I Feel Like I'm In Middle School Again...

[Shine 166]

I don't know what you're even talking about.  As soon as I signed up for this site, I almost immediately had the attention of a mod and became good friends with him.  There was only once that I felt "ostracized" on this site, and that was when I was invited into a group's private conversation when they were right in the middle of roleplaying, and one member seemed offended that I was just watching and not playing along and kept commenting that he didn't even know why I was invited in the first place.

 

Other than that one incident, I've only seen good, normal reactions between people here.  Sure, there are arguments, and sure some people are more popular than others, but it's not like anyone hates or dislikes you just because you aren't "one of the cool kids."  If you'd just talk to people, reply to comments often, post in a lot of different threads, then you would most likely find at least one person with whom you have a lot in common, and then you'd make friends.

 

There's no need to feel bad when you're surrounded by bronies.  *offers you a nice warm pony hug*

[Its Rainbow Dash 151]

Pudu you said it from the heart and it came out just right bravo.

 

I agree with above and hugz for all in Equestria everypony is loved!!

 

 

 

 

[Shine 166]

Pudu you said it from the heart and it came out just right bravo.

 

I agree with above and hugz for all in Equestria everypony is loved!!

 

Hooray for hugs!  

*insert deer giving ponies hugs*

[Flash Fire 386]

If I recognise a name of someone I have conversed with before or have come to respect the opinion of, yeah,sure, I'll give that person's post a bit more consideration. That doesn't mean I am going to neglect to read the posts of others on the same topic and respond as I see fit or where I feel I can make some solid input. I'm not "popular" but I've been in this world long enough to know that friends will back up friends long before strangers.

Edited February 13, 2014 by Flash Fire

[Rockymoo 2,136]

Nope, can't say I agree with you.

 

Sir, there are two issues here that I would like to briefly address:

1. That malarkey's all in your head. I know an admin personally and he doesn't stick up his nose when someone who isn't well-known talks to him.
2. If you want more friends, step out of your comfort zone and make them, you know? That's how I meet new people. A random PM can go a long way.

[Thrashy 2,800]

To regurgitate what 95% of others have said, it is human nature. Is it a pretty aspect of human nature that we venerate those we see as "cool", whilst completely ignoring the "noobs" because, hey, new folks never have shit to say worth listening to? Of course not. It's actually a letter away from pretty - it's petty. And frankly, I loathe anyone who revels in being popular. (Not to be confused with loathing for anyone who merely happens to be popular. In my eyes, pride in popularity is just as asinine as obsessive desire for popularity.)

 

Personally, I sneer at anyone who bothers to make constant status updates just for the sake of comment baiting; at anyone who openly shows off their stats on a regular basis - "Hey, I'm at X,XXX brohoofs/XXX,XXX profile views!" as if it's some kinda badge of honor; at anyone who behaves in any sort of exclusionary manner, afraid to step outside the boundaries set by their cliques, lest they themselves be ostracized for a single misstep.

 

This may be reflective of social interaction "in da real world", but that doesn't mean we have to sit by and take it with all smiles. Some popular people are fucking douchebags. In fact, a lot of them are. You think only the genuinely nice folks ever become popular? What a nice little fantasy. Completely deluded, but nice nonetheless. But to bring you back to reality for a moment, what happens when you shit in a swimming pool? It floats, doesn't it? And in the same way that shit rises to the surface, so, too, do some pretty awful people often rise to the top of the social ladder - a ladder on which the "rungs" are typically composed of lesser-known people.

 

Shit, I've been a part of circles where some folks will ignorantly bash an "outsider" whom I know for a fact is a good person, and just so happen to be friends with beyond the context of that clique. And you know what? Homey don't fucking play that game. I get pissed, and unlike a complete pussy devoid of any principles, I let people know that shit ain't gonna fly with me. And in doing so, I often jeopardize my own standing within those circles, and sometimes, the whole community. I can't tell you how many times I've made myself look like an ass on this site...hell, after making this post, it'll be one more instance added to the list, as far as many are concerned. Not that their opinions of me carry any weight. Hell, the weight of a gnat's dick would be a far greater encumbrance.

 

That said, my final point, if I may finally get to it after all this rambling, is this: If you feel like those in "higher positions" are marginalizing you despite your best efforts to be a good person, make friends and generally be a positive contributor to this community? Fuck. Them. You have very little to gain by seeking the approval of some jackasses who most likely achieved their own popularity by way of total fluke, and so much more to gain from just being yourself and declaring a pox on the misguided expectations of others.

 

Never let the discouraging nature of the social ladder scare you away from being a fucking individual, man. If you see no hopes of ever progressing up that ladder yourself, the least you can do is refuse to be a goddamn rung on that ladder.

Edited February 13, 2014 by Thrashy

[Its Rainbow Dash 151]

~Slow Claps for RockyMoo and Thrashy.~

 

It might have been a mouthful...

 

~Looks to Thrashy.~

 

But it had to be said and have good logical points.

 

Thanx for posting them.

[SasQ 1,355]

@, I understand your problem and I can imagine how you feel. But I see it differently than you, and I guess this is why I'm not upset with this situation as much as you are. You're upset because you seem to be unaware of some simple psychology which is ever-present in our world, not only in middle school or this forum. So let me explain you this psychology so that you could see it from different perspective.
 
When you first come to places like middle school, or this forum, you will see shitloads of people you don't know anything about. You don't know which are interesting, which are boring, which of them like the same things you like, what are their inter-relationships etc. You don't have enough time to talk with all of them. But you have to survive in this new environment in some way or another, so your brain needs to sort these people out somehow. This is what our brains are for, and what they're good at. They are machines designed for finding order in chaos, for filtering and ordering information. They can do it without us knowing, and most of the times they do.
 
So you start classifying people. You subconsciously tag them and attach different values to them, and put them into some order, some hierarchy, just for yourself, to know which of them you should approach first, because they seem more interesting/important/whatever to you. Because you have only such amount of time, and you cannot approach all of them (d'uh! there are thousands of users here!).
 
The way you sort them out may depend on many factors, but there are always some. For example, you can notice that someone appears more frequently in different places, and this would make you remember them better. When this user will appear again, you'll think to yourself: "Oh, I know this guy" or "I've seen him before", and you will feel some unexplained comfort. That's because your brain starts seeing a pattern, and patterns mean predictability, and predictability means safety. You may have already talked with some users, and now you know them, so you will unconsciously tend to prefer talking to them than to some other "strangers" you know nothing about and you don't know what to expect from.
 
Of course there can be some downsides of this mechanism, which you have noticed already: Other people follow this scheme too, so you can sometimes be their "stranger", and they might not want to talk with you just like that before knowing you better. You can see it as something bad, but then just remember that every stick has two ends (slingshots excluded ). You can see it as something bad when you narrow your perspective to yourself. But there's nothing good or wrong in this mechanism -- it's just a tool in our life. And the better you understand your tools, the better you can use them for your advantage.
So the questions should rather be:
"How can I exploit this mechanism better for my own advantage?"
"How to make other people notice me and regard me as someone important?"
And the most important one:
"Why do I need it at all?"

but I honestly feel that you have to be a member with thousands of brohoofs, and profile views in the 10,000+ range to actually be liked here.

 
That's because popularity, esteem, other people's attention and respect is not something what is due to you, but something you need to earn. Think on it for a while: Why should other people care what you have to say or who you are? Why should they consider you someone important? (especially when they know zilch about you personally). If this question is too hard (or upsetting), then try it the other way around: Why do you care about what someone else has to say? What is it that makes other people important to you? What do they do which makes you respect them? Do you respect anyone "on credit" without ever knowing him? When you answer these questions, you should understand why other people don't pay attention to you just like that, and what to do to increase your esteem in their eyes (if you care).
 
When I came to this forum, I didn't know anyone here. The picture under my avatar was showing how n00b I am: Blank Flank! And 0 brohooves in my profile. But I didn't see it as something bad or upsetting. C'est la vie. It won't hurt me in any way, so why should I care? When I started my first thread (the one about symbolism and hidden knowledge in MLP:FiM), I had no expectations of what would happen. But it turned out that this thread become very popular and many people participated in it. I earned lots of brohooves for what I wrote there. I found some friends there, and some opponents too. My brain automatically sorted them out, and whenever I noticed their avatars or nicknames on these forums, I automatically knew what can I expect from them. They become "popular" for me at least. And the same had probably happened from their side: they started to recognize me. "Oh, I know this guy, he's that symbolist one." Then I started another thread, about the alphabet of the Unicorns. Again, it became popular, no matter my low status and lack of connections. And people relabeled me in their heads: "Oh, that's that science dude". Not all of them, of course. I'm aware that there are still lots of people here which have never heard of me and they don't recognize me anyway. But I'm cool with it. Urge of being popular is not what has brought me to this forum, and it was never what motivated my actions. And these threads are best proofs that your status doesn't really matter that much: if you have something interesting to say, people will see it sooner or later, and your status will go up to reflect that.
 

For starters, it's pretty clear that only the most popular members here are taken seriously.

 

Not only here, but everywhere you go. Haven't you noticed?

When you see a person with a high status, lots of brohooves, who appears everywheren and is known by everyone, and when you see other people respect him, what do you think or feel about him? Don't you have a feel that he might be so popular or important for a reason? Don't you automatically tend to respect whatever he says more than what other people with low status would say? Being popular or respectful is rarely a streak of luck. All those brohooves and badges and levels are just a reflection of how other people perceive him, how much they agreed with what he said, how much they all like him, how much important or valuable person he is to them. There are exceptions, of course, but in most cases you might be pretty much sure that he earned his status right.

Regard it as a sort of computer game where every player has his level. Everyone starts at level 0 and as the game flows, this level goes up with acquiring experience points, slaying monsters, solving problems, participating in quests etc. And the more your level is, the more powerful you become. You can slay bigger monsters which you were afraid in the past because they could kill you so easily. You can get better weapons or spells. You can lift more weight. You can go to some more dangerous locations and find better treasures. And you gain esteem in other players' eyes. They start to respect you more, because you start matter to them and being someone important in their lives. The more you can help them in their problems, the more you can influence their lives positively in some way, the more important you will be to them.

At this forum (as in everywhere), it works the same way. You earn brohooves for saying something interesting, funny, intriguing, or in any way important to other people. You gain your status from just posting a lot. (So, in my opinion, this alone is not a good indicator of someone's popularity, and I never pay much attention to it, since one can just post a lot of gibberish and earn a badge, and someone else can post less but more substantial). And "You gain friends by being friendly", quoting the oldest MLP cosplayer, Granny Smith
 

I see it in status updates, where popular members, no matter what they say, get all sorts of comments from members and admins alike, and their blogs get the same treatment too. The mods and admins seem to love chatting with the forum elites, and whenever I try to talk with them, it seems they don't care at all about what I have to say, no matter how constructive it may be.

You see more than there is. They chat with each other because they know each other already, and they simply don't know much about you. You're perfect stranger to them, so why should they pay more attention to you than to other people they already know? You can be very smart & interesting person, you can have lots of interesting things to say, but this doesn't automatically mean others will want to know you or hear what you have to say. You have to get their attention first.

There's a scene in "Men in Black" movie, where Will Smith as James Edwards first comes into the secret base of Men in Black, full of weird alien creatures and extraterrestrial technology gadgets, and there's a following dialog between him and his new partner & mentor, Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones):

Jay: All right, I'm in. 'Cause there's some next level shit going on and I'm OK with that. But before y'all go beaming me up there's one thing you gotta remember: You chose me... so you recognized the skills, so I don't want nobody calling me son or kid or sport or nothing like that, cool?
Kay: Cool, whatever you say, slick, but I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.


And this dialogue perfectly describes your situation whenever you come to some new place where no one knows what are you worth of. So don't be disappointed: that's how it is. Instead of getting upset, learn the rules of the game and level up quick
 

It may sound silly being this upset over things like this

So you're aware of what's wrong, but you're doing it that way anyway?

 

I feel as if the popularity contest has gone way to far, and it's those unjustly at the bottom of the pyramid who feel the pinch.

Yeah, it sucks   But what can you do about it? You always have two choices:
1. Lament on it and feel bad/upset/worthless.
2. Learn the game and exploit it to your advantage.
 

Mind you, this is all coming from the eyes of a sufferer of severe clinical depression, so a lot of what I say could reflect such.

Did you know that it works the other way around, too?
A lot what you say will be reflected by your mind and body, and when you use certain words (even unconsciously), it can only deepen your depression.

 

It might even be so that your deppressive attitude may actually cause your lack of popularity. People tend to avoid people who are sad, because sadness is contagious. If you approach people with a mindset that they wouldn't listen to you, they will not listen to you. They will (unconsciously) reflect whatever you project on them from your mind. That's because everything you encounter in your life reflects your current mindset in this way or another. If you're not happy with what you get, you should start from changing your mindset, and you will notice how the world around you will change to reflect it.

 

Edit: There's another thread on this forum you may want to check too:

http://mlpforums.com/topic/84085-how-do-i-become-more-popular-or-at-least-get-more-respect-from-others/

 

Edit 2: Wait... WHAT?! I've just noticed you're a Bird. You have twice as much brohooves as I have, you've posted four times as much as I do, and you have 5 times more profile views than me. And you are trying to tell me that popularity is your problem? This can't be serious, you're trolling us, don't you?

Edited February 13, 2014 by SasQ

[Commander Bubbles 1,343]

Nope, can't say I agree with you.

 

Sir, there are two issues here that I would like to briefly address:

 

• That malarkey's all in your head. I know an admin personally and he doesn't stick up his nose when someone who isn't well-known talks to him.
• If you want more friends, step out of your comfort zone and make them, you know? That's how I meet new people. A random PM can go a long way.

Wow, you're really lucky. Random PMs for me don't do shit.

[Moved to Elsewhere 11,330]

I can kind of see what you mean. Like I'lll sometimes make a well thought out blog or thread only for ti to be overshadowed by a more popular memebr's blog. But really, why should it matter. I'm not the most popular but I stil have fun here. You really just got to get to know people by like replying to statuses or pming people. Oh and just because someone is popular, doesn't mean they're any better than yourself.

[SasQ 1,355]

Like I'lll sometimes make a well thought out blog or thread only for ti to be overshadowed by a more popular memebr's blog.

 

Hmm... This actually might be a problem.

I often check out the main page of this forum to see the list of recent most active threads and find out if some of them will catch my attention. But I also noticed that sometimes there are repeated links there, which push other interesting content out of the roster.

 

Also, the most active threads are usually those where people are role-playing, which aren't much interesting to people who are not playing with them. I think it might be a good idea to filter out such topics to some separate list, so that they won't litter the threads list, which could contain more interesting links then. If someone is role-playing, he probably is being noticed about updates of the threads he participate, so this shouldn't hurt anyone, I guess, but it would do some benefit for other users.

Edited February 13, 2014 by SasQ

[KarentheUnicorn 218]

I'm new on the forums and have no idea who is or isn't popular...my comment has nothing to do with the forum.

 

My comment is: Nascar and My Little Pony. I thought I was the only one on the planet who liked both those things!

[Bird Mom 900]

On one hand yes, it is going a bit to far. But on the other, the populars sometimes don't mean to be popular. You know?

[Super Derpy 535]

I feel like it has too. Like we have all these contests about whose the biggest fan of (insert something here) or most popular forum member. And it is just annoying not getting any votes for anything just because not as many people know you. But no offense to the really popular forum users who i actually know quite a few of. It just isn't a good feeling when a popular person post a status update asking how everyone is doing and they get 20 responses and then you post the same thing and get none.