i'm finally putting my fiction into action!

[Fantasma Phantasm 674]

Heh heh check this out! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10094407/1/Harmonys-Chronicles-MLP-FIM-head-canon-and-Fimfiction-project  Choctastic!!!

[Revolver Bobcat 45]

I read it. Im guessing this is your first time writing something, right? If so, it shows.

 

If not, my god...

 

First and foremost: Grammar. Find a tutorial about how to write, equestria daily has one and its a good one.

 

2: I really can't take this seriously, it feels like the script for a sock-puppet show. ITS JUST SO HAMMY! IN BAD WAY!

 

3: Conflict comes from out of nowhere and so does their motivations.

 

4: Dora the explorer moment:

 

"Clap your hands everyone so Omni-Essence can live!

 

(Awkward silence)

 

YOU DID AWESOME!"

 

Don't talk to the reader directly unless you have a VERY good reason, and even then it's not advised, it ruins the immertion.

[Fantasma Phantasm 674]

I read it. Im guessing this is your first time writing something, right? If so, it shows.

 

If not, my god...

 

First and foremost: Grammar. Find a tutorial about how to write, equestria daily has one and its a good one.

 

2: I really can't take this seriously, it feels like the script for a sock-puppet show. ITS JUST SO HAMMY! IN BAD WAY!

 

3: Conflict comes from out of nowhere and so does their motivations.

 

4: Dora the explorer moment:

 

"Clap your hands everyone so Omni-Essence can live!

 

(Awkward silence)

 

YOU DID AWESOME!"

 

Don't talk to the reader directly unless you have a VERY good reason, and even then it's not advised, it ruins the immertion.

A lot of it was also bad wording as well.... Sorry you had to read that.... it was disaster in the making. HAM!!! HAM!!! The conflict will be explained in (hopefully) later stories, for it IS a chronicle. But still it was the meaning of bad writing.... And boy oh boy was it hard to cope knowing I did so bad.... Thank you for telling me this... maybe i'll try again next time I actually show my face to that website..... DANG IT! hardly any visuals either.... Curse my luck!!!

Edited February 17, 2014 by Mr.Green

[Revolver Bobcat 45]

Look, don't worry about.

 

We all start by writing crap (in fact, is recomended that you start writing whatever), some things that you think are amazing now might not be in a few days, just write until you have a clear idea of what you are doing.

 

AND REMEMBER TO READ THE TUTORIAL AT EQUESTRIA DAILY, IT HELPS A LOT!