writing A story i'm writing for my exam.

[yeet 2,027]

Basically I am writing a story in English for an exam or something, and I would like a bit of feedback with what I have so far. Also I started this today in English. If anyone wants to spend some time reading it. I will most likely change the name Black Rock Asylum.

 

 

 

Black Rock Asylum, located on the outskirts of a ghost town in England, stood upon a large, rocky hill. It had been closed for years. After the discord between the sixty or so workers, one of them went mad and let the tormented souls trapped in the cells out. After they were let free havoc reigned over the now desolate asylum. Every once in a while there would be a few police officers investigating the place, but were never reported to have come back. No one wanted to go there either. Many people had wondered what could be in there, if anyone, or anything, was still lurking the dark, ruined corridors of the supposedly deserted building. Ever since the closing down of the asylum, many big newspaper companies had wanted to do an article on the place, but couldn’t as no journalist or reporter was brave enough to enter. Eventually, one journalist thought it was time to investigate.

 

There had been talk of soldiers around the vicinity, obviously something was happening there. But they were soldiers, they wouldn’t have been afraid of a few rumours about an asylum after being trained for worse. A journalist wouldn’t stand a chance if something was happening there, consequently there were no journalists thought to be there. The perfect reason for a journalist brave enough to go.

 

Alexander Malakian was an experienced journalist in his early thirties. He had curly black hair, eyes that shone a greyish moony colour, and a thick, black goatee. He was wearing a long sleeved checkered red shirt, with black trousers and timberland boots. He had spoken to the company he worked for and got the all clear on the job, it would be the perfect time to go, his biggest problem would be getting past the soldiers.

Alexander left at roughly five in the evening. He went in his cheaper, smaller car. The sun had started to set, and the sky was a scarlet colour with ripples of orange. By leaving at this time, he would be at the asylum by about midnight, unless he stayed to rest somewhere and went in the morning. He would also get an hour or so more sunlight.

 

After half an hour of driving the sky had started to get filled with grey and black clouds, a sign that it would most likely rain during his journey. The sun had gone down almost completely by now and the full moon could be seen, if one was looking in the right direction.

 

After driving a few hours longer, with light rain hitting his windscreen, the sky became filled with the white light of the moon, shinning brighter than it usually did, even coming through the depressing clouds, but was soon left barely visible by the rain that started to downpour onto the world. He looked at his fuel gauge and noticed it

was almost empty. He certainly didn’t have enough fuel to get to the asylum, let alone back home.

 

After a few more miles he stopped at a service station to fill up and get some food. After locking his car and sprinting into the building, he bought a few snacks to have on the rest of the journey, and used the restroom, before running back into the heavy rain to fill his car up and leaving.

Edited May 12, 2014 by Brechard