A dark fanfic discussion (Read Warning)

[Fractured 2,683]

Before I get to the bulk of this discussion, I just want to throw in a warning to those people who get curious. This discussion may contain mention of disturbing fanfictions, things that make Cupcakes look like cupcakes. If you are easily tempted and don't like reading scary/disturbing stuff, I suggest you leave now.

Now that we're all good...

I just read Cheerilee's Garden.

I will wonder until the end of time exactly what kind of a mind it would take to create something quite so twisted, but i'm not making this thread to whine. My question to you is: Have you ever read a disturbing MLP fanfiction? And before everyone shouts Cupcakes, let me explain.

Cupcakes is scary, terrifying to some extent, but not disturbing. The scenario comes out of nowhere, there's a lack of depth that suggests the writer wasn't quite deep into the MLP universe, and the characters aren't believable; you could replace Pinkie and Dash with any other character from the whole of fiction and aside from the body chemistry involved, little about the story would change. I'm talking about fanfictions like Cheerilee's Garden; one's that are so extensive in detail, no random person could have written them just by looking at an episode. One's that have situations so believable and thought out, you could realistically imagine that character changing in this. Stories that blend in with the canon so well you know that the person that wrote it had to be a fan. If you've happened to read any of these, feel free to talk about them below. What were they about? What about them made them disturbing? Did you ever manage to see the show the same way? If so, how? Am I taking this too seriously? Anything regarding disturbing fanfictions is free to discuss.

Edited July 30, 2014 by Shimmer5000

[UCD 75]

I love this fanfic. It's brutal, disturbing, and bloody as hell, but the icing on the cake is that it's believable. The author obviously put a LOT of time and effort into it. It is truly a gem, especially with all the cliche pastas popping up on the web now.

 

That said, it didn't really phase me much. I don't see the show or the characters any differently. I'm a big fan of horror and violence, but I'm also a fan of bright colors and cartoons (and ponies). These things just don't blend to me. Even after reading the fic, I just can't associate that Cheerilee with the one we all know and love. 

 

I guess because I look at these stories as "what if" scenarios. Imagine it's in an alternate universe, where Cheerilee isn't a good natured school teacher but a crazy mare who thinks she has to cleanse the world of bad seeds (weeds in the garden). None of this ever happened or will happened; the author just wants you to envision this scenario.

 

If the story really bothers you, try to look at it like that. Either way, thanks for sharing. It was brilliant, and most fanfics of this nature are just the same cliches (there was blood everywhere so much blood and all the water turned into blood and it was bleeding hyper-realistic), so it was a good change of pace for me.

[Solid 1,326]

Cupcakes was pretty rough but for some reason it didn't have much of an effect on me (maybe I'm pretty tough in terms of gorefics lol) not sure about this fic but I would need some time to think.

 

The thing is, I am writing a pretty disturbing gorefic myself. Main thing that makes this fic disturbing is Hatred, I've done some research (yea, researching for the sake of a fanfiction) of historical events and planning to read the bible and the Qu'ran and stuff. I've noticed that most atrocities throughout history is miraculously revolving around this theme of Love vs. Hate. Sometimes, things get really messy when people hate, like holocaust, 9/11, Cultural Revolution, etc. And yes, especially including the haters of this fandom, who sometimes go do disturbing things to hate...

 

When I read a gorefic or write one myself, I'm not exactly into the blood gushing everywhere kind b/c it becomes unrealistic, perhaps somewhat fantasy like gore which usually doesn't disturb me. What really disturbs me is realistic gore/violence, and when it involves innocent little ponies it becomes 2000% more disturbing.

 

For example, there was this one part I had a hard time writing where Apple Bloom...well...*Spoiler alert don't strain to see if you don't want the spoilers* had a knife jammed inside her body, and the main six and the main character had to get it out...    No need for excessive amount of gore, the event alone is disturbing enough on its own (these kind of things happen in real life)

 

My fic is a crossover with Metal Gear, which is something I felt really glad about b/c I can see now that I'm not the only one who had this mindset. Kojima was really able to touch the most taboo themes and perhaps will in the new Phantom Pain. In fact, we had an amazing coincidence (DISTURBING VID NOT FOR SENSITIVE AUDIENCE)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUuAO0eOwx0

 

Yep, similar situation, except the poor sufferer was an innocent little filly, which makes it way more disturbing and  hard to write about.

 

 

Perhaps one of the best ways to me for disturbing someone is the lack of emotion and short but rapid emotional roller coaster, unlike some cliche gorefic which spends so much time excessively passionately depict the gore to the point people get bored.

 

 

Consider the follow statement.

 

Her gut was warm.

 

The flat statement of an extremely intense graphic scene really gives the punch.

 

 

Instead of 5k words of nonstop gore, we can have them scattered throughout the chapter, in short bursts. So there would be this up down up down roller coaster which makes gorefics much more effective.

 

Last, blending in with the canon could be really challenging, but there are ways. For example, some hazy part of the official show could really bring in some creativity. Cupcakes for example used Pinkie's at time hysterical behavior and twisted her into a serial killer. 

 

Well, I used Fluttershy's apparent missing parents and her apparent unwillingness to fly and...wrote some disturbing things. It's hard for me to write such stuff since Flutters is my fav pony but her pure kindness and innocent heart makes her angelic, and one of the most disturbing things someone could do is to hurt an innocent "angel" in a symbolic way for Hatred, *Spoiler alert don't strain to see if you don't want the spoilers* such as crushing her wings.

 

Realism instead of excessive gore, with lack of emotions and passion. Get some.

 

 

 

[Fractured 2,683]

Cupcakes was pretty rough but for some reason it didn't have much of an effect on me (maybe I'm pretty tough in terms of gorefics lol) not sure about this fic but I would need some time to think.

 

The thing is, I am writing a pretty disturbing gorefic myself. Main thing that makes this fic disturbing is Hatred, I've done some research (yea, researching for the sake of a fanfiction) of historical events and planning to read the bible and the Qu'ran and stuff. I've noticed that most atrocities throughout history is miraculously revolving around this theme of Love vs. Hate. Sometimes, things get really messy when people hate, like holocaust, 9/11, Cultural Revolution, etc. And yes, especially including the haters of this fandom, who sometimes go do disturbing things to hate...

 

When I read a gorefic or write one myself, I'm not exactly into the blood gushing everywhere kind b/c it becomes unrealistic, perhaps somewhat fantasy like gore which usually doesn't disturb me. What really disturbs me is realistic gore/violence, and when it involves innocent little ponies it becomes 2000% more disturbing.

 

For example, there was this one part I had a hard time writing where Apple Bloom...well...*Spoiler alert don't strain to see if you don't want the spoilers* had a knife jammed inside her body, and the main six and the main character had to get it out...    No need for excessive amount of gore, the event alone is disturbing enough on its own (these kind of things happen in real life)

 

My fic is a crossover with Metal Gear, which is something I felt really glad about b/c I can see now that I'm not the only one who had this mindset. Kojima was really able to touch the most taboo themes and perhaps will in the new Phantom Pain. In fact, we had an amazing coincidence (DISTURBING VID NOT FOR SENSITIVE AUDIENCE)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUuAO0eOwx0

 

Yep, similar situation, except the poor sufferer was an innocent little filly, which makes it way more disturbing and  hard to write about.

 

 

Perhaps one of the best ways to me for disturbing someone is the lack of emotion and short but rapid emotional roller coaster, unlike some cliche gorefic which spends so much time excessively passionately depict the gore to the point people get bored.

 

 

Consider the follow statement.

 

Her gut was warm.

 

The flat statement of an extremely intense graphic scene really gives the punch.

 

 

Instead of 5k words of nonstop gore, we can have them scattered throughout the chapter, in short bursts. So there would be this up down up down roller coaster which makes gorefics much more effective.

 

Last, blending in with the canon could be really challenging, but there are ways. For example, some hazy part of the official show could really bring in some creativity. Cupcakes for example used Pinkie's at time hysterical behavior and twisted her into a serial killer. 

 

Well, I used Fluttershy's apparent missing parents and her apparent unwillingness to fly and...wrote some disturbing things. It's hard for me to write such stuff since Flutters is my fav pony but her pure kindness and innocent heart makes her angelic, and one of the most disturbing things someone could do is to hurt an innocent "angel" in a symbolic way for Hatred, *Spoiler alert don't strain to see if you don't want the spoilers* such as crushing her wings.

 

Realism instead of excessive gore, with lack of emotions and passion. Get some.

I do believe Cheerilee's Garden subverts this. It blends the excessive gore with the emotional aspect of the victims. It also takes care to give the characters realistic emotions(to the show, at least) aside from the usual victim/killer personas, such as... 

After Cheerilees done torturing DT and Silver Spoon, she tells a by then half-dissolved DT she and Silver Spoon can go home if she can crawl over and reach her. DT is genuinely happy to see her, and they practically rejoice. You can actually feel the love there, and it's an amazingly touching scene...

right until she dumps acid on both of them.

 

 

[neznamkaksa 78]

You say Cupcakes are not disturbing?And youve watched the animated version?(i guess this thread is for fanfics but i have to point it out).

Also i dont understand what kind of bronies would make fan fics of killing ponies,playing with their guts and other disgusting stuff?Now dont go saying "Me!Il do it".For me playing with mlp by writing fanfics and eventually animating stuff that in there ponies get murdered,mutilated, decapitated and other gruesome shit are some kind of sadists.I know its not real and shit,but still.

AND if you think im sensitive over bloody stuff i watched Corpse party tortured souls the whole anime so dont say "ur sensitive"

[Fractured 2,683]

You say Cupcakes are not disturbing?And youve watched the animated version?(i guess this thread is for fanfics but i have to point it out).

Also i dont understand what kind of bronies would make fan fics of killing ponies,playing with their guts and other disgusting stuff?Now dont go saying "Me!Il do it".For me playing with mlp by writing fanfics and eventually animating stuff that in there ponies get murdered,mutilated, decapitated and other gruesome shit are some kind of sadists.I know its not real and shit,but still.

AND if you think im sensitive over bloody stuff i watched Corpse party tortured souls the whole anime so dont say "ur sensitive"

Cupcakes is more disconnected than, say The Secret Life of Rarity. It feels like they only inserted the bare minimum character traits in order to connect it to MLP:FIM. Essentially, once you get past the opening and remove the aesthetics, it's just basic, rather boring.It's also only a couple of pages; more of a oneshot than anything. I don't feel like a fan of the show wrote it; I could've written myself after watching the first episode. Whoever wrote that just wanted recognition for butchering a kids show.

The person who wrote Cheerilee's Garden and the aforementioned Secret Life of Rarity were the real sadists. They had to have watched the show, perhaps meticulously. They had this idea, they breathed life into it, and they created an entire world based around the idea. Cheerilee's Garden was 60,000 words over three different subsections, all detailing Complex characters, thoughts, and emotions...It had to be an act of love. So much sick, twisted, love.

[neznamkaksa 78]

Cupcakes is more disconnected than, say The Secret Life of Rarity. It feels like they only inserted the bare minimum character traits in order to connect it to MLP:FIM. Essentially, once you get past the opening and remove the aesthetics, it's just basic, rather boring.It's also only a couple of pages; more of a oneshot than anything. I don't feel like a fan of the show wrote it; I could've written myself after watching the first episode. Whoever wrote that just wanted recognition for butchering a kids show.

The person who wrote Cheerilee's Garden and the aforementioned Secret Life of Rarity were the real sadists. They had to have watched the show, perhaps meticulously. They had this idea, they breathed life into it, and they created an entire world based around the idea. Cheerilee's Garden was 60,000 words over three different subsections, all detailing Complex characters, thoughts, and emotions...It had to be an act of love. So much sick, twisted, love.

And you enjoy bloody fanfics of your favourite show?

[Fractured 2,683]

And you enjoy bloody fanfics of your favourite show?

Not particularly. I read Cupcakes due to obligation, and I still haven't gotten to Rainbow Factory. If i'm going to read a grimdark, it has to be more than the violence that keeps me there; I have to have a really good story behind it, to where I can understand motivations behind what's happening. I also have limits; I won't read scenes where Pinkie Pie is being tortured, for instance.

[neznamkaksa 78]

Ok i just talked to another brony and it seems like only i dont enjoy reading goryfics and watching cupcakes.

[Fractured 2,683]

Ok i just talked to another brony and it seems like only i dont enjoy reading goryfics and watching cupcakes.

Are you just opposed to violence, or is there something else that keeps you from reading grimdarks?

[neznamkaksa 78]

Are you just opposed to violence, or is there something else that keeps you from reading grimdarks?

Im not opposed to violence, to bloody stuff or grimdark shit.Im opposed when this shit happens to MLP.I dunno why

[Ianpiersonjdavis 512]

Cupcakes didn't really bother that much (and Dashie's my favorite).

 

Mostly because I grew up watching horror films with my best friend, but also because my suspension of disbelief was broken halfway through the story for two reasons;

 

-The health inspector would have caught something like that, someone would have gone to the basement as some point, or the stench of decay would be so bad, the Cakes would eventually go down to investigate.

 

-With operations Pinkie was performing, Dash should have bled out long before the halfway mark and as FimFlamFilosophy astutely pointed out-it didn't seem like the author understood blood connections very well.

[Lighting Star 93]

I have to disagree with you on Cupcakes. Becaue what I felt the creepiest thing was about it was how in character Pinkie Pie was during the fanfic....

 

Or is that just me?

[Fractured 2,683]

I have to disagree with you on Cupcakes. Becaue what I felt the creepiest thing was about it was how in character Pinkie Pie was during the fanfic....

 

Or is that just me?

The fanfic was written during season one, and before Party of One; Pinkie Pie had no character development to speak of at that point outside of"want fun".The Pinkie Pie in Cupcakes is only realistic if you were take out all of the depth that we've seen Pinkie Pie exhibit and replace her with a mirror pool clone; someone that just wants to have fun no matter what the cost. If anything, the more realistic Pinkie Pie is in the cure for Cupcakes, The Light in the Darkness: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/16531/the-light-in-the-darkness