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Am I hated?


Kyoshi Frost Wolf

1,289 views

I am not good at social interactions. Never was. I thought I was getting better when I was in school over time, but it seems all of that has gone away and my ability to properly socialize has gotten worse in time. I also suffer from depression, but lot's of people know that already. With these things, I have a terrible social life offline and lately, online too. I am starting to feel like most people hate me for whatever reason. Could be people think I am too depressing or maybe I pissed some people off by saying something stupid. I just feel like I have fucked up numerous times without properly knowing it. Or I could be paranoid beyond belief and overthinking things.

I am having a sort of emotional spasm tonight. I know, depressive bullshit is nothing new from me, but these feelings just hit me. Like a car crashing in out of nowhere. I don't mean for my depressive nonsense to bring others down but I just seem to bring others down without knowing it.

If anyone here reads this and thinks I am overthinking things, then ignore this post. I am just getting thoughts onto some kind of outlet somewhere. I am tired of bothering specific people with my ramblings on life.

  • Brohoof 2

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What triggered it? If its the debate pit or something, people can disagree and not hate each other. Anyways I would just try getting more sleep and doing the stress reduction activities.

b0c3f74d2853f3a7e28cd755539d7f95.jpg

Fyi everything that increases heartrate the most is better to do in the morning of these and the chiller stuff at night.  Brains tend to need (7 to)10 hours of sleep(naps help too). Also consider diet hydration sunlight fresh air, etc.

Also pain of being non-social goes away more if you game or read or forums etc, and especially if you don't care so much what others think. Also laying in bed on the comp or phone all day seems detrimental when I used to do that. Also if you wanna boost your health faster, for exercise they say strength training, swimming, and light jog alternation with brisk walking leads to the most longevity.

Why stress reduction matters tho, it damages brain cells to be stressed. Excitement is fine n stuff but if you feel bad that's a sign to take better care of yourself.

And poor sleep reduced oxygen to the brain from a weaker heart which can cause heart pains and anxiety. Gotta get dat sleep.

Edited by CuriUndersXeno
  • Brohoof 3
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I don't hate you mate, in fact I think you're a pretty cool guy, could just be some of the things we have in common, but I certainly do not hate you, far from it.

  • Brohoof 4
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13 minutes ago, CuriUndersXeno said:

What triggered it? If its the debate pit or something, people can disagree and not hate each other. Anyways I would just try getting more sleep and doing the stress reduction activities.

b0c3f74d2853f3a7e28cd755539d7f95.jpg

Fyi everything that increases heartrate the most is better to do in the morning of these and the chiller stuff at night.  Brains tend to need (7 to)10 hours of sleep(naps help too). Also consider diet hydration sunlight fresh air, etc.

Also pain of being non-social goes away more if you game or read or forums etc, and especially if you don't care so much what others think. Also laying in bed on the comp or phone all day seems detrimental when I used to do that. Also if you wanna boost your health faster, for exercise they say strength training, swimming, and light jog alternation with brisk walking leads to the most longevity.

Why stress reduction matters tho, it damages brain cells to be stressed. Excitement is fine n stuff but if you feel bad that's a sign to take better care of yourself.

And poor sleep reduced oxygen to the brain from a weaker heart which can cause heart pains and anxiety. Gotta get dat sleep.

Not specifically brought the feelings about, mostly my own paranoia and fear. I worry about a lot of stuff, tends to be very irrational. I have really bad anxiety issues. I worry so much that it makes it difficult to do anything relaxing. Playing a video game can relax me to no end, yet if my anxiety is going bananas I may never even bother. It is a big fueling cycle of bleh.

24 minutes ago, Astral Flame said:

I don't hate you mate, in fact I think you're a pretty cool guy, could just be some of the things we have in common, but I certainly do not hate you, far from it.

Happy to hear that. ^-^

  • Brohoof 2
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Our actual interactions have been pretty few, but from what I've seen around here and those few interactions, I can say I definitely don't hate you. I think you're a good person and someone I could see having as a friend~ :)

  • Brohoof 1
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I haven't really talked to you in PMs or anywhere else having some casual conversations, but on the forums in general I can see that you always have something sensible (I'm not sure if this is the right word) to say and it's neat.

There's no reason to hate you!

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We've never talked much, but I've seen you here and there and I can tell, that you're a good person. Though yeah, I've noticed that negative emotions haunt you and it worries me.

Overthinking maybe not - I'd rather call it getting the stress control you. I've meet some people before, who were very nice, but after they started to take few things too seriously because of stress, they kinda became... well.. a source of negative emotions, because they kept poking things over and over again. Even though the others were trying to help them, they still were focusing on the dark side, which was putting them in a worse and worse state to the point, where nothing could be done, because all the dark feelings were thrown towards the others. Generally that was a sign of giving up. Depression is a serious threat and nobody can really blame anybody for suffering from it. :sunny:

That being said, what you wrote and what I saw here and there made me worried - You're not hated (as far as I know) and thinking that you 'are' makes it worse, because you're poking the negative emotions that way. Even if, there always are ones, who care about you (who's filling everypony with signatures? ^_^)  and there's always time to start everything over and fix things - that's the bright side you can focus on. Don't give up - try to find that sunshine in your life. :fluttershy:

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No. I think you're overthinking it and believe I should let you know.

Thinking that everyone hates you often ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you believe that you are beyond redemption, you start to see everyone as enemies and act as if you have nothing left to lose.

Not to mention that once you're in this mindset, confirmation bias becomes incredibly powerful. Every inconspicuous little act of disappointment becomes proof that you are hated while the person itself bears no ill will on your person. Not many people hold grudges at all (in fact, that's actually considered strange) let alone over tiny little things.

Edited by Liquid
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I've talked some to you - not a whole bunch but from what I can tell, you're not only cool, but awesome. Even if someone says otherwise, just tell yourself that there's people who think you ARE awesome. ;)

I used to be like you - while I still suffer from occasional bouts of depression, I used to think I was hated by everyone and that the world was just a shitty place (excuse my language, I'm trying not to use it as much). While what caused me to think more positively would definitely not be an option (a health scare from a seizure), I think taking a break from stressful things and trying various things to reduce stress would help. While researching stress reduction techniques, be sure to take in medical studies on those techniques - one thing that has been proven by tons of medical studies to help reduce stress massively is different types of mindfulness and meditation, and it helps for me. Never hurts to try different things and finding what works for you!

If you ever want to talk, you have me on Discord. Hit me up anytime I'm online!

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