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Pointless Greetings


Brony Number 42

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I hate meeting people who say "How are you?" It is so stupid. I saw a doctor and she said "how are you" so I said "I wouldn't be here if I was fine."

Every day at work it's the same thing. "How are you today?" You see me 14 days every 28. You see me more than my family does. Why do you need to ask me the same pointless question every day? What do you expect me to say? Or sometimes it's "What's going on?" What the hell do you think is going on? I'm at work, I'm doing the same thing that I do every day. I will let you know if things change. There was some movie where some (crazy) guy would only say "hello" and he would hand out pieces of paper that said "hello." I should do that.

Why has our culture chosen a pointless question as a greeting? You don't really care how I am. You say "how are you?" and I say "I'm fine, how are you?" and you say "I'm fine, thanks for asking" and I say "You're welcome" and then I throw a chair through a window and jump out because I can't stand this situation and your inane chatter.

If you ask me a question then I assume you want an honest answer. Crazy concept, right? So maybe I answer honestly. Maybe I say "For starters, this anitbiotic I'm on is giving me diarrhea. I wish I was at home playing video games and not talking to you right now. How are you?"

How about we come up with a new greeting system.

Standard greeting # 1: I am operating within acceptable parameters. No assistance is requested. I desire that you, too, are operating within acceptable parameters. 

Standard response # 2. Situation not optimal. Reasonable assistance is requested. Standby for further information.

Standard response # 3: Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck your pets, and fuck anybody who shares 90% of your DNA.

  • Brohoof 1

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Yeah it's so stupid it's why I font even bother answering those questions anymore. I mean if someone wants to talk atleast try to say something meaningful greetings like that serve no purpose or have any meaning as far as discussion goes.

  • Brohoof 1
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In a conversation, I like to reply with “well I’m still alive so at least I’m doing something right” :mlp_icwudt:

Or if some random person asks me I just say “I’m okay” and leave it at that; I agree it’s pointless and I never ask it back unless I actually care.

Edited by SparklingSwirls
  • Brohoof 1
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I actually happen to be one of those folks who, when they ask 'how are you?', I actually DO want a response; the standard 'I'm fine' is bullshit - NOBODY'S fine.  Besides, how can I try to make anything better if you're 'fine'?

So yeah... if I ever ask you that question, feel free to tell me about the cousin who blew up his car, or the guy at the hot dog stand that sneezed on your food, or that ache you have behind your middle toe on your left foot... I'll listen.  I want to make connections, and the easiest way to do so is asking for more information.

However, I tend to start with 'hiya', because I agree that starting with a question sounds foolish.

And, for what it's worth, I feel your rage up there; I get it.  There are so many pointless things in the world today; it's just one more dog on the pile, I suppose.  My sympathies to you.

  • Brohoof 3
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Agreed. A greeting shouldn't be a quiz.

Personally I just like to give a grunt of recognition if I have to say anything at all.

"Hey"

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Couldn't agree more.  I hate pointless greetings.  And small talk.  I only say things that I think are worth saying, and I only ask questions that I want an answer to, and I treat others the same way.  I give them honest answers.  If they don't like it, too bad.

I've got another good response for you.  When someone asks, "how have you been?", you respond, "My existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period."  I like that one.  :laugh:

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Another thing that really gets on my nerves: Somebody says "How's it going?" I give the standard generic answer and then "How about you?" and they freaking ignore it!!!

If I have to answer your meaningless question you have to answer mine!!!!! :angry:

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