I'm not going to waste your time by talking about your family, or your friends, or anything like that, because unlike most people, I understand the suicidal mind. I know that you feel like you're doing them a favor, that to remind you of them would only strengthen your resolve. I know this because I've been suicidal myself.

All I wish to ask you is this: do you truly, honestly, wish to die? Or do you just want the pain to stop? Because it sounds to me like it's the latter, and if that's the case, I would like to ask you to consider trying to find some way of getting help.

I know what it's like to live with depression. I cope with it every day. Some days I just want to scream at the world and destroy everything. Other days I can't do much other than sit in a chair or lie on my back. But I keep going, because dying means that's completely it, game over, can't be taken back. You can't reverse it.

I hope you can hear me out. Please, try to get help. It's worth it, life. Trust me on this.

I'm not going to waste your time by talking about your family, or your friends, or anything like that, because unlike most people, I understand the suicidal mind. I know that you feel like you're doing them a favor, that to remind you of them would only strengthen your resolve. I know this because I've been suicidal myself.

 

All I wish to ask you is this: do you truly, honestly, wish to die? Or do you just want the pain to stop? Because it sounds to me like it's the latter, and if that's the case, I would like to ask you to consider trying to find some way of getting help.

 

I know what it's like to live with depression. I cope with it every day. Some days I just want to scream at the world and destroy everything. Other days I can't do much other than sit in a chair or lie on my back. But I keep going, because dying means that's completely it, game over, can't be taken back. You can't reverse it.

 

I hope you can hear me out. Please, try to get help. It's worth it, life. Trust me on this.

I feel like the only way I'm ever going to get peace is to be dead. That or wait fifty fuckin' years until retirement, but I don't have the patience to wait that long.

The fuck? Yeah, get help. Now.

I cannot tell you to not be suicidal, as I would be rather hypocritical. However, I'm feeling no pain, whatsoever, so my case is different. 

All I wish to ask you is this: do you truly, honestly, wish to die? Or do you just want the pain to stop?

I would not be the latter, for example. 

It would help a lot if you explained exactly what it is you feel stressful about, rather than being so vague. We could possibly begin to help, right now. Of course, professional help would be a lot better, but maybe someone here can help you out a bit further than whomever you're referring to has already. 

It would help a lot if you explained exactly what it is you feel stressful about

Work, school, my future... Everything, really. 

Work, school, my future... Everything, really. 

You're 15... why are you even working to begin with? School I personally don't even bother with, lulz. My future isn't happening, anyway, so fuq dat.

I'm not one to give advice, because I'm not exactly "okay" according to most peoples' opinions, anyway. :v 

You're 15... why are you even working to begin with? School I personally don't even bother with, lulz. My future isn't happening, anyway, so fuq dat.

 

I'm not one to give advice, because I'm not exactly "okay" according to most peoples' opinions, anyway. :v 

I work because I need money. I've got to pay off my car, put money into my savings account, etc. I can't just blow off my schoolwork because my parents have high expectations for me and would kill me if I didn't do any schoolwork. 

I personally doubt it...there's been quite a couple of members that proclaimed that they'll suicide, but never had the incentive to leave their friends and family behind. In my opinion, even if there's an ounce of good, it's worth living for. For you, it would be the supportive MLPforums community. It's worth staying for that. In the end, I doubt you'll really commit suicide like the aforementioned members. 

I personally doubt it...there's been quite a couple of members that proclaimed that they'll suicide, but never had the incentive to leave their friends and family behind. In my opinion, even if there's an ounce of good, it's worth living for. For you, it would be the supportive MLPforums community. It's worth staying for that. In the end, I doubt you'll really commit suicide like the aforementioned members. 

Only time will tell.

I work because I need money. I've got to pay off my car, put money into my savings account, etc. I can't just blow off my schoolwork because my parents have high expectations for me and would kill me if I didn't do any schoolwork. 

I've gotten top 95% percentile grades on the state-given tests for my state since I've moved to Amuricuh. The expectations for me are extremely high. However, I don't care, because I am not considerate of others, whatsoever. o; This is why I'm not good at giving advice.

Not to be rude, but does your family or whomever you live with or whatever not have much money? What are you saving up for?

What are you saving up for?

Nothing in particular. Various expenses, I suppose. 

Nothing in particular. Various expenses, I suppose. 

Well then it sounds like you're just putting extra stress on yourself.

you know, I was kinda worried about you because all of the negativity you had, but I thought that it will go away because you are only 15, now I am very worried, and still I don't see REAL reasons why you are so hard on yourself, and worst, why you want to kill yourself. Is this stress coming from your parents?

:u Well then it sounds like you're just putting extra stress on yourself.

Maybe. I'll probably quit in a few weeks, being that this job is the only thing I hate more than myself.

you know, I was kinda worried about you because all of the negativity you had, but I thought that it will go away because you are only 15, now I am very worried, and still I don't see REAL reasons why you are so hard on yourself, and worst, why you want to kill yourself. Is this stress coming from your parents?

The stress is coming from everywhere. I can hardly do anything anymore without feeling stressed about something.

The stress is coming from everywhere. I can hardly do anything anymore without feeling stressed about something.

but it is the stress so overwhelming that you can't take it, you are too young to be life-or-death stressed.

but it is the stress so overwhelming that you can't take it, you are too young to be life-or-death stressed.

I know I shouldn't have this much stress at my age, but I do nonetheless. 

is it bad that I completely agree with you on this topic? I doubt I'll ever summon the courage to end it but I share your viewpoint. I just don't see myself living for to much longer and if I do what would it be for? I'm tired of the daily grind of school, which will turn into college, which will turn into job, and finally a grave. 

To summarize this entire thing, I just have this to say: All I want is some damn peace. While I remain on this earth, that's something I'll never get.

You've given yourself a year, that's progress from you trying to walk off to your demise a few days ago. That shows, in my opinion, that at least you're giving yourself time.

I've had my dark times in the past, times where I could have ended it all, but I didn't. Partially because I was too afraid, partially because I didn't want to hurt my loved ones, but also because I had enough hope in the future to keep me from turning the car on with the garage door closed.

You need to find your own peace...forge it. Reasons to live don't come to you, you need to find them. You're tulpa is one reason, right there. Not to mention your family here, because we genuinely love you.

Plus, you're 15, I'm sure hormones are a big role here, too. Just sayin'.

Fortune favors the brave, especially those brave enough to stay alive in times of struggle. I know this sounds schmaltzy now, but give it time.

Time is all we ask.

If you really wanted to kill yourself, wouldn't you have done it already? Or is there someone/something you want to stay alive for?

If there is, why would you want to leave them/it?

There we go again...I can't say anything that hasn't been said already. Just don't do it.

It's amazing how a lot of the things you write are the same that I would, if I bothered to create a blog, especially about worrying. I'm always afraid of the uncertain future, but I know I'll probably not need to commit suicide because worrying all the time is going to get on my nerves and I'll die without falied attempts this way.

I need to stay away from the forums for a while or I'll become suicidal as well again.

At least you are not planning any death walks anytime soon so that is at least some progress. From the sounds of things you may be going through extreme burnout, I am going through some burnout myself so I can of course understand. Have you considered talking to your parents about this?

You have said that your parents have high expectations of you, it seems like a lot of parents push hard because they think it is the right thing to do for their child to reach their potential but some go a bit too far with it. I don't know your parents but if I had a kid and I found he was saying this kind of stuff I would probably be bawling my eyes out, I was almost in tears when I read about your death walk and I barely even know you.

To summarize this entire thing, I just have this to say: All I want is some damn peace. While I remain on this earth, that's something I'll never get.

Depends on what you consider peace. Nobody truly knows what lies beyond. How can you know that peace is when theres NOTHING. absloute nothing is a hard concept I know. A good analogy is Trying to look through the back of your head you cant see back there in the slightest there ain't shit. not black, not light there just ain't shit... Y kno what I'm not even going to bother with that speech, or anything else for that matter. Just know you're taking the fools way out you're in Last Stand and holding X. My philosophy is DONT GIVE A SHIT. Stress is stress is stress. A pain in the dick. But when you stop giving a shit theres Mountains less of it.

Also you could just have a easy fix chemical imbalance. I was depressed for a few months before i really started working out and taking supplements. turns out I had deficiency's in a few minerals that your brain needs. try some supplements, that helped me. You'd be surprised at the results they get from clinical studies.

Do this for me. Just try taking mineral supplements.  If you dont notice a difference in the way you feel then go right ahead I wont stop you. 

My philosophy is DONT GIVE A SHIT. Stress is stress is stress. A pain in the dick. But when you stop giving a shit theres Mountains less of it.

Do you really think I don't know that? If I could stop giving a shit, I wouldn't be like this! But I can't stop over-thinking everything, no matter how hard I try.