PrymeStriker

Previously on Zorc and Pals... PrymeStriker: I've scheduled a meeting with a board of feminists and that conference room isn't going to bomb itself. Discord: Okay, but only if you fondle my balls while you're down there. Scorpan: yo, deez ponies ain't so bad, I'd smash 'em Tirek: no, daz gey PrymeStriker: It's like 9/11. A pleasant surprise. Twilight Princess Sparkle: Yeah, Celestia, this is your dumbest idea yet. And this is coming from the same genius that thought sending your sister to the moon was a good idea. PrymeStriker: "Tune in soon when we take on, dick first, the season four finale of....My Little Pony.......Friendship..............Friendship......uh.............Something." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So this episode opens up right where Part 1 left off, the princesses are ready to give up their magic before Tirek can reach them and take it from them. However, as you might expect, magic cannot disappear into thin air like black people in the ghetto. It must been transferred into something.....or someone. Yes, Twilight must take on the magic of all the princesses, being the element of magic she is, and then somehow manage not to be fucked over by Tirek all the while not telling her friends about it. I just remembered.........this is my 100th review..........................................................*confetti*. So, anyway, we then discover that getting rid of magic takes away people's cutie marks which......makes no sense, but I digress. When Twilight returns home, she's surging with power and realizes now she has to carry the responsibilities of the other princesses. All the while, Tirek and Discord have arrived in Canterlot in search of the princesses, only to find that their magic is gone. Tirek upon realizing the sexual fantasy possibilities here. While Tirek traps the other princesses in Tartarus and Discord reveals the location of Twilight's library, Twilight tries to get away to learn how to use her new magic without her friends following her around. This, of course, makes them rather suspicious of their friend. No time for that, though. Tirek and Discord have showed up to trap the ponies in Ponyville. Discord displays some interesting regret here, suggesting that he's torn between his two desires, friendship and magic, offering long past due Discord development. This comes just in time for Tirek to betray Discord and take his magic as well. And after he gave Discord a medallion? What, a, DICK! With Tirek at his prime, it's off to find the new princess and her unbelievable power. So we see our main character out in "da hood" practicing teleportation spells. However, since she's got that surge, she rapidly teleports all across Equestria before coincidentally stopping in Tirek's vicinity. Twilight tries to take refuge to her librar- .....HOLY F- .....WHAT THE F- ..........AM I STILL WATCHING MY LITTLE PO- .............So an epic battle ensues between Twilight Sparkle and Tirek, and it seems like Twilight has won at first considering they're both at almost equivalent power. However, Tirek offers up a trade; her friends' survival for the alicorn magic. It seems like Twilight's finally reached the hard decision she's had to face, and it looks like the very person that's going to be affected by it is Discord himself. Now realizing that he wanted both friendship and magic, only to be left with nothing at all, has seen the error of his ways as he apologizes to Fluttershy for betraying her trust. Tirek, on the other hand, has no time for character development and wants an answer now. Ultimately, upon looking out on the bubbles her friends are encased in, and considering her options, Twilight decides to exchange....her friends' lives for the alicorn magic. It is now that Twilight receives her key, and I finally get to use this joke: REEEEEEEEEADINNG RAINBOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I've been waiting six reviews to do that. Okay, now I'm satisfied. So Tirek releases everyone except for Discord, but Twilight demands his freedom. Even after he has betrayed her, Twilight still considers him a friend. Aha, and now Discord's role has been fulfilled and we totally won't see some bullshit episodes of his in season five! TOTALLY! With this, Tirek drains Twilight of the alicorn magic and reaches his ultimate form. His body grew ten sizes that day, and he had a super big boost of confidence. Lucky bastard. Discord, in this time of great urgency, decides to break down and admit his shortcomings and the role he had in this ultimate fate. Therefore, he decides to give Twilight the medallion Tirek gave him back at the castle. This, they deduce, is the key that they need to unlock the chest. Henceforth, they all head back to the tree to unlock the box to find that what it does is.....err....turn everyone into.....something. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, okay, so this is kind of bullshit, but this is essentially the Equestria Girls ending in the MLP universe, but now with less contrived shit to emphasize mediocre writing. So they defeat Tirek with their new god awful hairstyles and save Equestria by returning everyone's magic to them. They even manage to use the box to recreate Twilight's home as a castle. With all this, Twilight discovers that the role she chooses to take as a princess of Equestria is as the Princess of Friendship. It's all down hill from here folks. Why must this show make me vomit so much With both Discord and Twilight figuring out who they're meant to be in the world, the ponies embark on one last piece of shit pop song before we recap all the people who gave our characters their keys. And so concludes "Twilight's Kingdom". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That ending was complete bullshit. The box's powers and Tirek's defeat were all completely contrived due to product placement which didn't help it's rushed pacing at all due to the fact that we just needed a terrible musical number at the end. It's literally the Equestria Girls ending with more plot significance. HOWEVER, this finale feels less like it deserved that ending than Equestria Girls. You see, with the film, it was a steady incline of standard storytelling all the way to a drop-off, and given its self contained nature, had to tell its entire story in that single hour or so only to disappoint by pulling out of its ass, leaving nothing to gain considering not even the characters got a payoff in the end. But that's the beauty of having a show. You can create story arcs and use them to build up your story with the plot and the characters we've been given. We've been working up the arc all season long, and while the box itself was lazily payed off, we still got what we wanted from the finale: a good story. Twilight and Discord both reached their character peaks in this episode. With Discord, he learned the right way to search for both friendship and power. With Twilight, she discovered her self-worth and role as a new princess in Equestria. This way, we still get a great story outside of the deus ex machina ending. And, hey, the status quo was shifted around by giving us new locations to visit next season. Even with all this said, there's other great things about this finale, like the comedy, the GORGEOUS animation, and that epic fight scene. So, in summation, yeah, this finale is not perfect, but it's not bad either. It seems just about right. I'm going to give this episode a 9/10, making "Twilight's Kingdom" a full 8.5/10 overall. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So here's the part where I sum up the whole season overall. Let's dig into this circus: 01. Princess Twilight Sparkle (Part 1) 10/1002. Princess Twilight Sparkle (Part 2) 10/1003. Castle Mane-ia 8/1004. Daring Don't 2/1005. Flight to the Finish 9/1006. Power Ponies 1/1007. Bats! 7/1008. Rarity Takes Manehattan 5/1009. Pinkie Apple Pie 8/1010. Rainbow Falls 1/1011. Three's A Crowd 5/1012. Pinkie Pride 10/1013. Simple Ways 2/1014. Filli Vanilli 1/1015. Twilight Time 7/1016. It Ain't Easy Being Breezies 7/1017. Somepony to Watch Over Me 4/1018. Maud Pie 6/1019. For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils 10/1020. Leap of Faith 7/1021. Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3 10/1022. Trade Ya 5/1023. Inspiration Manifestation 8/1024. Equestria Games 9/1025. Twilight's Kingdom (Part 1) 8/1026. Twilight's Kingdom (Part 2) 9/10 Therefore, my overall rating for season four of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is: 6.5/10 Best episode: "Pinkie Pride" Worst episode: "Rainbow Falls" WOW. How the FUCK did season four manage to PLUNGE from my SECOND favorite season to literally THE WORST SEASON OF THE SHOW? I used to hail this season, but now it's merely one decimal below season three. Age does not treat this show very well I see. There's a lot of problems with this season's output. "Power Ponies", "Rainbow Falls" and "Filli Vanilli" all received a scathing 1/10, something I rarely hand out to anything, with "Daring Don't" and "Simple Ways" just barely dodging the bullet at 2/10s. Then you've got shit like "Somepony to Watch Over Me", "Rarity Takes Manehattan", and "Three's a Crowd" which weren't as sinful but still very flawed. Compare this to the output of episodes I gave FULL marks to. What, the premiere? "Pinkie Pride"? "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils"? "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3"? Is that it?! FIVE perfect episodes to EIGHT shitty episodes? And that's not even counting the in-betweens. All the mediocrity that is "Maud Pie", "Twilight Time", "Bats!" and so forth. I mean, just adding up all the episodes that are below an 8/10, which is my standard for GOOD writing, to everything that's a 7 or below, this is a fucking 11-15 ratio. Far more than HALF the damn season is below average. I did not expect this in the slightest. I used to hold season four to a much higher peg than season one, and to find that it's really worse than both season one and season three? It's so weird. Cause I still feel like its a good season. All those years of season four praise still haunt my opinion now despite the fact that the analysis shows otherwise. Opinions must change, however, so that we may grow. Therefore, I'll come out and say it. Season four is a bad season, just like season three. It had promise, but was ultimately a rollercoaster with very little time to recuperate from the turns. This season contains some of the worst writing in the shows history, and given my opinions on season five when I watched it, it looks like there's no room for improvement. All I can say is: I am disappoint. Alright, everyone, GG. We're at the end of season four and I finally get to take my vacation. I'll see you guys back here on August 14th where we will review the fifth seaso- ... . . . . . .......... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMOTHERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKER

Welcome back to the season four wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Why the Fuck Am I Still Watching This Fucking Show! Here we are. The end of season four, the end of the "what did I think of this episode back when it aired" arc-thingy, and on our 99th review facing the second part of this finale as Review #100. There's a lot to wrap up around here and very little time to do it. I've scheduled a meeting with a board of feminists and that conference room isn't going to bomb itself. What do you think I am, someone with a remote control? Anyways, let's take a look at the last mini-review I made before starting up this blog in August of 2014: .......Hehe..."period". ..Hmm? What's that? People hated this finale? WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS NEW? Everyone in this god-forsaken fandom hates every premiere and finale. I've seriously read a handful of reviews on "Friendship is Magic", "Best Night Ever", "The Return of Harmony", "A Canterlot Wedding", "The Crystal Empire", "Magical Mystery Cure", "Princess Twilight Sparkle", "Twilight's Kingdom", "The Cutie Map", and "The Cutie Re-Mark", all with some brony who hasn't taken their Adderall spastically raging over how they're all the worst premiere/finale in the history of television. And you think I have any right fucking mind to watch these episodes with their complaints at heart? No. I'll watch the fucking thing for my damn self and draw my own conclusions, because I'm an individual with my own mind, and unlike most people, I don't admire everybody in this oh-so high-tier analysis community as gods. That said, gather around, my feeble disciples, as I tell you the ten commandments that is "Twilight's Kingdom" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode opens up in the Crystal Empire, with Spike gloating about how he saved this place and asking everyone else if they remember that. Spoiler alert: Yes, they do remember that, 'cause that was a plot device in the last episode. However, when Rainbow Dash complains about Spike's gloating only for Rarity to sock it back to Rainbow Dash about all the gloating she's done for the past four seasons, I smile in relief as I know this episode was written by someone who gives a fuck. Apparently, the team is on their way to some kind of....ceremony......who cares what the event is. Twilight, on the other hand, is feeling like her status as princess isn't particularly amounting to anything remotely important. And you know what? She's completely right. The only thing she's done all season long as princess was moderate a trade commune. Other than that, her role as princess has been pretty unimportant, which leaves great promise to the rest of the finale to explore where Twilight's princess duties can come into fruition. Seems like, yes, there's quite a bit of promise in this finale. Purple princesses always get the short end of the stick. A boring piece of shit song ensues after Twilight confronts the other princesses on this, where she sings about wanting to make contributions to Equestria. In the number, however, the other princess assure her that her time to play her part will come. My question, however, is that why didn't it come immediately after she was crowned princess. I mean, wasn't there a reason she was crowned princess in the first place? It makes me think that her becoming a princess, while great for the character herself, was ultimately not well thought out by the other princesses. Welp, too late for that, I already gave "Magical Mystery Cure" an 8...or a 7...or something....I don't fucking remember. Meanwhile, later on in the night, Princess Celestia has a dream/vision that some cloaked nigga with an amazing voice named Tirek is out on the loose, and that something must been done. I recommend three way intercourse, but this is a kids show unfortunately. After the commercial break, Princess Celestia explains the origins of Tirek. He came from a distant land with his brother Scorpan to steal Equestrian magic. However, Scorpan pussied out and was like, "yo, deez ponies ain't so bad, I'd smash 'em". When Tirek was like "no daz gey", the Princesses sent him to Hell. Literally. However, he escaped due to the Cerberus leaving his post in Tartarus back in "It's About Time". Damn, that's one hell of a callback. Wouldn't have even imagined that having any impact on anything back when I watched that episode. It's like 9/11. A pleasant surprise. Tirek's been wandering around trying to find the strength he needs to suck Unicorn horn again. Instead of deciding to send Twilight to catch Tirek, Celestia enlists another hitman: Discord. So this finale has Twilight depth and Discord? Fuck me, this is the best finale! You see, Discord can sense an imbalance in magic due to him being....Discord. It's kind of like knowing your about to shoot a super creamy load. But before Discord goes off to masturbate, he pays our band of killjoys a little visit, drawing Twilight's attention to that Harmony Tree box from the premiere, suggesting maybe there's something in there that will help her. He even hands Twilight the journal they've been keeping all season after he's bookmarked "important passages". To me, this screams Discord's trying to tell Twilight something, but since the main characters in this show are stupid, they're not going to realize this until much later. So instead they go to the Castle of the Ass Kissers to see if there's any books on the box's importance, to no avail. All the while, Tirek's power grows ever stronger, just in time for Discord to detect the disturbance in the force and show up to fuck him over. But wait, this is a two-parter, so there's gotta be more than just capturing him, right? You bet your dick-hanging ass there is. Tirek offers Discord a proposition. After he wipes this world of Equestria magic stench, who better to turn the world upside down than Mr. Chaos Emerald himself? Discord is offered a choice of "freedom" over "friendship". "Okay, but only if you fondle my balls while you're down there." While Discord ponders this, Twilight realizes that all the sections Discord has bookmarked are previous episodes where the other five got their keys and overcame some kind of big trial...full with flashbacks and all. Please no "Rainbow Falls", PLEASE NO "RAINBOW FALLS".....................they actually have Pinkie Pie interrupt Rainbow Dash before her flashback can begin. Wow...this IS the greatest finale ever, nodding at that episode's shittiness. Twilight deduces that since the challenges they individually had to overcome helped shaped someone else's direction, the objects they received from those people might have some significance. It's almost like Discord had a point, fucking idiots. So they all bring the items from episodes past to the box, to discover that placing them up on the box transforms the items into the physical keys. How convenient for everyone. Everyone's keys are placed into the box except for Twilight, who has yet to receive hers. All the while, they get some mail from Celestia informing them that Discord's gone rogue, and with his help Tirek has been able to suck not only Unicorn horn, but also fondle Pegasus wings and Earth pony hooves. Once Twilight arrives in Canterlot, the princesses could only come to one conclusion: Rid themselves of their own magic! .................."Yeah, Celestia, this is your dumbest idea yet. And this is coming from the same genius that thought sending your sister to the moon was a good idea." To be...continued. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Uhhemmmem, yeah, okay, this is a good first part. I mean, it's not perfect, but there's setup for some great elements in here. Twilight feeling unsure about her position as princess, Discord's betrayal, the growing strength of Tirek. All of this is some really powerful stuff to move the second part along. However, yeah, there are a few blips in the rough here and there. This does not include the ending, considering I know what Celestia means by "get rid" of our magic as we'll explore in the second part, but rather with some of the stuff in the middle. Sending Discord alone was a poor choice by Celestia considering his reformation was not too long ago. He's very susceptible to being manipulated this early on. She should have had the Elements of Harmony and Discord team up to locate and take down Tirek so that they can keep Discord in check. However, this wouldn't have made for a satisfying finale so early on, now would it? Tying everything up in the second act, nothing would have gotten resolved. So, yeah, I can see why it was necessary for Celestia to make this mistake, but it's a crucial mistake nonetheless given the stakes here. Also, I don't like how the objects can just transform into keys because magic. Everything else, though? Pretty damn good. I think the first part deserves a 8/10 overall. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tune in soon when we take on, dick first, the season four finale of.... My Little Pony... Friendship... Friendship....................... Uh........ Something.

Welcome back to the season four wrap-up of My Little Friendship: Pony is Magic/AIDS! Today, we're taking a look at the penultimate episode before the two-part season finale, Equestria G-...........wait a minute....................okay, no, good, that says "Equestria Games", not "Equestria Girls". *shivers*........ Ooookay...so, this is the episode that finally finishes the Equestria Games arc that we've been building up since the twelfth episode of season three: "Games Ponies Play". Therefore, there's some big shoes to fill. So what did I think of this episode when it first spared? ............................WELL ISN'T THAT REASSURING? This is "Equestria Games". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode opens up with Rainbow Dash on the train to the Crystal Empire with the CMC, Bulk Biceps, Fluttershy, and...some other...random generics, as they prepare for the Equestria Games. Rainbow Dash herself doubts that she, Fluttershy, and Bulk Biceps will be able to beat the Wonderbolts, all the while I have the worst "Rainbow Falls" PTSD that sends me into a cataclysmic spasm. After the "Skip Intro" button sends me into a catacl-...wait...SHIT I used my "Skip Intro" joke too early. FUCK!! *sigh*.....after I skip the intro...we...hold on, I'm not done with the "Rainbow Falls" shit. Rainbow Dash is still competing in the Equestria Games with the lowest common denominators. Just like with "Rainbow Falls", WHYYYY?! It still makes no sense. Also, did Fluttershy just forget her "stage fright" from the fuck-up opus that everyone loves, "Filli Vanilli"? 'Cause the Equestria Games is going to be a big event with lots of people staring at her. Why would she not realize this? Fuck me. Why the fuck do I watch this fucking show? Anyways, once we arrive in the Crystal Empire, Spike is whisked....whipsed....whifflefluffle...whatever the fuck the word is....away by the royal guard to meet with Princesses Cadence and Twilight Sparkle, where he learns he's basically a God in the Crystal Empire for saving the crystal heart. Remember that shitty episode? Me too, I think. "Bringith thy Rarity in so thout may port her legs like the red sea" The princesses tell Spike that they want him to light the torch for the Equestria Games, which he agrees to. However, once he arrives, he realizes he has......st......stage fright. Oh, come on, please, not another "Filli Vanilli". PLEASE. He goes up and due to his fright, is unable to light the torch. Like, physically, he can't generate fire breath. Hmm...that does give reason to why he couldn't just burn the timberwolves in "Spike at Your Service", but it's not like I'm exactly in the mood to remember every shit episode of this show. So Twilight helps him out from her throne all the way in the audience by doing a little magic trick-aroo mcfuckson and, boom, fire! Spike ends up thinking this is because he can light fire with his mind, but Twilight bitchslaps him and puts the little prick in his place. This makes him mope as you might expect, but screw that, it's time for the main event! The relay race, with Fluttershy ignoring all of her redundant character development! How delightful. At the games, a disabling spell is cast on unicorns to prevent cheating, which comes into play later. Otherwise, Ponyvillle ends up coming in second place to the Wonderbolts when I start realizing I don't care about this event. Like, yeah, this something we've been building up to for a season but...almost every episode in the arc was bad. So this is less of an anticlimax and more of what's expected. Except, we've got a Spike story to follow, so, maybe we should direct our attention to that first and foremost. Spike then asks Mrs. Harshwhimmy (I don't care if that's misspelled) to do something else after the faux lighting of the torch. He offers to sing the national anthem instead....of Cloudsdale. See, he thought he was gonna sing the Ponyville anthem, but Ponyville didn't win. So he'll have to sing a song that he's never heard, and has no idea how to sing. Alas, it's a bit too late when he realizes this. Come on, Spike. Sing it with me! "Blame Cloudsdale! / Blame Cloudsdale! / With all their weather hullabaloo / And that bitch Rainbow Dash too!" Right..............actually that song was kind of funny. How did MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC pull off GOOD CRINGE COMEDY?! Have you SEEN their fandom? Christ. After the fuck-up, Spike decides to go into his room and pack before he leaves tomorrow. Huh....so Spike's been built up all episode to be knocked down to size? This......is once again.......another relatively good Spike conflict. I'm genuinely shocked. Later, during the ice archery contest, Twilight goes looking for Spike, but the CMC say he pussied out. So Twilight gets pissed and goes to find Spike so she can whip out the belt. Purple parents are the worst, but purple slave owners? Damn. Talk about a taste of your own medicine. Twilight confronts Spike and tells him that while, yes, those were some slow and embarrassing moments out there, ultimately everything went right for the games, so there's literally no harm in any of this. Purple bitch speaks too soon, though, as one of the ice arrows has shot up into a cloud above and created an ice cloud that's about to fall on the ponies below! ....Okay, a frozen cloud is a genuinely....cool concept. Heheheh...........................God my comedy is going soft. There's no time to cut the disabling spell on the unicorns, and the pegasi can't lift the cloud on their own. There's only one person at the games that can save the lives of thousands! CAPTAIN AMERIC-I mean SPIKE! By hopping on several pegasi, he unleashes his mighty dragon fire breath to melt the cloud of ice. Once this is done, the crowd cheers in glory for his majesty Spike the great. The princesses even come to thank Spike personally for his act of heroism. Lucky bastard. ...................................... .............................................................................................fuck, that's gonna be taken out of context, isn't it? Welp, suck my balls, queers. Spike receives all the praise from his friends and the entire city, and he reacts with a resounding boost of confidence. That is, that's how this episode would've gone if it was written poorly. Instead, Spike receives all the praise from his friends and the entire city, and he reacts with a resounding..."yeah, I guess". He says that it just so happens that he can breathe fire, and that if any of the others could've done something they would've. Twilight realizes that, throughout Spike's story, he's felt like he's let everyone down, but people keep telling him its all good. The only person who's gonna make Spike feel complete in what he's done...is himself. Later, in the journal he writes that all the praise in the world means nothing if you don't feel it in yourself. Holy shit, this........is a really deep moral. How...how did I miss this? Even at 15 I should've had some kind of grasp of these kinds of things, or else I wouldn't have started this review series three months later. I guess this goes to show you how time and maturation can change some things. Err.....Spike? You've got a little...octopus cum on your face. In the end, Spike gets to light the fireworks that close the ceremony. And so concludes "Equestria Games". --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Huh...that was...actually another good Spike episode. I don't know what I was thinking before, but Spike's story is truly the saving grace of this episode. Sure, we get reminded of a bunch of different shit episodes, including Rainbow Falls given its seminal place in both the key arc and the Equestria Games arc. And, yes, this is something that bogs the episode down a little. But in the end, we get this really powerful moral about self fulfillment. Being a musician, this hits right home. I've actually directed people to check out some of my work, and then have them come back and say "Oh wow, this is pretty great. I like [song name]", and felt the chilling bite of realizing that the song they think is so great, is the song I hate the most and feel the most regret for. Their comment of praise for it meant nothing. I knew what was wrong with the damn song, I could hear every mistake, every missed opportunity, every piece of shit moment that made the song unbearable for me. My opinion of my work did not wane just because someone else thought it was amazing. That can be reassuring when it's praise for something your passionate about, but regardless, true fulfillment comes from yourself. So, yeah, like future episode "Canterlot Boutique", this is another moral that hits me right in the nuts. This is a genuinely good episode, and while it might have been an anticlimax for the Equestria Games arc...let's be honest...this arc was going nowhere fast anyway. I'll give "Equestria Games" a 9/10. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Here we are, the season four finale. Come back next week where we take on both parts of "Twilight's Kingdom", and always remember that your family is edible!

Oh yes, far away, but still coming ever closer to "soon". Relatively, if I go on reviewing season five until years end, then season six reviews will begin in 7 more months. It's like waiting for a child...or the genocide of a nation.

Y'know what I just realized? It's time for the SEASON FOUR WRAP UP OF MY LITTLE PENIS: FUCKING IS MAGIC! We're only four episodes to the conclusion of season four! Can you believe it? I can't believe it. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. Can you believe it? And with this comes a few announcements for the "schedule" of future reviews. I intend to wrap up season four by the end of this month on June 30th. Yes, that's two weeks away, which means today we review "Inspiration Manifestation", next week we review "Equestria Games", and on June 30th we'll do both parts of "Twilight's Kingdom". With this in mind, I'm going to take the entire month of July off from doing reviews like I usually do. Except now I'm going to be taking my breaks after I finish one season rather than whenever I feel tired. Keeps shit balanced and what not. Then, on August 14th, we'll come back and take a look at the fifth season, which should go pretty quickly considering I've already reviewed five of its episodes back in 2015. Those episodes were the premiere, finale, "Crusaders of the Lost Fuck-Up" and "Slice of Life", and all five of them will be skipped as a result, leaving just 21 other episodes to review before year's end. So...that's the plan. And if you don't like it.........that's nice. Now, let's get this show on the hoe. This is "Inspirati-"...Oh, right, I have to say "why did I say what I said when it aired?". *ahem*.....What did I think of this episode when it first airsoft? Alrigh- ....BAHAHAHAHAHAA. Ah, that's funny. I actually had HIGH hopes that season five would've been a GOOD season. What a naive little shit I was. Okay, okay, this is "Inspiration Manifestation". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode opens up with, WOW, WHAT A SURPRISING TWIST FOR A PLOT DEVICE, A BIG EVENT. This time it's the "Foal and Filly Fair", which is probably the laziest party concept I've ever heard from this show. It's like they've run out of things for people in this world to care about enough to party over so they just put names with puns and poetic devices in them. Suck my dicks. We cut to Rarity, who claims that even though her audience this time is young, it doesn't mean they don't deserve her best creative work. No truer words have been spoken, except for "Africans are the reason we have AIDS". Apparently Rarity is trying to sell a travelling puppet theater to a travelling puppeteer. But he thinks the cart is shit, which sends Rarity into despair. So did McCarthy realize how shitty "Rainbow Falls" was and was like, "yo, nigga, I'mma check your work on your next episode. You ain't fuckin' up that hard again. Not on my watch. Dumbass."? After the "Skip Intro" button becomes my story editor, we see Rarity in shambles as Spike tries to cheer her up. So he and Owlowicious go to the Castle of the Two Blisters to see if there's a spell that can help her create something in time for the fair, which is about to begin. Inside they find a secret chamber with hot oily sexy Rarity porn a book that can help inspire the creative mind. Ah, so that's how the Rolling Stones are still a band. Too bad their music sucks donkey dick. Right, so this spell gives Rarity the power to zap anything she imagines into creation....kind of like...."Power Ponies"......no no, not another thought about that. Except, this power seems to send Rarity into a devious quest for creation. She goes back to find the puppeteer and give him exactly what he wants; a blowjob! And then after that, she gave him the theater he wanted. "Wow, you even included the stash of weed!" So Spike leaves Rarity alone with the book and goes home. The next day, Rarity has gone into a creation frenzy like a true bible thumper. Her boutique is flowing in fancy dresses and what not as her mind slips into oblivion. She even mentions sprucing up Ponyville a bit, and urges Spike to let her keep the book even longer. Spike, oblivious to Rarity's spell-induced insanity, agrees, and the pair venture out to paint the town. Literally. Cue laugh track, roll the credits, lick my anus. She finds Applejack's apple cart and bedazzles it, suggesting to Spike that they should keep the book as well as her acts of community service a secret between the "three of them". The third person she's referring to is the book. Yeah, I want to slaughter Rarity now too. As Rarity continues doing such grand deeds as giving Rainbow Dash a dress mid-flight and giving Fluttershy's bird a mansion of a birdhouse, Spike starts to realizes that his crush has gone insane. And once she's stated that she won't stop until the entire town has been reformatted in her new image, Spike starts to think...murder's a nice solution. But is stopping Rarity worth the cost of losing her as a friend? ...Yes. But what does my opinion matter? Spike can't bring himself to be blue-balled at a time like this. Spike decides to take the book from her in hopes that it will break its influence on her. However, this proves harder a task than he thought since Rarity's got it safeguarded on her saddle. He uses Owlowiscious as a distraction and finally snags it, but when Rarity beckons him, the only logical thing to do is to swallow the book whole. Ah, yes, indigestion is a wonderful thing. Why, last time I had that was when I shoved those sensitive Russian documents up my ass, and let me tell you, I couldn't shit for like twelve weeks. But even though the book is being boiled in belly acid, Rarity's power grows stronger. Spike realizes the only way to take Rarity off this crazy train is to tell her to fuck off...himself. Ooooooh, are we gonna see some character development between Rarity and Spike's dynamic? ...Yes. But what does my opinion matter? Wait a minute, that wasn't an opinion......FUCK ME. Therefore, Spike tells Rarity the truth: she's become an awful terrible piece of shit-sucking fuckazoid bitch face sparkle whore and she needs to shove her own horn up her own asshole before he does it for her. And we are to recall the final words of the spell: "only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free". Telling Rarity the truth of the matter instead of bullshitting her all this time was indeed the medicine that cured our favorite town prostitute. AVATAR STATE MOTHERFUCKER In the end, Spike learned that being honest with your friends is probably a smarter course of action then just yes-ing them to death. So concludes "Inspiration Manifestation". --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Uuuh, yeah, still a pretty solid episode. The continuing maturation of Spike's dynamic with Rarity from a simple crush to an honest friend has been something that I've said way back in "Secret of My Excess" is one of the stronger arcs in the series, despite it seeding root in a pretty shit episode. This is one of the stories that I had in mind. Having Spike be honest with Rarity and telling her that what she's doing is going way out of line is one of his standout moments as a character. And it happens right here in this episode. There's still some good comedy here and there, though it wasn't the funniest of the whole season like I said when it aired. Perhaps the only complaint I could pose to this episode is that I wish Rarity's breakdown was more...I don't know...natural? As in, I feel like this moral and this episode would've been a lot stronger if Rarity had started going overboard by her own free will rather than the enchantment of a spell. The spell's inclusion made it another one of those times where we know a character isn't showing any real flaws because they're not in control of themselves. This is true here. In that last scene Rarity acts like she doesn't even remember what happened, which is quite disappointing from a storytelling perspectives since Spike gained so much development from it. Despite this...yeah, probably the best Spike episode by far. I'll give this a solid 8/10. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ....Yeah, yeah, you know you saw it coming: Africans are the reason we have AIDS.

Wh ...Really? ...Hmm...I must've been smoking something (likely weed, given that quote is from 4/20), 'cause I always remembered this as a really bad episode. Eh, well, let's see which two evils I go with. This is "Trade Ya". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode opens up with some of the worst exposition I've ever heard. Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, explaining to the other ponies why they're at the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange thing....WHILE THEY'VE JUST ARRIVED BY TRAIN TO THE RAINBOW FALLS TRADERS EXCHANGE. Like, the other four had no idea why they were going to this place? Why did they spend time packing all their luggage to go, then? Just fucking awful exposition. 0/10. As they enter the event...............oh yeah, "triggered 'cuz Ranbaow Fauls is shit episud", there you go.............*ahem*.............they find that Twilight Sparkle has a whole welcoming committee considering she's a special guest. Why, you my ask? Uh, gee, I don't know, maybe because she's A FUCKING PRINCESS? How nice of the show to acknowledge such a pivotal plot-point once more. After the Skip Intro button skips introductions and cuts right to the dirty sex, we see all of our main characters indulging in the festivities. Rarity notes that you can get anything you want here, which is actually true. I went there myself once, in search of a crotchitizer, a syringe full of toothpaste for anal injection, and a chair with seven legs, and there was a whole stand dedicated to those specific items! They even had a combo deal. Buy one chair with seven legs and get three syringes full of toothpaste for anal injection free! That's when I traded my sister off to that pimp, if you can remember that joke from ages ago. Anyways, we finally see Twilight here at her bookstand. "I've got twelve copies of 50 Shades Darker I need to expel." So now it's time for our main characters to split up into groups of two as per course of the writers. Rainbow Dash explains that they have a signed first edition of a Daring Do book out there, and she's gonna get it. Hey, Rainbow Dash. Since we're referencing a bunch of shitty episodes in this story, from "Rainbow Falls" to "Spike at Your Service" and even "Power Ponies"....why are you leaving out "DARING DON'T"?! Don't you fucking KNOW DARING DO PERSONALLY? Can you not ask her to sign any old first edition book yourself? Right, so Rainbow Dash's storyline is already bullshit, therefore Fluttershy decides "I'll just insert myself into this subplot for later use". Meanwhile, Rarity and Applejack decide to pool their stashes since they're both out in search of vintage shit, all the while Pinkie Pie stays with Twilight to help her auction off the books she doesn't want. Okay, so now our stories are set. Let's follow the worst one first: Rainbow Dash. She finds the book she's looking for, but the trader says she does not want Rainbow Dash's rusty horseshoe. She's instead in the market for a blowjob an Orthrus, which one of the other traders has. Ah, I see, so not only is this plotline going to be convoluted from the jump, but it's also going to propel forward through the dullest shit imaginable. Rainbow Dash is going to go from trader to trader getting things for the previous trader to get the trade from the original trader just to get the book. Wash, rinse, repeat. Rainbow Dash stands in horror as she realizes her subplot in this episode is doomed to suck. Let's take our minds off of that, though, and focus on Rarity and Applejack's story. Both ponies happen to have found a super rare "vintage" item that's going to cost all of their collective stuff. As each opposing member examines the other's vintage item, we find that they're both extremely petty things. Applejack wants a rusted pan, and Rarity wants a broach she already owns that's just slightly aged. Both ponies think the other's item is shit, which leads to a clashing of the viewpoints. We'll return to this momentarily, we now have to focus on Twi-.........err..........back to Rainbow Dash's story? Uh.....okay. That's a bit odd. You'd think they'd got through the three subplots in a cyclic manner but....ugh, whatever. The Orthrus guy does not want Rainbow Dash's horseshoe either, but instead wants a new lamp in exchange for the Orthrus. So they go to a stand full of Discord lamps to find that the guy at the stand wants an antique chicken statue, and the antique chicken statue guy wants a crystal chalice, and the crystal chalice girl happens to want a rusty horseshoe. Perfect. So they trade that rusty horseshoe only to find that the chalice instantly breaks upon being touched. Fuck. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie saves Twilight from selling all her books for some kid's broken pen. This proceeds to occur: ...Okay, it's clear to see which subplot is the best. Weanmhile, Applejack and Rarity have practically reversed their positions. Now they're competing to be the "better friend" by letting the other pony get what they want with the stuff they've pooled. This...actually got a little bit of a smile out of me. Not bad. Back to Rainbow's Shit Story. The chicken guy actually wanted a broken chalice for his broken chalice mural, so they trade the chicken to find that the lamp guy is out to lunch. Fuckity shit fuck. Meangirls, Pinkie Pie is exploiting Twilight's princess status to auction the books off. There's this pretty funny joke that got a chuckle out of me where Pinkie Pie says that Twilight was a big fat zero before she was a princess right in her presence. Anyways, back to Reading Rainbow. They finally manage to get all the items through everyone to trade the Orthrus for the book only to find that the bookseller no longer wants an Orthrus. God this Trader's Exchange is contrived. At least when I went you could hold people by gunpoint. Fuckin' pansies. Anyways, when Fluttershy shows her that the Orthrus just needs to be trained, the bookseller decides to give her the book IF Fluttershy stays with her and her house until it's trained. Rainbow Dash...........agrees. ..........Whore. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFActually, you know what I just realized. As much as this part of the episode forces the mediocre moral down the chimney, it's actually a little more believable that Rainbow Dash would do this when you consider they paid extra close attention in the dialogue to make sure the audience realizes that Rainbow Dash doesn't realize what just happened. If you look at her in the moments when this is said, she's almost in a trance. Given last episode focused on her inability to focus, I'm actually less pissed with this part of the episode than I was when it aired. It's still shoddy, but not as shitty. Besides, she realizes she fucked up pretty quick. Menopause, Pinkie Pie has finally set the price too high for the books by noting how valuable they are to Twilight, which sends traders away but makes Twilight appreciate the books more, deciding she doesn't want to get rid of them. So, is the lesson here to hoard your shit? Huh. Too bad the best of the subplots gets a sour ending. Rainbow Dash comes in to interrupt everything by trying to get Twilight to say that the trade between Rainbow Dash and the bookseller was unfair...to which Twilight explains that it unfortunately is. Most people are like "BUT TWILIT THATS UR FRIEND TOO"....and I call bullshit. Yes, Fluttershy is Twilight's friend too, but someone in a position of power needs to be unbiased to make decisions. Twilight would've been accused of bias if she said the trade was unfair. I'm actually more impressed with this trial scene than anything else, despite it being a completely useless 50 seconds in the story that could've been saved if Rainbow Dash had just rejected the offer in the first place. So who ever thought we'd see a purple pony up on that stool, huh? Huhhhh? Hehheheh. I'm a racist! In the end, Rarity and Applejack make up (because their plot got completely sidelined) and everyone learns that friends are more valuable than objects...which you'd have to be a serial killer in order to think otherwise...so this moral's pretty much only for me. Doesn't make it any less shit. So concludes "Trade Ya". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ...EHhhhhhee.eHEH. This episode's kind of off and on. While I have very few complaints with the Twilight/Pinkie and Applejack/Rarity stories, the Rainbow/Fluttershy one was pretty bad. It had a sloppy setup that I've refuted in the beginning of the review, a pretty dull string-along, and an ultimately shoddy resolve. I mean, it wasn't as bad as I remember, but that doesn't mean it wasn't poorly done. The other two were okay and rather good subplots that fell off the end due to the pacing of the episode. Twilight's story ended up virtually promoting hoarding considering Twilight decided to keep books she wanted to get rid of because she had no room for them, and the "Rarijack" plot was ultimately relegated to a running gag that was just "resolved" by the epilogue 'cause they very literally ran out of time. There's some pretty funny moments here and there in the episode, but with all these plots kind of tangling each other up and resulting in a pretty vapid moral, I'd have to say this episode's a bit of a clunker. "Castle Mane-ia" was the better episode in terms of splitting the group into twos. I'll have to give "Trade Ya" a 5/10. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The ethnicity I hate the least is the most recent one.

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3 / Somebody please decapitate me / I need some weed or a nose full of speed / I like big tits.............err...........greed. There, I finally wrote out a poem that's not a haiku and it only took me 77 entries to do so. Now you can all shower me with money and hot naked women. What did I think of this episode when it first aired? ................K. This is "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode opens up with Twilight encouraging Rainbow Dash to study hard for her History of the Wonderbolts exam, which will determine if she qualifies to become a Wonderbolt. She encourages her so much that she decides to tutor her! Err....oookay? I mean, the only difference between this and dancing elephant eels is that the latter is a situation that would actually occur. I don't know many people, even friends, who would jump at the chance to tutor someone else. But, whatever, it's Twilight. After the "Skip Intro" button c-...oh, hey, there's the dancing elephant eels...she begins trying out some methods to help Rainbow Dash learn. They begin with reading and highlighting...which doesn't work because Rainbow Dash highlights everything. So she tries a history lecture, which actually results in a pretty funny scene where...for no fucking reason...Rainbow Dash starts rhythmically creeking on a chair while Owlowicious and Spike respectively toot a melody and play a snare drum. Like, they just fucking come out of nowhere and start doing this. It's fantastic, especially Spike's face. You know, on the MLP Wiki, the caption for this segment is "This is glorious". I have to agree. Look at Spike. He looks like he just fucked all three of the CMC at once. Rainbow Dash gets fed up with this boring shit, though, which prompts Twilight to throw a pop quiz at her. Only when Rainbow Dash fails each question does she realize, "I'm retarded", and panics about learning what she must. She starts blaming Twilight and burns history as a waste of time, which leads to a debate that can only be broken up by none other than...Fluttershy. She suggests that maybe we should try other teaching methods, for instance, a play put on by all the pets. So, Fluttershy also knows the history of the Wonderbolts. Well...she's a Pegasus, maybe they teach that in...Pegasus school. Like how they taught me how to skin humans in church. When this clearly doesn't help Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie shows up to suggest musical intervention as a method of learning and proceeds t- ... No no no NO NO NO NO NO, FUCKING NO NO FUCKITY FUCK FUCKER FUCKTOWN, SON OF A FUCK-SHIT COCKMOUTHED MOTHERFUCKING BITCHMONGER, NOT IN A MILLION CENTURIES ON THIS BRIGHT ASS EARTH, OR IN THE HEAT DEATH OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE IS THAT EVER GOING TO BE OKAY. That's not even remotely amusing. This part is so gimmicky you can just feel the show going "HEUHE, WE'RE FUNNY AND RELEVANT EVERYONE LUV US." I'll take Spike's face over this any day of the year. So, aside from that awful sequence taking place, why does Pinkie Pie know about the Wonderbolts' history? Are they just going to shovel through all the main cast members and pretend like it's normal for everyone to know the Wonderbolts' history by heart EXCEPT for the one pony who needs to know it? .........................For fucks sake, that's exactly what's gonna happen. Alright, points off for this shit. No way in hell is it realistically possible for Rarity and Pinkie Pie to know such convoluted history offhand and not Rainbow Dash, the only pony in the group that gives a flying fuck about the Wonderbolts. In the spirit of Sgt. Pepper's 50th anniversary yesterday, here's a good analogy. Me being the only person in my circle of friends that gives a shit about the Beatles (which is true, but I digress), but everyone else is able to name every song they ever recorded on every album they've ever released and can recount their entire history on command except for me. Does that make any lick of sense? Nope. SO RARITY takes Rainbow Dash back to her boutique to display a fashion show regarding the Wonderbolts history...which freaks Rainbow Dash out for some reason. Applejack is there in easily the best scene in this whole episode. First, she slights Rarity off hand by stating "this fashion show nonsense wouldn't help me learn nothing either". We subsequently see Rarity display this face without any of that cheezy tuba musical cue that tells the audience to laugh, and so it just comes off as this deadpan burn which is hilarious. So Rainbow Dash eggs Applejack for a study technique, to which she replies, "who me? Oh, I got nothing." This almost saves the convolution of before considering there's at least one pony in the group that doesn't know jack shit about the Wonderbolts. Finally, when Applejack asks how much time she has to learn all this, and Rainbow Dash states that she has 12 hours, Applejack goes: "Ah, then you're up a creek" and walks off screen. This interaction is fine art. Applejack joins Spike's face in the Hall of Fame. Finally, Rainbow Dash gets overwhelmed and depressed and storms off, saying she'll never pass the test and that she's too dumb to learn anything. FINALLY, RAINBOW DASH ADMITS HER STUPIDI-*ahem*, I mean...those points I took off? They're slowly getting earned back with every passing minute succeeding Pinkie Pie's bullshit. This is one of the deeper looks into Rainbow Dash's character, as I'll talk a little more about later. As she flies, we see Rainbow Dash as she takes note of very minute things, and saves Twilight from an attacking helicopter while the two are talking. That's when Twilight realizes Rainbow Dash's learning curve and comes up with a plan. After she take her on one last flight, Rainbow Dash realizes that she's learned the entire history of the Wonderbolts. How? By planting subliminal messages like illuminiggas on the ground below while they were flying, Rainbow Dash took note of every minute thing like she did before. They had costumes, buzzwords, and big signs just like the feminist rallies, and it all worked! Rainbow Dash knew fuckin' everything! Rainbow Dash finally learned the history of the Wonderbolts, but taught Twilight an important lesson about individual learning methods. Dash, of course, scores a 100%. Cue 80's music and roll credits to the moon. GOTTA HAVE A MONTAGE. So concludes "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ........Nice. Yeah, aside from that blip in the middle with the awful Pinkie Pie rapping and the convolution of everyone except for Applejack and Rainbow Dash knowing the Wonderbolts' history, this was a pretty amazing episode. I must not have been paying enough attention when I first watched this. Rainbow Dash has some incredible depth in this episode into what I can only assume is her own form of ADHD. We see a character struggle with learning things both the traditional and unconventional ways, which results in Rainbow Dash calling herself a stupid loser with no future. Pretty powerful shit if you ask me, which makes the look on her face when she finally learns what she needs to learn all the more rewarding. We also get a great moral/fuck you to American school systems in this episode. No one way of learning is going to work on everyone. Individualized approaches are the way to go, which is something that has enormous real-world applicability. To ice this bitch of a cake, we have two great moments of comedy that had me fuckin' rolling; Spike's face and Applejack's scene. All of these are some pretty great reasons to love this episode, so much to the point that I can even overlook those two minutes in the middle that had me pretty pissed. Yeah...fuck it, I think "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3" deserves a solid 10/10. Been a while since I've given one of those...............wait a minute, no it's not...I gave a 10/10 two episodes ago. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I manufacture AIDS.

Just before we begin, I'd like some props for this episode literally being 4x20 without me making any Applejack eats celery/smokes weed jokes....................................... ...mostly because there were no opportunities to do so. Anyways, blazeit: Really now? Well, if "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" is any indication, then maybe this season can save itself after all. ....wait a minute, I just remembered something. Josh Haber wrote this episode. You know Josh Haber's last episode was? Simple FUCKING WAYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND just like that, my confidence in this episode's quality has dropped substantially. Let's crack into "Leap of Faith". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode opens up with Big Mac and Applejack in a pond splashing water at each other in what I think is the shittiest animation the whole series up to this point. It looks like a fucking toy commercial it's so bad. What a great start. At this rate, next scene will involve Rainbow Dash getting syphilis. Wait a second, that's not a good allegory, 'cause that would actually please me. Everyone tries to encourage Granny Smith to get in the pond with them, but she goes on a long-winded explanation about why she's afraid of water. After the "Skip Intro" button blows me some minty-fresh fellatio, the Apple Family notice a bunch of sick and hurt people walking in unison like a band of zombies to a circus tent. You just can't make this shit up. When they go to investigate they se- e-...ee-e......... .................Right, BRB. HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S THE FlIM FLAM BROTHERS YASSSSSSSSSSS GURL YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS *ahem*. Alright, I'm good now. Err, they proceed to sing a rip off of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy song, now trying to pawn off their magical sickness cure tonic. As it "appears" to work on some members of the audience, Granny Smith is sold and decides to buy the tonic so she can regain her youth again. Applejack remains skeptical, but the old hag certainly gains a few springs back in her step after she downs the shit, even to the point of being able to swim again. Hey, how handy! This only makes Applejack more skeptical as she and Apple Bloom try to figure out what's actually in that elixir from the depths of Hell. When they arrive, they find one of the same ponies that were cured in the first show...pretending to be cured a second time. Logically, Applejack and Apple Bloom chase this fucker down until they learn his name: Silver Shill. Wow, what a standout name that doesn't sound like any other character's name in the show ever. They discover that he's part of the act, and follow him right to Flim and Flam themselves. Applejack confronts them about their bullshit, but explain to Applejack that even if their potion were just a mixture of apples and beet leaves, this tonic is making Granny Smith feel better. So, basically they say, "what's the big fuckin' deal, bitch?" Applejack contemplates her existence while Apple Bloom watches porn for the first time on the big flatscreen TV to the left of Applejack. Back at the pond, Apple Bloom asks Granny Smith to help her compete in an aquabatics competition...'cause...y'know...that's been Apple Bloom's dream this whole series. Therefore, in order to compete, she buys the Flim Flam Brothers' entire case of elixir. When people start asking Applejack if it really works, and she replies that it seems to work for Granny Smith, everyone is instantly prepared to chuck all their money at the Flimmerfloosels. Why is this important? The Flock'o'Fuck Bros. turn Applejack into the poster-child sponsor for the syrup, which in the event that the tonic doesn't work for other people, means the whole town will totally turn on her and burn her alive until she's a nice, crispy lunch dish at Apple Bloom's school. Later, at the aquabatics competition, everything goes off...without a hitch surprisingly. This even promotes the Super Mario Bros. to make the Apple family the official spokespersons for their tonic. Applejack, however, is not putting up with any of their crap. There's no time for Harplejarkle to kick Superior Mario Sibling ass today, though, because Granny Smith has gained enough confidence to do a legendary dive! Awwww HELL yeah we're gonna see some pony blood TODAY! Granny Dipshit takes one last sip of the potion before jumping to her doom, but not before Applejack lasso's her ass and saves her life. Son of a bitch! I wanted to see some gory gut-busting explosion shit this morning! A nice beating heart stew on the grass below where the ants can build their next mound. Can you imagine it?! Those little fuckers creating a network of tunnels through Granny's tangled intestines. It would've been amazing! And Applejack just had to go and ruin it! What a sick, evil, twisted bastard she is. She should be annihilated! Eviscerated! Turned into apple cider and sold on the black market in exchange for foreign child slaves! Then we'd see some real action in this fuckin' country. Goddammit Applejack, ya ruined everything! ... Oh, and this is a key episode apparently. REEEADING RAINBO-...wait, I should save that one for Twilight's key. That'll be funnier. Applejack fesses up to the crowds, exposing the Flavor Flav potions as a fake! This of course, prompts the whole town to accuse Applejack of lying...which she admits to. Sorry......what? She...didn't lie. At all. The only thing she ever said was "it seems to work for Granny", which were TRUE STATEMENTS by her account. Anyone with vision could see that it seems to work for Granny Smith. That doesn't mean it fucking does. Everyone else made that conclusion. Therefore, it's the townspeople's fault for jumping the goddamn gun. Of course, this doesn't make for very good PR. So Applejack goes the whole sentimental route of "hoping to gain the public's trust once again" like some kind of celebrity Twitter apology, and Silver Shill ultimately fesses up and admits to this all being bullshit. Then he gives Applejack some money...which is about the sorriest fucking excuse for a key yet. Also, I like how all the other ponies had their keys given to them by characters that at least had some spotlight in this episode while Applejack gets this side character that had all of two scenes of screentime. GG, now it's time to indulge the journal. Oh my GOD that looks genuinely retarded. So Applejack learns that having others believe a lie is about as stupid as that picture up above, and thus concludes "Leap of Faith". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...Eh. There's some pretty good things about this episode. The conflict of having Applejack choose between being honest with the public and maintaining her family's happiness is certainly an interesting one. We see Applejack deal with two things that make up her character; her loyalty to her family and her honesty, clashing directly against each other in a way we haven't seen before. That's very nice and all, and would've made for a "well-written episode" like I mentioned above if the last four minutes didn't take a nosedive. It's no Equestria Girls leap, but the fact that she admitted to lying when by all accounts she technically didn't, and that this ended up being the lesson taught in the end...it's shaky at best. Even the Flim Flam Brothers weren't that interesting in this episode, basically just retreading their ground from "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000". Ultimately, "Leap of Faith" is an okay episode with some okay writing. Nothing special, though, by far. I'll give this episode a 7/10. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- America is a systemically oppressed country.

I like that one video about the faggots.

What did I episode of this think when aired it first? Really now? Hmmmmmm.....those are some big shoes to fill. Well, let's see how time can fuck things up. This is "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode opens up with Sweetie Belle waiting on Rarity to overview the costumes she made for her school play. However, Rarity is far too busy trying to perfect the dresses for one of Sapphire Shores' orders...'cause...err...remember her from season one? Once she remembers that the opening night for her sister's play is tomorrow, Rarity shits a brick. Speaking of defecating pavement blocks, after the "Skip Intro" button makes me pass a rectangular prism of cement through my bowels and out my rectum, we see that it is indeed premiere night and Rarity is not present with the costumes. Sweetie Belle fears her sister will let her down "again" until she finally shows up...to let her down "again". You see, Sweetie Belle is unimpressed with the modifications Rarity made to Sweetie Belle's dress, but the show must go on as they say in the concentration camps. ......You know what? I agree. Those dresses look like sidewinder vomit. Alas, all the ponies that attended the school play......which are all adults for some reason...............pedophiles....................................are just flustered over the play and...the superior craftsmanship of the dresses from the pits of Hell. Sweetie Belle, as a result, becomes rather infuriated that her sister upstaged her..."again". You see, Sweetie Bell wrote, directed, and starred in this play, and yet all anyone can talk about is how amazing Rarity's dresses are. Right....so.........do these ponies have dayjobs or was there nothing better to do on a Tuesday or whatever than to watch this school play? I mean, it's just the fucking Cutie Mark Crusaders but half the town showed up, and the last time the CMC dealt with adults was during that whole...Gabby Gums shit. So, where were we? Ah, right, the pedophiles who came to the show didn't care about anything but those sexy dresses the CMC were wearing. Sweetie Belle, being the ARTEESTSTS that she is, gets pissed off her tampon and goes to yell at Rarity for taking all the glory out of her big night, and with so little effort. Sweetie Belle says this is just like her fifth birthday party, with the lapdancing Vietnamese whore and that one guy who sold crack to all of her friends, with her father criticizing her for having two nostrils instead of one like he does, and her sister trying to jam her dick into Little Tommy's naval...........oh, wait, sorry, that was my fifth birthday party. "And you didn't even give Little Tommy any cab fare. Slut." That night, Sweetie Belle finds it hard to sleep believing her sister sabotaged her play on purpose. Therefore, after she takes out a lace in the dresses for Sapphire Shores that practically ruins the structure of them all....she finds it much easier to sleep now. I don't care what anyone says, that's a genuinely funny scenario. All of a sudden, Sweetie Belle starts to have dreams. OooooOOOooh. Dreams about winning a Grammy for her play, until Rarity comes along as a giant storm-cloud here to literally rain on her parade. "Comedy". Not to fear, though, 'cause here comes Princess Luna to save the day....creepin' in on children's dreams again.....yay. That said, I'm genuinely pleased to see Luna, but you know what I just realized? Princess Luna, through seasons three, four, and five, have appeared in one of the CMC's dreams to overcome a real-world problem. For Scootaloo, in the very concluded "Sleepless in Ponyville", Sweetie Belle here, and later Apple Bloom in "Bloom and Gloom". Seeing as I'm not very far into season six right now, I wonder if that was building up to something, or if it was just a little running gag. Anyways, Sweetie Belle realizes she's dreaming, and opens up to the Princess about her big sister problems. This is where Luna talks about how she's able to relate to Sweetie Belle, having an overshadowing big sister of her own, and therefore has struggled with doing the right thing in the past. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH this episode scored major points. Meanwhile, flashback to....the fifth birthday party. "I had type 100 diabetes back then." Sweetie Belle explains that she had it all planned out: she was going to make a grand entrance as her friends waited for her downstairs. It was going to be perfect! Then, everything changed when the fire nation-I mean, Rarity, stole the spotlight with party favors and cake. One of her "friends" even says out loud, "who needs the party girl when you have the party girl's amazing sister". What....a...BITCH. I say we castrate her and send her into the pits of the damned, forever to blaze in a thousand years of grotesque Korean men gobbing her genitals like Tasmanian hog-monkeys. WHO'S WITH ME?! .............Right, just me and my own middle finger. As usual. Alright, so after this, Princess Luna suggests that maybe there's more to this story than meets the testicle. She time warps back to about 5 minutes earlier where we see her friends bored waiting for her. Then, we learn that Rarity was trying to saves Draft* Sweetie Belle's party by giving the guests party favors and cake. There's a part of me that wants to make a "Rarity's a prostitute, so party favors are party favors" joke, but...wait, nevermind, I just made it. There you go. Sweetie Belle considers that maybe her sister isn't a piece of shit, and to twist the knife around a bit more, Luna suggests that she take a look and see what could happen now that she's sabotaged Rarity's headdresses. Basically, it descends into this super grim imagery where Rarity goes fucking insane to the point of not designing dresses anymore. This is your brain on drugs. Any more questions? After this, Sweetie Belle wakes up in horror, and tries to rectify this situation. Except, it appears that Rarity's already disappeared to Canterlot to show Sapphire Shores the headdresses. So she gathers her friends...for some reason...and it's off to Canterlot to save Rarity's life! A hilarious showtunes joke is made on that train. But who cares, the succeeding scenes involve the CMC swinging across tightrope through a door to stop Rarity from descending into darkness! And wouldn't you know it, they do it! They get in there, steal the box, and fly around the building like a bunch of maniacs, distracting Rarity long enough for Sweetie Belle and Luna to fix the stitching of the headdress. After Sweetie Belle explains the whole situation to Rarity, because...you know...of course...they bring the headdress to Sapphire Shores together. And wouldn't you know it, she loves it! Cue sisterly blah. .....................Blah. So concludes "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Um....yeah, this episode is pretty much fucking awesome. First of all, the plot is actually a good one on its own. Little sister feeling overshadowed by her big sister and what not. This for Sweetie Belle and Rarity actually turns out some great dynamic, so that's a passing grade right there. Now, that plot could've just worked out well on its own, but they added Princess Luna to the mix. This made things infinitely more interesting, because given Princess Luna's backstory and trials across the first two seasons, we know that she has a long history of trying to live out of her sister's shadow. The fact that she as a character in and of herself was able to overcome this, and that she's able to apply that here and actually help develop Sweetie Belle, is bringing it all full circle. That's a beautiful thing and a damn good piece of overarching storytelling, but catch this. They also added dream elements to this, 'cause Princess Luna's here. And, way much more so than "Sleepless in Ponyville", do we see how far the dream montages can go. It's not full-throttle pink elephant drug trip stuff, but there's some pretty heavy imagery going on here. For instance, when Princess Luna stomps her hoof and she and Sweetie Belle stand motionless while the sound effects and animation make you feel like you're hurdling through time at the speed of light, or the "Rarity's Mental Breakdown" montage. All are some excellent visuals and some pretty heavy imagery juxtaposed to Sweetie Belle's psyche during the episode. It's really quite gripping. Sprinkle in some great comedy with a good moral, and you have the makings for one of the heights of season four. I haven't felt so enthused of an MLP episode in a long ass time, and "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" brought it all back home. As a simply divine episode, I'm giving this story a solid 10/10. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Why are Europeans not classified as bacteria?

Praise the day chopped sperm tail medley was invented as a dish. Let's see what my opinions were on this episode when it first aired: ........Well, I've not written such thrilling, well-thought out reviews with my classic stamp of comedy since "Simple Ways". Let's dive into "Maud Pie". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode begins with all the ponies arriving at Pinkie Pie's....................anonymous building I don't think we've ever seen before...............where she implores them to taste test a bunch of rock candy that she's forged for the arrival of her sister, presumably the titular character of this episode, Super Mario. After the "Skip Intro" button makes me wanna fuck a leech...in a good way...we learn that the candy is not only for Maud, but also for the rest of them so that they can all make rock candy necklaces together. I remember when I met my good friend Ted Bundy near the lava pits of Dis, and we made friendship necklaces. They were eyeball necklaces, but friendship necklaces nonetheless. Therefore, I can sympathize with the premise. Pinkie Pie assumes that she, her sister, and her friends will all become the best-est of best-ish friends, and proceeds to pick Maud up from the train station while the other five nigglets set up a picnic for the lot. Everyone's quite nervous to hit it off with Maud for Pinkie Pie's sake, but when Maud finally arrives...slowly walking over the hilly brush...the ponies learn that she's basically a monotonous bore to contrast with Pinkie Pie. And we fucking love it, don't we folks? "This rock is the exact size and shape of my last kidney stone." When the other five ponies try to make conversation with Maud Pie, we learn that Maud's behavior is liken to that of someone with a severe case of......oh, how do I put this in the most politically correct terms.............Assburger's Sydrome. This makes for some great comedic moments coupled with the dull delivery of her lines and the way the animators tackle her facial expressions, like when she says that the game of Camouflage is "like Hide and Seek but way more intense", they lift up her eyelids to accentuate the extensive "way", but in a very sloth-like manner to the point where they don't even bulge like you would expect. This episode is full of halfway anti-jokes like that, and we fucking love it, don't we folks? So after a fruitless game of Camouflage, Pinkie Pie takes Maud back to her house to try the rock candy they're going to use to engage in incestuous intercourse make their friendship necklaces. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND here's the problem with this episode. Pinkie Pie's insistence that her friends become best friends with her sister when they lot of them clearly have nothing in common is ridiculous. You can't force anyone to be friends with someone else, especially when their interests so obviously divide to great distances. This concept is pushed to more ridiculous and plot-crippling extremes in season five, but this is the first time chronologically in the show that I'm noticing it. Therefore, the five dumbcocks deduce that the best course of actions is for each of them to try to befriend Maud one at a time rather than all at once. First up is Rarity, where Maud insists on crafting a scarf out of a dishtowel. Ahahah......heh..............*ahem*...................................... Maud and Pinkie Pie while watching the ever-thrilling film adaption of "Fifty Shades of Grey". Next is Fluttershy, where Maud dismisses interest in animals in favor of rocks. Aha..........................................................*coughs blood*. Y'know, I remember finding this episode absolutely hilarious because of Maud's dull delivery. What happened? I clearly didn't outgrow deadpan humor. Kyle Eschen videos still make me jizz blue slurry. Even the more recent "The Gift of Maud Pie" episode made me laugh a lot harder than this one currently is. Err.....I mean........Maud Pie, don't we...fucking love it, folks? Well, let's see. The episode isn't over. Even "The Maud of Gift Pie" didn't have me completely rolling on the floor until the end of the second act. This is only the first half. Let's continue with the Maudening of the friends. At Twilight's, Maud recites a poem about rocks: "Rock. You are a rock. Grey, you are grey. Like a rock, which you are, rock...................I've written thousands". Meh, that joke was pretty good. With Applejack, we see Maud peeling apples by completely obliterating them with rocks. Okay, that was also pretty good. Finally, with Rainbow Dash, we see her and Maud participating in a rock-throwing contest. When Rainbow Dash manages to throw a moderately-sized rock across the pond, Maud shows her up by throwing a rock way over the hills of Ponyville, where it lands off in the horizon, causing a massive explosion that sends ripples through the air and blows almost the entire pond on to Rainbow Dash. ...Ah, there we go, I actually laughed. About fucking time. Remember when we used to drop those on Japan? That was fun. Back at Pinkie Pie's, once everyone's realized that they don't have anything worth sharing with Maud, they finally break down and admit to Pinkie Pie that it may be impossible for them and her sister to become friends. Finally, someone fucking says something. This obviously disappoints Pinkie Pie, but if I'm perfectly honest, I couldn't give less than one rat's molten ass. Pinkie Pie has gone full retard if she thought she could force people to become friends with each other. I feel like she learned this before, though, about not trying to force friendships. Oh wait, she DID. In "A Friend in Deed", when she tried to get Cranky Doodle Donkey to be her friend. If she learns this same lesson by the end of it all, we can add this to the list of season four rehash morals. Well, let's see if I'll be brushing my teeth with cyanide juice tonight. After Pinkie Pie's fit of disappointment in not being able to bring everyone closer together, she decides on one super-activity that will bring everyone closer together. An obstacle/puzzle course called "PinkieRainbowRariTwiAppleFlutterMaudSuperCaliFragilisticExpiAliDociousMegaUltraQuasigenderFuckazoidTicktardNigerianAIDS-SandwichKikeDoodlePantsFunTime". This insane course of epic proportions includes an applesauce tunnel for Applejack, glitter fabric for Rarity, running through books for Twilight, "critter time" for Fluttershy (yikes), a cupcake dome for Pinkie Pie, a rockslide for Maud, and it all being a race is for Rainbow Dash. The other stuff is all represented by the word "gay" written on a big billboard. I smell a vomit coming on. The others show concern for the safety of participating in this clusterfuck of fuck-all, so Pinkie Pie demonstrates how each task is done. Except, when she gets her leg caught in the rock slide and the whole thing starts to fall apart, Maud super-runs to the rescue and basically digs the biggest boulder in the rockslide into dust with her own hooves........sorry, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? This insane ability of Maud's comes out of left field without the slightest of explanation other than "duhhhhhhh sister love lul sing me a Frozen song". After that clusterfuck, Maud basically says "this is bullshit, I don't have anything in common with these ponies, screw you guys, I'm going home". Just when you wish that was the end of the episode, Twilight deduces that they all have one special thing in common with Maud that only the closest of friends could share...........their love for Pinkie Pie? Ah yes, of course. You see, if you're best friends with ya nigga, and yo nigga has a brother who's very close to ye nigga but he's a serial killing rape murderer, that makes you super ultra best friends with that person because you both love yi nigga a lot. BULL. TOTAL BULL. And of course, when Maud is asked if she agrees with this sentiment, she breaks into emotional whimsy and spouts out.............."Sure". ....................................................................Alright, that made me laugh pretty hard, especially given the ridiculousness of the "resolve" up to that point. In the end, Maud receives all the many friendship candy necklaces, and puts them all in a box with all the other necklaces Pinkie Pie's made. As Maud explains, she doesn't like candy. "Heathen. Away with your head. Put her in the chamber with the hounds where she can rot in a thousand days of the torturous removal of the flesh from her bones. Candy reigns supreme says the Princess of Friendship!" And so concludes "Maud Pie"..............................................wait a minute, what the fuck was the moral of that? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looks like yet another polarizing episode. "Maud Pie" has some good comedy in it, though a lot of it is rather hit or miss compared to future Maud appearances. This aspect surprised me given how much I remember liking Maud. And I do, as a character, she is quite the antithesis of this show's colorful cast of smiley fucks. Her dynamic with Pinkie Pie, especially that scene on the train where they share just one-on-one dialogue, is certainly interesting. It's just that I guess I expected to laugh more like I've done with Maud before, and that just didn't happen this time. Maybe that's for the better, because it allowed me to see this episode's somewhat flawed storytelling. Now, granted, there's nothing wrong with the pacing or anything wrong with the way the story is told, it's just these key elements that drive me up the wall: the premise and the moral. Pinkie Pie trying to force her friends to become best friends with her sister is a stupid premise because 1) It's a goal that becomes rather annoying and grating after a while given we know these ponies aren't getting along, and 2) because Pinkie Pie learned not to force friendships before. I'm being a little lenient on how many points this flaw deducts, though, because there's admittedly one thing that makes this episode different from the likes of "A Friend in Deed". In that episode, Pinkie Pie was trying to force a friendship between herself and a stranger. Here, she's trying to force a friendship between two parties that she knows very personally and assumed would get along well. I can believe that Pinkie Pie would want her friends to become friends with a relative because I can believe someone would want this in real life. Usually, though, people in real life realize when it's not gonna happen, which brings me to the moral, or lack thereof. What the hell is this episode trying to teach? That if you and a stranger have a mutual friend or otherwise strong bond with the same person, you should accept that stranger as your own friend despite whether or not you two get along? Maybe that would work when you two have to share time with the mutual friend, but not when trying to click on a one-on-one basis. This episode, to my memory, is the first of a handful of episodes moving forward, both in this season and most prominently in the next, where we see our characters trying to push off friendship as an abide-by-or-die practice. It only gets worse from here. So, what about this episode? Were the flaws of the storytelling matched or outweighed by Maud's characterization or her dynamic with Pinkie Pie? I think they both share equal footing, honestly. The positives in this episode are just as valid as the negatives. I think I'll give "Maud Pie" a 6/10 overall. And...yeah...Maud isn't quite awesome just yet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All I want for Christmas is a Pakistani pair of boob legs.

I haven't as of right now, but as luck may have it, I intend on catching up on a few episodes tonight.

Not to worry, you can count on me to destroy future fuckmonger shitazoid episodes hopefully cooked to your order! But if I must... *ahem* "FUCK APPLEJACK AND HER TARDCAKE PORTRAYAL IN THIS PIECE OF ASSMUNCHING DICKSLICING INFECTED PUBE OF AN EPISODE!!!" Better?

Ah, right, so...why wasn't there a review last week.......hmmmmmmm..... ...College applications? Yeah, that's a good excuse. I'll go with that. College applications. Right, so, let's take a look at my opinions on this episode back when it first aired: ......................... The fuck? ...............I didn't post anything about "Somepony to Watch Over Me" when it aired? .......................................................................Oooooh boy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So this episode opens up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders waiting outside a door in the Apple Family Household, on the verge of hearing a "decision" from the other Apples that will change Apple Bloom's life "forever". Ah, yes, I remember waiting outside the doors of my parents bedroom at the ripe age of four, desperately awaiting their decision as to whether they were going to cut my dick off and feed it to my brothers and sisters. It was an unpleasant meal, but vengeance is sweet. Luckily, Apple Bloom does not have to endure a spay and instead receives the okay from her superiors to...le gasp...stay home alone! Yipeehoorraaayadoodle! After the "Skip Intro" button cures cancer, we see Applejack and Big Mac filling a cart full of apple pies for delivery, which makes me hungry for a pizza. I must resist the urge of delicious anchovies and minced rectum plasma in a stuffed crust. Before they all head off, Applejack hands Apple Bloom a list of instructions for when she's human basically doing any little small task that an infant learns before being pushed out of the womb. As Applejack heads off on her quest, she worries about Apple Bloom's ability to take care of herself on her own. Right....because letting her roam around Ponyville and through the Everfree Forest is perfectly safe, but staying home is a life-threatening experience. Blow me. Big Mac had no time for any of Applejack's crap. Alas, Applejack goes back to check on Apple Bloom, who's just finished all of Applejack's inane chores. When Applejack gives Apple Bloom a jumpscare and causes her to make a small mess in the kitchen, Applejack decides that she's not going anywhere! You know what I just realized? I kinda hate Applejack in this episode. Like, I'm not going to criticize her for taking the Twilight approach to over-obsessive panic, although that's a legitimate complaint this episode has earned, but rather for two much simpler reasons: 1) Applejack's behavior is imbecilic given all the things Apple Bloom is allowed to do as I've mentioned before. Not only for the "continuity errors" if you can even call them that, but for the fact that she's abandoning her delivery and therefore her paycheck for aimless indulgence. 2) This is the same plotline from "Bridle Gossip", a much shittier episode. It's with season four that we start seeing these rehashed storylines that involve the main characters learning the same lessons they did in the previous three seasons. We saw this in "Rainbow Falls", "Filli Vanilli", and we're also seeing it here. Applejack learned in "Bridle Gossip" not to treat her little sister like a vegetable that can't take care of herself, and we're retreading the same grounds except now it's even moreso the main focus of the episode. Anyways, point is, because Applejack's had to go through this bullshit arc before, her revamping it here is tired and adds to the dis-likability (if that's even a fucking word) of her portrayal. So, as you might imagine, big sister is watching. "The New World Order is soon upon us." Applejack's manic-obsessive protectiveness goes to intense extremes, like having Apple Bloom wear a helmet, putting pillows over anything that's sharp, making Apple Bloom wear a helmet, putting plastic clingwrap on everything, and forcing Apple Bloom to wear two helmets. My tolerance of Applejack has graduated from hate to pure annoyance. My advice to Apple Bloom is to find the nearest turret and let a rip on her ass. In times of desperation, Apple Bloom calls upon her Cutie Mark Crusader pals to help her figure a way out of this mess. Scootaloo cracks the code: she and Sweetie Belle take turns pretending to be Apple Bloom in bed sleeping, while the real Bapple Loom goes out and delivers that cart of pies to their destination. That way, she can prove to Applejack that she doesn't need her watching over her. It's so brilliant, they start to break out into SONG! ............Alright, this is one of the funniest things in the fourth season. Hence, the escape plan is hatched, and all goes according to plot for a little while. But when Scootaloo blows their cover by shouting in glee when Applejack admits maybe she's going overboard, the latter retard goes into full down syndrome mode and runs around the room in panic searching for Apple Bloom. This panic, in fact, is warranted, since the delivery route includes wandering through a forest with a dangerous...tiger...snake...thing....in it. Is there not a safer route to this fucking location? I mean, even Happytown Hell has a scenic route. It's a scenic route of mangled brains hanging off of chains, but a scenic route nonetheless. As this tigersnakegoat thing attempts to eat Apple Bloom...she realizes she's in over her head and tries to escape this deadly forest. However, she turns around to go back for the pie cart. Apple Bloom is a retard confirmed. Therefore, she eventually gets cornered by the superhappyfuntimetigersnakegoat, and on the verge of death, is saved by Applejack just in time. Applejack swoops in with fire-retardant boots and weapons of mass destruction like a chair and a snake charmer. Brings a whole new meaning to being sentenced to the chair. HUEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEHE At the end of it all, Applejack lectures her sister about not being able to handle shit herself, until Apple Bloom shows her that she kept the cart safe. And only now does Applejack realize, "maybe I should stop babying other living creatures?" If only she'd also realized "maybe I should kill myself?". That would make my Christmas. Right, so after all this shit, we finally get to the very predictable conclusion that, yeah, Apple Bloom can take care of herself........for the second time. Admitting that she got "a little carried away" with annoying the hell out of me for 22 minutes, the two sisters make up and descend into fanfic territory. In the end, they make the delivery to the swamp hillbillies (which is also pretty amusing), and the rest is history. There's not even time for a journal entry in this episode. Whoopty-fucking-do. Not pictured: cup with Applejack's shit in it. So concludes "Somepony to Watch Over Me". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That song section was funny as all Hell and I'm glad that it's a thing that exists in this show... ...but the rest of this episode was pretty crap. Now, I say pretty crap because I don't necessarily hate this episode like I'm sure some other people do. It's still, however, a poorly written spectacle. First of all, the plot of this episode has already been done before with "Bridle Gossip", with Applejack being overprotective of Apple Bloom. The circumstances were slightly different, but the story is essentially the same, right down to Apple Bloom's repetitive dialogue such as "I can take care of myself". Therefore, the plot's already been done before and Applejack had already supposedly learned her lesson. Secondly, Applejack herself is an unlikable annoying prick in this story. The way she incessantly smiles and does those kiddish chuckles every time Apple Bloom tries to do something for herself or one of her baby-proof contraptions is pointed out is irritating. It's honestly like watching someone lose brain cells. In fact, I'm sure I've lost a few myself from watching Applejack's imbecilic performance. Finally, I think these episodes by nature kind of get on my nerves anyway considering, "real talk" warning, most of my childhood has been rather tarnished by my parents keeping me stuffed in the bubble of their household, not allowing me to engage in much activity on my own or with many of my peers without their close supervision or without knowing where I was at any given second of the day. I compensate for it nowadays, but given that I went through that kind of overprotective crap and resent it, I'm not exactly geared to enjoy a TV show reminding me of the idiocy of at least one of my parents. Henceforth, while this episode might have been doomed from the getgo for a relatively low rating from me, there are still serious writing flaws that do prevent it from earning any positive score. I'm giving "Somepony to Watch Over Me" a 4/10. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Genocide is so mainstream.

That's my style, I'm a sarcastic prick.

Negative review? I...thought I gave fair credit to the good and bad in this episode.

Just the title of this episode alone makes me want to go to my nearest orphanage and burn it down with a single Molotov cocktail, and then film it and use it as my Patreon trailer. Let's see if my sour-ass memories were shared when it first aired. .......................th....the fuck? I liked the Breezie episode? B....But I thought that I thought this episode was trash! Well, I also thought I could speak English and breathe, but time has a way of changing things. And how. Let's see if this onion holds up. This is "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode opens up with Fluttershy addressing the rest of her friends about how the Breezies will be making their way through Ponyville today. At least it's not another episode that's plot revolves around a contest, competition, or big social event. Ponyville throws more fucking parties than Club Penguin (RIP 2005-2017). Anyways, Fluttershy is making sure everything's in place for their arrival, mainly ensuring that the Pegasi give the Breezies just the right amount of wind to soar to their destination, because Breezies are crippled invalids apparently. She also wants to put together a quiet cheer for them...........................ah, yes, and then we can start a friendly war and do some lively killing for the glory of our follow-the-crowd leaders. After the "Skip Intro" button makes me orgasm into a flurry of vanilla pudding, we're in the town squ-.....oh, for fuck's sake, they even turned this into a party. Member when the show didn't rely on overzealous gatherings to convey its plotpoints? Me neither. Fluttershy explains to the audience Mr. and Mrs. Cake how the Breezies' magic works, through the awesome power of breeze, they are able to protect the pollen they have to carry from wherever pollen comes from back to their home. However, they have two days to do this or else the portal to their home closes. Interrupting this mythology, Rarity shows up in an over-the-top dress that's so shiny it's blinding. That's how she distracts people from looking at the herpes on her lip, huehuehue. But that's all over now, it's time for the Breezies to pass over Ponyville like a bad kidney stone. Speaking of kidney stones, Spike shows up hoping to catch a better glimpse of the Breezies. So he climbs a tree, but walking on the branch catapults a leaf into the wind and disrupts the flow of the Breezies' southern migration (in-jokes make me cum). This splits the Breezies into two groups, and it's up to Fluttershy to save the gay. So she jumps into the stream and tells them all to...cling to her? Err......okay. So, apparently that stops them all from spinning horridly out of control and Fluttershy manages to land them safely on the ground. That's when we learn that one of the Breezies, Seabreeze, can speak English and not that German/Swedish/Russian/Gibberish language that the rest of the lot do, which is convenient for the plot in that we can have our two main characters construct dialogue. Now for some conflict in our story; the Breezies don't want to leave Fluttershy now. Fluttershy, I think you have some bugs in your...everywhere. So she takes them back to her cottage, because that's logical. As the rest of the freeloaders mooch off of Fluttershy's kindness, Seabreeze is having a spastic fit. Also, Seabreeze is apparently male, despite speaking in the same high pitched voice as the rest of them and literally sharing model outlines with all of them. The fucker even has pink hair. How the fuck are you supposed to tell the testicles from the ovaries? As Mr. Manly Breezie complains about wanting to go home, the other Breezies all pretend to have colds so they don't have to leave Fluttershy's cottage, and she buys right into it. Right, now I'm seeing the problem with this episode, Fluttershy's stupid. It's not like we had a whole episode dedicated to her learning to be assertive OH WAIT. Yeah, and not only is she incapable of detecting bullshit, but she's also letting all her knowledge about the Breezies go out the window. Given the rules explained by Fluttershy herself at the beginning of this episode, by keeping them at her cottage Fluttershy is destroying the possibility of the Breezies going back home. To their families. The Breezies willing to abandon their lives and the ones they love is odd in and of itself, but the fact that Fluttershy in all of her infinite wisdom on the well-being of other creatures is indulging this is...dare I say...really out of character. Hell, Rainbow Dash is wiser than Fluttershy by encouraging her to stop coddling the Breezies for the sake of nature. Alas, the retardation continues. I don't think I've ever wanted to smack Fluttershy before....................there's a first time for everything. Finally, Seabreeze crashes the party and basically calls everyone out for their stupidity. I like Seabreeze. He should have his own show, called "These Fucking Dipshits". That's when Fluttershy snaps out of it says "maybe you cuntlickers should leave". But once they convince her that they're "scared" again, and Fluttershy tries to protect the Breezies' precious feelings by coddling them for just a few more minutes, Seabreeze just up and leaves to fly home on his own. It's about time this show had a character that didn't put up with bullshit. And the fact that he's been insulting everyone this whole time...yeah, I think Seabreeze is probably one of the show's best guest characters. Problem is, like we said before, the Breezies can't handle conditions too harsh for their bodies, and this is especially true with Seabreeze flying about on his own. Well a lot of neat stuff happened on his adventure, like almost getting crushed by acorns, being attacked by a swarm of bees, a volcano adventure, being inside a TARDIS, and a battle with a ferocious dragon. Wait a minute................yeah, okay, those happened. I doubted my narrative for a second. Just before Seabreeze is about to be killed off by the bees, Fluttershy shows up and enacts the assertiveness she forgot about for the second act and tells the buzzing yellowjackets to go fuck their mother. It's here when Fluttershy realizes that, by trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, she's jeopardized the safety of the Breezies, the structure of their families, as well as the balance of the nature. ......HOLY FUCK THIS IS A COMMENTARY ON POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.....also, this is a key episode. I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see eyes burning in beautiful colors. Wait, yes I have. Well, this episode just did a complete 180. Fluttershy takes Seabreeze back home and tells the rest of the Breezies to go fuck their mothers, finally working on a plan to get them back home. However, more trouble arises when Rainbow Dash and the other Pegasi are unable to get a Breeze going that is light or strong enough for the small group of Breezies to take flight. That's when Twilight comes in to say "hey, I just found this spell that can turn us all into Breezies". ............Nigga...........................WHAT?! So, they had time to establish every rule that would come into play later in the episode except for this spell. Can you say "DEUS EX MACHINA"? Well, this episode just did a complete 180. So apparently this fixes everything, as I guess the group just needed six more Breezies. I just realized it may be grammatically incorrect to keep capitalizing Breezies.........welp, too late now. On the journey back home, Seabreeze rushes out an apology about how he was a dick to the rest of his group, which adds fuel to the blazing inferno of this terrible resolution. They don't even have enough time to show the journal entry this time, it's just a voice over as our main cast leaves the Breezies' home......down in, Fraggle Rock or whatever the hell that place is. In the end, Seabreeze gives Fluttershy a flower, which we can only assume is her key. I want to make a "deflowering" virginity joke. I want to. In the end, Fluttershy learns that urgency > feelings, and they all magically turn back into ponies. So concludes "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holy shit is this episode really polarizing. On one hand, there's a lot of crap in this episode. Fluttershy purposely endangering the Breezies for what at the time seemed to be just sheer stupidity seemed really out of character for her, given she's been very adamant about making sure other creatures are safe. There's the last three minutes that ruin a lot of this episode, by pulling a bullshit spell out of nowhere, making Seabreeze undergo a total character transformation in just twenty seconds, and then the rushed pace of it all. Some have even argued that the logic of the Breezies' very existence in this world makes little sense as far as their ability to survive in nature without the help of ponykind. On the other hand, there's a lot of gems in this episode. The moral basically states that most times feelings shouldn't take priority, and that's very mature for this show to tackle. The fact that is so heavily applies to the culture of today, as well as the fact that my outspoken opposition to political correctness and social justice warriors, the theme is both an applicable and personal one. Some of the comedy is even pretty decent in this episode, and up until those last three minutes, Seabreeze taking the piss out of everyone and calling out people for their stupidity is something I absolutely loved. So, what the fuck do I rate this. There are some real problems and some real good stuff going on within these 22 minutes. I'm going to have to settle at roughly a 7/10. It might've scored a lower if I didn't admire the moral so much, 'cause goddamn that resolution sucked. Oh well. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Small tits should be illegal.

So I put up a banner.... Okay, let's see. "Twilight Time"......................................................................................................................... FINALLY! A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT TWILIGHT MASTURBATING! It's like the Pony Gods have answered my prayers. This'll be rrriiiiiiich. Alright, as per matter of course, it's time to take a trip down memory lane and see what I thought about this episode when it first aired. Wow. That was the most thought provoking review I've ever read. Like, it makes me really consider my place in the universe, man. Have you ever, like, stopped to look at the grass, man? It's like, way far out brah. Peace and love, maaan............No, seriously, that was my entire post on this episode's thread on the forums, no clipping involved. Strange considering I remember at least giving a paragraph every episode. Well, just like last time, we're going to see if this opinion holds up. This, is *snicker*..wait a minute, I can't....*giggle*......."Twilight Time". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So this episode opens up with the Cutie Mark Crusader-OH NO, GOD, TWILIGHT. NOT THE CHILDREN. YOU CAN'T MASTURBATE TO THE CHILDREN. THAT'S CHEERILEE'S JOB! Oooooh dear, this joke took a very unexpected turn. So...um...this episode opens up with Twilight teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders....."new skill sets". *shivers*. Specifically, Scootaloo is practicing putting together bikes and such, Sweetie Belle is practicing her levitation magic, and Apple Bloom is practicing...potions. As Sweetie Belle exclaims that she will never get her cutie mark with these talents, Twilight explains that while they may not receive cutie marks, it's always good acquire new skills. Establishing from the beginning that these skills aren't going to play a major role in the CMC arc. It's almost like they were still building this arc up until season five gave it a radical turn of events for no apparent reason. Alas, it is true, the CMC aren't very good at the new talents they're working on, but it's because they're still learning. Apple Bloom fucks up her flower-growing potion so bad that they grow a flower with intense tuberculosis (not joking), and then laugh at it. This may be sickening and disturbing to some, but I find it to be among the series most hilarious jokes 'cause I'm a twisted fuck. From birth, this little fucker had no chance. After the "Skip Intro" button makes me taste the sweet, sweet fumes of sperm sandwich, we return to the school where Diamond Tiara and her bitch are gathering all their classmates around to tell them that she's going to do some acrobatics now. And the rest of the school should care...why? ....Eh, fuck it, they do care for some reason. When Diamond Tiara explains that she's tired, though, she brings her butler to do the tricks for her. After he's done, she gets all the accolades from her peers because the schoolponies in this episode are really stupid. Like, more than usual. As the CMC watch in disgust, Sweetie Belle suggests that if they get really good at the stuff Twilight's teaching them (oh dear Jesus), maybe they will be the big shots around here. Yeah! Then Diamond Tiara can go give a cactus a blowjob! However, when Diamond Tiara tease the CMC about not being able to do anything cool, Sweetie Belle blurts out that they hang out with Princess Twilight all the time. And, to paraphrase a quote from 00mariofan4eva00's glorious magnum opus fan fiction "CRISIS IN TIMESPACE": "ad twilite dimond tiera was so shock to hear." I mean, my memories a bit blurry on early season continuity, but hasn't Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon seen Twilight before? In fact, haven't they seen her with the CMC? I mean, I'm not taking points off for this since I'm not sure, and it's reasonable to believe that Diamond Tiara would be shocked that they hang out "all the time" per-say, but it's still a bit odd. Regardless, Diamond Tiara suddenly wants to come along with the CMC to "Twilight Time" herself. You know what unfortunate scandal keeps coming to mind whenever I think of the title of this episode? The accusations against Michael Jackson for child molestation in the 90's. Twilight proceeded to go Tirek on their asses.....in very raunchy ways. GOD THE TITLE OF THIS EPISODE SUCKS SO MUCH. As you see above, the CMC thought it funny to see Diamond Tiara being a tryhard around them, so they brought her and her bitch along for the lols. Twilight, however, was not lol. She suggested that they keep Twilight Time "just between us". OHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFUCK. This episode is not making it difficult with how many times you can take this shit out of context! Anyways, the CMC expected to see Diamond Tiara try and fail at doing some task Twilight assigns them, but when Twilight explains that Twilight Time is only for the CMC, they are now forced to display their inexperience to Diamond Tiara, which can only turn out so well. While they didn't make fun of the CMC, they eventually told everyone at school about Twilight Time, and now they all want to experience it for themselves, which causes a whole new slew of problems for the CMC. Luckily, Sweetie Belle's "got this", as she laughs at the thought of the plan anyway now she's at her grave. *ahem*. Sorry, more fanfiction references. Instead of inviting all the ponies to Twilight Time per-say, she invites Twilight out to a public place for lunch in which the schoolponies can stalk her through the window. GG. GG. Hmm, what age-old meme can I resurrect for this caption? Oh, yes. "I always feel like somebody's watching me". Once Twilight inevitably sees the paparazzi outside, she goes out to investigate only to be swarmed by schoolponies. However, instead of being mad at the CMC, she welcomes the attention and then bids the CMC farewell. So it works out for everyone. Twilight isn't mad, and the CMC's popularity grows stronger. Whodathunk. It seems the CMC are actually climbing up the ladder as they use their popularity as a means to get favors....that is, until the CMC explain that the schoolponies can't join them for Twilight Time. Then they all turn into angry mob zombies and try to kill our three dipshits. They even beat them to Twilight's library, as the great princess herself opens the door to see a swarm of schoolponies at her door. The CMC try to explain that they didn't mean for this to get out of hand, but Twilight need hear no more. She's...perfectly okay with all the ponies joining them for Twilight Time. Err, then what was the point of the "just between us" line, you might ask? Apparently it was just for the CMC's benefit, Twilight herself doesn't mind. Mmmmmm....seems a bit wonky. If that were the case, I don't think Twilight would say to keep this just between them so much as she'd ask the CMC if they're sure they wanna bring other ponies along. The tipping point for Twilight is when she learns that the CMC have been harping Twilight Time as a means for popularity in school, and henceforth challenges the CMC to display the improvement of the skillsets they've learned to prove that they were learning from Twilight for learning's sake. As you might imagine, they haven't had much time to practice, and proceed to fuck up faster than two quasigender modems can interface and reproduce infant swan turtles. So that's what Twilight's cum looks like! Diamond Tiara attempts to tease the CMC for not coming to Twilight Time "to learn", but then Twilight unleashes a super sick burn by stating "neither did any of you". #REKT #BESTVINES2017 #GONESEXUAL #COPSINVOLVED. The CMC proceed to apologize to Twilight for unleashing shit's creek, and as they prepare to leave, actually manage to prove their skillsets better than before, with Apple Bloom growing a flower that Sweetie Belle levitates to Twilight's hair. It's this small act that forces the princess to reconsider everything and give them a chance. Over time, the CMC learn to improve their skills and even get to write an entry in the journal that went nowhere, delivering the moral about forgiveness or whatever. The twist to it all is that the CMC...sort of have to keep Twilight Time a secret now. FOR FUCKS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE, YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS EASY!!!!!!! ............................................................................*cough*............So, um, it's disguise time? "Sometimes it's so nifty, when I'm really really shifty in disguiiiise". What? That one's at least more recent! And so concludes...heh..."Twilight Time" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pedophile innuendo ruined this episode for me, but luckily I can separate that from the quality of this episode. Um...yeah, my opinion is pretty much the same as it was three years ago. It's...an okay episode. It's another one of those episodes that is sort of by-the-books in terms of plot, character development, pacing, moral, and all that. Especially for a CMC episode, mind you, this one's pretty run of the mill. I mean, there were some points in the episode that legitimately threw me for a loop, such as how many times Twilight was willing to dodge anger at the CMC, even when it almost didn't make sense. But then there's how Sweetie Belle was basically pulling all the strings this time around without it completely being a Sweetie Belle episode. There's even bits of good comedy in here, like Spike and the nachos later on during the episode. Even still, there's not a whole lot that exceeded my expectations in the long run, and on the subjective side, I became quickly bored of the storyline halfway through. "Twilight Time" isn't a bad episode, and if I had found some kind of enjoyment in it, it might've scraped an 8/10. As it stands, it'll just have to sit at the rating that most bland or most run-of-the-mill episodes get: 7/10. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brazil isn't real.

I would convulse like a spastic until I was dead. That being said, sweet dreams to the next unfortunate soul who has to snuggle with this sexy face.

Sure, but if you're going to criticize me for it, you should have some way better defenses than "I'm lackadaisical about what I watch so you should be too." Because the fact that "you don't watch MLP for continuity" doesn't mean jack shit when you're trying to debate someone. That's fine that you don't care about the problems I brought up in this episode, but for someone so arguably adamant that my opinion is wrong, you haven't legitimately refuted a single one. Chaton, continuity is part of writing 101. A story that has no continuity is a bad story. There can't be a story at all without continuity. Given your reaction to my last comment, you've probably stopped reading by now. Thanks, by the way, for disrespectfully amounting my defenses to "blah, blah, blah". Now, I hate to burst your bubble, but the problems are pretty glaring. Just to take an opinion that isn't mine, I read this review to a friend of mine who managed to miss this episode somehow, and when he got to the part about Rarity having a quartet, he stopped dead in his tracks and explicitly asked in the most disappointed monotone delivery: "right, since when was Rarity established as a musician?" Again, there's contrivances, and then there's actions that no reasonable person would make. You can see the real story of Milli Vanilli for how a fanbase reacts to their singers ripping them off. Their careers crash and burn because normal people don't like to be fucked in the ass. The crowds in this episode, apparently, do, which is bullshit for any episode to pull off when they're trying to parody a real life situation. The fact that I noticed them as both a child and an adult stands for something. It's not nitpicking, it's legitimate criticism. When I say something's unoriginal, I'm saying it's a carbon copy of the trope it's trying to pull off, in that there's no differences whatsoever. I'm not an idiot, Chaton, and I've certainly been analyzing art for a long enough time to know that all art is derivative of something. A good piece of art knows how to trick the audience and its critics well enough to take them on a journey they've never been on before, by bringing an abundance of new material to the table. This show is very capable of doing that, see "Party of One", "A Friend in Deed", "Luna Eclipsed", "Sisterhooves Social", "Hurricane Fluttershy", "Pinkie Pride", "The Return of Harmony", and so many others for the show's top notch material. "Filli Vanilli", in comparison to all of that, is at best a cliche mess, and at worst, a contrived and contorted train wreck with a slew of writing issues. I literally just said that "Filli Vanilli" has the same anxiety storyline as "Hurricane Fluttershy" but now with singing and bad writing. The character arc isn't even original within the series you're trying to defend. A lot of people think "Over a Barrel" is a bad episode. It makes quite a few lists of the worst episodes of the show. I'm actually pretty lenient on the episode in comparison. I thought the ending was rushed, Pinkie Pie was a bit off the edge, and it was subjectively a bit boring. Others are a bit harder on it. Nuke87654 criticized it for "AJ's antagonistic behavior and Pinkie Pie's idiocy to help spurn the conflict up, and how forced and insulting the resolution to their conflict happened". Dark Qiviut gave it a D+, though I wish I could find his review on it. I've been watching the show since "Stare Master", a season one episode, and I still consider the first season mediocre at best. It doesn't matter when Lambdadelta, or anyone, started watching the show, Chaton. That's an extremely elitist point of view and a really shitty defense. Writing, both good and bad, doesn't have an expiration date or a prerequisite for noticing it. (Edited because I misspelled Lambdadelta's username)

I expect good writing out of any show, I don't care what the premise is. Most critics have this attitude, and it's a perfectly justified one. Edit: I misread this sentence, sorry. It doesn't need to make a political statement, but if it's not going to attempt to write a story that's remotely original (which plenty of season two episodes were), it needs to do something different with that story (see below) and it needs to apply to the character at hand. Like I said in the review, this would've been a much better Sweetie Belle episode because at least you could work it into the existing storyline, and avoid all the continuity errors, plot contrivances, and character flanderization that happens in "Filli Vanilli". But they didn't. This plot was approached and executed in an extremely typical manner, in no way bringing anything new to the table aside from a slew of contrivances and poor character presentation on Pinkie Pie's part. Arguably, the only thing it did differently was instead of having Fluttershy make a complete turnaround by the end of the episode, they had her take "baby steps". Well, aren't you glad they followed up those baby steps in future episodes so that she could grow into a full-blown performer? Oh wait, they didn't. Whatever Amy Keating Rogers was trying to get going in this episode, the other writers on the show clearly did not give one flying fuck about, and for good reason. Also, you know what other episode involves Fluttershy's anxiety, but is written a hundred times better? "Hurricane Fluttershy". Glad I just remembered that, 'cause it makes this episode not only poorly written and cliché, but also redundant. They tried making the show into something it isn't? So...you're saying this show isn't any good. Because the second season way more than the third gave this show great episodes with objectively well-written stories, morals, and character development that made this show worth while. It's still, as of right now, the only season of the show with the most consistent quality. Season one was mediocre, and had a batshit ton of terrible episodes like "Boast Busters", "Bridle Gossip", "The Show Stoppers", and "Over a Barrel", practically all of them just being awful stories in and of themselves that wouldn't work in any show. Hell, I've seen analysts around here bash the pilot of all things. In that it's a clumsy piece of storytelling. Case in point, thank you. Yes, because they never hinted at this before....ever. You should never pull anything out of left field for the sake of a single story, or else you turn it into a convoluted mess. Also, Big Mac's more than a background character, he's part of the supporting cast and has played pivotal roles in the show's stories before and after this episode. If he had any interest in singing, we would've known about it long before we were four seasons and eighty episodes into the show. Yes, you're right. Many musical numbers have the main six singing. Including Fluttershy. And if that's the case, then the other five have heard Fluttershy sing before. Beautifully, I might add, in the many musical numbers they've engaged in. However, to serve this episode's plot, the other characters have the worst case of selective amnesia in that they are surprised to hear Fluttershy carrying any kind of tune. So to cover the writer's ass, the only thing left to assume is that those over-the-top musical numbers didn't actually happen in the "canon" or "real-world" of the series. And if that's the case, then no, Rarity should have no background in music whatsoever, because she's never sung a note outside of those over-the-top numbers that are supposedly not canon. Wow, it's almost like this episode wasn't thought out at all, imagine that! Then, with all due respect, what on Earth are you reading a review for? What did you expect of an entry that's very definition is to delve into critical analysis? I admit that my reviews lean way more toward comedic and entertainment purposes than most other analysts' rather serious, scene-by-scene breakdowns, but at the end of it all I do give an honest analysis summarized from all the information touched upon prior. I still review the episode by the end of it all. So, what exactly do you want from a review if not for deep analysis? You think I spent any amount of time on this godforsaken show looking for reasons to not like this episode? Please. This episode aired when I was 14, and even back then I didn't like it. Even as a kid I could see that this episode wasn't anything special. Revisiting it today confirmed everything I didn't like about it before and allowed me to find new problems with it, like Pinkie Pie's flanderization (which I later discovered was such a widespread criticism of this episode that it prompted people to actually tweet to the writer about how much they fucked up) and the fact that this episode had no impact on the series afterward. In short, I'm sorry I don't turn off my brain to your liking amidst my efforts to find engaging entertainment, which this series has proved on several occasions that it's more than capable of doing.