Clod

tbh fuck the nfl

so pissed i gotta come out of retirement to make a status update real quick

hey, new year's supposed to be for change right?

well

i think it's time for a change in my time here.

as in, i'm done.

there's nothing left for me here.

not saying i'll never be back, because i do struggle with leaving things behind sometimes.

but really, there's no good reason for me to be here.

i don't have anyone here.

i've known some of you for a long time

but really, i don't talk to anyone and nobody talks to me

it's been an interesting 5 years. but i think 5 is more than i needed. i mean this is something i've been thinking about for a long time. but i just couldn't leave all this behind.

now i see that it's for the best. i'm at a point where i'm just reading status updates and brohoofing them, and posting an occasional one myself that people don't actually care about. i'm just someone that exists here, a few people know i exist, but that's it.

thank you mlpf for getting me through some shit in my early time here, even though almost everyone i talked to back then has since left. it was fun.

i'm leaving my discord thing on my profile in case there is anyone that wants it, but idk how much that matters.

goodbye.

first person to guess the numbers on my visa gift card can have the $1 that's left on it

i don't want to make it too hard, so here's what i'll leave you with:

**** **1* **** ****
**/**
***

good luck

You know how annoying it is when you're watching a video and you hear a Discord notification so you think someone messaged you? That just happened to me. Difference is, there was no video. There was no notification. There was no sound. Nothing actually happened. I fucking heard a Discord notification that didn't even exist. I'm laying down, trying to fall asleep and ignore my mind going places I don't really want it to. And then it does that shit. A completely non-existent Discord notification sound.

I just want to sleep.

nothing even happened but today's been shit lol

them: lol it's unfortunate that you can't call, i actually could for once

me: wait i can on something else

them: actually i can't lol

fucking nice. always have a reason you can't, until i truly can't, except once i realize i actually can there's a reason you can't again. cool.

it'd be easier if you'd just admit you don't want to talk to me.

turns out my new earbuds were some bootleg shit that sounds like shit because they're shit

so i took the microphone apart (already didn't work) and found that it was different from my old, real pair (which broke after months of use)

the actual in-ear parts did not come apart after stomping on them, gave up

conclusion: watch where you buy stuff, if it's too good to be true it probably is and headphones aren't going to be super cheap compared to their normal price.

alright i know i promised a christmas status update that would leave you in tears. it took a bit longer than expected, and i may or may not have fell asleep for a bit. but it's here, and it's finally time to share it with everyone. it's a bit of a long read though, so it's in this spoiler.

thank you for reading, have a wonderful day.

get ready for new christmas status updates as it becomes the 25th in different time zones, or people wake up on their 25th.

i personally have a really special one planned, in an attempt to make it truly better than the rest. to make it important. it won't just be a "merry christmas" that you've seen a million times. by the end of it, you'll be in tears.

it's gonna be beautiful. just wait and see.

elon musk should move to africa

i hear there's a country where they get pretty mad at gas cars

Fucking love baked potatoes honestly

all i want for christmas this year is a competent fucking team on forza so i can win this prize and never do it again

whose idea was it to make a team-based multiplayer event where everyone's in hard to control trucks in a game where 90% of the players are shit? and worst of all, the difficulty has to be set to unbeatable.

i just want my damn santa suit

Pretty incredible how Bethesda, which was once a pretty alright game company, has completely ignored the mistakes of other companies and instead became the same as the others.

I was once excited for Elder Scrolls VI. Now I'm just worried for it. I don't trust Bethesda anymore.

It's like people asking for Skate 4 from EA. Maybe if it came out soon after Skate 3. Today? It's best that it's left at 3. The series ended with a good game. Let it stay that way.

i'd say shadows are pretty heavy

i mean, they definitely aren't light

so much sleep
just did like 13 hours with a bit in the middle where i had to eat

and it seems for the past week or more i've just been sleeping way more than usual

edit: i also woke up at 1 am but only for a couple minutes

The seemingly endless wait for 1 PM for the release of Forza Horizon 4's first expansion is terrible. I want to sleep a few hours to skip a little time lol.

Hell yeah, little walk in the snow early in the morning. Nothing better than walking in the cold until one of your knees decides it's bored and wants to go back home.

i clicked a place on google maps once and now i keep getting ads for it on youtube constantly

no, i don't feel like buying wood pellets from the hardware store.

hey, i'm back i guess

coincidentally it's also the 5th anniversary of me joining this forum

i've been here for 5 whole years

holy shit

alright yeah

i'm gonna leave for a while

if anyone cares, my discord is on my profile

though i know that's not going to lead to anything so idk why it's even there

i just need a break or something idk

just don't feel like i should be here atm

i have two choices

1. keep trying to post here in a futile attempt to have some kind of human interaction outside of my ex (still friends dw), even if it's online and nobody actually wants to talk to me so the most i get is a reaction or two on whatever worthless shit i post, which is negative 99% of the time so nobody wants to read anything i post
2. give up and let the loneliness consume me

and man, both choices suck.

feels like everything i do is pointless, really. i'll never get anywhere in life because i don't know how to not fuck up everything, and i can never have any meaningful relationship, friend or more, because i don't know how to. i'm only ever boring or annoying. and i can't get a job because i fucked up everything, and nobody wants to hire me.

do i even want a job? most i'd ever get is retail. i don't want to work in retail. or any other job really. i hate existing enough already.

am i better off dead? i don't think i can give a selfish reason for myself to stay alive. only to keep people from getting upset. which is basically just family and my one friend, my now ex. i'll never actually achieve happiness. not when i consistently ruin everything. not when i can't get a job that wouldn't make me want to die. not when i can't actually enjoy doing anything.

yet i keep existing, i guess.

and if you're wondering, this isn't related to the previous status update. if you've ever known me, i've been like this a very long time.

see you all next time when i either make another depressing status update or say something stupid in an attempt to be funny. depression and shitty humor are all i've got lol

Update: Finally got a message.

Fuck.

gotta love when you see a discord notification and hope it's the person you've been waiting all day to talk to only to find out it's an @everyone.