Reverie

The entire last year and a half of my life. 2011 was a weird, fucked up year for me..

Old age, by a long shot.. And the concept of running out of time/wasting time/not dying at the perfect time I.e before I've achieved what I want but after I'm older than I ever wanted to be. Also not being remembered is a big part of it. Death itself I don't have an issue with. Also being schizo there are the shadow people, demons, fallen angels and the like that exist in my head that try to hurt me. Though I've gotten better at dealing with them. But I guess I'm pretty scared of becoming severely mentally ill again for the same reason above, losing precious time.

I'm really bad at taking pictures of my make up everyday, I really should but here are some of what I have: I want to get my face charts really perfect before posting any portfolio stuff. Hate this photo of me but I think it showcases the make up quite well..

It's cool, I wear a lot of eyeliner like that! or when I get bored during class I extend my eyeliner out like that haha. When I get bored I've been known to cover my face and sometimes my body as well, in those kind of patterns.

I have similar kind of situation, it's awful because when you don't really sleep when you sleep it really has negative domino effect on the rest of your life. I'm a chronic insomniac but the most troubling thing to me is that I actually get stuck in my dreams. I'm screaming at people for help because I can't wake up and I can't move and I think I'm calling and texting people but in reality I'm completely paralysed. I've been in this state for over 12 hours before and it's terrifying because I wake up physically exhausted but I'm so scared of slipping back into sleep because it may be another hour or so before I can break out of it. I also have all sorts of horrid lucid dreams and the like which may have to do with that my hallucinations get a lot worse when it's dark, so when I'm lying in bed my hallucinations will follow me into my sleep. I stopped taking some of my meds, the antipsychotics, as the hallucinations had stopped for the most part and when I did have them they were good ones but I'm starting to think I may need them again because they've been less sunny recently :/ Do you take any medication for your anxiety, sleep, paranoia etc?

Yes, I've noticed topics here often get hideously sidetracked then get deleted for 'arguing' haha. So probably best to steer it back to make up

Just one of a few examples I could give: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmZm3vwrF8Q But you are identifying yourself with a subculture. Surely that in and of itself is conforming? Even though of course there are many differences between each individual Goth in what they consider that to be.. It's still taking on a particular style, that is whether you like it or not, a popular subculture style/identifiable with a particular fashion tribe.

Love, love, LOVE into the woods. I'm one of those people obsessed with Audrey. My Fair Lady is just stunning and THE COSTUMES simply to die for. I must say I'm seriously disappoint by the amount of people saying Wicked and Phantom. I mean they're ok but they're hardly outstanding stage productions or films, just light entertainment... Other ones that have to be up there for me are Fame, Guys & Dolls, Gypsy, The King and I, High Society, Hair, Evita, Chorus Line, Annie Get Your Gun, South Pacific, Fiddler On The Roof, Singing in the Rain, 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, White Christmas There are many more I love but then we'd be here forever. Nothing beats West Side Story though. One of the most stunning creations to ever exist I think.

THE DANCING MUSHROOMS ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PARTS!! Literally gets me every time, actually were quite heavily involved in one of my acid trips..... My friends and I were dancing around and in fits of laughter; that scene is just perfect in every way. Moving on, your grandfather is awesome. That is quite an incredible achievement.

When I said that I was referring to more as fashion/make up/image as a whole. Fashion is something we cannot avoid. Whether we want it to or not what we put on our bodies when we get ready will say something about us. It may identify us with a a certain type of culture, as following fashion or not following fashion, as working somewhere etc. People will judge us and make assumptions on us as they pass us in the street as your outer appearance is a way to tell the humans we pass by something about ourselves and it will say something about us whether we want it to/are aware of it or not. Different people will react differently to the same look of course, while to some a goth may appear rebellious to others they are merely conforming. Make up is of course an integral part of this, by not wearing make up or appearing to care about it we are giving a certain impression of ourselves while wearing a lot of makeup or certain style of make up will reflect upon an individual in a different way. Moreover, you can never truly disregard fashion because every item of clothing you own was effectively chosen for you by the people who dictate the trends whether you chose to follow them or not, all clothing/make up manufactured is a reflection of that. For this reason aside from music, I believe fashion to be the highest and powerful form of art. Image does matter and it is impossible to get around that. It's a shame because it is often disregarded as such. I have many more points and could go on for a lot, lot longer but I am writing an entire piece on this for my blog so I think that's a little unnecessary. That was longer than I intended it to be anyway. Also the large aim of make up is to make up close ups of the skin look a lot more appealing.

ADHD is actually a very severe mental disorder that can tear apart lives and has ruined families of a few of my friends. The problem is that many people are diagnosed with 'ADHD' when they are merely children who just find school boring or the like which is quite insulting to people actually suffering from the illness. There needs to be a better way to test for ADHD for at the moment there isn't one and most people just pretend to have it to get an aderall prescription, though I don't understand much of the logic to giving speed to people with ADHD.. Saying that I readily abused benzos, anticholinergics and sleeping pills that were prescribed to me but I do also see the benefit in those medications when they're used properly.

Can I ask why? Dw, I'm not going to attack you or anything. I'm just writing something on the importance of fashion, make up, image etc and why people disregard it as an art form even though it's the one form of art that it is impossible to avoid being a part of. I find that quite ignorant and want to unravel it as best I can.

I did the same! And I hadn't seen it for years till I bought the dvd a few months ago and now I'm watching it over and over again and forcing my friends to sit through it too.

I'm the second from the left. These are a tad old & from when I worked and modelled a bit at Westwood, they're a couple of many: note the shoes, 12 inches!

What's your favourite musical? Mine is West Side Story. Undoubtedly so. It was so ahead of it's time.

Anypony else obsessed? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XChxLGnIwCU There is a whole myriad of reasons why I love this movie, it fed both my dinosaur and unicorn obsession as a child and I think with hindsight heavily influenced my decision to take up the harp. I would love to see them do another one, even since Fantasia 2000, animation has come a long, long way and the possibilities far beyond what was capable then. I do however think it will always remain timeless. I love all of it so I'm not sure what my favourite sequence is. I do love the nutcracker suite though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxBJYSU3RJ8

Mmm, classical music is an expensive hobby/career path. A student harp will set you back about £10,000. Mine is valued at £23,000 which is pretty standard for an orchestral harp. Apart from the gold ones, they are truly hideous and cost around £50-100k.. I'm lusting after this one though but it's around 37k But it really is sex on 47 strings.

Hahahahaha, I tend to do that to people.

From cheaper brands, I'd recommend Rimmel - the Kate Moss collection has a fantastic purple lipstick as do their permanent collection. For a less dark purple shade that's still intense, Rimmel's Electric Plum from their moisturising range. L'Oreal also a great one, I believe it's number 214 but I may be wrong. Revlon has a couple as well, I believe it's called Plum or maybe it's Mauve it Over. Mauve it over may be a bit pale though.. My personal favourite is Sleek's Mulberry but I believe that can be hard to get in some places. Yes, I am a make up geek.

Make up suits everyone, it's just about figuring out what best works with your features. You'd probably have a heart attack at my credit card bill then! I can't go a week without buying new make up and brushes. It adds up to hundreds a month. And deep plum/purple lipstick is divine; it used to be my go to lip colour when I was around 15/16.