Paradoxy

Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned that it's okay to obliterate innocent ponies without giving even a moment's pause to consider the fact that they are sentient, self-aware beings, as long as their existence is extraneous and nopony will miss them. More importantly, I have come to appreciate that being the most powerful pony in the room means being the arbiter of who is allowed to exist. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

I once had a dream that I fired a cannon into the sky, hoping to kill "God". It was fun. Probably just the literalisation of my frustration with the anti-intellectualism and misanthropy of religious belief.

Emotionally, I get bothered and anxious and crap. I fear being judged so much that I often find it hard or impossible to talk, or I want to but my mind goes blank. Philosophically, though, I don't give two bits. I set my own standards and only seriously doubt myself when I fail to meet them. I value the opinions of people who know me well and who have good judgement, but I don't seek their validation. Besides, I judge others pretty harshly and find it hard to take their opinions seriously when I find their worldviews laughable, which is... too many people. You have to earn my respect before I care what you think about me.

Actually, there are some people who regularly do hard drugs and you wouldn't know the difference unless you saw them in their private time. I used to live next to a hard drug dealer whose main clientele seemed to be middle class white collar workers. The thing is, when an individual who partakes in cocaine on a daily basis is high-functioning and doesn't publicly make a fool of themselves, there's no way for them to be identified as a hard drug user. So the only examples of hard drug users we're familiar with are the kind of loser junkies who have a very clearcut problem. I'm not commenting on whether or not these kind of high-functioning users have healthy lifestyles, of course, just pointing out that they exist and are categorically difficult to identify, count and compare to less functional addicts. On the topic, I used to think I hated alcohol, but it turns out I just didn't like the kinds I tried, and I was (and still am) put off by some drinking cultures. People who have to drink to be social really rub me the wrong way. But a little drink now and then, for me maybe once a week on average, is quite pleasant. It's nice to slowly sip wine while watching a movie, and once in a while I really like the way a few shots of sweet rum go down and make my brain feel warm and tingly and good. But I never get fall-over drunk, and because I keep hydrated with food in my stomach I've never had a real hangover even when I have a lot to drink. I'm pretty much of the opinion that if you throw up or suffer hangovers, you're doing it wrong. I definitely think that alcohol is a substance that can dangerously impair a person's functioning as much or moreso than some illegal substances. There are people who exercise good self-control when they drink, and there are people who don't and/or can't, to some degree. But I don't consider that an argument against alcohol. Prohibition, like the "war on drugs", does more harm than good. Any substance that can endanger people should be regulated, not pushed into deadly black markets.

An example that immediately comes to mind from my own experience is Harvest Moon, but if we're talking about online fandoms, they can be particularly hard to judge, since you can never figure the composition of a silent majority. The areas of the fandom you're drawn to might also colour your perception of it in general, based on its appeal to different kinds of fans.

How are the opinions of others imposing on your freedom? In my experience, if you feel restricted by the kind of people you're around, you need to make more of an effort to surround yourself with people who understand you and have things in common with you. Speaking as a moderately antisocial person, I know I'm not going to enjoy the company of or feel validated by the vast majority of people, but that just makes the few people I get close to all the more special. And it sounds like you need to be careful about generalising everyone your age because of the way you perceive most people your age to act and think, even though you clearly see yourself as an exception, and therefore exceptions are possible. For one example from your list, not every woman over 25 wants to get married, either immediately or ever. From my experience, putting too much stock in generalisations, however statistical they are, can lead down a dangerous road of myopia, resentment, self-pity and even persecution complex. So try to see people as individuals and put yourself in situations where you'll meet like-minded folk, that's my advice. On the general topic, I think that not just reaching adulthood but ageing in general facilitates new freedoms as we're able to gain deeper understandings of the world through experience. As the adage goes, "the truth will set you free", and as we age we get more opportunities to hone our tools of rational analysis, develop and test theories about the world, and make discoveries about ourselves and others. Growing this way increases our potential for meaningful agency. The more we're aware of, the more ways we can use this awareness. As we gain responsibility for our own lives there are some constraints on what we can and can't do, but as adults, we can make much more significant decisions about the kind of life we live. The most restrictive forces I can think of are problems with the way the world's run, say, the way capitalism serves the most powerful people in society and relies on the existence of a comparatively powerless underclass. The opinions of my social peers don't have any bearing on my freedom compared to forces like that. Your post seems to reduce "freedom" to the specific behaviours we can engage in without being judged by others. But to me, if freedom was just the general approval of the ways I express myself in the same terms it's granted to kids -- with the condescending presumption that I'll grow out of it, etc. -- I wouldn't value it. Real freedom is complex and challenging. In a world where free agency is constantly interfered with by crap like direct misinformation and systematic power imbalances, it seems a little petty to call slightly limiting social standards a lack of freedom. Sure, it'd be nice if in general people were more open-minded, but like I said, it's the exceptional individuals who count. If you want the world to be less hostile to the way you express yourself, your focus should be on how you can contribute to a more open-minded culture by judging others as individuals and not giving two bits about the normative standards of the nebulous society-at-large.