Rikifive

After such a long time I think it is 'safe' to say, that I got scammed online...  

I don't want to go into details in public like this, but to make the story ultra-short - Somebody commissioned me to do something for money. It was actually my very first and so far the only one paid task. I always try to help (when I can) for free, but this time somebody offered me payment for in-depth tasks, that required more work than usual and were handled privately- just for the person requesting things. I agreed and worked so hard for around a week, that person was happy with the results and *poof* -- empty promises, the end.

I really feel uncomfortable when it comes to money- I don't like asking for/reminding about it, even if that's my money. I always believe, that they'll come to me in the right time and I always give them as much time as they need, but I have a feeling, that everybody is hoping, that I'll eventually forget about them owing me anything. Of course I remember everything, I just don't like to poke anyone. *sigh* I always preferred giving, than receiving.. Giving is way much simpler. ..It's not even only about money - it applies to pretty much everything. I don't tend to ask for something - I always believe, that I'll get something once I'll really deserve it. Turns out I don't deserve anything heh.  Probably a bad approach, but well..

My family always says, that I keep wasting my time on the hobbies-- in front of the computer. Not totally seriously though- they say this kinda jokingly. While they from some point of view are right, I keep replying, that I do all of this for my own entertainment, because I just love this and I don't aim to get any profit from this. Nevertheless, it would feel great to be able to say, that I actually used my skills to get something, so that they'd be like 'woah!' and perhaps somewhat proud of me. I got kinda hyped for that back then.  Heh.. In reality it looks the other way around at the moment, as I'm spending some money towards software, hardware etc., but *shush*.  Either way, I just love to create, share and help, so I'm getting everything I need to feel proud of myself. Being able to get some income from hobbies would of course be great (we all would love that, wouldn't we?), but I just love to create, so I don't need any of that to keep me motivated.

*sigh* At least that person was happy and thankful, that's the most important thing. Always happy to be able to help.

No worries though, everything is alright. I'd just like to say, that I don't feel comfortable having to poke anybody, so please keep that in mind when asking me something. You may cause harm even without knowing it... 

Rikifive in a nutshell - Walls of text even in status updates.