Pastel Heart

I've decided after a bit of contemplation that after my RP obligations are fulfilled I will be leaving the forums. I will also be deleting my discord as i rarely get to use it anyway.

It's been fun. It really has. My being here was a miracle. But miracles don't last forever.

I came here looking for a part of myself a long time ago. And I thought I got her back. The me that fell in love with MLP years ago and it changed her life. To an extent, I feel like I've regressed into a better me and I'm happy about that.

But I'm slipping. Slipping on myself. My dark paranoid thoughts keep coming to surface, and people can see them. It's not a me I like, or others want to see. I want to be the best Pastel, the crazy filly that has fun, smiles and is a great friend. Or atleast, one thats not a pain in the butt or drags the community down and I feel like the last couple weeks or so ive been both. My paranoid, scared side that doubts, get suspicious of people with little to no reason and carries a dark cloud. And no one wants that. Not even me. I came here looking for that, found it, but i keep slipping. I dont want anyone to think of me as mean or gloomy or a fake... so, i think this is for the best.

I'm sorry. I feel like I've made some great friends here but I don't want this place to become another piece of my life where I just dump all my baggage on.

I love you ponies. For what little time ive been and got left i hope the best of me was good and you remember me for that. ♡