Any +20/25/30 who lacks of lovelife here?

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

 

 

I am completely and utterly financially destitute so many women wouldn't consider me.

 

For some reason this is something that irks me quite abit in society. One should not base a relationship off of something like money.

 

Example: You find the perfect man/woman,she is everything you ever dreamed about and she/he likes you too! However,she/he finds out your broke and then is no longer interested. 

 

Example 2: Same scenario except you run into financial issues down the line,she/he leaves you because you are now 'broke'

 

So stupid...

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here.

 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Lightwing 12,970]

(Never thought I'd ever use this expression here) WTF are you talking about? Do you have any idea of what I mean? Being alone at this age sucks, and even more when you see other couples having their first kiss, or holding hands and dating and having young love, during that time I had to endure seeing people on Deviantart dedicating pics to their loved ones and talking about their love experiences while I was alone and with no chance of finding anyone (which is even worse now) and facing the fact that I entered a stage of life when love sucks.

 

I missed the opportunity to experience young love and I'll never have it again, that was enough to wreck my happiness and my life forever.

The problem isn't that you found or not the love at a young age.The problem comes from an idea that the actual societ has implanted on our minds.

 

Nowadays,the society has established that the love can be only manifested at young ages,and even middle ages.

 

You said that you were 31 years old.And my question is...And???

 

You still have a long life in front of you.You struck on your mind that "Love can only be showed when one is young".If you're able to forget that idea,you'll take a big step on finding that "love" that you want tp find.

 

And if you're going to tell me that I don't have any idea,think it two times

[Discordian 6,015]

@@Discordian, I can see what you mean. I'm just so... confused about a lot of things, though.

It's important to clear your mind before even thinking about a relationship for sure. If you are at all in the state of mind where you think "I don't know why someone would date me" then you have to sort that out. Not only do you need to try to fix the things you find undesirable about yourself but you should also work yourself to a mindset where you think you're worth a damn.

 

I think it's important that you figure yourself out and clear the confusion from your mind. Not for the sake of a relationship but for peace of mind. When you're satisfied with yourself it will help with your relationships. You don't have to accept how you are now though. Fix what you can and come to terms with the things that you can't.

 

I'm sorry if that sounds too vague. I'm not very good with helping people.

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

@@Discordian, @@Pinkamena-Pills, @@Starshine,

 

I don't think it's so simple. I used to think like that—all relationships were just about the status, and they aren't actually important.

 

But I don't think like that anymore. I can't quite explain it, it's just a feeling I have. I would seriously rather die tomorrow than live to be a hundred years old without ever experiencing romantic love. Getting old and moldy without having a lifelong partner to share my experiences with is the saddest thing I can imagine.

 

It's not about the status, or bragging rights, or whatever. I'm just so tired of feeling a lack of connection to anyone, not being able to experience the great things in life that others brag about. I'm tired of feeling left out, forgotten, and less important than every other person on the entire planet. The amount of loneliness I feel is staggering, almost unfathomable.

 

I understand that love requires compromises, and I would not be quick to jump into a relationship with anyone I wouldn't find compatibility with. But obviously, there should be at least one person on the planet who I should be compatible with. The question is... when? Where are they? How can I find them? How long will it take?

 

I don't care about my career or anything at all, really. My life is meaningless if I don't have anyone to share it with. What good is a bucketload of money if I don't have anything (or anyone) to spend it on?

Edited July 5, 2014 by Regulus

[Brony Number 42 10,069]

I've said in other posts, being single rocks! I never had a girlfriend and kissed a girl when I was 28 and that's it. But I have a good job and make a lot of money, and I don't have anyone spending it or nagging me.

 

The fact is that a lot of women just want a guy for his money. I see that all the time in the oil field work. You have to realize that having a girlfriend creates a very high probability that you will have kids. Do you really want that? I don't think many guys look at the long term consequences. If you want to get married and have a family, then fine. But you can't have a girlfriend and think everything is going to be sex and good times with no consequences. I think that in the vast majority of the cases, people end up pregnant without intending to and it ruins their life (in my jaded opinion). 

 

So if you don't want kids, like me, then not having a girlfriend is a good thing.

[RainbowMau 291]

You said that you were 31 years old.And my question is...And???

 

 

No, I'm 28, PegaMister is the one with 31.

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,161]

Well, I'm a little complicated in this regard.

 

I'm 28, and I have been in three official relationships. Two of which were in high school, but they didn't last long. I have actually kissed a girl, and we actually made out, and honestly...it was one of the greatest feelings ever. I don't know how to describe it, but...something.

 

Anywho, neither of those two lasted long because I really wasn't mentally mature enough to handle them, being a little more selfish and not knowing how to deal with the clinginess of the second relationship. They were both sweet girls in hindsight, but at the same time it was for the best. We remained on good terms though.

 

The third was really the relationship that helped shaped me who I am, and left me with a good perspective on women. She and I actually shared a few interests and were able to build conversations around them; we even had our own nightly RPs where we could build on ideas and develop characters. This was an online relationship, but we felt close in spirit. It lasted the longest from 2003 to 2007, and when it ended, it REALLY hurt, but I understood her point of view.

 

As it stands I am open to a relationship, but I won't be pushy for one. If I find a woman who I can relate to well enough and we get to know one another, then I have no issue with it; online or personal.

 

However, I also enjoy being single and have built a nice perspective on relationships and individuals needing to compromise for their own benefit.

 

On the other hand, being single leads to people not leaving you alone in trying to hook you up with co-workers, and it leads to certain family members questioning your sexuality and mental state. *Sigh.*

 

It's great to have someone you love and hold dear, but being single has its benefits as well. I think deep down I want a relationship with someone, but I won't base my whole life and well-being around it.

[Discordian 6,015]

For some reason this is something that irks me quite abit in society. One should not base a relationship off of something like money.

 

Example: You find the perfect man/woman,she is everything you ever dreamed about and she/he likes you too! However,she/he finds out your broke and then is no longer interested. 

 

Example 2: Same scenario except you run into financial issues down the line,she/he leaves you because you are now 'broke'

 

So stupid...

It's not as simple as that. Financial stability is important for quality of lifestyle. I'm not saying you have to buy someone the world or anything but if you can't buy your way out of a paper bag then how are you going to support yourself, the person you are with and potential future children or pets. It's not about assigning monetary value to a relationship. It's about survivability of a family unit. When you enter a relationship you potentially become responsible for the well-being of more than just yourself. Money is important for that.

[Lightwing 12,970]

No, I'm 28, PegaMister is the one with 31.

Oh,forgive me for my confussion :3

 

But the same thing applies even if you're 28

[Discordian 6,015]

@@Discordian, @@Pinkamena-Pills, @@Starshine,

 

I don't think it's so simple. I used to think like that—all relationships were just about the status, and they aren't actually important.

 

But I don't think like that anymore. I can't quite explain it, it's just a feeling I have. I would seriously rather die tomorrow than live to be a hundred years old without ever experiencing romantic love. Getting old and moldy without having a lifelong partner to share my experiences with is the saddest thing I can imagine.

 

It's not about the status, or bragging rights, or whatever. I'm just so tired of feeling a lack of connection to anyone, not being able to experience the great things in life that others brag about. I'm tired of feeling left out, forgotten, and less important than every other person on the entire planet. The amount of loneliness I feel is staggering, almost unfathomable.

 

I understand that love requires compromises, and I would not be quick to jump into a relationship with anyone I wouldn't find compatibility with. But obviously, there should be at least one person on the planet who I should be compatible with. The question is... when? Where are they? How can I find them? How long will it take?

 

I don't care about my career or anything at all, really. My life is meaningless if I don't have anyone to share it with. What good is a bucketload of money if I don't have anything (or anyone) to spend it on?

People seem to be confusing what I'm saying. It's not about social status, money or anything like that. Relationships are more than just "I like you and you like me". Especially long-lasting ones. You're planning your life around spending time with this person. Your life. Relationsships aren't a game. It's a lifestyle change. You have to consider all portions of your life when making that change and they have to do the same.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Discordian

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

It's not as simple as that. Financial stability is important for quality of lifestyle. I'm not saying you have to buy someone the world or anything but if you can't buy your way out of a paper bag then how are you going to support yourself, the person you are with and potential future children or pets. It's not about assigning monetary value to a relationship. It's about survivability of a family unit. When you enter a relationship you potentially become responsible for the well-being of more than just yourself. Money is important for that.

And what if you are just unable to do that for one reason or another,and the only reason you were dump is because of financial issues. That's what i was talking about.

 

 

 

I don't care about my career or anything at all, really. My life is meaningless if I don't have anyone to share it with. What good is a bucketload of money if I don't have anything (or anyone) to spend it on?

 

Uh,yourself? Don't sit here and give me the 'my life is meaningless without a partner' speech,because that's not fair to do to yourself lol.

 

Life is random,you have just as good of a chance to find nobody as you do to actually find somebody. Its like expecting the coin to land on heads when you know it has a chance to land on tails.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Silver Letter 1,832]

Well, I only had one relationship ever and it didn't work out because the person was not that smart or compromising. I am 27 so I can say that I at least go to experience the illusion of what a relationship is supposed to stand for. There is no way I'll have another though. I am not fortunate enough in life for such things.

[Discordian 6,015]

And what if you are just unable to do that for one reason or another,and the only reason you were dump is because of financial issues. That's what i was talking about.

Which is completely different than what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about breaking up over money. One's financial situation is something to pay attention to for more reasons than just whether you can buy someone something. If someone is reckless with money then what does that say about their character? If someone has a bad habit of gambling more money then they have, then why would you entrust your money to them or let them be anywhere around it? If someone can't even hold down a job because they are a lazy slob then why do you think they'd put any more effort into the relationship and spending time with you than they put into their jobs?

 

It's not about the money. It's about what the money and situation implies. And like I said: It's different for everyone. For some that's far less important. It's very possible to understand one's situation and be able to look past it but there will inevitably be people who equally can't look past that sort of thing because it worries them.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Discordian

[Starshine 16,333]

I missed the opportunity to experience young love and I'll never have it again, that was enough to wreck my happiness and my life forever.

 

Unless you're 40+ years old, I can't see how you've missed the opportunity to find that perfect someone. Contrary to popular beliefs, it's perfectly possible to start a long-lasting romantic life even when you're no longer twenties.

 

You entered a stage where love sucks...? I'm not sure if I follow. You adore the idea of having a special someone but you think love sucks?

 

It's not about the status, or bragging rights, or whatever. I'm just so tired of feeling a lack of connection to anyone, not being able to experience the great things in life that others brag about. I'm tired of feeling left out, forgotten, and less important than every other person on the entire planet. The amount of loneliness I feel is staggering, almost unfathomable.

 

I understand that love requires compromises, and I would not be quick to jump into a relationship with anyone I wouldn't find compatibility with. But obviously, there should be at least one person on the planet who I should be compatible with. The question is... when? Where are they? How can I find them? How long will it take?

 

I don't care about my career or anything at all, really. My life is meaningless if I don't have anyone to share it with. What good is a bucketload of money if I don't have anything (or anyone) to spend it on?

 

Hm, I can understand that feeling to an extent :z

 

Still, obsessing about it wouldn't help anyone. The only way out of this that I can think of is to actually make yourself known to the world. The perfect lady might be out there, but she wouldn't be yours if she couldn't noticed you.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

@@Discordian,Well that's what i was talking about,and the only reason i quoted that part of your post is because it reminded me of that particular scenario.  

 

Lets not start going around in circles because we aren't on the same page lol.

[Discordian 6,015]

If I may extend this argument:

 

Financial security / wealth is one facet of consideration for a relationship. There seems to be a misconception (I blame Hollywood) that love should be this everlasting product that should never cost anything (money or otherwise). Love or friendship is a give and take situation where both parties are looking for mutual gratification.

I hate that misconception. Love is more than just a simple attraction. If the only thing you're considering is how you feel about a person it's more akin to infatuation.

 

People believe you don't have to put any work into relationships or even if they know that they don't know exactly what that entails. Financial stability is often a part of this work. You are mixing your entire life with theirs. Work, play, responsbility, sex, family, hobbies...everything. Money will have a large part to play in it whether it's important to them or not. It's not exactly anyone's place to tell anyone else how much importance they should put on that sort of thing.

@@Discordian,Well that's what i was talking about,and the only reason i quoted that part of your post is because it reminded me of that particular scenario.  

 

Lets not start going around in circles because we aren't on the same page lol.

It's just that you're talking in extremes. That doesn't do you or anyone else a whole lot of good and all you'll do is scare yourself or anyone else.

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

 

 

It's just that you're talking in extremes. That doesn't do you or anyone else a whole lot of good and all you'll do is scare yourself or anyone else.

 

Whether it is a extreme or not is besides the point because it happens,which was my point lol. Also im not going to 'scare' anybody,trust me there's a lot more things to be legitimately 'scared' of than a person who will leave you over money.   

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

People seem to be confusing what I'm saying. It's not about social status, money or anything like that. Relationships are more than just "I like you and you like me". Especially long-lasting ones. You're planning your life around spending time with this person. Your life. Relationsships aren't a game. It's a lifestyle change. You have to consider all portions of your life when making that change and they have to do the same.

 

Which I did years ago, when I graduated high school, started feeling really lonely, and realized that I wanted more in life than a simple commitment to riches and beer like a scoundrel. I have higher priorities than that. I'll never be happy if all I do is go to work, play video games, and post on MLP forums. I need a girlfriend. Later on, I'll probably need a wife and a family to call my own.

 

I totally get what you're saying. Relationships should be taken seriously, I agree. But in the past, I knew this, and I contemplated asking anyone out for that reason, well beyond the point of being Twilight-esque and overanalytical. I used that line of thinking as an excuse to hide in my fear of approaching people and being intimate.

 

I would never say I want a relationship without at least considering the consequences. Some people do that, but those are generally the 13 or 14 year-old kids in high school who act purely on their impulses, or the college students who just want a night of fun. I had those impulses but I ignored them, thinking I was being smart. Now that I'm at the point in my life where I do consider myself to be ready for a relationship, I feel like I would be torturing myself by denying myself of happiness, if I didn't persue a potential long-lasting relationship.

 

 

Uh,yourself? Don't sit here and give me the 'my life is meaningless without a partner' speech,because that's not fair to do to yourself lol.

 

I knew someone would say this. But fair enough, I'll explain.

 

Yeah, I get your point. It's my money, and I should spend it on myself. I'll concede. I'll give you that.

 

But the thing is, there's only so much that I need, y'know? I need a house, food, water, utilities, clothes, a car, a computer, and so on. When I do get a job, my salary will easily cover all of that. In fact, as an engineering student, I may be making 2-3x the amount of money that I'll need to cover all my basic expenses.

 

I will have a lot of money left over... money to spend on a nice car like a corvette, or a bigger house, or a liquid-cooled, 16-core, quad-SLi computer. But I would much, much, much rather spend that money on a fancy dinner for two or a vacation trip to Hawaii. A bigger house doesn't mean much if I'm the only one living in it. I don't need that much space. A nice car doesn't mean much if I can't take anyone for a ride in it. You get the idea now, right?

 

 

 

Hm, I can understand that feeling to an extent :z

 

Still, obsessing about it wouldn't help anyone. The only way out of this that I can think of is to actually make yourself known to the world. The perfect lady might be out there, but she wouldn't be yours if she couldn't noticed you.

 

Thanks for the advice, but it's a little harder than that for me. I'm half Twilight Sparkle and half Fluttershy. Going out in being known to the world goes against my personal nature. Making myself noticed isn't something that I do unless I'm really desperate.

 

Obviously I can't find someone if I never look, but I also face another dillema. I need to find someone who is okay with the fact that I'm socially awkward and shy as hell. Chances are, that person is just as much of a recluse as I am, and is hiding from attention in the same way that I've been for most of my life.

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

You may call me a loser, but at 28 I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone and never dated anyone, mostly because of my terrible shyness and lack of acceptance from people I'm probably the only one like this here, or probably not?

 

Are you one of us?

23, same story, want to get married, not feeling any pressure, not worried at all.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

@,Uhhh..then don't buy a over sized house if your so concerned with space lol. 

 

Meh different strokes i guess,do w/e you feel best,but acting like your life is pointless because you don't have anyone to spend it with is silly to me.

[EndtheRaven 161]

I'm 21, though haven't dated anyone in over two years. My last relationship was rather upsetting and made me give up on dating people all together. And I'm too nervous and shy to find anyone else anyway. I've just been learning to accept that I'll always live alone, just don't see the point anymore. I don't want children, and marriage seems less and less appealing to me everyday.

 

Now if only Fluttershy was real...... ;.;

Edited July 5, 2014 by EndtheRaven

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

@,Uhhh..then don't buy a over sized house if your so concerned with space lol. 

 

Meh different strokes i guess,do w/e you feel best,but acting like your life is pointless because you don't have anyone to spend it with is silly to me.

 

Understandably so. I can see why you would think that, as I once did.

 

There's a lot of research that's been done on the subject. It's pretty well-known that people who are lonely tend to be depressed and life unfulfilling lives. Only very few people have the capability to be satisfied living alone, and that's likely due to a neurological disorder of some sort.  For just about anyone, social interaction goes from a want to a need at some point. The same is true for love and romance. For most people, it is a need.

 

I mean, look at Pinkie Pie when she thinks her friends left her. She loses her mind and befriends inanimate objects. Look at that movie with the guy on the deserted island... I forget what it's called, but he gets lonely and creates a volleyball to be his friend. That's how powerful lonelieness is. The need for companionship is second only to having food, water, and a safe place to sleep.

 

If you've never experienced it first-hand, consider yourself lucky. The fact that you think it's silly only means that you've never experienced having less social interaction than you need. If and when you do get to that point, you'll know.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Regulus