Oc Help a bit?

[Tao 7,802]

I was wondering if I could get some feed back on my new oc: Smokey Gold!  Anything is a welcome from deign ref to his back story and etc...:http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/smokey-gold-r7762

[Antidaeophobia 299]

Looks good so far, I think you're on the right track. He looks like an interesting character, and you seem to have thought things through. The colours work well together, and his design fits well with his backstory. He has a good amount of positive and negative traits to make him interesting, and I think you'll be able to do alot with this character.

[DormantAccount 308]

Some Pointers:

 

Typo in that he puts on a "hate"

In universe Appleoosa has been built in just the past year. For a western feel, I made mine from Dodge Junction since we don't have a date on that.

I tend to look at the Equestrian Empire guidelines for a good gauge on these things.

He'll never make it in there as is. (I'm aware that you're going for just the Everfree right now, but you might want to join the empire one day, so it is something to consider) Firearms aren't really a thing in the MLP universe.

One question. In what way is tracking useful in the MLP universe? Ponies don't eat meat. At most, they eat eggs and dairy. Also, we haven't really seen anyone wearing fur, so it seems the reaction to his profession would be less than enthusiatic.

 

It's a nice western story and would work in most universes, but he seems to have a lot of conflicts when you try to push him into Equestria.

[Tao 7,802]

@@DexterousWings

I thought of joining the Equestrian Empire once I got two well around OC's,  and Smokey is still in his "beta" steps but it took me to get a good backbone  story!

 

In what way is tracking useful in the MLP universe?

 

I would say yes if some ponies say young ones get lost and you might not have unicorn with a spell to find them or peggy to look from the sky and even if you do,  they still might not see those "little clues" that would help them in the search.  Or if say bandits steal something and leave more than one trail to confuse who is looking for them,   a tracker could mostly likely find the right tail.

 

 

Firearms aren't really a thing in the MLP universe.

 

Why I did it,  given the tech we have seen they have of the none magic,  guns could be made in a real sense a bit.  Having a OC also use a "outlawed " weapon adds to the conflict and how others will interact with him in the long run!

 

And ponies have to deal with a lot of other creatures who are wild and not "Tamed" in their everyday life and all the more if they are living next in the Everfree and Lost Lands and other parts.   If looking in a more real sense,  a pony is a meal to any large hunter type and having a tracker/hunter around to deal with such animals is a good thing.

 

It's a nice western story and would work in most universes, but he seems to have a lot of conflicts when you try to push him into Equestria.

 

More the reason to use him!  He makes conflict which can also move a story and push others to use their own OC/Cannon in different ways than they might if things stay all nice and fluffy!

 

@@Antidaeophobia,

 

Thanks,  been working on him a bit and i plan to rework parts of his history in a few places!

[DormantAccount 308]

I don't really agree with your points on firearms, but it is your OC after all.

 

Maybe you should be more detailed in his job description to clarify it more.

 

I guess the reason I don't care for things that break with canon so severely is because it does tend to unbalance the world. It's like alicorn OCs all over again. It can have a habit of making solutions to problems less clever than playing with restrictions. Conflict? Just shoot it or have the alicorn just trump everything anyone else is doing.

[Tao 7,802]

I don't really agree with your points on firearms, but it is your OC after all.

 

Maybe you should be more detailed in his job description to clarify it more.

 

I guess the reason I don't care for things that break with canon so severely is because it does tend to unbalance the world. It's like alicorn OCs all over again. It can have a habit of making solutions to problems less clever than playing with restrictions. Conflict? Just shoot it or have the alicorn just trump everything anyone else is doing.

 

I plan too, I'm going to do more research into "trackers" and such to give him a better solid ground to stand on a bit.

 

Yah, a Alicorn oc can be done right if they well worked, but to have em just "poof up" is a  bit of nerve...