request No good at summaries

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

So i'm going to try again at fimfiction, but i'll need help with the summary for Broken Promise.

 

So this s what i have:

 

What i was going for is they have a contest of who can hold their liquor; Rain being weak at it loses ten times, but this will be the eleventh time. But this time i have Rain win it, but just barely; Solar gets him a mare for the night; but in the morning; Rain tells Solar where he got the money from, he had stolen a possession of one of the princesses; a crime that can't be forgiven; and a high sentence if he was ever found out.

 

But during a drink at the bar, Solar lets it slip out and one off duty guard catches wind of it; and arrests Rain for the crime. Face to face with Celestia and Luna, he does apologizes. But this act will not go unpunished; even if he had no choice; theft is a crime in Equestria that is frowned upon harshly; and so is the sentence he receives. 15-25 years in prison.  Solar gets the news from a friend, and is devastated by it; he couldn't remember any of last night. The only thing he remembers is Rain explanation of that crime and feeling a bit disappointed in him.

 

Rain sends letters, and prays that Solar will come visit him; but he doesn't come. This makes Rain fall into a depression and he accepts that Solar has abandoned him; but figures out how the guards found out. Crying, all he can do is serve his sentence and hope Solar will at least come by and apologize. ten years pass by; not a word. Solar has betrayed his trust, this friendship is in question as Rain curls up on his bed.

 

Why would he not come? Did he not care? These thoughts are what race through his head for days.

Meanwhile Solar sits at his desk, hard cider in front of him; he has broken the promise he made to Rain; never to tell a soul about what happened. But it was his stupidity to get drunk that sealed his friend's fate.

Edited June 9, 2015 by Candy Star

[Mars Orbit 729]

Solar is a drunken dumbnut?

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Both Rain and Solar do drink, but not that often; its usually when they have their competitions that they tend to overdo it.

Edited June 9, 2015 by Candy Star

[Mars Orbit 729]

Ah alright one more shot!

 

Rain stole something (and apparently sold it) and used the money to pay for a drinking contest.

 

Solar, who was drunk, said something about the crime in front of a guard and rain got in trouble for it and after trying to apologize, was sent to jail.

 

Solar is a jerk who abandons his friends after screwing them over.

 

Solar is actually beating himself up on the inside for sending his friend to jail.

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

I'm thinking you misunderstood, Solar didn't abandon him; just couldn't face him as he was. Depressed and drinking a lot out of guilt.

Edited June 9, 2015 by Candy Star

[Mars Orbit 729]

Ffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee

 

Rain stole something and (apparently sold it) and used the money to pay for drinks.

 

While drunk solar went ahead and accidentally told a guard anout the theft.

 

Rain was sent to jail and solar never visited him. This leads rain to question their friendship.

 

Meanwhile, solar sits at home drinking because he couldn't face what he did

[LordSwinton 759]

If you're going to write it in first person you could do a sort of reminiscing hook for your summary.

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

If you're going to write it in first person you could do a sort of reminiscing hook for your summary.

I'm not able to focus on keeping it like that, i can do it for maybe 2 sentences; but then lose sight of what i was doing.