Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"Pinkie, if, um, it isn't too much trouble, can I have extra bacon with my pancakes?"

- Fluttershy

 

"Ya'll hurry and wring a couple hen's necks, Big Mac! I'm a fancyin' to make up a batch a my famous fried chicken tonight!"

- Granny Smith

 

"I have to get back to the Human World soon. Spike, what was that dish I liked so much called?"

- Twilight

 

"Oh, you mean liver, smothered in bacon and onions. That was good, but when I caught up with that kitten...Boy, that was tasty!"

- Spike

 

"Twilight, I was only in the Human World for a short time, but when you visited, did you ever make time to take the tour of the glue factory? It was fascinating!"

- Starlight Glimmer

 

 

 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"I ate your mom's head for breakfast."
- Pinkie Pie

 

"Do you like scary movies?"
- Rainbow Dash

 

"Sorry, I'm late, I was just practicing CPR with Trix--...Uhh..I mean helping Trixie with a magic trick."
- Starlight Glimmer 

 

"You're naked. You have no clothes on. Why don't you have any clothes on?"
- Anyone

 

[Luigi 7,870]

(Ring Ring Ring)

Twilight Sparkle: Hello?

Rainbow Dash: Reporting in, Twilight!

Twilight: Rainbow Dash? Where the heck are you? Have you found anypony?

Rainbow: Yes. I'm in Pewter City in Northwestern Kanto right now. Just to the east of here I found Fluttershy.

Twilight: Is she okay?

Rainbow: Yes, but when I found her, she was asleep and had marker drawings on her face. 

Twilight: Is she there?

Rainbow: Yes. Hang on just one moment.

(Fluttershy takes the phone away from Rainbow Dash)

Fluttershy: Hello?

Twilight: Fluttershy, what happened?

Fluttershy: I was taking a walk when I heard a beautiful voice singing. When Rainbow woke me up, she brought me to a mirror, and I saw marker on my face. 

Twilight: Did you happen to see what was singing?

Fluttershy: Why no, I didn't.

Twilight: (sighs)

[cmarston1 5,959]

Starlight Glimmer:  Who are you?

Tempest Shadow: I'm you, but stronger.

[O-78 28,606]

Twilight Sparkle: "We're going to open a home for retarded ponies who want to work their way into the community!"

Fluttershy: "Not in my backyard!"

[Sparklefan1234 171,160]

Twilight Sparkle: "Waiter? May I please have some more bacon on my hayburger?" 

[Luigi 7,870]

Zecora: The dead shall rise! (Plays the Organ) And the living shall be their SLAVES! (Plays the organ some more, but then sees Twilight) SHE MUST BE STOPPED!

 

Shining Armor: Do you see anything?

Twilight: Yes. OH MY! Princess Celestia has been captured!

Nightmare Moon: YOU ARE MY PRISONER!

Flash Sentry: You think you can just do whatever you want?

Nightmare Moon: SILENCE!!!!! Trixie! Keep that pony in chains!

Trixie: Yes, master!

 

Twilight: Trixie looks pretty dangerous.

Trixie: Ready? Am I here, or here, or here?

(Shining Armor hits Trixie with one magic shot)

Trixie: Ouch! 

Shining Armor: You there! Take her away!

Royal Guard Pony: Yes, my leige.

 

(Shining Armor and Twilight rescue Flash Sentry)

Flash Sentry: Captain Shining Armor! King Sombra betrayed the Princess!

Shining Armor: Really?

Flash Sentry: Hit the head of the portrait to enter Sombra's chamber!

Shining Armor: Thanks. Let's go, Twilight!

 

King Sombra: Don't hurt me, Shining Armor! I'll tell you the secret way into Trotsong Palace!

Shining Armor: You better talk fast!

King Sombra: Go all the way left and move the rock. This key opens the gate.

Flash Sentry: I'll make sure he doesn't get away!

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: What's this? There's technology all about. What's this? I have clothes on now. Oh look a door. I can't use my magic. What is this?!

 

Starlight Glimmer: You shouldn't dismiss Twilight. She's finished your spell.

Starswirl: My spell? *Looks over the spell.* What did you do to my waifu spell?!

Twilight Sparkle: Waifu spell?

Starswirl: Yes. The spell that would allow me to create any kind of waifu I wanted without having to waste time on all that romantic non-sense. I'm busy and straight to the point.

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, boy.

Starswirl: Look at this work. It's terrible like some bad fan-fiction. She completely warped it to screw with reality and ascend like she's some goddess.

 

Starlight Glimmer: Do you think I care if Sunburst doesn't pay any attention to me? I can be friends with any guy. Heck, I will mind control all the colts in this town and make them my harem.

Trixie: Wait even the old ones?

Starlight Glimmer: I don't have standards!

 

Trixie: I think we should do something naughty.

Starlight Glimmer: I'm in.

*Starlight rings Twilight's doorbell and hides.*
Twilight: *Opens door.* Hello. Huh, no one here. *Looks down to see a paper bag on fire.* Really?

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Singe

[Luigi 7,870]

Princess Celestia: I wonder what's for dinner.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"Stop bugging us! You'll get your darn Cutey Mark when you're ready, Not a second sooner!"

- The CMC (In unison)

"Rarity, I can't thank you enough for framing Wind Rider for sending that fake letter from Spitfire's mom!"

- Rainbow Dash

"Darling, it was nothing. After one date with me, Wind Rider was willing to say anything I wanted hi to say. You keep paying the bits, and I'll keep my mouth shut about you also having a scarf with Chocolate Ganache stains on it!"

- Rarity

 

 

 

 

 

[DragonMind 1]

Applejack: You STOLE that?!

Rarity: I didn’t steal it, darling, I just borrowed it!

Applejack: ...

Rarity: ...Without any intention of return

Just now, DragonMind said:

Applejack: You STOLE that?!

Rarity: I didn’t steal it, darling, I just borrowed it!

Applejack: ...

Rarity: ...Without any intention of return

Oops, early send ;-;

rarity: Without any intention of returning it.

[RDDash 19,184]

Pinkie Pie:  Twilight and Spike you and him... Eeeew

Twilight: We are not related!

Rainbow Dash: What's going on?

Pinkie Pie bounces over to Rainbow and whispers in her ear.

Rainbow: Eeeew Spike that gross

Twilight: I just said, we are not related.

Pinkie Pie: Wait, I thought Spike likes Rarity.

Twilight slams her head into the floor.

Edited December 8, 2018 by R.D.Dash

[Sparklefan1234 171,160]

Barry the Bear: I don't like the beach. 

Gummy: Why doesn't anypony ask me how *I'm* doing? 

Maud: Rocks are boring...I prefer metal. 

[O-78 28,606]

Twilight [to Spike]: "Move up, motherfucker! Take up the slack!"

Rarity: "Bake me a fucking loaf of bread! A couple of corn muffins, a jelly donut, I don't give a shit! I'm in the market for quality baked goods!"

Marble Pie: "Ratshit, batshit, dirty old twat! Sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot! Hooraaaaaay, lizard shit, FUCK!!!"

[Luigi 7,870]

Flash Sentry: Here's the traitor, Princess Celestia!

King Sombra: Please, your highness. Have mercy!

Princess Celestia: After you've scrubbed all the floors in Equestria, then we can talk about mercy! TAKE HIM AWAY!

Shining Armor: Yes, my leige. 

[Singe 2,111]

Bow Hothoof: How would you like to see Rainbow Dash's birth certificate?

Scootaloo: Yes!

Bow Hothoof: Here it is.

Scootaloo: Wait, why does it have Rainbow then the second word is scratch out and has Dash written above it?

Bow Hothoof: Oops. I forgot I had the original. Okay, so the real truth is that her name was really Rainbow Rain.

Scootaloo: Rainbow Rain?

Bow Hothoof: Like an uncontrollable rain cloud she was a flood that hit her room every few nights.

Scootaloo: Oh my gosh. I have to take a note of this.

Bow Hothoof: Just promise to keep it between us. We had to pay for therapy to get her out of the habit, and the therapist said that any mention of the name could trigger an episode.

 

Lightning Dust: If you were going to back out, I would have done the stunt. Stupid kid making me look like a fool while wasting my time and money. Those rockets were not cheap.

 

Flim  You're a bunch of ponies that want to learn about friendship.

Flam: Right. but you must also feel lousy and pathetic.

Flim: Well of course. I would too, if I needed a princess to tell me I'm bad and have her hold my hoof.

Flam: Making friends isn't that hard. Just turn to the pony next to you and greet them.

Flim and Flam: Then pay us, 50 bits.

 

Fluttershy: You need to apologize to him now.

Pony: No way. That bear was going to eat me and I was right to use my bear pepper spray on him.

Fluttershy: He was just saying, hello.

 

Applejack: I can't believe it. Flim and Flam got me arrested for violating a restraining order. Is there no justice in this kingdom?!

Edited December 10, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Applejack: Rarity, why did you call the cops on me? I was just trying to fix the mess I caused for the fashion show.

Rarity: Kidnapping and holding them against their will is not what I call fixing.

 

Rarity: Spike, why don't you tell everyone how much you love me?

Spike: Well every night before bed....

Rarity: Okay, that's enough. I'm sure most get the idea of what boys do in that scenario.

 

Lightning Dust: You make this jump, you can call me what ever you want.

Scootaloo: Cool. I'm going to call you *bleep* *bleeper*.

Lightning Dust: You swear?

Scootaloo: I learned it from Rainbow Dash when she's alone letting off steam.

 

Rarity: Sassy, what part of I'm running a boutique and not a sweat shop you didn't get?

 

Princess Celestia: A letter from my faithful student.....*snort*. Just another complaint about Twilight again. I swear she can't do anything right.

Edited December 12, 2018 by Singe

[O-78 28,606]

Cloudchaser: "Stop being pushy!"

Flitter: "Don't call me pushy!"

Cloudchaser: "You shouldn't have pushed me into the cart!"

Flitter: "You pulled me, you mean!"

Cloudchaser: "Didn't!"

Flitter: "Did!"

Cloudchaser: "Did not!"

Flitter: "Did too!"

[Arkadios 91]

Starlight Glimmer: When I was in the human world, I found this really cool book series called the Foundation series, and there was this one character, the Mule, that really spoke to me.

[Sparklefan1234 171,160]

@Baby Dashie

 

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, would you come here for a moment please? 

Spike: Sure, Twilight. What's up? 

Twilight Sparkle: I've hired something called a "Yoshi" to help you with your chores, isn't that wonderful? 

Spike: Awesome! 

 

Edited December 16, 2018 by Sparklefan1234

[cmarston1 5,959]

Pinkie Pie: Grr! No! You're not understanding me! I want you to confess!

Spike: Confess?

Pinkie Pie: Confess!

Spike: I'm the one who spilled juice all over Twilight's copy of "Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions"!

Pinkie Pie: And?

Spike: And I'm the one who used up all the hot water in Ponyville yesterday when I took a seven-hour bubble bath!

Pinkie Pie: Aaand?

Spike: And I was the guy who thought killing off Adam in Voltron was a good idea.

 

[Sparklefan1234 171,160]

*Princess Luna after being sent to the moon*: I'm perfectly fine with this new living situation. 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,679]

Fluttershy: Badgers? Badgers?! We don't need no stinking badgers!!!

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

Applejack dear, your brother true

Has caused me this month, the feelings so blue

If he doesn't marry me, before I swell

His life  here in Ponyville, I will make a living Hell!

Uh Zecora, I, don't understand ya there.

You brother convinced me, against all good sense

That I needed to take no internal defense

Zecora, um, what are ya getting at? Did Big Mac...?

Applejack dear, just tell him this

My accurate monthly, he caused me to miss

If wedding bells don't ring astoundingly quick

I will take a big knife and cut off his...

"OH! I get ya! Zecora don't you worry none! Granny and I will arrange a good ol' Shotgun wedding!"

[Singe 2,111]

Rainbow Dash: My friends almost got killed.

Lightning Dust: I dance with death all the time and he can get very possessive.

Random Pegasus: She is so awesome!

Rainbow Dash: Huh?

 

Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. I will fix this mess. This I swear, so says Rainbow Dash!

 

Rainbow Dash: Aren't you being too rough with the other cadets?

Lightning Dust: No, because they shouldn't be in our way.

Rainbow Dash: How can you say that?

Lightning Dust: No, really. We're like the fastest and best fliers here. It doesn't make any sense there would be others in front of us because you seen how they paced themselves.

Rainbow Dash: Huh...I never thought of it.

 

Rainbow Dash: Guess what? I learned a new trick.

Scootaloo: Let me guess, another flight formation

Rainbow Dash: No....it's new and experimental concept of a flight formation. Instead of turning left, I turn right. Amazing right?

Scootaloo: Yeah.......neato.

Rainbow Dash: I know right.

Edited December 17, 2018 by Singe