Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Luigi 7,870]

(Metal Gear Solid AUX Call)

Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, do you know who that is?

Twilight Sparkle: Of course I do. It's Mario!

Princess Celestia: That's right. I remember playing the original Donkey Kong arcade game in 1981 where he made his first appearance. He's certainly the greatest gaming icon of all time. I just wonder what he's doing in Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle: Maybe he's on vacation. Any sign of The Odyssey? I wonder if he'll sign an autograph for me.

Celestia: This is a once in a lifetime chance, Twilight. Now get out there and show him what your made of! No regrets!

Twilight: Got it!

(Call ends)

[Singe 2,111]

Princess Ember: We respect your impressive display of violence and you have our undivided attention.

 

Rarity: I can't let the others know I sneak off to Las Pegasus as a trophy girl and flirt with guys for their money.

 

Starlight Glimmer: I learned my lesson.

Rainbow Dash: Maybe do us a favor and get to learning about not doing stupid anymore.

Starlight Glimmer: I think that applies to all of you, too.

*Random mumbling from each of the Mane 6.agreeing.*

 

Pinkie Pie: I really want to hit Maud's boyfriend with a large stick, but I'm afraid he'll just ramble on. Always correcting me.

[RDDash 19,184]

Twilight Velvet : Shinning Armor you are adopted.

[Luigi 7,870]

(Metal Gear Solid AUX Call)

Twilight Sparkle: It's LUIGI! Finally! Someone I can relate to.

Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight! That's Mario's BROTHER!!!! He's a lot more famous than you are!

Twilight: I know, but I've always lived in my brother's shadow. He's got everything, and I'm single. (Sniff)

Rainbow: Just a bit of advice, Twilight. If Luigi brings out his Poltergust, watch out. It CAN get you.

(Twilight starts crying)

Rainbow: Uhh, Twilight! Are you okay?

(Twilight is still crying)

Rainbow: Twilight! Snap out of it!!! Twilight!!! TWIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!

(Call ends)

[Aurora Wolf 2,354]

Applejack: Wait! You're tellin' me that a Space Warrior was spotted in Ponyville?

Big Mcintosh: Eeyup! Samus Aran.

Applejack: That's so excitin'! I wonder what he's like.

Big McIntosh: Little Sis!

Applejack: I want to know if he's been to the moon. He may have even been to the sun.

Rainbow Dash: Uhh, Applejack.

Applejack: I got to get his autograph! I would bet it's worth more than any autograph Rainbow's ever gotten. He's got to be the most handsome warrior who ever lived!

Rainbow Dash: Shouldn't we tell her, Big Mac?

(Big Mac nods his head yes)

[Luigi 7,870]

Chancellor Neighsay: NO, NO, NOT THE BEES!!!! NOT THE BEES!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RDDash 19,184]

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie there is something I really wanted to tell you about your sister Maud.

Pinkie Pie: Yes.

Rainbow Dash: Ever since she got this new boyfriend of hers she really did became that really unpleasant pretentious smug little 

[Flutterstep 47,088]

Fluttershy: Can I nom your tail? 

Applejack: What in bucks name is wrong with ya girl?! 

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

Rainbow Dash: Wow, Spike,  that was totally awesome! Thank Celestia you were here to help us out.

Twilight Sparkle: Right? What would we ever do without him?

[Singe 2,111]

Pony: I'm going to need some clothes.

Rarity: Well you're in luck because I run a....

Applejack: Just go to the general store over there, they got duds by the dozen cheap.

Rarity: You bite your tongue!

Applejack: Huh...?

Pony: Thanks. *Runs off.*

Rarity: How dare you interrupt me making a sale. I was going to finally make a sale since that general store started selling cheap sweat shop clothes, but noooooo! My business is ruined! *Runs off crying.*

Applejack: *Sigh.* Can't take a little competition.

Rainbow Dash: The general store is selling apple cider all year round! This is awesome!

Applejack: What?!

 

Fluttershy: I hate these new strict laws. Wherever I go with my animal friends, they have to be on a leash. Not only that I have to have a license to care for certain animals. Worst of all is that I have to clean up all the messes my animal friends make or I'll be fined.

 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight: Princess Celestia, I want to open a school that teaches about friendship.

Celestia: *Laughs.*

Twilight: Why are you laughing?

Celestia: Oh Twilight, you have such a silly way of thinking. A school on friendship. Ponies would have to be so utterly pathetic that they are incapable of making friends without a princess to hold their hoof. Come on, you have to give your subjects some dignity.

 

Rarity: Pinkie Pie, I see you're sporting some new oldish look.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, these duds are hand me downs.

Rarity: What's a hand me down?

Pinkie Pie: It's where clothes are passed down from my older siblings.

Rarity: Ew, that nasty thing was worn by some pony else.

Pinkie Pie: My sister is not, ewwwww! You take that back!

 

Applejack: You know Rainbow Dash, for being the fastest pony you sure do take a long time in the bathroom.

 

Discord: Why do you put up with that little devil's behavior?

Fluttershy: Oh, Angel is just mad I had him fixed and can never be with a honey to make lots of bunnies.

 

Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash is so cool. She takes me to go see R rated movies because she can't stand anything PG-13 or younger.

 

Rarity: See Applejack, this is why you ruined the fashion show and in jail. You couldn't take some criticism and burned down her bushes.

Applejack: Strawberry Sunrise got what she deserved for talking trash about my apples.

 

Rarity: This outfit looks amazing and very forward thinking.

Photo Finish: This horrible work looks like trash.

Rarity: Yes, I agree. What were you thinking putting this mess in front of us.

 

Pinkie Pie: This party is lame. It needs booze, lots of booze.

 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,679]

Twilight Sparkle: We don't need a check list!

[imawesome 449]

Twlight Sparkle: "Spike, I want you to die horribly in the most awful way possible because I hate you so much."

Fluttershy: "Nature? PAH! World domination is more up MY alley!"

Applejack: "I'll do anything you ask, whenever you ask it, without question or any restraint."

Rainbow Dash: "I'm the worst flyer in ALL OF EQUESTRIA!"

Rarity: "I never cared about fashion and I live in a hut."

Pinkie Pie: C'mon everypony frown frown frown fill my heart up with misery, misery..." 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: We can't stop King Sombra.

Shining Armor: I have an idea. Go to my room and get my card deck. Then challenge him to a children's card game.

Twilight Sparkle: What?! Have you lost your mind. That's not going to work.

Shining Armor: Trust me. It's the only hope.

*Later.*
Twilight Sparkle: Sombra....

Sombra: Crystals.

Twilight Sparkle: I challenge.....this is so stupid. I challenge you to a duel!

Sombra: Ah! I left my deck way back there. Give me half a day and I'll bring it. Then we can settle this. *Sombra leaves.*

Twilight Sparkle: You're kidding me, that actually worked.

 

Edited January 7, 2019 by Singe

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"Cadence, would you knock it off with that stupid flank shaking lady bug chant!"

- Twilight Sparkle

 

"Yes indeedy doo!"

- Big Mac

 

"Friendship isn't worth the effort. Hey Trix, wanna help me steal cutie marks?"

- Starlight Glimmer

 

"The Mediocre and Weak Trixie wants to take a nap."

- TGP Trixie

 

"Applejack was right. Bats ARE evil!"

- Fluttershy

 

"I don't like pushy mares. I wish Rarity would leave me alone!"

- Spike

 

 

 

 

[Luigi 7,870]

Scootaloo: It's all on this moment.

Spitfire: Here he goes!

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Rainbow Dash: HE MISSED!!!!! 

Soarin: FOLES WINS IT, BABY!

///

Princess Cadance: This isn't what we hoped for, Shiny!

Shining Armor: Don't get cocky! He already has ten misses so far this season!

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Shining Armor: Missed it!

Princess Cadance: Phew! (She kisses Flurry Heart)

///

Sweetie Belle: You think that time out would really work for Doug Pederson?

Rarity: We'll see in a moment, darling.

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Sweetie Belle: WHOA! HE MISSED IT!!!

Rarity: I can finally take a breath again.

///

Fluttershy: Oh my....... (She starts shuddering)

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

(Fluttershy sighs in relief and hugs Angel)

///

Twilight Sparkle: 43 Yards. That should be easy.

Pinkie Pie: You'd think, but it's cold out there.

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Spike: HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!!!!

Twilight: He MISSED?

///

Applejack: Looks like they don't give up.

Applebloom: They must really want it!

Sugar Belle: Let's see how this attempt goes.

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Big MacIntosh: NO GOOD!!!

(The four start cheering)

///

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

(Thorax and all the other changelings start going wild celebrating the missed attempt)

///

(The kick goes up, but hits the upright, bounces off the crossbar, and back onto the 3 yardline)

Princess Celestia: PARKEY MISSED!!!!!

(Luna and Celestia share a hug)

Edited January 8, 2019 by Baby Dashie

[Treeglow Flicker 13,679]

Rainbow Dash: Look... All I'm saying is that we need to be more careful. If we fly too fast we could SERIOUSLY hurt ourselves!

[Singe 2,111]

Celestia: Twilight, I'm going to tell you a secret I've kept from you for a while.

Twilight: What is it?

Celestia: I made you.

Twilight: You made me? You're not real mom.

Celestia: Well, no. I'm not your biological mother and would never subject myself to the humiliation. My role was more of a project manager. I picked your parents and made them get married. Then supervised the entire process of you and Shining Armor's making.

Twilight: Wait are you saying that you watched.... *Gasp.*

Celestia: I told them to make it entertaining.

[RDDash 19,184]

Princess Celestia: I've decided to abolish the gold standard...

pause

... and this whole monarchy thing has to go...

pause

... and I just trippled the defense budget...

pause

... what? Everyone else thinks this country is a joke.. 

pause

... Just this year we were outsmarted by the freaking child...

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: Are you all just making fun of me?

 

Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy, just admit that Zephyr Breeze is adopted.

 

Neighsay: While I do admit that I was wrong about those creatures. You also need to take responsibility of again one of your students going out of control and nearly destroying ponies. I would suggest resigning after this incident with Cozy Glow.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Zecora, I have arthritis flaring up in my wing again.

Zecora: Maybe if you remember that it's a wing and not a hand, it will stop doing that.

 

Applejack: I can't really tell a difference between the cows and bulls. They all look the same.

Pinkie Pie: So that's why it tasted funny.

 

Pinkie Pie: I'm sure you can find Rainbow Dash taking a nap somewhere like over there in those clouds, over there on that building, or over there in that tree. She's really known to sleep around.

Edited January 13, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 19,184]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay new plan, due to the state of the emergency six teachers of this school, including myself, would have to go on the little trip. But it's okay the school is still going to operational

Neighsay: Are you absolutely out of your mind? Closing this school and sending those students safely to their homes is exactly what we should do.

[Singe 2,111]

Starlight Glimmer: Twilight wants me to make some friends. I can do that. Let's see, I could make some friends out of inanimate objects like toys. Talking toys, that's a silly concept. Maybe I could bring some fictional characters to life. That would be easy but they would be so one dimensional and easy to read. I guess that means I'll have to talk to actual ponies which might need some kind of mind control. Screw it, I'll raise the dead. 

 

Twilight Sparkle: So let me get this straight Applejack. You saw Starlight Glimmer having a conversation with your parents. That's amazing.

Applejack: I'm not happy about that as you are.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, right.

[RDDash 19,184]

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie I can't believe you waisted all of our money on sweets, now what we are supposed to do to help out Griffinstone? How are we supposed to go back? 

[cmarston1 5,959]

Sunset Shimmer: How do you know what's good for me?!

Princess Celestia: That's my opinion!

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: I think it's time for me to get to work on those fancy pants. Now drop them.

 

Applejack: That's it, Granny! You're going to the old folks home!

Granny Smith: No please, not that. They'll eat me alive over there!

 

Queen Chrysalis: What can a pathetic joke of princess like you do beside raising the sun?

Celestia: This old horse still knows a few tricks. Solar Flare! *Blinds everyone else in the room.* Oops, I'm still working on that.

 

Luna: What sort of contest is this?

Pinkie Pie: This is a contest about the best pony that can shake their moon. 

Luna: I see. Then I will shake my moon. *Shakes the moon in the sky rapidly.* Did I win? I better since many have died at sea just now.