critique wanted Need help altering my second OC

[Beanie Brony 49]

My second OC is named Photo Shot. He is a unicorn that lived in Canterlot before he moved to Trottingham. He used to be a very emotional young colt, but after an event in his life he decided that emotions were a bad thing. Once he became an adult, he scheduled an appointment with a friend of his who is a surgeon. He then had all the parts of his brain that every emotion came from removed. Since his surgery left scars on his head, he wears a beanie all the time. So now he lives everyday studying everything he doesn't understand. He does anything he wants to or can to get the knowledge he wants. His cutiemark is a thought bubble with a camera. He got a cutiemark when he realized his weird birth defect. He can't use a spell unless he has seen it being used before. Which is why he can mimic spells he has seen other ponies use. How does this tie into his cutiemark? He has a photographic memory, which helps him remember all the spells he's ever seen. It also helps that his most commonly used spell is a spell that turns thought into reality. And that is my OC Photo Shot.

[JetGamma 9]

(I hope I don't come off rude here.)

I don't really think the weird brain surgery thing really applies to his talent. It's just... weird I guess. You could make him naturally act like he does, rather than purposely removing parts of his brain. Those are just my thoughts though.

[Snake 516]

I agree with JetGamma, the surgery seems rather cliche and unneeded. Also, mimicking something like spells seems nearly impossible, things like that require practice.

Also, i'm a bit lost on the spells he uses, turning thought into reality? It might help if you could explain!

[Black Sabbath 2,486]

Yeah, he seems ridiculously OP with the whole turning thought into reality thing.

 

EDIT: Also, what happened that made him remove all of his emotions?

Edited October 28, 2015 by Yamet

[SFyr 1,982]

I'm not quite sure what area you're primarily looking at in terms of altering your OC. If you're leaving it open to everything, well, I'm kinda with the above two posts, though I'd dial "ridiculously OP" back to "abnormally powerful" IF you impose reasonable limits on it. I get thaumatic constructs/summon/etc, but simply willing thoughts into existence is absurd without limits.

 

The spell mimicry bit: that's hugely powerful, but is a near savant-like tradeoff in my mind. Something that's possible, but limited and comes at the cost of other things. I'd compare the downside to knowing how to shuffle cards like a performer simply by watching it: there's probably a notable dexterity requirement even if you understand and memorize it. Unicorns don't seem overly powerful unless it's with only a handful of spells; I'd hold him to similar standards, where realistically he'd be limited to lower-level spell mimicry.

[Beanie Brony 49]

(I hope I don't come off rude here.)

I don't really think the weird brain surgery thing really applies to his talent. It's just... weird I guess. You could make him naturally act like he does, rather than purposely removing parts of his brain. Those are just my thoughts though.

The brain thing doesn't apply to his special talent. It's a part of his personality because when I made him I was going through a phase

I agree with JetGamma, the surgery seems rather cliche and unneeded. Also, mimicking something like spells seems nearly impossible, things like that require practice.

 

Also, i'm a bit lost on the spells he uses, turning thought into reality? It might help if you could explain!

Like he can make his thought appear, but in thought form. Imagine your could physically see a person's thought bubble. That's what he can do.

 

Yeah, he seems ridiculously OP with the whole turning thought into reality thing.

 

EDIT: Also, what happened that made him remove all of his emotions?

I think you missed a part. He can copy spells, but only when he sees them. And unless he's seen the spell, he can't use the spell. And on the emotions thing, I can't decide between a traumatic incident or an emotional meltdown.

 

I'm not quite sure what area you're primarily looking at in terms of altering your OC. If you're leaving it open to everything, well, I'm kinda with the above two posts, though I'd dial "ridiculously OP" back to "abnormally powerful" IF you impose reasonable limits on it. I get thaumatic constructs/summon/etc, but simply willing thoughts into existence is absurd without limits.

 

The spell mimicry bit: that's hugely powerful, but is a near savant-like tradeoff in my mind. Something that's possible, but limited and comes at the cost of other things. I'd compare the downside to knowing how to shuffle cards like a performer simply by watching it: there's probably a notable dexterity requirement even if you understand and memorize it. Unicorns don't seem overly powerful unless it's with only a handful of spells; I'd hold him to similar standards, where realistically he'd be limited to lower-level spell mimicry.

Of course, he can mimic and use high-level spells, but he'll be more drained than an average unicorn casting it. And he can't use spells at all unless he's seen them a certain number of times.

[PonyPal123 47]

Maybe instead of getting him to go through brain surgery you can make it so that early in his life but after an emotional incident he decided to not form close relationships and not to get emotional about things so he built walls around himself to protect him from ever being hurt again

 

I like his ability to only perform spells that he has seen done before. It's unique

[Gold3 36]

Don't take this the wrong way but I would personally maybe just drop the brain removing idea, you could still replace that part of his story with another idea that will still go with the flow right?   

[Beanie Brony 49]

Maybe instead of getting him to go through brain surgery you can make it so that early in his life but after an emotional incident he decided to not form close relationships and not to get emotional about things so he built walls around himself to protect him from ever being hurt again

 

I like his ability to only perform spells that he has seen done before. It's unique

I like that idea.Thank you.

Don't take this the wrong way but I would personally maybe just drop the brain removing idea, you could still replace that part of his story with another idea that will still go with the flow right?   

Maybe. The brain thing does seem a bit far-fetched.

[Gold3 36]

I like that idea.Thank you.

Maybe. The brain thing does seem a bit far-fetched.

 

I'm very glad I could help you.