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Issues You'd Write Differently


Castle Bleck

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Reflections: Celestia and Mirror!Sombra still have to separate, but they at least get to say goodbye and have some closure instead of just being subjected to an unnecessarily cruel Shoot The Shaggy Dog ending.

 

IDW #23: Either Cassie actually bothers to ask for help but gets refused, or she explicitly fears refusal too much to ask in the first place. Either way, she actually tries to make amends in the epilogue.

 

The Good, The Bad, And The Ponies: Twilight's busy elsewhere. Enough said.

 

The Root Of The Problem: Well-To-Do is the one who asks the Mane 6 for help, because the Deer actually bother to attack his construction site itself instead of, you know, just about everything else. Ultimately, the Mane 6 learn that Well-To-Do is the instigator all along, his @$$ goes to jail, and the Deer finally help stop the Everfree and then make peace or whatever.

Edited by A.V.

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By Emerald.↑

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Reflections: The M6 square off in an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny with their alternate counterparts, all of whom are working for the Evil Celestia. Luna and Celestia are still purified of their evil essence, but not by Sombra making a completely unnecessary sacrifice and the two worlds are still separated.  

 

Root Of The Problem: Reality Ensues when Twilight realizes that she actually has a brain, and asserts her authority to have Well-To-Do arrested incredibly quickly for the numerous violations and laws broken. However, when the deer try and stop the growth of the forest, it has become out of control and needs to be cut back down to size.

 

Issue #23: The Kelpie at one point made an attempt to ask for help, but when that didn't work she resorted to controlling small pockets of the town to help her bust the dam, because there's no way she's powerful enough to enthral the entire town all at once.

 

Ponyville Days: When Diamond Tiara says she should be the head of the festival, everyone promptly ignores her because she's incredibly wrong and the arc is still the town being underprepared for when droves of ponies come from far and wide to partake in the festival.


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Reflections - Actually explore Alt-Equestria before getting to the main problem, rework the romance so no one's in the wrong

 

The Good, The Bad, The Ponies - Remove Twilight completely. Give the remane 5 sans AJ and Rarity something to do. Actually bring up AJ's millionth relative that when missing but was never brought up again

 

Root of the Problem - Get rid of Well-To-Do and that "Big Business is evil, nature is good" plotline

 

Kelpie - 

Issue #23: The Kelpie at one point made an attempt to ask for help, but when that didn't work she resorted to controlling small pockets of the town to help her bust the dam, because there's no way she's powerful enough to enthral the entire town all at once.

This

 

Ponyville Days - Make the characters less petty, particularly AJ and Rarity. I think the idea of Ponyville being divided over who's the real founder could work, but the reason's for picking sides should be more believable

 

Pinkie/AJ Friend's Forever - Make them the actual focus

 

Luna/Spike, Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie/Celestia, Rarity/The Cakes - My problem with these is that they focused too much on one character rather than the pair itself, and usually involved an OC being heavily shoe-horned as a main focus. Rework them so Luna, Rainbow, Celly and the Cakes are more notable

 

Fluttershy Micro - Rewrite the parts of the story to fit with one moral. The comic felt like it was trying to deliver both a "Don't listen to criticism" and "don't be discouraged by criticism", the latter of which is actually a really good moral. The story should have been written to follow that moral

 

Rainbow Dash Micro - FUCKING EVERYTHING. Scrap it completely, kill it with fire and go with something completely different, and get a writer who actually cares

Edited by Megas
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MAIN SERIES

 

The Good, The Bad, and The Pony: Have only Applejack, Fluttershy, and maybe Rarity be the only ones show up. Twilight's insistence on NOT sing magic was too big of an issue to ignore here.

 

The Root of the Problem: As much as this arc really jump-started my love of the deer in MLP lore (comic lore; anyway), this arc had problems. I really liked A.V.'s idea in regards to Well-To-Do asking for the help, but ends up being found out as the antagonist. Also MORE BLACKTHORN please. <3

 

FRIENDS FOREVER

 

AJ/Pinkie Pie: Just do SOMETHING to make it interesting. Nothing works and it all comes out flat.

 

AJ/Mayor Mare: I would drop that whole "every pony turns into a vegetable" BS and have something more practical.

 

Pinkie Pie/Celestia: Actually make Celestia part of the focus here.

 

Spike/Luna: Not a bad comic by any means, but the female dragon got more page time than Luna did it seems.

 

MICRO SERIES

 

Rainbow Dash: Scrap it.

 

Fluttershy: I didn't have too many problems here, but I definitely wouldn't portray Fancy Pants as he was here.

 

FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

 

Nightmare Moon: I would try to focus the comic down. It was WAY too ambitious to start with and felt like they were doing too much. I would especially cut out the part where Celestia quells a riot without lifting a hoof and just focus the comic on Nightmare Moon and her interactions with the Moon Creatures.

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Main Series:

  1. Nightmare Rarity: Scrap the idea that Luna became Nightmare Moon from external supernatural forces. The whole arc was hinged by that detail, and it dropped its objective writing quality drastically.
  2. Reflections: Several things:

    a. Fix Celestia's character. She willingly put both her world and AT!Sombra's in very great danger by defying Star Swirl. I don't care how young she was. As a leader in Equestria, it's up to her to check on her priorities. Reflections made her look incredibly juvenile.

    b. Quit mocking critics. It's not cute or funny. It's imbecilic. All they did is prove the critics' point, especially the lazy epilogue.

    c. Stay consistent with the world's rules. When one character has pain, his or her doppleganger should, too. Except when they didn't. Sombra was killed; shouldn't AT!Sombra be also dead? By making anything go, Reflections was a betrayal of what makes a fantasy a fantasy.
  3. The Good…: Three things:

    a. No Twilight! 'Nuff said. Have only AJ be there.

    b. Make the plot an actual parody of Westerns. Curnow said it is, but the characters and entire plot treat the threat really seriously. When the heroes play Looney Tunes, make them succeed and not screw up over something stupid.

    c. Make the jokes actually funny. The comedy fails because the protagonists screw up and the protagonists commit major criminal activities.
  4. The Root…: Either get rid of Well-To-Do, and remove the idea that all industry is bad and all nature is good or treat WTD as the criminal that he is.
  5. Ponyville Days: The whole arc was ruined by how the citizens of Ponyville all but waged war on each other for stuff so imbecilic. If you're going to get into a feud, at least make the reasons plausible and in character.

Micro Comics:

  1. Twilight: Don't make it a rehash of the entire show.
  2. Dash: At least, rework on the horrible dialogue and ditch the brony pandering! If not, scrap it.
  3. Rarity: Dump the side-story at the end. Spike was an out-of-character jerk, and by being attached to the book itself, it hurt the quality of the Rarity Micro despite not being an actual part of the story.
  4. Fluttershy: Dump the entire second half of the product. The plot in itself is contrived; the strawman and broken moral expose it more.
  5. Celestia: Can the Honey Boo Boo bashing! The only reason it exists in the first place is because "it was cool" to bash a child celebrity. This is pandering to older viewers, and it's NOT funny!
  6. Luna: Write her in character. If I'm reading a comic about Luna, I want to read Luna, not a more temperamental, bubbly version of Pinkie Pie.

Friends Forever:

  1. Pinkie/Celly: Clean up the art. Don't copy-and-paste clipart on a flank and call it a cutie mark; that's beyond lazy!
  2. Spike/Celestia: Celestia's reasons for not getting involved in helping his friends is because she wants Twilight to teach. In order words, she implicates that the Nightmare Moon dilemma, Discord's release prior to Return of Harmony, the sleeping dragon, the Gala, Sombra and The Crystal Empire, and Star Swirl's book were all pre-planned. That's beyond unacceptable! This logic is cruel and unbecoming of a leader in any land, much less one about anthropomorphic horses. Scrap the idea.
  3. Any FF comic that doesn't put equal focus on both characters: Balance the story to focus on both.

EQG Holiday Special: A few things:

  1. Don't degrade the ReMane Five. By abandoning her during the Christmas holidays, they tell Sunset she's worthless as a friend. Consider the fact that she's homeless. Instead, have them and Flash believe her and defend her. The fact that Sunset was never given an apology was disgusting. The more I think about this story, the more I wonder why the hell she wants to stay in Pedestria in the first place.
  2. Don't rip off Ponyville Confidential. In that episode, the CMCs had a solid alibi for continuing the columns. Here, they slandered the ReMane Five and Sunset because they were jealous. Worst characterization of the CMC in any serialized media.
  3. Don't make all of Canterlot High so mean-spirited. 'Nuff said.

"Talent is a pursued interest." — Bob Ross

 

Pro-Brony articles: 1/2/3/4

 

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c. Stay consistent with the world's rules. When one character has pain, his or her doppleganger should, too. Except when they didn't. Sombra was killed; shouldn't AT!Sombra be also dead? By making anything go, Reflections was a betrayal of what makes a fantasy a fantasy.

 

I think they actually explained something about that: Basically, the "shared pain" thing didn't start until after Celestia kept meddling with the mirror.

Edited by A.V.

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By Emerald.↑

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I would rewrite all of volume 7. I'd make Longhorn an actual bad guy in The Good the Bad and the Ponies, and I would make it so the mane six aren't criminals who commit multiple felonies to get their way, then abuse the legal system so that the group who is obeying the law go to jail for no reason while they walk free, and thus prove that Equestria is incredibly racist and inequality is rampant. Who are the bad guys supposed to be again? I'd modify The Root of the Problem less, but I can't help but feel that it should have ended with both parties finding common ground, and Well-To-Do agreeing to try to reduce his environmental footprint while Aspen and Blackthorn participate by introducing an ecologically friendly escorted forest tour as a feature of the park. Well-To-Do could keep the park he invested in legally, and the obvious environmental message wouldn't be so one-dimensional.

 

I'd rewrite Friends Forever #1 so that it is actually the issue advertised, with legit bonding between AJ and Pinkie without Toffee Truffle stealing the show. I'd rewrite RD's Micro Issue so that the whole town doesn't just pretend the situation is all somehow RD's problem and her friends and other townsfolk don't look like good for nothing jerks. Oh, and I would also removed the forced one-liners that act as contrived references to vastly superior moments in the show. I suppose the majority of the pony population are equivalent to useless NPCs in a typical RPG, but you'd think RD's friends would be there for her at least, and maybe help stop a situation that affects everypony and not just RD, who happened to discover it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Siege Of The Crystal Empire: No pointless secondary antagonists; only Hope and the Changelings. Also, Hope actually gets some panels where she begs for forgiveness from the Mane 6, the Princesses, and the other Crystal Ponies in the end. Furthermore, the final battle is actually much cooler, like the one in Do Princesses Dream Of Magic Sheep? (not to mention Discord actually bothering to be more than just a One-Scene Wonder).

Edited by A.V.

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By Emerald.↑

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  • 5 months later...

Siege of the Crystal Empire: Have Radiant Hope apologize on-panel for what she's done, have the minor antagonists help fight Umbrum, have all the ponies from Ponyville, the Wonderbolts, and the Royal Guard help fight the Umbrum, have Rabia try to manipulate Twilight, and have Chrysalis forced to help the heroes.

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the nightmare rarity episode was darker and more disturbing than necessary.  But that wasn't the main problem.  instead, it was unfortunate implications about not having a choice, and being forced into that darkness that gives it painful consequences if its considered any kind of canon.  


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