critique wanted Crystal Ponies need some help in coming to life. (twins)

[Raven Rawne 1,381]

Hi!

 

I recently had an interesting idea to make my first RP-able OC (I made a griffon earlier but the longer I proofread the less interesting he seems), but, since the concept is rather unorthodox, I'd like to ask for some critique before I spend a couple evenings fine tuning everything only to scrap it in the end...

 

So, here it goes: I thought about crystal pony identical twins (stallions) sharing the same talent - crystal masonry.

 

Now the talent itself revolves around my observations of Crystal Empire structures. Everything is made out of differently coloured crystal, and seemingly out of one piece. Just look at their roads and houses. So, I kinda headcannoned that there need to be some kind of "crystal menders" around, who can seemlessly join pieces of crystal together, since carving a three story house and transporting it form far away quarry is nearly impossible without some serious magic. Same with roads. They won't sprout crystals out of their hooves, but rather weld the pieces together into a single bigger one. Together with regular stone masonry skills, you get a Crystal Mender.

Their special talent is restricted to the crystal form Crystal Mountains quarries, and they can't mend regular stone or gemstones.

 

So the talent would give them a job and the reason to travel all over Equestria (after the Equesrtian Games crystal would be very fashionable) to raise crystal structures and sculptures.

 

Now that I explained the trickiest part, let's present another major area of concern - I thought about identical twins rather than a single pony. We already know it's possible in the show canon to have identical twins who share the same talent: Aloe and Lotus. Although I intend to give my crystal guys the same color scheme with corresponding CM's (still WIP, I thought about halves of something to show their co-dependence). They could be distinguished by CM and personality.

My plan is to write their bios so that they're siblings and best friends, and they're virtually inseparable. The older one (10 minutes older btw) is more rational and cool headed, while the younger one is more random and adventurous, so there's some balancing between them. I intend to make them a walking entertainment centre, since they love to play a private game of wits and humor, involving jokes at each other's expense and a never ending stream of funny comments aimed at showing the rest of the world who's the boss in this duo.

 

So these are the major areas that I'd like to get some feedback on. Yay or nay? Also, in case the idea isn't outright rejected by the more experienced RP'ers, or crystal pony experts, any additional feedback and ideas for CM and names is appreciated. As far as colors go, I thought about navy blue coats and pearl white manes, thought the exact style is yet to be determined.

[AmberDust 1,118]

That sounds like a really cool and unique idea! It fits in well with the show's canon, but is still pretty one-of-a-kind. Would these twins both be boys? Or both girls? Or one of each? I'd love to know more about them.

[Raven Rawne 1,381]

Thanks for the kind words!

 

Me being me, I already researched twin pregnacies (brace for science!), and decided that it would be best for them to be monozygotic (identical, from the same egg), witch then restricts their gender to either 2 boys or 2 girls. Since I'm not confident in my ability to RP mares in more slice-of-life settings, I'll roll with 2 guys.

 

Since IRL identical twins arent perfect copies of each other, I decided that they should differ in personality and general behaviour, but not really in looks (if drawn in show accurate art style that is). If you recall the infamous Flim Flam Bros, they're exact the same save for moustache and manestyle. And different voices too. So even though they're purposefully grooming and dressing the same (they'll think ponies misidenifying them is funny, or even pretend there is only one of them - if you've  watched "Prestige" then you'll know what I mean) after spending some time with them you'll know who is who.

 

Also, does the special talent sound balanced and believeable? I'm in Terra Incognita right now and wouldn't like to topple any fanon concensus when we lack canon info.

 

Last but not least, I intend to dodge the bullet of inevitable questions from Equestrian ponies: "how did you live under Sombra's rule?" in a cheap, but effective "we don't want to talk about it". If other characters will press on they'll have 'Nam flashbacks and stop shining, reverting into the look we know from "Crystal Empire 1&2" ep. I figured that it's better to keep this chapter contained rather than write some pointless drama in their bio. That way I can keep them normal and happy, if a bit wide eyed on the "wonders" of modern Equestria (they were out of business for a 1000 years!).

 

I'd appreciate any further feedback.

[Raven Rawne 1,381]

*Update*

 

I made a character sheet and most of the pieces are already in place. Of course I still need to proofread everything several times, but the overall "feel" of the characters is there. I also decided on colours and cutie marks. Basically everything is more or less finished.

 

Here's the link: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/aediculussylvanus-wip-r9369

 

As always, I'd love to recieve any and all critique on the subject.

Edited March 3, 2016 by Raven Rawne

[Starlet Harmony 128]

Thats a great idea!! I think it would be really cool to have fraternal twins rather than identical twins, and make it a stallion and mare. From an art perspective, you could have so much fun designing the pony and then doing a genderbend to make the twin! I would love to hear more about their backstory! 

[Raven Rawne 1,381]

Thanks for the reply! To be honest, I was thinking about fraternal twins for a bit, even a mare and a stallion as you suggested, but that would put me at risk of having them separated in an RP (or atleast I think it does, I'm new to mlp roleplay but not RP'ing itself). Plus, isn't roleplaying a mare a bit different from that of a stallion? I've never RP'd a character of opposite gender, and so I'm a bit hesistant on the subject.

 

Yet despite the aforementioned potential problems, I think the general concept of mixed gender fraternal twins is even cooler than identical ones. After all, you get 2 distinct characters instead of 2 copies. I could remake Sylvanus to be a mare... The way he's written, and the interest in Nature rather than Technology would fit nicely to a mare, I think.

 

I'll definately give this idea another chance.