Criticism for my OC

[SwedishBrony 6]

Name: Tech Reader

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Species: Unicorn

Appearance: He is a blue unicorn with blonde mane

Cutie Mark: A Laptop

Personality: He is a kind and caring pony who cares a lot about his friends, but can assist others when he can, but he keeps it a secret that he likes romantic fanfic

Backstory: Tech Reader grew up from the beginning in Canterlot where he went to school his first years, he went in the same class as Sunset Shimmer, which he,had a crush on, but never had the courage to tell her how he felt about her. Sunset Shimmer disappeared, he was devastated and depressed as he never thought he'd get the chance to talk about his feelings for her. One year after Sunset Shimmer's disappearance, his parents chose to move to ponyville so he would get a new start and get to know new pony's. He got his cutie Mark when he sat down in front of his parents' computer that had broken and in some way he managed to fix it.

Edited July 30, 2017 by SwedishBrony

[Hazard Time 1,127]

Color-wise, I can't really give any criticism.  I've seen the blue and yellow color scheme before, so it doesn't seem to clash too much.  However, I would possibly suggest using less saturated colors.

I had a lot of thoughts reading your OC's backstory.  For one, I feel that it's a tad overdone to have an OC that falls madly in love with a canon character; overdone, but not necessarily a bad thing.  Though it's a bit much to write down for just a basic background, I'd suggest thinking about what sort of qualities he saw in Sunset that really attracted him.  Of course, given his age, I wouldn't be surprised if his interest in her was just a teenage infatuation.  Otherwise, if you're trying to suggest that the two of them were compatible, then you should certainly brainstorm what facets of Sunset's personality click well with Tech's.

His parents' decision to move to Ponyville from Canterlot in order for him to get a fresh start and make new friends reminds me a bit too much of Twilight Sparkle.  The move itself isn't the problem, but more so the motivations behind it.  Moving from a big city to a small town is never an easy transition, especially when it comes to seeking employment in a job market that is much smaller.  In that case, you'll want to think of his parents, what their careers were, their talents, and where they found employment in Ponyville, whether they sought an employer or became their own.

[SwedishBrony 6]

26 minutes ago, Hazard Time said:

Color-wise, I can't really give any criticism.  I've seen the blue and yellow color scheme before, so it doesn't seem to clash too much.  However, I would possibly suggest using less saturated colors.

I had a lot of thoughts reading your OC's backstory.  For one, I feel that it's a tad overdone to have an OC that falls madly in love with a canon character; overdone, but not necessarily a bad thing.  Though it's a bit much to write down for just a basic background, I'd suggest thinking about what sort of qualities he saw in Sunset that really attracted him.  Of course, given his age, I wouldn't be surprised if his interest in her was just a teenage infatuation.  Otherwise, if you're trying to suggest that the two of them were compatible, then you should certainly brainstorm what facets of Sunset's personality click well with Tech's.

His parents' decision to move to Ponyville from Canterlot in order for him to get a fresh start and make new friends reminds me a bit too much of Twilight Sparkle.  The move itself isn't the problem, but more so the motivations behind it.  Moving from a big city to a small town is never an easy transition, especially when it comes to seeking employment in a job market that is much smaller.  In that case, you'll want to think of his parents, what their careers were, their talents, and where they found employment in Ponyville, whether they sought an employer or became their own.

Thank you for your criticism, and I agree with several of the points, I had no thoughts on those points when I wrote his backstory but will keep that in mind for future updates of my OC

 

[SwedishBrony 6]

If anypony would like to help me with my OC Backstory, I would be grateful

[Hazard Time 1,127]

I'd be willing to give you advice!  What sort of questions did you have?

[Foxy Socks 2,600]

He looks very cute! His design is simple and unique, though may not be the best matching colors. I can't say much about improving that.

 

His backstory seems lacking, and don't know if there are computers in Equestria. Honestly I ammfine with him having a crush on a canon character, since mine has two on very important characters. I just think you should add more to them, and maybe make them more unique.

[SwedishBrony 6]

4 hours ago, Foxy Socks said:

He looks very cute! His design is simple and unique, though may not be the best matching colors. I can't say much about improving that.

 

His backstory seems lacking, and don't know if there are computers in Equestria. Honestly I ammfine with him having a crush on a canon character, since mine has two on very important characters. I just think you should add more to them, and maybe make them more unique.

I thought it was a good idea with the computer, when I'm good at computers, so thought my OC was good at computers as well.

thought most that he had a crush on Sunset Shimmer and have moved on in life

 

I'd be willing to give you advice!  What sort of questions did you have?

 

I need help to add more to his backstory

[OmbreInks 52]

I'd like to help on the colour scheme. Since blue and yellow are pretty opposite colours on the wheel. 

1: what goes with the 'computing' theme? Blue, yes. yellow, yes. BUT, you should tone them down a little, blend them, add a tertiary colour. I'd say a metallic grey, since that's what computers usually look like on the exterior.

2: Placement, placement, placement. Since grey is associated with the main exterior of a computer I'd start with that. Make it the colour of the body. For the mane I'd say use blue, and give it little yellow zigzags! This'll symbolise the electronic components of a computer.

3: make it your own! I'm not saying you have to do what I prefer, do whatever YOU feel is right. I have little experiance, you don't need to listen to an average noodle like me. 

One little thing. I find the glasses a little stereotypical, not everyone who works on computers has glasses! I know you might have them, and I might have them, but as I say, make it unique! 

Edited August 5, 2017 by OmbreInks