Sign in to follow this  
HexChime

I need OC help...

Recommended Posts

I’m working on an Alicorn OC and I want to know if it’s bad or not..

So the character’s name is HexChime because she specializes in magic relating to sound and can play a large variety of instruments.

Im still working on her backstory but here is the basics: She used her magic to steal from others. Eventually, she stole from the wrong creature. (I’m not sure what creature yet..) The creature cursed her.(hence the “hex” in “HexChime”) The creature cursed HexChime so that whenever she used magic, even just a small spell, her appearance would change ever so slightly to resemble a hideous beast.

I really wanted to make an alicorn oc, but I didn’t want her to be extremely Op so I made her magic come with a price. She can still use magic though.

How can I make this character not bad?

(side note: the fangs, cloven hooves, weird horn, and eyes are results of hex’s curse)

What she looks like: https://ibb.co/7pGvVst

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*waves*  Hiya, HexChime!  I'd be happy to lend you a hoof in putting together an OC!

Okay, let's see what we have here...

First off, that picture is lovely!  She looks so exotic and interesting - kudos!

Now, alicorn OCs are difficult to properly balance, as they tend to carry a LOT of power - I always feel that the hinderance should match the power level, else you get a godlike OC that may have a flaw, but it's neligible.  Negating a flaw by having FAR too much power isn't having a flaw... it's cheating the rules, essentially.

Plus, it borders on Mary Sue country; I cannot abide one of those, so I'll help you work it out so she isn't one.

First off, I assume this character is for the EvE roleplay section?  That's fine; plenty of fascinating and powerful characters there!  So we'll work with the EvE ruleset (which is mostly non-existent), and see what we can come up with together.

Okay, question time!  Answering these will most likely help me to figure out what you're looking to make this OC into.

1. You mention stealing magic... the big question here is why?  Does she have a magical deficiency?  Is she part Changeling?  Did she have a parent who taught her to do so?  I'll need some more detail about the magical draining ability before I can go further with her magic.  (From just what's listed, I'd say that she might have tried to steal from Discord; such a curse seems right up his alley.)

2. Is there a specific creature she's getting these features from, or is it merely random parts?  In other words, is she turning into something else bit by bit, or is her curse merely slapping random parts onto her?

3. I'd like more specifics as to the degree of her changes; do they occur as a result of the power level of the spell (big spells = big changes, little spell = little changes), or is it just a set change when ANY spell is cast?  This has the potential to cause the OC to possibly become unplayable over time, if she becomes TOO much of a monster, but not enough punishment for using her magic, and you're just negating the flaw.  I wanna know more about how the effects work.

We can start here; once you reply, I can most certainly help you get things moving!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TBH, making an Alicorn OC is already something that's going to draw some attention...maybe not in the best way, but it will certainly get people to look at you.

I'll agree with the poster above me in that it is a VERY difficult process to make an Alicorn that isn't just a Mary Sue / "snap their fingers and end world hunger" kind of situation.

My advice is to add on a few things to the "curse" of sorts, like for example: the curse adds a spell cap / limit to their magic so they can't cast things above a certain intensity, rules out any chance of becoming godlike.

Basically, if your character is pretty much a princess in terms of presence and power, you've gone a little too heavy on the sparkles x3

Edited by fare67t
Hit enter with my thumb, so I posted way too early

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, HexChime said:

I’m working on an Alicorn OC and I want to know if it’s bad or not..

So the character’s name is HexChime because she specializes in magic relating to sound and can play a large variety of instruments.

Im still working on her backstory but here is the basics: She used her magic to steal from others. Eventually, she stole from the wrong creature. (I’m not sure what creature yet..) The creature cursed her.(hence the “hex” in “HexChime”) The creature cursed HexChime so that whenever she used magic, even just a small spell, her appearance would change ever so slightly to resemble a hideous beast.

I really wanted to make an alicorn oc, but I didn’t want her to be extremely Op so I made her magic come with a price. She can still use magic though.

How can I make this character not bad?

(side note: the fangs, cloven hooves, weird horn, and eyes are results of hex’s curse)

What she looks like: https://ibb.co/7pGvVst

 

Not gonna lie, that OC is really cute :wub:

 

The only thing I would suggest is giving her a proper reason to have wings since Alicorns usually can’t just appear like the other pony races.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Regarding the name. I recommend two things:

1) Separate HexChime into two words. Hex Chime. Looks more like a pony name and less like an internet screen name.

2) Consider perhaps giving her a name BEFORE she was known as Hex Chime. It's true that pony names tend to be rather prophetic, but it would also be interesting if she was known as something else before she got hexed. Possible suggestion for a pre-curse name: Gossamer Chime. Because of the spider web on her cutie mark.

 

Questions to consider:

Was she an alicorn BEFORE her curse? Or was she a unicorn and the curse gave her wings? Was she an ascended pegasus or earth pony that used an artifact to steal magic?

Why is she an alicorn? Is she an ancient alicorn like Celestia and Luna (who come from a long-gone alicorn tribe in my own fan stuff)? Did she ascend? Typically ascension happens if a pony does something good with magic, but she was a thief.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.