fan fiction A Fan fiction of the warrior books!

[Midnightive 458]

Ok this was just a quick thing i done to day i'm not sure if its become a 'thing'. so tell me what you think?

 

 

 

A tabby she-cat with white paws. Emerged from her den, her paws moved quickly towards the nursery. The nursery made up off sticks and moss, it was one of the closes things to the middle. It was safer that way, When she entered a few of the cats bowed there head and the kittens ran up to her. They sat at her feet eagerly awaiting there story. The tabby she-cat smiled “So, this is my story” she begin.

 

This forest has been shared, between four clans.

 

Wind clan they make look thin and easy to battle. But there tough, quick and have loyalty beyond any think I’ve seen.

 

River clan they swim like the fish. There slippery, witted but not build for out right fighting.

 

Shadow clan they’ll be your greatest enemy, battle hungry, aggressive and will try to take are territory. They will attack at night as the dark part of the forest let’s the see better in the night.

 

Then there’s us little ones, We’re fierce and brave, we great fighters. But we must remember to keep the piece. We don’t want to go starting any fights, but remember to stay loyal.

 

After the tabby cat finished telling the kittens about the story. She looked down to see they’d all fallen asleep, with a smile whisker to whisker. She left the den, her paws moved quickly towards her own den. She was stopped by a black and while cat who’s voice was rasp and quickened.

 

“The star clan have spoken, of a new prophecy” she looked at the tabby’s reaction but the tabby cat face was clear. “What did it say, Spottedpelt “ Spottedpelt, worked to steady her self. “Brightstar, Tiger clan and lion can with rise once more” she echoed the words of the star clan.

 

 

 

if it gets a enough people liking it i'll carry on making it! Though i need more warriors and things,

i've been using this great cat maker to get an idea of what all my cats look like! I can name them if you like! If you name i'd ask nicley if you end it :'paw,claw,pelt,fur,foot or tail' (obv pick one!)

 

i need the leaders of the 3 over clans to! and dep for Thunderclan! but if you make one theese there likey to die Sorry <3

http://neikoish.devi...-Game-166489725

Edited June 18, 2012 by Midnightive

[Marcato 2,143]

The only criticism I would have is some of the grammar and punctuation is a little bit off.

 

It sounds interesting. What I would recommend is getting a proof reader. Some one who is a grammar perfectionist and will catch everything.

[Finesthour 7,287]

c:

 

YOU TOOK MY ADVICE

[Midnightive 458]

The only criticism I would have is some of the grammar and punctuation is a little bit off.

 

It sounds interesting. What I would recommend is getting a proof reader. Some one who is a grammar perfectionist and will catch everything.

 

As i said it only a quick thing i did!

 

If i was going to make it a real story i'd proof read it alot more.

 

but thanks i'll get working on that

[Marcato 2,143]

To be honest I would say more, such as some of the structure and flow, but one i'm on my phone, and two i'm very tired and not completely thinking straight and focused.

 

However I will say i'm a huge fan of the Warriors series, so this should be cool.

[Burnt Toast 9]

M. M-hm. Yeah, thats ok. Some things I couldn't understand, so you should make things a bit clearer. I know its something you just did quickly, but maybe you should look things over a little before you post them. Otherwise, great job!

[Midnightive 458]

M. M-hm. Yeah, thats ok. Some things I couldn't understand, so you should make things a bit clearer. I know its something you just did quickly, but maybe you should look things over a little before you post them. Otherwise, great job!

 

Hehe thanks i wrote this at like 3am half asleep and doing a quick write! But thanks if i ever write a real thing i'll make sure i'll proof read!