writing Harry Potter Fanfic

[MachineGunLola 408]

I'm writing a fanfic of Severus Snape x my OC.

I've just begun, but please, read this and let me know what you think.

I'm not sure if this is how Snape would act, but.. Since no one would RP as him, I thought I'd try it out on my own.

If you have any critique, please do tell, but do it nicely.

If you dislike Snape/HP, please, don't comment.

 

 

Atropa Summers sat in the only empty compartment on the train. Her hair was soaking wet from the rain that had been falling outside. She pulled her cloak tighter around her, hoping to retain some warmth.

The compartment door opened to reveal a young man around her age, fifteen, with long greasy black hair, beady eyes and a rather long hooked nose. He stopped and looked at Atropa for a moment, before opening his mouth and speaking. "May I sit here?" His voice was quiet and smooth. Atropa nodded.

"Thanks."

She nodded again. The boy closed the door behind him, and sat opposite of Atropa. She smiled, but he did not smile back. "I-I'm Atropa, A-Atropa Summers.. What's your name?" She asked, the smile slipping from her face. The boy glanced at her quickly and shrugged. "Severus.. Severus Snape."

Atropa nodded, and quietly returned to the looking out the window at the rain. She couldn't see much, the rain was falling so hard, so Atropa looked back to the boy. He too, was staring out the window. But his eyes were unfocused, obviously he was thinking.

Deciding she didn't want to bother him, Atropa instead dug into her back and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, and began to sketch.

She only looked up when the lunch trolley came, and as she stood up, so did the boy. They bumped into each other, and Atropa stood back. "S-sorry." She whispered, and the boy, Severus, shrugged. He walked to the trolley and came back with a small bundle of food.

Atropa went up and ordered a few different things, mostly Chocolate Frogs, which she loved. The trolley moved on and the compartment went back to being silent. They both ate in silence, and said nothing to each other. They didn't even look at each other, and once Atropa was done with her frogs, she stole a glance at him. His eyes were once more unfocused. She wondered what he could possibly be thinking about. But she didn't ask, it wasn't her business.

A moment later, their compartment door opened again, and a young man with shaggy black hair came in, smiling in a mean way.

"Hey, Snivellus. Got a new girlfriend, finally?"

Severus turned and stood up, hate etched in his face.

"Get lost, Black."

"No way. I wanted to congratulate you on your new relationship. You know Lily is with James now, right?"

Severus glared, he pulled out his want and aimed it at the other boy.

"Oh, I'm so scared, Snivellus." He too pulled out his wand. Atropa jumped up between them.

"Who are you? And who gave you the right to bully someone?" She called out angrily to the new boy.

"Oh, my name's Sirius. Sirius Black. And maybe you and I can get to know each other a little better later, hm?" He asked, smiling at her.

Atropa blushed.

"N-no thanks. I'd like you to leave."

He shrugged.

"If you ever get tired of being Snivelus's girlfriend, you come find me, huh?"

He waved and walked off. Atropa closed the compartment door and turned to Severus.

He was looking at her strangely.

"What'd you do that for, girl?" He asked, spit flying from his mouth.

"I can take care of myself!" He called out, and sat back down.

"My name is Atropa. And I was trying to help you. But if you don't need my help, then... Well, nevermind!"

She too, flung herself down and glared at the floor.

Quietly, almost too quiet she wasn't sure she heard him, Severus whispered; "Thanks..."

Atropa nodded, hoping he saw.

For the rest of the ride, it was quiet. But there was some unspoken agreement between Atropa and Severus.