mega thread Last Poster Wins

[MasterCombine 316]

Well, I am an inherent magic user so I guess I could do a bit of time-jumping.

Who cares if the Union knows, I just don't want to scare off any possible heroes.

 

Because then you'd be marked for swift and immediate assimilation? 

 

Or you could save the trouble and just join us of your own free will! 

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

I don't believe you understand what "Inherent Magic (Magia Interna) users" are. You see, I don't just manipulate magic, I CREATE IT. I am permanently bound to arcane energy, as well as Aether and Void magic. I'm like a power plant that provides power to an AA battery, with the battery representing the universe.

Edited August 31, 2014 by AI Pony

[Hyperhooves 872]

JOIN THE QUESTIONER EMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

I've already joined Q. What should I do now?

[Hyperhooves 872]

I've already joined Q. What should I do now?

Help him win.

[FortyTwo42 1,287]

Very well. Let's see then...

cockatrices cost 16 bits each,

chimeras, 37 bits,

dragons, 62 bits,

golems, 23 bits,

griffons, 28 bits,

hydras, 44 bits,

leviathans, 47 bits,

manticores, 35 bits,

phoenixes, 40 bits,

poltergeists, 19 bits,

werewolves, 26 bits.

However, when you buy more than 10 of a particular species, you get a 10% discount for them. You've bought more than 10 of every one, so your total fee comes to:

0.9*50*(16+37+62+23+28+44+47+35+40+26)+0.9*47*19=16914 bits. I hope you find that price agreeable.

 

And for the Daleks, unfortunately the price will be rather high since I need to get them in stock as fast as possible. It'll probably be 98 bits per Dalek. A 'raiding party' of Daleks is a bit ambiguous as to precisely how many Daleks you need, so could you clarify so I know how many to get in stock?

Edited August 31, 2014 by FortyTwo42

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

But I'm already doing that! Although I don't declare it, ive been doing that with nearly every single post I've made.

Very well. Let's see then...

cockatrices cost 16 bits each,

chimeras, 37 bits,

dragons, 62 bits,

golems, 23 bits,

griffons, 28 bits,

hydras, 44 bits,

leviathans, 47 bits,

manticores, 35 bits,

phoenixes, 40 bits,

poltergeists, 19 bits,

werewolves, 26 bits.

However, when you buy more than 10 of a particular species, you get a 10% discount for them. You've bought more than 10 of every one, so your total fee comes to:

0.9*50*(16+37+62+23+28+44+47+35+40+26)+0.9*47*19=16914 bits. I hope you find that price agreeable.

 

And for the Daleks, unfortunately the price will be rather high since I need to get them in stock as fast as possible. It'll probably be 98 bits per Dalek. A 'raiding party' of Daleks is a bit ambiguous as to precisely how many Daleks you need, so could you clarify so I know how many to get in stock?

About five Daleks and a bowl of punch, if you could.

[FortyTwo42 1,287]

But I'm already doing that! Although I don't declare it, ive been doing that with nearly every single post I've made.

About five Daleks and a bowl of punch, if you could.

I'm sorry, but we don't sell bowls of punch at D42C. However, we'd be glad to sell you those 5 Daleks in 2 months time. The total price will come to 490 bits. Is this agreeable?

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

Do you accept Engems as currency?

[MasterCombine 316]

I don't believe you understand what "Inherent Magic (Magia Interna) users" are. You see, I don't just manipulate magic, I CREATE IT. I am permanently bound to arcane energy, as well as Aether and Void magic. I'm like a power plant that provides power to an AA battery, with the battery representing the universe.

 

Hmm. Scary.

 

Well, seeing as the Universal Union spans the multiverse, I'm sure we can dig up a number of "inherent magic users" in any of the other dimensions we control. But the offer still stands! I assure you, you'll find working for the Union to be far more rewarding than anything else you've ever done. 

 

Very well. Let's see then...

cockatrices cost 16 bits each,

chimeras, 37 bits,

dragons, 62 bits,

golems, 23 bits,

griffons, 28 bits,

hydras, 44 bits,

leviathans, 47 bits,

manticores, 35 bits,

phoenixes, 40 bits,

poltergeists, 19 bits,

werewolves, 26 bits.

However, when you buy more than 10 of a particular species, you get a 10% discount for them. You've bought more than 10 of every one, so your total fee comes to:

0.9*50*(16+37+62+23+28+44+47+35+40+26)+0.9*47*19=16914 bits. I hope you find that price agreeable.

 

And for the Daleks, unfortunately the price will be rather high since I need to get them in stock as fast as possible. It'll probably be 98 bits per Dalek. A 'raiding party' of Daleks is a bit ambiguous as to precisely how many Daleks you need, so could you clarify so I know how many to get in stock?

 

Drops in the pond, my friend. That's more than agreeable. And while you're at it, why don't you send about 50 Daleks our way as well? A universe-spanning empire can never have too many synth weapons (though the Daleks are already heavily modified. I suppose some neural implants to make their behavior more conducive to control may be the only adjustments needed). We can arrange for extra payment for expedited shipping. 

Edited August 31, 2014 by MasterCombine

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

Oh here we go with the Synths again. Would you like another Synth Organ to play as well?

[MasterCombine 316]

Oh here we go with the Synths again. Would you like another Synth Organ to play as well?

 

No, we have enough of those. But thank you for the offer. 

 

Ours double as weapons in addition to musical instruments. 

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

Do they come equipped with the iBlewUpTheFreeman app or are you still working on that.

[MasterCombine 316]

The Combine arm of the Universal Union has no comment in regards to matters concerning Dr. Gordon Freeman...

Edited August 31, 2014 by MasterCombine

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

ROFLMAO

I hear one of your advisors had an "incident" with a stray D.O.G.. Any comments about that either?

[MasterCombine 316]

If you wish to know more about our stance on this subject, please speak to our press agent for further propagan- I mean information. 

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

So Mr. Freeman walks into a bar.

 

Ow.

 

Ooooh, I've got another one:

A combine soldier walks into a bar.

The bar tender sees him and asks 'Hey man, why the long face?'

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

I suppose I should claim the position of "Last Poster" for as long as I can!

[Hyperhooves 872]

The Questioner is the winner.

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

For now, I'll be the one to claim the glory.

[Hyperhooves 872]

Nope. He is the winner and and will ALWAYS be.

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

I shall get the last laugh today!

[Hyperhooves 872]

QUEST WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

Very well. Let's see then...

cockatrices cost 16 bits each,

chimeras, 37 bits,

dragons, 62 bits,

golems, 23 bits,

griffons, 28 bits,

hydras, 44 bits,

leviathans, 47 bits,

manticores, 35 bits,

phoenixes, 40 bits,

poltergeists, 19 bits,

werewolves, 26 bits.

However, when you buy more than 10 of a particular species, you get a 10% discount for them. 

 

I suppose I'd like to purchase:

- 500 dragons.

- 400 Phoenixes 

 

Also, the poltergeists are a waste of precious bits to me, I can get those for free.

Would you accept an exchange if I supply you with Poltergeists directly, that way we can arrange a bargain of some kind?

The dragons alone are worth more than 31,000 bits for the lot. But do I get a discount for ordering by the hundred too?

Additionally, if you're interested, The Crimson Empire would be glad to assist in shipping Hellhounds and Reapers if you're interested in such an exchange.

Edited September 1, 2014 by The Crimson Cross

[MasterCombine 316]

Join us, Crimson! Together we can all claim glory!