My parents want me out of the fandom. I might be saying goodbye someday soon.*

[~Chaotic Parsley~ 240]

To be honest, nope. I've been keeping this a secret from everyone in my family. I'm currently in the process of trying to convert some friends of mine, because that would invalidate my dad's statement of "If your friends aren't doing it", right?

 

Anyways, right now I'm on here in secret. It's likely to stay that way for a long time.

 

Also, I agree, this thread was created back in January, and it should stay back in January. Things haven't improved much, but this was a while back, and clearly I'm still in the fandom...even if in secret. Also, thanks to everyone who posted here, you were all great motivations to keep fighting on. Here's to hoping things improve...

 

If it's to do with your friends not liking it. Have you tried to find any bronies from this site that live near you? Maybe you could meet up with them and they could talk to ya folks. Or just hang out with people with that understand the fandom and such. I'm sure there are plenty. 

[LightsCameraAction 100]

Manchildren? Wow that hit me where it hurts. I am not a manchild. Suddenly I am not as happy as before. Sorry I couldn't help your situation though, it makes me feel kind of useless. Good luck with the other solutions and I hope you stay.

[SasQ 1,376]

What I trust you to do, is to leave no trace of MLP: FIM on your computer, or buy any merchandise at all. What you should do is to delete your history on your web browser off your computer or laptop every day to avoid your parents trying to look at your history.

 

I'd add opening some random pages after that to stuff the history with something "normal". Random pages are more "normal" than empty history (which might look suspicious).

 

Also, just act like you aren't an brony but more like a hater of bronies to your parents and your friend so that way no one suspects of you being a brony. The art of secrecy, my friend.

 

Lol this makes me wonder how many brony-haters out there are actually people using this tactics to hide they're secretly bronies ;-D

 

Anyways, my parents just won't take anything but their own opinion.

 

That's what I was afraid of.

In such a case, no arguing with them will help, since in any argument they'll respect only their own arguments and disregard any "external" argument. I know such type of people. They think about themselves they're rational and logical, but in reality, they're usually just dumb, hypocritical, stubborn and blind. They're non-reformable.

 

Well, there is one way to work with them, but it requires a lot of effort and sophistication, which they usually don't deserve for. But you can try if you really care. I'll write it in a minute...

 

but even if they stay, my parents will put them on the "unreliable source" list they keep in their minds, and any help they could be is gone completely.

 

This is (not what you say, but the behavior you describe) the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, but, unfortunately, it's pretty common lately. Such people are more and more convinced that there actually are any "reliable sources" (usually the TV news) they can believe just like that, no matter what is actually said there, and disregard any other sources as "unreliable" (usually if they simply don't agree with them). The whole "reliable/unreliable source" stuff is just an excuse for them to win arguments, nothing more. And they'll chose as "reliable source" whatever fits their needs.

 

But there's a catch:

To judge other sources as "reliable/unreliable", they must have considered themselves as "reliable sources" in the first place. And this could sound (especially for them) as their biggest strength, but it is also their biggest vulnerability, because if from some reason this mechanism would fail them and they couldn't trust themselves anymore, everything else which stands on it will crumble. If you like to try this approach, then read about a technique called "double bind" from NLP (I'll explain NLP further in this text).

 

Of course it would be very hard to mess with their psyche to such degree that they contradict themselves. But there's also another way to use this mechanism to your advantage: Since they believe anything they think, you'd need to make them think what you want them to think, but in such a way they'd think that these are their own thoughts. Then, whatever you make them think as their own thoughts, they'll automatically accept, as coming from the "reliable source" they themselves consider.

 

Ever heard about inception? ;-) This is also hard to make, but from my experience it's easier than self-contradiction, though not easy in general. It just requires some sophistication and good knowledge of psychology (which is you're into from what I've read, so it's worth to give it a shot).

 

People who consider themselves "rationalists" often think that they use logic in their reasoning, and only logic they care and pay attention to. But that makes them miss something else they don't quite understand well: emotions. Nevertheless, they cannot avoid them, since emotions are part of human nature. They simply ignore them, but still they're under their control no matter what they think of it ;-) And you've probably seen strong emotional reactions of your parents already when you've said them about MLP and bronies, so you're sure as sugar than they have got some ;-) And this can be your way around their bullshit logic if you use it properly. Learn about NLP (not MLP which you already know ;-) ), that is, NeuroLinguistic Programming (it's kind of "new psychology") and see what people like Bandler or Grinder or Milton Erickson (a hypnotist) or Ross Jeffries do. They can use emotions and subconscious mind to their convenience, so it's worth to learn from them ;-)

 

And, let's face it, you'll have to stand up for it sooner or later, because this is a crucial moment in your life which distinguishes an adult from a child: standing up for yourself. You're nearly 18, so it's a good moment. I mean, it doesn't have much to do with your age, it's more about your attitude to the outside world. But it's a moment in everyone's life sooner or later, and it's inevitable. One day you'd need to tell your parents who you are and that's not their business to judge you or dictate what you should do in your life. It's your life, not theirs, after all. You don't need to do it right now, but you'll have to do it someday, and make sure you'll be well-prepared.

 

Also, don't let them put you back to the wall by making you "explain yourself" or "defend your position" or "prove yourself right". (Especially that they don't prove themselves either.) Because putting yourself in a position where it's you who needs to defend, already makes you a victim. And who are they to judge you? Why should you prove yourself at all? It's not you who is claiming anything. It's them. The moment you notice they're trying to put you back to the wall, do your best to turn this situation 180 degrees and make them being questioned and defending their claims. You can try to play their own card: If they claim something weird about bronies, demand a proof from "reliable source". And if they find some, throw it away saying that it's not reliable enough. Wonder how they'd feel eating their own crap ;-J

 

As to the whole thing about kicking out from their house for being a brony, most of the times this is just a bluff, and they just say that to make you scared and surrender. But in reality, it's not so easy to kick one's child out of the house. In some countries it might be even a crime to do so. Parents are usually obliged to care for their children, even if they're some real pain in their asses. But, if you're really scared that they can be serious with that, then you already know what allows them to play that card: your financial situation. The day you get some job or other income source for your own money to get enough to support yourself, their sword will turn into a straw. So maybe it's time for you to look around for some income source, some appartments to rent, or some friends which would help you with leaving your parents alone with their stubbornness. You can still love them from a distance, and it'll make both of you happier.

 

Edit:

As to watching ponies in secrecy "as if it were porn" -- this is really a bad idea, because his brain could make an association of watching ponies with watching porn, and I guess this could be an easy way to become a clopper.

Edited April 4, 2013 by SasQ

[DoctorWhovian1902 596]

Manchildren? Wow that hit me where it hurts. I am not a manchild. Suddenly I am not as happy as before. Sorry I couldn't help your situation though, it makes me feel kind of useless. Good luck with the other solutions and I hope you stay.

Now I'm the one who feels bad.

 

But yeah, that's as far as their belief goes. We're all a bunch of pedophiles, manchildren, or no life's in this world to them (and if you feel bad, imagine how I feel living with that crap).

 

Then again, these are[i/] the same people who consider Fox News a "reliable source".

 

Still, I'm going to be staying regardless, so no worries there.

[~Chaotic Fireball~ 499]

 

Oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for you! I feel so sad whenever I see a post by someone whose parents or loved ones don't accept them for being a brony, and such and such.

I'm a closet brony myself, thanks to my overprotective parents. They just wouldn't approve of me 'socializing' with people over 20 on the internet.

 

Being a closet brony might be the only answer, unfortunately, but it's worth it once you'll get to enjoy the episodes and fandom. Right?

Cheer up, pal, and know that we're here hoping not to lose a member of the herd. :C

Brohoof, and pony on no matter what! 

/)

[DoctorWhovian1902 596]

 

 

 

I'd add opening some random pages after that to stuff the history with something "normal". Random pages are more "normal" than empty history (which might look suspicious).

 

 

Lol this makes me wonder how many brony-haters out there are actually people using this tactics to hide they're secretly bronies ;-D

 

 

That's what I was afraid of.

In such a case, no arguing with them will help, since in any argument they'll respect only their own arguments and disregard any "external" argument. I know such type of people. They think about themselves they're rational and logical, but in reality, they're usually just dumb, hypocritical, stubborn and blind. They're non-reformable.

 

Well, there is one way to work with them, but it requires a lot of effort and sophistication, which they usually don't deserve for. But you can try if you really care. I'll write it in a minute...

 

 

This is (not what you say, but the behavior you describe) the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, but, unfortunately, it's pretty common lately. Such people are more and more convinced that there actually are any "reliable sources" (usually the TV news) they can believe just like that, no matter what is actually said there, and disregard any other sources as "unreliable" (usually if they simply don't agree with them). The whole "reliable/unreliable source" stuff is just an excuse for them to win arguments, nothing more. And they'll chose as "reliable source" whatever fits their needs.

 

But there's a catch:

To judge other sources as "reliable/unreliable", they must have considered themselves as "reliable sources" in the first place. And this could sound (especially for them) as their biggest strength, but it is also their biggest vulnerability, because if from some reason this mechanism would fail them and they couldn't trust themselves anymore, everything else which stands on it will crumble. If you like to try this approach, then read about a technique called "double bind" from NLP (I'll explain NLP further in this text).

 

Of course it would be very hard to mess with their psyche to such degree that they contradict themselves. But there's also another way to use this mechanism to your advantage: Since they believe anything they think, you'd need to make them think what you want them to think, but in such a way they'd think that these are their own thoughts. Then, whatever you make them think as their own thoughts, they'll automatically accept, as coming from the "reliable source" they themselves consider.

 

Ever heard about inception? ;-) This is also hard to make, but from my experience it's easier than self-contradiction, though not easy in general. It just requires some sophistication and good knowledge of psychology (which is you're into from what I've read, so it's worth to give it a shot).

 

People who consider themselves "rationalists" often think that they use logic in their reasoning, and only logic they care and pay attention to. But that makes them miss something else they don't quite understand well: emotions. Nevertheless, they cannot avoid them, since emotions are part of human nature. They simply ignore them, but still they're under their control no matter what they think of it ;-) And you've probably seen strong emotional reactions of your parents already when you've said them about MLP and bronies, so you're sure as sugar than they have got some ;-) And this can be your way around their bullshit logic if you use it properly. Learn about NLP (not MLP which you already know ;-) ), that is, NeuroLinguistic Programming (it's kind of "new psychology") and see what people like Bandler or Grinder or Milton Erickson (a hypnotist) or Ross Jeffries do. They can use emotions and subconscious mind to their convenience, so it's worth to learn from them ;-)

 

And, let's face it, you'll have to stand up for it sooner or later, because this is a crucial moment in your life which distinguishes an adult from a child: standing up for yourself. You're nearly 18, so it's a good moment. I mean, it doesn't have much to do with your age, it's more about your attitude to the outside world. But it's a moment in everyone's life sooner or later, and it's inevitable. One day you'd need to tell your parents who you are and that's not their business to judge you or dictate what you should do in your life. It's your life, not theirs, after all. You don't need to do it right now, but you'll have to do it someday, and make sure you'll be well-prepared.

 

Also, don't let them put you back to the wall by making you "explain yourself" or "defend your position" or "prove yourself right". (Especially that they don't prove themselves either.) Because putting yourself in a position where it's you who needs to defend, already makes you a victim. And who are they to judge you? Why should you prove yourself at all? It's not you who is claiming anything. It's them. The moment you notice they're trying to put you back to the wall, do your best to turn this situation 180 degrees and make them being questioned and defending their claims. You can try to play their own card: If they claim something weird about bronies, demand a proof from "reliable source". And if they find some, throw it away saying that it's not reliable enough. Wonder how they'd feel eating their own crap ;-J

 

As to the whole thing about kicking out from their house for being a brony, most of the times this is just a bluff, and they just say that to make you scared and surrender. But in reality, it's not so easy to kick one's child out of the house. In some countries it might be even a crime to do so. Parents are usually obliged to care for their children, even if they're some real pain in their asses. But, if you're really scared that they can be serious with that, then you already know what allows them to play that card: your financial situation. The day you get some job or other income source for your own money to get enough to support yourself, their sword will turn into a straw. So maybe it's time for you to look around for some income source, some appartments to rent, or some friends which would help you with leaving your parents alone with their stubbornness. You can still love them from a distance, and it'll make both of you happier.

 

Edit:

As to watching ponies in secrecy "as if it were porn" -- this is really a bad idea, because his brain could make an association of watching ponies with watching porn, and I guess this could be an easy way to become a clopper.

 

 

 

 

Phew, thanks for the advice. A few things, though:

 

1. My parents don't know what Cloppers are (and never will if I can help it).

 

2. If I say I'm my own person, their response would be "their house, their rules".

 

3. They won't kick me out for liking ponies (they aren't that insane).

 

4. They won't let me question them, only they can question me. Their justification is "we're up here, you're down here" (with hand visuals).

 

5. The NLP thing sounds interesting. I'll look into that.

 

6. Put it this way: one of their "reliable sources" wrote a slanderous article on Bronies. I read it, and it showed the maturity equivalent of the average hater (in other words, none), yet they treated it like gospel.

 

They also consider Fox News a reliable source and watch it regularly as their main source of news. No comment needed.

[Xan 22]

What the freak is wrong with parents these days?!?!? I mean my mom threatened to interveneif I didn't cut back a little but still why do so many parents just judge a book by its cover makes me furious always wanting to control their children even if their moved out of their house

[stainesbrony 219]

Just stay brony, and if your parents dislike Bronies, love and tolerate, or just tolerate (if they are the East Staines Massiv, it's hard to do any of those).

Another way of dealing with them is keeping your Bronydom a secret.

Edited April 4, 2013 by stainesbrony

[SasQ 1,376]

At the first sight of the multi-colored ponies, they began to laugh hysterically. My sister threw her hands up in the air, and imitated the motion of a horse rearing its hooves up in the air. "NEIGHHHH-HE-HE-HE!!!" she bellowed. "I'M LITTLE PON--EEE!! Want a pony ride, little boy??"

 

This is filthy! ;-p No, seriously, it reminds me only one thing:

:-P

 

There definitely should have to be a license for having children, which would require to pass some exam about parenting first ;-P If it could be done for driving cars, why not with having children?

 

1. My parents don't know what Cloppers are (and never will if I can help it).

 

Good for them.

 

2. If I say I'm my own person, their response would be "their house, their rules".

 

Yeah, I know that excuse too. But this works as long as you don't have any alternative.

 

In my case, one day I said "enough is enough!", packed my suitcase and moved to the opposite corner of my country, to work with my friends on an Internet startup project. I had a place to live, and my own income, so they haven't any control over me any longer. I even controlled when they can contact me by answering my phone or not. This was a lesson for them they remember to this day. Now I returned and I live with them again, but now they know to not play that card again, since they know I can pack my suitcase again.

 

Same situation was with my friend, but stronger. His parents controlled him like tyrants, despite he's been already over his 18. They used the same old argument. Fear always works the best. So I advised him to collect some money, plan his own support, and when ready, just leave them and go on his own. Result? He found a lovely job where he could play LEGO Mindstorms bricks and make robots to teach children programming, being paid for a great fun ;-) He earned enough to support himself and pay for his university. Then he started his own company (a franchise of this LEGO bricks stuff), and he's now very happy in his life :-) The relations with his parents went better since then.

 

So I really think that in such situations this is a good way out.

I don't want to advise you doing the same right now, but keep this in mind and plan your future. Be prepared, and be smarter (and more adolescent) than they are.

 

3. They won't kick me out for liking ponies (they aren't that insane).

 

So what are you afraid of?

Fear is a bad adviser.

And they know it. That's why they use fear to control you.

 

I saw how you said that if you do something without them knowing, it will be "going behind their backs". See how they've trained you like a dog? :-P You won't do anything without them knowing, driven by fear of accusation of being a cheater or something like that, making you a prisoner of your own mind! But you're not a cheater. They simply cannot know about your every move! And this is normal: You will do many things in your adult life without them knowing, and there's nothing bad in it. It's how it works for most of the time: they cannot monitor everything (pun intended ;-J ) like if they were some Big Brother with god-like abilities. And they must get with it that they won't know everything about you. And they don't need to. This is your life and your business.

 

4. They won't let me question them, only they can question me. Their justification is "we're up here, you're down here" (with hand visuals).

 

I really cannot understand all this argumentation. What are you? Their slave? Just because they're your parents, doesn't mean that they own you. Threy're "up here" and you're "down there" just because they imagine it to be that way. There's nothing more to support that beside their self-appointed claims.

 

When my parents played the card called "We've made you born, you have to listen to us", I replied: "I didn't asked for this favor. This is an agreemend I didn't signed up." They were mad, of course, but I always defended my position no matter what. They could punish me, they could beat me, but they cannot destroy my free will. It wasn't easy, but it was worth of it.

 

5. The NLP thing sounds interesting. I'll look into that.

 

Yes, this can help. Especially the double bind I mentioned before.

A great example of this technique I once saw performed by Polish NLP master, Matt Grzesiak. Some girl come to him and asked for help because she's not confident. He asked her: "Hmm... Really? I can't believe you're not confident." "BUT I AM!", she replied. "Are you sure?", he asked again. "SURE AS HELL!" Then he said to her: "Now look at you. I've never seen more confident person than you are now." :-D

 

The key to this technique is to use their strongest belief against them to make them contradict themselves to such a degree that all this "double bind" breaks down on itself and they cannot escape the consequences of their own line of thought.

 

They also consider Fox News a reliable source and watch it regularly as their main source of news. No comment needed.

 

:-D

How come I knew that it is about Fox News from the very beginning you've mentioned it for the first time? ;-J As John de Lancie (Discord's voice) said in

: "this station shouldn't call themselves a news station; who has done more to destroy the truth in America than any single institution I know of".

 

Man, from all what you write, it seems to me that you have a way more serious problem than your parents not accepting you're a Brony: they're living Walking Dead! Brainwashed TV-news-programmed zombies who think themselves smart-ass and intelligent and what not. Your Brony-related problem is just a tip of that iceberg.

 

As Shrek said, "Ogres have layers". And your Ogres have layers too: the top layer is how they react to you being a Brony. But it's just a surface level, which is backed up with many other sub-layers which support this top-layer. And they won't allow you to modify this top layer as long as it will be supported by these deeper layers of their beliefs. You cannot remove something which is so deeply rooted. You need to go deeper, and work with them in these deeper layers first, before you'll try with that Brony thingy. No trick will work on them as long as they base their beliefs on what they see on TV news or read in a "reliable" newspaper. And this is also just a front-end program: meant to open them to more programming from the TV. There are deeper programs which have had to be installed first. Such brainwashing is a whole bootstrapping process, which could have started as early as when they were at school, being little kids and open to suggestions from "authorities" like teachers or their parents. This is a whole, self-supporting structure of beliefs (programs) which can be reprogrammed only when worked at the base levels, where it all started. If you really care to help them change, you need to figure out this structure and then try working at these base levels, then everything above will fall on itself, losing the support from deeper layers. Because beliefs which doesn't have such a support in deeper layers, doesn't fit the big picture and they're all eliminated automatically as irrelevant.

 

I have this problem with my own parents trusting too naively to the mass media and what the news say. I'm showing them different examples of how media can manipulate information without people knowing to make an illusion of different reality than it really is. And I'm trying to teach them independent thinking and how to compare information from different places to verify it. But still they're very naive. It's almost like if our roles inverted and now I was their parent teaching them how to deal with the world. What an irony... 9_9

Edited April 5, 2013 by SasQ

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

March up to your parents an tell them how much you like the show, and maybe they'll see that your really do. But don't give up! On your profile, it says your 17 correct? In a year, you'll officialy be an adult, and you can watch whatever you want. Really sorry to hear about it though.

 

/)

Edited April 5, 2013 by Sir.Derpington Hooves

[Eragonrde12 49]

They are even asking you to leave the fandom? Just, just, no, no, no.

 

Tell them that they told you to be yourself, and that is yourself. Even if they don't like yourself.

Edited April 5, 2013 by Eragonrde12

[DoctorWhovian1902 596]

They are even asking you to leave the fandom? Just, just, no, no, no.

no.png

 

Tell them that they told you to be yourself, and that is yourself.

Unfortunately, according to their parental law, chapter A "be yourself"'s amendment, I can only be myself so long as my parents think others will approve of it and/or they approve of it themselves. This law covers lying and making up statements to back up false testaments of others or themselves.

[Eragonrde12 49]

Unfortunately, according to their parental law, chapter A "be yourself"'s amendment, I can only be myself so long as my parents think others will approve of it and/or they approve of it themselves. This law covers lying and making up statements to back up false testaments of others or themselves.

I have never heard of that. Well that might be like in the UK (If youre even in the UK) i don't know, well I'm in the USA, so

That would be pretty harsh if your own parents didn't like you to be yourself though.

[DR Leper Lupinstein 410]

they want you to be yourself but not to be a brony? don't make me laugh! don't stop being a brony just because of what your parents say. you're not hurting anyone, or yourself for that matter. And, if it has to do with the bad media attention, than just shine it on man. just keep being a brony, i mean what are they gonna do? lock you in a closet until you give in to their demands. if they do then you can definitely have them up to their balls in social workers. 

 

keep on fighting! they can't make you not be a brony. because you'll always be a brony in your own heart. it's all up in your head and they can't take something that's inside your own mind. never quit! never surrender!

 

i want you to listen to this song in the meantime and when they fight you play this at FULL BLAST!!!!!:

 

 

do your parents have a phone number we can spam em with?

Edited April 5, 2013 by zombronie

[Thunderchild 875]

Sorry to hear of your trouble-maybe I can offer a perspective from another angle.

 

I'm 42 years old-maybe your parent's age, and I love the show. I want you to understand something from an adult point of view.

 

A lot of adult life sucks. Most people end up in a job they wish they could quit, and deal with pressure that simply doesn't occur to kids.

True, we bring a lot of things on ourselves-we worry needlessly sometimes, as it seems your parents are doing, still it can be difficult sometimes to remember what it's like to be young. Also we have some pretty serious stuff going on in the country at the moment-10 years and counting of hearing about terrorists, and being at war overseas, now North Korea is threatening us, you get the point.

 

So I'm saying all that to say this:

 

You and I have found something in this show that resonates with our respective lives-as different as they are-because the things in it are universal. Relatable characters, gentle entertainment and a positive message. The show makes us happy-and you will find as you go through life that happiness, regardless of it's source is a valuable commodity-something to be guarded.

 

Everyone has an opinion-and they're entitled to it. You are likewise entitled to not live in their opinion, and to make your own decisions regarding what makes you happy.

 

Stand strong-you're not alone.

[Tia Is Best Pony 310]

well thats just dumb of your parents. it does not even make any sense tell them to back off i used to be afraid to argu with a parents untill one say i was a grown up about it. you just need to go up to them and say. guys i think that you are wrong and here is why they will respect you more that way