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Guys... There's a game that I'm suddenly tempted to play... but I'm too scared to want to play it because of my old status of mod developer for a similar and significantly older game. Should I go for it or wait 18 months for the feeling to pass and for my old development friends to forget me?

Play it.

 

How is anyone else going to know what you're playing if you don't tell them?

Edited by Miss H
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Play it.

 

How is anyone else going to know what you're playing if you don't tell them?

Play in absolute secrecy?

 

Why did I even get drawn into the city simulation game community, anyway? My fear is getting involved again with what eventually drove me out of the community in the first place. I wanted to disappear for a reason, so I can be forgotten by everyone in the community.

 

You're right, maybe absolute secrecy is the answer. But do I wanna still seek some way to be reaccepted back into the community or just forget everything and become a hermit?

Edited by Ganaram Inukshuk
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Play in absolute secrecy?

 

Why did I even get drawn into the city simulation game community, anyway? My fear is getting involved again with what eventually drove me out of the community in the first place. I wanted to disappear for a reason, so I can be forgotten by everyone in the community.

 

You're right, maybe absolute secrecy is the answer. But do I wanna still seek some way to be reaccepted back into the community or just forget everything and become a hermit?

I don't know about absolute, but yes, basically.

Whatever you do does not have to be told to them (or anyone for that matter).  There's no reason to worry so much if you want to play it, just do it.

Feelings are a different matter, but I still say to play it anyhow because it's still rather bad to let something like that keep you away from something you'd enjoy. 

 

You don't have to get involved in anything to simply play a game, yo.

 

that one is up to you, dawg. 

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I don't know about absolute, but yes, basically.

Whatever you do does not have to be told to them (or anyone for that matter).  There's no reason to worry so much if you want to play it, just do it.

Feelings are a different matter, but I still say to play it anyhow because it's still rather bad to let something like that keep you away from something you'd enjoy. 

 

You don't have to get involved in anything to simply play a game, yo.

 

that one is up to you, dawg. 

 

Not sure if you know this, but remember by status as a mod developer? It's gone. I had a violent disagreement a year ago around this time and I've been basically removed from the team I used to work with. I told them that I would eventually return and they understood, but now I'm basically doubtful if I could ever be accepted back and I'm just as doubtful if I want to be accepted back.

 

And it's not just one site, it's two sites: the other one where I'm one of the moderators of the site. I was basically team [GAME A] and I wanted no involvement with [GAME B] because I was simply so vested with [GAME A] that I didn't want [GAME B] to detract me. Heck, I even wrote a sociology paper attempting to explain why so many people are keeping [GAME A] alive, even with [GAME B] so wildly popular now. The head dev thought it was cool that I was writing a paper, but I simply never shared the paper with them. Heck, one of my university applications mentions my dev involvement, but after writing that application, I just felt like I didn't wanna be a part of something I never felt like I was ever a part of.

 

I'm even too ashamed to mention the games in question, if you couldn't tell. I really want to forget every shred of involvement with my old dev team; as much as they value my contribution, I can't convince myself that I am valuable. And keep in mind that I was basically trying to perform every job on the team as more and more devs began retiring or began talking about retiring. Jumping to [GAME B] would feel like I would be betraying the rest of my team, but my disappearance would already feel like betrayal. I never told anyone about this because I didn't want to. In a strange twist of fate, it made me return to deviantART after I disappeared for a similar reason nearly three years ago that day. This was also taking place around the same time I had to attend my uncle-in-law's funeral a trillion miles northwest. Never have I felt isolated from the world that I thought that my dev team would think of me as a traitor during that time period.

 

And my profile still has remnants and my Youtube channel is filled with everything I've done; taking those down would be seen as betrayal.

 

I'm just so ashamed at all the damage I've done that I just want to erase my influence and every memory of my involvement entirely since it's the only way I could ever feel like I could move on from that event, but I can't. Runescape barely fills the void. Minecraft barely fills the void. Prison Architect barely fills the void. Even my trillion-mile commute to uni and back, it still comes back to mind. If I can't be forgiven, I want to be forgotten.

 

I said I would return by 2017, but I've been pushing it as far back as 2028 and 2032, just so I can forget and be forgotten forever. Playing [GAME B] would just remind me of everything again.

 

 

 

 

Maybe I'll just keep trying to forget until I'm able to look at [GAME B] with a fresh look.

Edited by Ganaram Inukshuk
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I wish I could fully explain where I'm coming from. It's not that easy for me to make such a jump.

Alright, I guess I wouldn't really know then.

 

I've never really been in a situation like that before.

Edited by Punicpunch
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I don't know how I managed to fall asleep last night. I didn't think I would make myself feel so bad about myself.

 

Whatever. I didn't wanna spend money I don't have on a new game, anyway. Anything new happen?

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It happens but some of us don't like it when that happens.

 

True. Every time you post I get irritated.

 

 

 

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TALK THE WAY I WANT YOU TO TALK  :=:

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Oh what a day, been a long day at work, I just got home, and I got some things that I need to do... Heh. How is everyone doing right now? And who is here right now?

 

:okiedokieloki:

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Still trying to feel better from last night's emotional overflow and still suppressing every urge to want to play that new game. Looks like nothing important has happened.
 

Oh what a day, been a long day at work, I just got home, and I got some things that I need to do... Heh. How is everyone doing right now? And who is here right now?


Cinny, I don't know how you'd respond to the kind of situation I had, but I wanna hear your advice about it. It's either find some way to play that game I really wanna play or just keep suppressing the urge to play until I don't wanna play it.

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Hi, I guess.

 

Fell asleep at I have no idea when and I needed to catch up on my reading.

 

What are you needing to read? I need to go to bed soon. I got a day off tomorrow but I wand to go over to Kansas City.. That is if I can make it.

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What are you needing to read? I need to go to bed soon. I got a day off tomorrow but I wand to go over to Kansas City.. That is if I can make it.

 

:okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:  :okiedokieloki:

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