Child Abuse Vrant

[WarGrowlmon1990 94]

Mm..I don't really understand the reasoning for it either. I didn't back then, and I still don't now.

 

My father was the angry type. He has a few mental disorders, and gets angry pretty easily.

My father was abusive. He'd explode from anger and..you know..

I never knew what I did wrong. He'd just start yelling at me and violence would ensue.

 

 

I still don't understand why he had to turn to abusive actions so I did what he wanted, but eh.

But no, I don't blame my father. Not completely anyway. I blame my mother, really..looking back at it now. Why didn't she ever notice?

Wouldn't a mother notice that the father was beating her child?

Apparently not.

 

I was subjected to yelling and violence anyway.

And she never noticed.

So I kinda have a bit of a grudge and a bit of hatred against my mother. (A few other reasons as well. Won't mention them right now.)

 

 

 I'm sorry to hear about that happening to you. My fiance went through a very similar situation. He and all of his siblings were beat by their dad while his mother just stood by and did nothing. It sickens me how one parent could let another parent do that to their children.

 

 My mom did spank me with a wooden spoon one time when I was four and she slapped me when I was eleven, and another time when I was nine and clogged the toilet my dad yelled at me that I was a "stupid fucking kid" and slapped me, but I don't count those as physical abuse. Those were nothing compared to the beatings my fiance got when he was a kid as well as what many of you on here went through. But as for emotional abuse... I got that pretty bad. My dad's got an explosive temper as well and he'd pick on me for being sensitive when I was little. I guess you could say that my family is an unexaggerated version of the Griffins on Family Guy. That's why Meg's always been my favorite character; I can just relate to her. Ever since I can remember my parents have been condescending towards me and basically everything that I do. One time when I was in grade eight some nasty girls spread a rumor about me cause they were jealous of me. I came home crying and right as I was explaining to my parents what happened, my dad cut me off by shouting, "You know why they make fun of you?! IT'S BECAUSE YOU CRY!!!" I went on to explain to him that that wasn't the reason - the girls spread a rumor that I stuffed my bra, which was a straight up lie - and my dad didn't even apologise. He just shrugged as if he did nothing wrong. Over the years I've learned that my parents are the type of people who believe that they're always the victims and they never do anything wrong. And that they'll never do the mature thing and apologise. Last year when I was feeling extremely suicidal, my mom told me to go ahead and kill myself. She never apologised (until I brought it up a year later... it was forced and not a real apology). When my mom told me to do that (over the phone of all things) my dad called me after that and demanded I apologise for making HER cry. The most recent stunt they've pulled is wanting nothing to do with me anymore just because I'm pregnant. My sister had her kid when she was only 16. I'm 22 and they're treating me as if I'm a child. My dad reacted by yelling, screaming and swearing at me, which put so much stress on me that I snapped. I started yelling back at him. I told him that I could flip him off just like he did to me, but I've got more respect to sink to his level. I did my best to tell my parents about what they've done wrong all these years but they just refused to listen to me. Needless to say, I've cut my parents out of my life because not only did they want me to kill my baby, they want nothing to do with my fiance anymore who has been far more supportive than they ever have. Not to mention, they're continuing the never ending cycle of emotional abuse. I refuse to have my baby around that. The last thing I want is for my child to be hurt like I was. I've learned from my parents mistakes simply by observing them. If my child ever suffers from suicidal thoughts, I'll NEVER tell them to go ahead and do it. I know that there will be times where I may get frustrated, I'm pretty sure all parents do, but I won't damage my child by screaming and swearing at them either. I know I haven't had the worst life, and there's been no physical abuse, but I believe that emotional abuse can be horrible in certain cases. Physical scars can heal in many cases. With emotional abuse, you're permanantly mind-fucked and scarred for the rest of your life.  But physical abuse is most likely the worst though because in many cases, emotional abuse comes with it. I know for a fact that no child should ever have to endure any form of abuse. That could be the reason why there are so many people committing heinous crimes and murders these days. They're simply carrying on the patterns they learned from their families.

Edited April 24, 2013 by WarGrowlmon1990

[Nothing&NoOne 695]

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world she didn't exist.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Nothing&NoOne

[Sugarcube 213]

Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. It is always so easy to view the world in black and white, to point fingers and say this is good and this is evil. Rarely is anything that clearly defined.

 

I am a child abuse survivor, not of the physical but I was sexually abused by an uncle. I don't wish him dead, I don't want to find him and kill him, what would be the point? I would like to see him get help, to answer why he did it, what happened to him and how could he heal from that so he never hurt anyone again. He is a sick person that did something horrific to me and for so long I told myself he was evil scum that was that. But see no, it isn't just that. People can be sick and do horrific.things to others, but you have to ask why, what happened to them along the way to make them so sick to hurt others.

 

The easy answer is to say let's kill them all but that won't fix the problem, it won't get to why these people emerge and take things out on others in such am extreme way. They aren't some demon species you can eradicate with a gun because most people who abuse others, no matter the means, are not born as abusers they are shaped and influenced and finally make that horrible decision to harm for some reason.

 

Also, it is very naive of you to think that when a child gets placed in foster care they suddenly get a fairy tale ending and get placed in an amazing loving home. Most kids don't, people who foster children can be abusers to and i know people who had foster parents that abused them. There are kids that grow up their whol life's in the foster system and then at 18 are shoved out into the world with no support, no family, no skills, no job, absolutely nothing. Just because they are removed from a bad situation doesn't mean they are suddently saved or put into a better situation.

Edited April 17, 2013 by Sugarcube

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

we're the two advocating for peace and change instead of violence and torture.

*cough cough COUGH*

D:<

 

But I agree about the rest, and I'll explain why.

Here's my personal experience, with the less relevant part in spoilers. You'll note that I didn't get a lot of bad stuff from adults, but the other kids were a problem.

 

I've had horrible experiences with bullies, not beating me up but still harassing me mentally (also physically on a few occasions). I've always disliked all of it, and spent my childhood hating all of them.

It got worse when we came to France, since the people here have a historical hatred of the Turkish people. It was mostly boys since it was a boy school, but I also received the same treatment from girls in summer camps.

Then, two "things" happened that helped put some perspective on things.

 

- First was a boy in German class, who sat behind me and would pick on me a lot. But one day (that is after months of harassment), he just walked up to me, looking worried and saying "Look, I really didn't wanna hurt you so much. Would you forgive me, and be my friend?"

I told him he had really been upsetting me, but I'd give him another chance. And then, believe it or not, he really STOPPED bothering me AT ALL.

 

- Second was in summer camp, or rather a horseback-trekking group for teens, nearly exclusively composed of girls (2 boys in, like, 20 in total?). One of them (a redhead) who was arrogant and loud and bitchy to me, once pushed me over the edge and I walked out in frustration, sulking and trying to calm down. I got even more angered by the other girls who tried to appease me with "you must understand, it's because her parents don't respect her", to which I replied simply: "Well, it's not MY fault, is it?" I just couldn't imagine why she'd take it all out on me, of all people.

But once again, something strange happened. The redhead came to see me, and tried to cheer me up with a few jokes, picking on the girls for fun. I actually recall smiling at that moment.

 

So I really consider myself lucky, actually, seeing most of the things I've been through were pretty benign. Not to mention, when I'd tell my parents, especially my mother, they'd be pretty supportive (if not clumsily).

But I was really sensitive about that, and anxious about interacting with people because of it (still am).

 

I vaguely recall a quote I'll paraphrase, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, leaves a world full of blind and toothless people".