Now That’s A Pinkie Pie!

[Queen Cassie 3,057]

So, this is a goofy story I wrote for the blog Thirty Minute Pony Stories. (It's a blog I founded for practicing writing. A prompt is posted each day, and you have to write a story based upon that prompt within thirty minutes.)  The original story was posted here.

Warning: the following story is silly as all get out. The original prompt was "Get ready for the fight of your life." I interpreted this in the most ridiculous way possible.

~*~
 

Heat! Steam! Everything around me is glowing! Oh my gosh I can feel the heat rising from beneath me, pushing down from above, filling me up! I’m bubbling! Melting!

Wait, no… I can feel it. Something inside me’s all gooey and fluffing out, like a … like I don’t know what it is! I’m not even sure what I am! I can feel. I’m alive.

But what am I?

Oh that gooey stuff is churning. It was all drippy, but now its soaking in, red and moist. And now my… skin? Is skin the word I want? It’s hardening up! It was all soft and mushy but now it’s becoming crispy and neat. Flaky, even!

Oh what was that? Was that a ding? I heard a ding! And a voice! “It’s done!” the voice cries.

Something in front of me opens; the heat is flooding out. I can see a big room and two giant pink things reaching for me! What’s it doing?! I’m… oh, it’s carrying me out. Freedom from the heat! The heat was good but the cool room I’m in now is even better!

The thing carrying me sets me on a hard surface… a counter? Counter’s a good word. I like counter. I can see a big face staring down at me, all covered in pink like what it used to carry me. Two round, gorgeous blue eyes and a big mouth full of grinning teeth. Is it going to eat me? But I don’t even know what I am yet!

It sniffs at me, taking in some of the steam rising off my skin. “Mmm—mm! You smell juuust right. You’re a perfect pie!” Pie? Is that me? Is that my name? Or is that what I am? It must be what I am. I’m a pie! But why am I pie? What am I even for?

“Pinkie Pie?” calls another voice, this one all high and scratchy. I can’t see where it is.

“In here, Dashie!” says the thing standing over me. It’s looking down at me. That look in its eyes is all entranced and caring… and proud. Proud of me? It must be. And its name. That was its name right? Pinkie? Pinkie Pie? Is it a pie too? It doesn’t look like a pie, but that other one called it a pie so maybe it is a pie? Ooooh, wait, maybe that’s why it called me pie! It’s my mom! Pinkie Pie is my mom!

Hi Mom! Look at me! Look at me!

Something wooshs through the room, a big burst of cyan. “Hey Pinkie! What smells so good?” says this new thing. Must be Dashie. It looks a lot like my mom, only smaller and leaner and with two big huge odd shaped thingies covered in some kinda fuzzy stuff. Feathers? Feathers. That’s a good word. I like feathers. They look nice!

“Oh I was just making Fluttershy a cherry pie,” Pinkie says. “She’s been feeling kinda down lately, so I thought a good little treat’d perk her right up!”

Fluttershy? I was made for Fluttershy? I have purpose! I have a reason to live! Mommy, I’m going to make you proud. You’ll be proud of your little cherry pie, count on it!

Dashie looks at me and licks its… no, her lips. She looks hungry. Hungry? Wait! No! Don’t eat me! I’m not for you! Don’t you dare lay one feather on me! I’ll cover you in goo before I let you ruin my purpose for life! “Looks so good,” Dashie says. Her mouth opens and a tiny bit of drool falls out, landing on my crust. “Can I have a bite?”

“No!” Pinkie hefts me out from under Dashie and holds me tight. That’s right Mom. Keep me safe. I gotta stay safe till I can get to Fluttershy, whoever she is. “It’s for Fluttershy.”

“But it smells so gooood and I’m starving!”

I can see my mom set her mouth and glare at Dashie. “I said no.”

“Pinkie!” calls a third voice, all whiny and needy, but thready too.

“Yeah Mr. Cake?” replies my mom.

“Can you get out here and help Cup and I set up the display table? We’re having a bit of a problem!”

My mom purses her lips and stares down at me, then looks at Dashie. “Yeah, just a sec!” She sets me down on the counter? But no, Mom, you can’t do that! Don’t you see that look in Dashie’s eyes? She’ll eat me! She can’t eat me! Only Fluttershy can eat me! Please don’t leave me here, Mom!

She points one of her big thingies she used to pick me up at Dashie. “I’ll be right back. Please don’t touch the pie, Dashie. I can make you another one in a little bit.” Then she walks away, casting one last glance at little old me laying on the counter.

I’m scared. I’m shaking in my pan. Dashie’s watching my mom leave and now she’s looking back at me and her mouth opens up and I just know she’s about to sink those big huge flat teeth into me and rip me apart! “I don’t think Fluttershy’ll mind if I nibble just a little bit,” Dashie says.

Her giant feather things flap and she comes closer, and closer. I have to do something! But what can I do? I’m just a pie! I can’t even move!

Or can I? I must. I must! I’ve gotta shake myself off the counter somehow. I try. I put so much effort into moving. But nothing’s happening and Dashie is right over me!

Oh my goodness her mouth is lowering! Her teeth! They’re sinking into my crust. It… it actually feels kind of good…

Oh…

No, no, no! I can’t enjoy this! She’s not the one who’s allowed to eat me. I throw every last bit of willpower into shifting, falling, something!

“Dashie!” my mom screams!

I’m falling off the counter, onto the floor! My gooey cherry filling is covering the floor with the pan laying over me… I’m draining out… I can’t even see anything anymore.

Mom?

Mom.

Mom I’m sorry…

I… I can hear her saying something to Dashie but I can’t even make out the words… my life is fading…

I’m so sorry Mom.

I let you down.

Tell Fluttershy… I tried…