Help with making my new OC?

[Poetic Inkwell 32]

This right here, is my current OC that I call Poetic Inkwell.

 

 

I made it quiet a while back, but now that I look at it. It feels like I could do better. I would like if possible for people to give me a few ideas, so here is a little brief summary of my OC's backstory that I have worked out myself.

 

" Poetic Inkwell is a shy and quiet young stallion who grew up in the busy city of Manehattan. Ever since he was young and first attended school he wasn't always the greatest at speaking his mind. He needed help to get passed this block that has prevented him from making friends and speaking his mind. His teacher one day taught a lesson that ended up changing the young colts life, and that lesson was to write poetry. The shy and quiet stallion ended up enjoying the lesson that was taught to him, especially after his teacher ended up giving him the top grade in the class for the lesson. His teacher helped him, open up his heart and put his words and thoughts into various artistic ballads and poems so he could actually express himself without always needing to speak himself."

 

That's the rough little jist of my OC's backstory, took me a little to write out and I admit it could be better due to all the various spelling errors and punctuation errors.

 

I would love to get help with improving my OC from anywhere from changing its look, to improving his cutie mark design, to even improving in his backstory. All help is welcome, criticism it welcome no matter how harsh. 

 

So please somepony, if you don't mind, lend a fellow brony a hoof?

 

 

(The reason I'm in such a mood to change my OC and get to work on making it better, is because I saw another person's OC that I literally fell in love with. That OC by the way would be Tiarawhy's, and don't worry I know what she is known for...I found her OC when I was fooling around on the MLP Fan Labor  wiki. Just incase your wondering.)

[Landstride 15]

Well here is my opinion on it. He I feel that he looks a little too refined to be sporting a mane and tail like that. In addition, I'm not too sure about the multicolored wings. They might go well for him, but a solid color might suit him better. Once again this is just my own little opinion on it. I hope you didn't mind that. 

 

If I notice anything else that I feel can be improved upon, I'll let you know.

[Poetic Inkwell 32]

Well here is my opinion on it. He I feel that he looks a little too refined to be sporting a mane and tail like that. In addition, I'm not too sure about the multicolored wings. They might go well for him, but a solid color might suit him better. Once again this is just my own little opinion on it. I hope you didn't mind that. 

 

If I notice anything else that I feel can be improved upon, I'll let you know.

I don't mind at all, anything to me at this point is helpful. Sadly at the moment I'm not to sure if I will keep it as a pegasus because I may just end up making it either a unicorn or an earth pony.

[Nomadic 210]

From what I see the backstory needs to be expanded upon more. By that I mean, you should write more into how his shyness affected his personal life prior to finding his talent, i.e., was he treated badly by those around him. It also seems to be lacking in what he does currently for work or in his personal life as he does look fully grown. These are areas that really help flesh out much of the character, and show how he has changed over time. I do think you have a very strong starting point though.

 

I don't mind at all, anything to me at this point is helpful. Sadly at the moment I'm not to sure if I will keep it as a pegasus because I may just end up making it either a unicorn or an earth pony.

 

This is probably a good idea as your OC really doesn't gain anything from being a pegasus.   Furthermore, most often unicorns are perceived as the pony race that has greatest dexterity for such things due to their magic, and often the most creative when it comes to things such as literature/art.

 

Also as a random side-note, I really like the colour-scheme you chose for him.

Edited August 10, 2013 by Nomadic

[Poetic Inkwell 32]

From what I see the backstory needs to be expanded upon more. By that I mean, you should write more into how his shyness affected his personal life prior to finding his talent, i.e., was he treated badly by those around him. It also seems to be lacking in what he does currently for work or in his personal life as he does look fully grown. These are areas that really help flesh out much of the character, and show how he has changed over time. I do think you have a very strong starting point though.

 

 

This is probably a good idea as your OC really doesn't gain anything from being a pegasus.   Furthermore, most often unicorns are perceived as the pony race that has greatest dexterity for such things due to their magic, and often the most creative when it comes to things such as literature/art.

 

Also as a random side-note, I really like the colour-scheme you chose for him.

Thank you, I do admit the backstory needs alot more work. That's exactly the reason I'm planning on changing him to more then likely into a unicorn, and I'm glad you like the colour-scheme I thought it would work perfectly because it references parchment and ink  which seems like the perfect combo for a writer.