Count to a million

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

89117

[Retro*Derpy 3,195]

89118

 

Anything new with you base?

Edited June 14, 2014 by Retro*Derpy

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

89119

 

Not really. How about you?

[Retro*Derpy 3,195]

89120

 

naw ssdd.

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

89121

[Retro*Derpy 3,195]

89122

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

89123

 

I'm heading to bed. Good night.

[Retro*Derpy 3,195]

89124

 

good night base.

[M'aiq the Liar 5,804]

89,125

Base always goes to sleep right as I get on.

[Magic Gypsy Dice 347]

89,126

I'm going to Comic Con Denver!        http://denvercomiccon.com/

Bye!

[gameangel147 5,915]

89127

 

Hey guys! 

 

Or who ever hasn't gone. 

 

Congrats Wal, even though you just left. 

[M'aiq the Liar 5,804]

89,128

I'm here gamey. Not that it matters much, but I am here.

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

I might as well contribute to this madness. Wish me luck everypony, once I enter there is no escape!

89,129

[gameangel147 5,915]

89130

 

Hi Miaq and Cross. 

 

We are well aware of the trap this game is.  Welcome.  :comeatus:

 

So Spain lost badly to Netherlands. 

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.131

 

hello everypony^^ ... if somepony is even here

[gameangel147 5,915]

89132

 

Hi Rising! 

 

How are you?

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.133

 

I'm fine^^

[gameangel147 5,915]

89134

 

So I'm almost done with Chapter 2, but there are some things you should consider changing, like the first optional scene.

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.135

 

optional scene?

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

89,134.

I see Rainbow Dash fans everywhere here! Tis' fine though, cause she's my favourite of the mane 6! 

Edited June 14, 2014 by The Golden Cross

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.137

 

hello Golden^^

[gameangel147 5,915]

89138

 

Yeah, you know the explicit scenes that are optional in dotted lines.

 

And yes, Rainbow Dash is everywhere! 

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.139

 

Oh yeah, but why?

 

RD

[gameangel147 5,915]

89140

 

Well the first scene is small, and I question whether it is even needed since it is so small.  Second after the scene, it picks up right after, so anyone who doesn't read it is going to be confused, since he asks her a question, and then he says "....too much information!" without her responding.  If you make an optional scene, it has to make sense, as if that optional scene weren't there.  Also it shouldn't have any character or plot development, in other words her love of reading Daring Do.  That isn't fair to the readers who skip the scene.

 

Your options are: 

 

-eliminate the scene altogether and just mention the books.

 

-if you really want the scene then just change the words to be less explicit.

 

-if you want it to be explicit, remove the books, fix the line after the scene and maybe add more since there is barely anything there.

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,969]

89.141

 

Now I see