Count to a million

[Gabosor 3,093]

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[DasCapschen 7,764]

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[BastementSparkle 20,312]

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Edited January 10, 2018 by BasementSparkle

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

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Hi Base

What's convinced you that everyone hates you?

Edited January 10, 2018 by Dawnchaser

[DasCapschen 7,764]

435036

BASEY

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435037 

[DasCapschen 7,764]

435038

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435039

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

435040

Because I really hate myself, and the only person I really talk to anymore often is Rising, and I pretty much end up ruining his mood every day by being negative about myself and worrying if he's sick of me or not yet, and I feel like I'm ignored on the forums now, and I can't talk to my parents about anything anymore because they're already stressed and just remind me of how I stress people out every time I try to talk to them.

 Also, Hi Dawn. Hi CAPS.

Edited January 10, 2018 by BasementSparkle

[DasCapschen 7,764]

435040

Hmm, that't not nice :/

Why do you hate yourself though?
Not a psychologist or anything, but I think unless that changes nothing ever will

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435042

Difficult to get yourself out of a rut.

Feels bad about weight, comfort eats, makes problem worse :c

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

435043

Dunno the real answer to that, it's been an ongoing problem since I was a kid. It doesn't seem to be tied to anything in particular, just a whole bunch of different things. If I try to change my situation, my brain will just pick on something else to make it happen. It ends up in a loop though, cause I think I'm awful and terrible, and then cause I feel so bad I do something, like ruin a friends day with overwhelming negativity, or fail to do something, and then it just get's worse, which makes me more tempted to do more similar stuff, which again, will feed into it.

 It's hard, because sometimes literally nothing will stop it. I can have a great day, play my favorite game, watch my favorite show, even actually be productive and get something done for once...and then I'll feel bad anyway, and feel even worse because it's like all the stuff I did just means nothing, what's even the point of doing anything if I just feel bad anyway?

 It's exactly like that Dawn.

Edited January 10, 2018 by BasementSparkle

[DasCapschen 7,764]

435044

Stupid positive feedback loops :/

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

435045

Indeed.

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435046

Just need something to break the cycle

[DasCapschen 7,764]

435047

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

435048

I was in a good mood this morning too. Checked the blog for my favorite game, Binding of Isaac and found that a new DLC is possibly being hinted at, after more than a year of thinking the last one was the final one. Made me feel pretty happy, then my mood just dropped like a rock anyway.

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435049

Anything in particular trigger that moo change?

*mood

[DasCapschen 7,764]

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[BastementSparkle 20,312]

435051

Nah, was just fine. Then "Oh, right, I hate myself and everyone else hates me too"...That's basically the best way to sum it up, just happened. If there was a trigger of some kind I didn't consciously notice it. Sometimes there is, but not today, it seems.

[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

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[DasCapschen 7,764]

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[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435054

[DasCapschen 7,764]

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[Dawnchaser 🌄 8,087]

435056

Still standby tomorrow, in case that phone rings at 0400 I'd best get some sleep.

Night Base

Night Caps

Night CtaM