Count to a million

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80841

 

Blue, NOOOO! I was about to post half of an entire 20-post page... ;_;

Edited June 1, 2014 by The Candlekeeper

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.842

 

BLUE

[gameangel147 5,915]

80843

 

Yeah, because it looks like you just wrote it down and that's it.  Revision is important in writing, and your first draft is rarely your final draft.  Also I've noticed that you have long sections of pure dialogue with no other writing.  It might help to write what else is happening in the conversation.  It would help the reader keep track of who says what.

 

And hi Red! 

Edited June 1, 2014 by gameangel147

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80844

 

But, yeah, haiya Blue!

[Fishy Stick 7,833]

80,845

 

Hello Blue.

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80846

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.845

 

I know Game, but when I write something what happened ... when nothing happen? Should I write in the middle of a dialouge, that a cloud flies or a leaf falling from tree? XD

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80848

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,927]

80849

80841

 

Blue, NOOOO! I was about to post half of an entire 20-post page... ;_;

Everyone but me and Candle leave when we reach the next page.

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.849

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80851

 

 

80849

Everyone but me and Candle leave when we reach the next page.

XD

Edited June 1, 2014 by The Candlekeeper

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.852

[gameangel147 5,915]

80853

 

No, but something descriptive would work.  Like "I said pretending to understand what she said."  It's a first person story so you have the ability to tell the reader what the character is thinking.

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80854

Edited June 1, 2014 by The Candlekeeper

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.855

 

Hmmm, yeah, I could use his thinking more often

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,927]

80854

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.857

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80857

[Fishy Stick 7,833]

80,857

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80860

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.861

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80862

[Deae Rising Shine~ 57,394]

80.863

[CandleCandleCandles 2,012]

80864

[gameangel147 5,915]

80865

 

Pretty much yeah.