Suggestion about elevated amount of negativity around forums

[Sir Hugsalot 9,348]

Well, recently it has come to my attention that amount of negative/depressing status updates, blog entries has greatly increased. It includes suicide threats and is becoming quite serious problem as it starts to destroy entire forum's atmosphere what few people told me already. And I came to conclusion that something should be done about it, at least in my opinion. So I have few suggestions that in my opinion might reduce the problem I'd like to share with You guys.

 

 

1. I think things like suicide should be kept within gates of Life Advice section. So in my opinion people who write statuses like that should receive a message explaining where should they ask for help. It should first not include any warning point, but if such person would keep spamming with being suicidal in status/blog they should get proper amount of warning points. I know, it is harsh, but making entire forum look depressed is not best way to deal with such negative thoughts. And Life Advice section exists for a reason and is made to help such people. Also it is pretty clear that some of such status updates are made to fish for attention, I have my suspicions about specific users, but I won't go with names - I can be wrong here about them.

 

2. There are people on forums (with me included) that want to help others. Why not gathering all of them in one pinned thread in Life Advice and for example specifying what can certain person help with? I am sure some people would be willing to help. Also not everyone wants to make a thread about his personal problems. Some prefer to talk with someone in private and feel more comfortable that way. It would certainly help them if such list of users exists as they'd not have to dive through super long list of users online. 

 

 

What do You think about it? Problems I've mentioned are really becoming serious and everyone starts to notice that slowly and IMO something DEFINITELY should be done with this or things will get out of hand soon. Making entire forum depressed is not best way to provide fun, especially to younger and more sensitive users. 

[King 5,625]

This is something that's already being addressed. Its been a matter of discussion for staff for the last few weeks and we believe we've come to a conclusion, though nothing is set in stone yet.

[Sir Hugsalot 9,348]

This is something that's already being addressed. Its been a matter of discussion for staff for the last few weeks and we believe we've come to a conclusion, though nothing is set in stone yet.

I was looking for a thread about this. I probably missed it, sorry. Anyway I hope it will be settled soon, one friend of mine already left this forum for a while (fortunately she's back now) because of all this drama and I really would hate to see it happening again. I understand that life may be tough to some people but that's what Life Advice is for. Well, if there is a conclusion then I am waiting for it to become officla, thanks for answer

[Shanks 10,816]

I am not denying there are a of blog posts and status updates about suicide and other depressing topics and I can understand the point about status updates as you can't really see what they are about until you click on them (unless you view "recent status updates") but it is usually not that hard to tell when a blog post is about a topic like that as most of the ones I have seen have rather provocative titles like "life is not worth living anymore, goodbye". I can understand the concern about people just wanting attention but at the same time while I would respect it if there was a rule barring such posts from anywhere other than the life advice section at the same time I do get tired of all these people saying "there is so many negative topics". I can understand people not wanting to take part in such matters but it seems like the best course of action in most cases is to simply excercise that discretion and leave it at that. The irony is a lot of the people complaining about "negativity" are actually creating more negativity.

[Sir Hugsalot 9,348]

I am not denying there are a of blog posts and status updates about suicide and other depressing topics and I can understand the point about status updates as you can't really see what they are about until you click on them (unless you view "recent status updates") but it is usually not that hard to tell when a blog post is about a topic like that as most of the ones I have seen have rather provocative titles like "life is not worth living anymore, goodbye". I can understand the concern about people just wanting attention but at the same time while I would respect it if there was a rule barring such posts from anywhere other than the life advice section at the same time I do get tired of all these people saying "there is so many negative topics". I can understand people not wanting to take part in such matters but it seems like the best course of action in most cases is to simply excercise that discretion and leave it at that. The irony is a lot of the people complaining about "negativity" are actually creating more negativity.

It's actually first time I am mentioning this in public and I for sure did not do it to add my share of negativity to forums. It's just as much as I do my best to help the ones in need, more and more people are out of nowhere threatening to commit suicide and talking about how depressed they are (With some of them obviously faking it to fish for attention). Life is harsh to some people, I know, but that's what Life Advice is for, right? Then why not posting about it there, where someone will actually want to help? This matter is really getting out of hand and I still say something needs to be done about it. 

[Guest90210 3,568]

I disagree. No one is forcing you to read anyone's status or blogs. You can unfriend someone to not receive their notifications if you don't want to deal with them. And you could always just avoid any blog or status you want no part of. As someone who has severe depression and anxiety, I understand the need to blow off some steam at times.

 

And besides, there are plenty of people who post pointless, one word status updates and blogs all of the time, yet I never see people complain about that. It's called a status update. If your status is "depressed", then you're using the function properly if that is your current mood (status). I don't agree with giving people the impression that  "Your status update is bad. You can't post about that!"

Edited May 24, 2014 by Rivendare

[Lightwing 12,973]

I disagree. No one is forcing you to read anyone's status or blogs. You can unfriend someone to not receive their notifications if you don't want to deal with them. And you could always just avoid any blog or status you want no part of. As someone who has severe depression and anxiety, I understand the need to blow off some steam at times.

 

And besides, there are plenty of people who post pointless, one word status updates and blogs all of the time, yet I never see people complain about that. It's called a status update. If your status is "depressed", then you're using the function properly if that is your current mood (status). I don't agree with giving people the impression that "Your status update is bad. You can't post about that!"

I'm not conplaining about "depressing" status updates or blogs.

I have bad days too,and I say that i'm not ok,per example.But there's a difference between a status update and the spam.

I've seen multiple users who tend to spam about their sad mood,and,although the first time can make you feel "I should help him/her",there's a point where that becomes tiring.

[Guest90210 3,568]

I'm not conplaining about "depressing" status updates or blogs.

I have bad days too,and I say that i'm not ok,per example.But there's a difference between a status update and the spam.

I've seen multiple users who tend to spam about their sad mood,and,although the first time can make you feel "I should help him/her",there's a point where that becomes tiring.

 

Exactly, but as I said, I see people pumping out status updates that contain only a single word, are inside jokes, or are just complete randomness. Yet I don't hear complaints demanding people stop doing that when that can also be consider "spam".

[Lightwing 12,973]

Exactly, but as I said, I see people pumping out status updates that contain only a single word, are inside jokes, or are just complete randomness. Yet I don't hear complaints demanding people stop doing that when that can also be consider "spam".

Exactly.I've saw status updates saying "w00t"(Literally) that reached the max cap of commentaries(100)

But i'm going off topic.It's true that there're stupid status updates and blogs,with less than a few words,and they receive commentaries,brohoofa and all the attention,following a spammy way,but no one complains about them

Edited May 24, 2014 by Lightwing

[King 5,625]

@@Lightwing, @,  The essential idea behind what we've been discussing is that people dont want to wake up to a forum with a front page of nothing but depressing status updates that never end. It brings down the mood and can turn people off. We aren't planning to ban people from making status updates when they're having a shit day, but we do want to heavily suggest that people having serious issues with depression partake in our life advice subsection. Here they can be free to let whatever they want off of their chest and have people there to listen and offer advice to them.

Edited May 24, 2014 by Dawn Rider

[Sir Hugsalot 9,348]

Exactly, but as I said, I see people pumping out status updates that contain only a single word, are inside jokes, or are just complete randomness. Yet I don't hear complaints demanding people stop doing that when that can also be consider "spam".

The difference is that spam updates You mention are not bringing mood of other's down. And in it's hard to miss such status updates when more and more people make them. What do You expect me to do? Close my eyes when browsing status updates? But then I won't see the ones that are interesting to me as well. 

[DubWolf 17,264]

How about a "sad status" spoiler so people know it's there, and don't have to look at it? I know it's probably difficult to do, to enable some sort of spoiler on a status, but something like that should help.

[Eloquence 2,076]

I actually came to this section of the forum intending to post a new thread with a suggestion, but seeing as it happens to heavily pertain to this particular topic I think it would be more fitting to put it here. 

 

Perhaps it would help if there were a section of the forums for people to post in when in need of encouragement or support. Life Advice is certainly a good section to have but it likely is misread by many members as a place to just go for advice, not a place to seek or give emotional support. 

 

I think it would benefit the forum to have a specific "Support and Encouragement" section, perhaps as a subsection to "Life Advice". People in need of care can make threads discussing those needs, and others happy to give that care can do so by posting thereon. There can even be a pinned post covering various resources for people struggling with different emotional issues, as well as one that maintains a list of active users who make themselves available for emotional support through PMs for those users who want to seek help more privately. 

 

As a side note, I think "Fluttershy's Cottage" would be a very cute and fitting name for such a section

[Cassafrass 249]

I disagree. No one is forcing you to read anyone's status or blogs. You can unfriend someone to not receive their notifications if you don't want to deal with them. And you could always just avoid any blog or status you want no part of. As someone who has severe depression and anxiety, I understand the need to blow off some steam at times.

 

And besides, there are plenty of people who post pointless, one word status updates and blogs all of the time, yet I never see people complain about that. It's called a status update. If your status is "depressed", then you're using the function properly if that is your current mood (status). I don't agree with giving people the impression that  "Your status update is bad. You can't post about that!"

I agree with this. And besides, is there really a way to stop people from posting what they want on their status or blog? I mean, it's THEIR stuff... they can decide what to do with it. Isn't that the purpose of a blog anyway...? I also agree with Eloquence though. Having another section for emotional support would really be great... and Fluttershy's Cottage sounds like an adorable name imo! :3

[NavelColt 22,881]

The staff's talked at length about this issue; in fact, it's one of our priories at the moment :3 A little more patience, as the remainder of work to do with our approach to the issue, at least to start with, is on the cusp of being publicly published.

[kelseymarie805 301]

Well, recently it has come to my attention that amount of negative/depressing status updates, blog entries has greatly increased. It includes suicide threats and is becoming quite serious problem as it starts to destroy entire forum's atmosphere what few people told me already. And I came to conclusion that something should be done about it, at least in my opinion. So I have few suggestions that in my opinion might reduce the problem I'd like to share with You guys.

 

 

1. I think things like suicide should be kept within gates of Life Advice section. So in my opinion people who write statuses like that should receive a message explaining where should they ask for help. It should first not include any warning point, but if such person would keep spamming with being suicidal in status/blog they should get proper amount of warning points. I know, it is harsh, but making entire forum look depressed is not best way to deal with such negative thoughts. And Life Advice section exists for a reason and is made to help such people. Also it is pretty clear that some of such status updates are made to fish for attention, I have my suspicions about specific users, but I won't go with names - I can be wrong here about them.

 

2. There are people on forums (with me included) that want to help others. Why not gathering all of them in one pinned thread in Life Advice and for example specifying what can certain person help with? I am sure some people would be willing to help. Also not everyone wants to make a thread about his personal problems. Some prefer to talk with someone in private and feel more comfortable that way. It would certainly help them if such list of users exists as they'd not have to dive through super long list of users online. 

 

 

What do You think about it? Problems I've mentioned are really becoming serious and everyone starts to notice that slowly and IMO something DEFINITELY should be done with this or things will get out of hand soon. Making entire forum depressed is not best way to provide fun, especially to younger and more sensitive users. 

 

Hmmm yeah I think that would be really helpful, but honestly I think that for a lot of people they probably just post on a status because that's the first place they think to go to, status.....

 

I do agree with you on this though.

[Simon 4,557]

I understand that the staff is about to address this issue, but I'm a bit bothered by this so I feel like I should state a different viewpoint before anything is set in stone.

 

I absolutely understand the desire to keep the forum as a generally happy place, but the idea that anybody would ever respond to a suicide threat with even the slightest hint of suggesting they did something wrong by posting it is literally putting someone's life in danger.

 

When someone does something like posts a status update about threatening to commit suicide, they are reaching out.  For many people this is their last subconscious attempt at trying to find someone that is supportive and willing to hear their problems before they make a fatal mistake.  By telling them that they posted it in the wrong section or that somehow they did something wrong by posting it, we are quite literally creating a risk that they will no longer reach out for support and are putting their lives in jeopardy.

 

You have to understand that we don't know that person's story or their situation when they first post.  For many people, it's a feeling that they can't do anything right that drives them to having suicidal thoughts... it's not hard to imagine that telling a person who is having feelings that they can't do anything right that they posted their suicide threat in the wrong section can be very easily misunderstood.

 

Now for normal topics about various school drama and whatnot, I completely agree they need to be separated and shot over to the life advice section, but for topics and status updates threatening suicide, I truly believe that the forum should do nothing but try and support those individuals.  A topic being in an inconvenient location for a few days until the OP receives some help and encouragement and the staff is sure that moving it won't be taken the wrong day is a very small price to pay for possibly saving a life.

 

If for whatever reason a suicide threat absolutely needed to be moved, I think it's important that the message they use to respond to the threat is one that's supportive and positive.  Instead of saying that they are moving it because it's in the wrong section, say that they are moving it to life advice so that more people will see it and be able to help and support the OP.

 

The last thing I'll mention is that whatever the site chooses to do, it should never actively discourage people from reaching out for help.  I get that we want to keep the site positive and happy, but for a lot of people, online communities like this are really the only place that we go to socialize, so if people feel that they can't reach out for help here or that posting your message about feeling depressed is somehow a nuisance on the forum, they're more inclined to just bottle up those feelings and not reach out for much needed support.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what the staff is planning, but I thought it was important to point out how detrimental it can be to treat suicide threats and messages about depression like a nuisance.  This forum is more than a discussion board about ponies, it's a giant community, and part of being a community is that we need to be supportive of each other even if it does come at a slight cost.  I really hope that whatever the staff decides, they really take the importance of these messages into consideration.

[Sir Hugsalot 9,348]

I understand that the staff is about to address this issue, but I'm a bit bothered by this so I feel like I should state a different viewpoint before anything is set in stone.

 

I absolutely understand the desire to keep the forum as a generally happy place, but the idea that anybody would ever respond to a suicide threat with even the slightest hint of suggesting they did something wrong by posting it is literally putting someone's life in danger.

 

When someone does something like posts a status update about threatening to commit suicide, they are reaching out.  For many people this is their last subconscious attempt at trying to find someone that is supportive and willing to hear their problems before they make a fatal mistake.  By telling them that they posted it in the wrong section or that somehow they did something wrong by posting it, we are quite literally creating a risk that they will no longer reach out for support and are putting their lives in jeopardy.

 

You have to understand that we don't know that person's story or their situation when they first post.  For many people, it's a feeling that they can't do anything right that drives them to having suicidal thoughts... it's not hard to imagine that telling a person who is having feelings that they can't do anything right that they posted their suicide threat in the wrong section can be very easily misunderstood.

 

Now for normal topics about various school drama and whatnot, I completely agree they need to be separated and shot over to the life advice section, but for topics and status updates threatening suicide, I truly believe that the forum should do nothing but try and support those individuals.  A topic being in an inconvenient location for a few days until the OP receives some help and encouragement and the staff is sure that moving it won't be taken the wrong day is a very small price to pay for possibly saving a life.

 

If for whatever reason a suicide threat absolutely needed to be moved, I think it's important that the message they use to respond to the threat is one that's supportive and positive.  Instead of saying that they are moving it because it's in the wrong section, say that they are moving it to life advice so that more people will see it and be able to help and support the OP.

 

The last thing I'll mention is that whatever the site chooses to do, it should never actively discourage people from reaching out for help.  I get that we want to keep the site positive and happy, but for a lot of people, online communities like this are really the only place that we go to socialize, so if people feel that they can't reach out for help here or that posting your message about feeling depressed is somehow a nuisance on the forum, they're more inclined to just bottle up those feelings and not reach out for much needed support.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what the staff is planning, but I thought it was important to point out how detrimental it can be to treat suicide threats and messages about depression like a nuisance.  This forum is more than a discussion board about ponies, it's a giant community, and part of being a community is that we need to be supportive of each other even if it does come at a slight cost.  I really hope that whatever the staff decides, they really take the importance of these messages into consideration.

I agree with You. Problem is more and more people are simply faking and I already mentioned in my first post that such "warning" should be written in more... positive way than some cold statement. I am willing to help anyone who will need help if I will see that person is looking for it, but destroying atmosphere of entire forum is not best way to seek help as it only brings down other people. 

[Simon 4,557]

 

 

I agree with You. Problem is more and more people are simply faking and I already mentioned in my first post that such "warning" should be written in more... positive way than some cold statement. I am willing to help anyone who will need help if I will see that person is looking for it, but destroying atmosphere of entire forum is not best way to seek help as it only brings down other people. 

The bad thing is, there's no way of knowing when someone is faking something like that.  And even if for whatever reason, we knew that a person was not depressed and was just trolling everybody with their suicide threat, it's still important to take it seriously because what's going to end up happening is someone who is genuinely contemplating suicide is going to run a search for suicide on the forum, see that that person was treated poorly when they posted a message, and then they're not going to reach out for support here because they're going to feel that their post isn't welcome.

 

As frustrating as it is to constantly see these types of things posted on a place you go to have fun, I think what it boils down to is remembering that the reason we're here is because we're all fans of a show about friendship, and part of friendship is helping people through bad times.  You can always stick to the areas of the forum where you won't see that type of thing if you're particularly not in the mood to deal with other people's problems one day, but I just don't think it's worth sacrificing the sense of community to create a false impression that everybody on here is happy.

[Eloquence 2,076]

I understand that the staff is about to address this issue, but I'm a bit bothered by this so I feel like I should state a different viewpoint before anything is set in stone.

 

I absolutely understand the desire to keep the forum as a generally happy place, but the idea that anybody would ever respond to a suicide threat with even the slightest hint of suggesting they did something wrong by posting it is literally putting someone's life in danger.

 

When someone does something like posts a status update about threatening to commit suicide, they are reaching out.  For many people this is their last subconscious attempt at trying to find someone that is supportive and willing to hear their problems before they make a fatal mistake.  By telling them that they posted it in the wrong section or that somehow they did something wrong by posting it, we are quite literally creating a risk that they will no longer reach out for support and are putting their lives in jeopardy.

 

You have to understand that we don't know that person's story or their situation when they first post.  For many people, it's a feeling that they can't do anything right that drives them to having suicidal thoughts... it's not hard to imagine that telling a person who is having feelings that they can't do anything right that they posted their suicide threat in the wrong section can be very easily misunderstood.

 

Now for normal topics about various school drama and whatnot, I completely agree they need to be separated and shot over to the life advice section, but for topics and status updates threatening suicide, I truly believe that the forum should do nothing but try and support those individuals.  A topic being in an inconvenient location for a few days until the OP receives some help and encouragement and the staff is sure that moving it won't be taken the wrong day is a very small price to pay for possibly saving a life.

 

If for whatever reason a suicide threat absolutely needed to be moved, I think it's important that the message they use to respond to the threat is one that's supportive and positive.  Instead of saying that they are moving it because it's in the wrong section, say that they are moving it to life advice so that more people will see it and be able to help and support the OP.

 

The last thing I'll mention is that whatever the site chooses to do, it should never actively discourage people from reaching out for help.  I get that we want to keep the site positive and happy, but for a lot of people, online communities like this are really the only place that we go to socialize, so if people feel that they can't reach out for help here or that posting your message about feeling depressed is somehow a nuisance on the forum, they're more inclined to just bottle up those feelings and not reach out for much needed support.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what the staff is planning, but I thought it was important to point out how detrimental it can be to treat suicide threats and messages about depression like a nuisance.  This forum is more than a discussion board about ponies, it's a giant community, and part of being a community is that we need to be supportive of each other even if it does come at a slight cost.  I really hope that whatever the staff decides, they really take the importance of these messages into consideration.

 

I agree with this entirely! This is a delicate situation, and must be handled with care. My previous suggestion still stands, but there will of course still be statuses and other messages that are unsettling. I don't know what the current policy for mods and admins is on dealing with suicide threats, but I would think that taking them seriously would be more effective in stamping out fake threats than not doing so. And they should be taken seriously, at the very least I would hope that the person is PMed, but really I would hope that the proper authorities are notified.

 

Given that the mods are already working on a solution, it's possible that everything I'm typing is moot, but it should be said just in case it hasn't been considered.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who's out of the loop when it comes to depressing statuses. I only see 2 or 3 people doing it, and I don't see any problem with it.

 

In any case, there's a whole subforum for people who need help, and there's a good point that having it all over the status updates section and what not can turn people off.

 

I saw someone mention a while back that on another forum they're on only allows that sort of stuff in the designated subforum, and it apparently works really well - so why not just keep it in Life Advice? That's the whole purpose.

 

I understand that this is a very delicate situation, but let me be blunt with you - how many people say that they're going to kill themselves in a status update, and then don't follow through with it? It happens all of the time. While I can understand that they're depressed, I honestly question the sincerity of some of these suicide threats, although I will say it should be something needs to be done regardless when someone posts a depressing status updates - that's why there's life advice.

 

I don't like seeing depressing things - I have enough shit to deal with on my own, and I know that sounds selfish, but I'm sure others feel the same way. Life isn't a cakewalk. I say keep it inside the life advice section - it's there for a reason.

 

Bombard me if you will, but this is only damaging the community and a lot of what I see comes off as just wanting attention, given I did this exact same thing on MySpace and Facebook when I was 13 and 14.

 

Yes, I threatened suicide insincerely a LOT when I was younger over the internet. Why? I didn't have any friends at school, none of the girls wanted to date me, and I had heart problems and no parents. Does that suck? Fuck yes, it does, but I just wanted attention because I really wasn't getting any from anyone. I'm sure the people posting these statuses have had to deal with some shit situations as well in their lives, but there's the boy who cried wolf, and as someone who's cried wolf numerous times in the past, attention plays a huge role in this. I've been there before, and I'm still battling depression.

 

Of course, a lot of this can be resolved by just reaching out to people. Bombard me with "Oh, you've got a billion unread messages in your inbox" as you will, I'm only human and my generosity also has to extend to myself at times, or else I'll just be overworked and miserable. If you see someone post a depressing status update, why not reach out to them in a PM and do something to actually help them past "Hey, they have a right to post these statuses if they want to?" That'd be helping them.

 

You gotta think about it, man. If people are allowed to post depressing status updates nonstop, no one is winning. They can go post a topic in the Life Advice section and get help and the site isn't being brought down with this stuff, but you know why people don't do that? Because it doesn't get as much attention over there, even if the advice is usually more helpful, and the whole site suffers because the enjoyable experience is being brought down by negativity for all to see.

Anyway, aside from affecting the site as a whole, the poster is being affected too. How? 

If you focus on depression, it only gets worse. You can't take your mind off of it, and the more you think about it, the sadder you feel - no matter what it is that's bothering you, if you can't get it off your mind somehow, it's going to grow worse with time. That's why when someone gives it that extra attention in a status update, it's only making it worse on themselves - they're focusing on it too much, and it never goes away. That's why allowing them to keep posting it is only hurting themselves as much as the site, maybe even more so than the rest of us.

 

So, everyone loses by allowing this to keep happening outside of Life Advice.

 

Now, of course, they can always be helped. Why not, instead of defending their rights to say what they want (which, doesn't really exist, if you look at the terms of service), instead reach out to them and befriend them? That'd make them feel less lonely and depressed if they know they have a friend, and I know that for a fact as someone who has been in these shoes before. If you really cared about what was in their best interest, you'd actually being PMing people trying to help them with their problems instead of defending them for saying what they please. I know that's what I do, and the people I've helped through PMs certainly don't post as many depressing status updates, if any at all. Hell, that's the whole reason I flipped my PM system on here back on - so I can help these people who need me. They don't need you to defend their right to speak their minds in status updates, they need you to try and be their friend. That's all that people posting that kind of stuff want - friends.

Life Advice subforum, PM system...all of the tools for personalized help from other members are already here, and I'm telling you, as someone who's done this exact same thing before, they don't need a damn lawyer, all they need is a friend or two.