*VWARP*And that's why Synergetic is a royal sack of shit ass balls.
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*sigh* I need to get this damned Hell Transporter repaired. I can't go on like this.
*checks time*
What? This piece of shit sent me to Friday at 2:00 AM?! You've got to be kidding me! I'm not reviewing an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic at 2:00 in the MORNING!!! Kill yourself!
*VWARP*
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*VWARP*-ell "Meadow" isn't complete shit. 'Nor
*VWARP* Sure, Joan Rivers. I'm not doing anything this Friday!
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SHIT I do reviews on Friday.
*checks date*
SHIT it's Saturday Sunday.
*checks episode*
SHIT it's "The Last Roundup"
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Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit.
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So this episode opens up with Appleshit practicing for some rodeo, with her good sis
*VWARP* -nd I think I might've shattered her ovaries in the process.
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Why does this Hell Transporter teleport me to the MLP Forums at the absolute worst times?
Ugh, sorry, since I've cut down on my review schedule, I've decided to take weekly trips back home in the intermission. I was just telling cousin Kim Jong-il of my zany adventures meeting Emma Stone in 2022, but I shan't repeat the climactic and erotic story because we have a much more interesting episode of My Little Pon
*VWARP* ...and that's the story of how I sodomized Adolf Hitler.
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Wait, what?
Aw, FUCK, I'm here again!
How do I reverse the polarity on this thing?! Send me back! Send me back!
*WARPS TO EQUESTRIA*
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*VVVVWARP*
GOD NO, THAT WAS TEN TIMES WORSE.
*sigh* Fine, I guess I'm back. If you're wondering what I did in my time off, I visited many places. Shortly after I had my April Fools sanity freeze, I went back home. Where I'm from, it's a furnace prac
MERRY APRIL FOOLS DICK EVERYONE
I AM MUCH EXISTED FOR THIS EPIDODE OF MAH LITTLE PONEH, FRIENDSHIT IS MAGIC!
THIS IS A SOUPER SPOILERS REVIEW, SO IF YOU HAVENT SEE HARTS MORNING EVE, AHVE A CUPPA MULTIGRAIN CEREAL FRAPPE!
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THIS EPISODE OPUNS OP WITH TWILIGHT TRYKING TO BY FOOD FROM THE PURPLE PONY STORE, ALLSO KNOWN AS "POPEYE'S". THATS WHEN PINKIE PIE SHOES UP AND SAYS "HEY, YOU BITCH! WE NEED
Previously on My Little Kony: Outdated References...
Your Messiah: "Goddammit. I thought I'd finally have the whole fucking place to myself."
Your Messiah (cont.): "My igloo DVR didn't record the premiere! SON OF A BITCH! THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GO TO.......D...Dailymotion..."
Dailymotion: "I've got a bird in the hoof for you!"
Twilight Sparkle: "Fuck the lessons."
Shining Armor: "Oh my God! Cadence! I haven't seen you in years!"
Cadence: "WHERE'S MAH FOCKIN CHAHLD SAPPORT?!
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Are we all still alive?
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Goddammit. I thought I'd finally have the whole fucking place to myself. Oh well. I guess I should work on the review and start fixing this mess. Jolted opinions abound I see, but looks like we're all pretty sound. None of the "RUINED FOREVER" screams I was seeing before. Maybe this premiere saved itself? Eh, let's crack into the first episode and rape Celestism once and for all.
This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen "The Crystalling",
So you know how the Crystalling prophecy talks about a chain of bad episodes that will summon the storm? Yeah, well, let's see, I already said how I thought "May the Best Pet Win!" and "Sweet and Elite" were okay episodes, and I explained my likeness for the popularly hated "The Mysterious Mare Do Well", so I thought everything was fine at this point. But then I realized "Secret of My Excess" is the final review before the storm and, well, we're seriously fucked. This episode is pretty bad. Like
Late for a review, you say?
Yeah? Well, fuck it. This is "Sweet and Elite". Spoilers ahead.
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So this episode opens up with Princess Celestia and Rarity entering a bedroom in Canterlot. Ooh, raunchy. I like where this is going. And it gets even saucier when Rarity, after being shown the room she'll be staying in on her Canterlot visit, starts getting on her knees and proc
Fuck this episode.
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No, not because I hate it. Fuck this episode because everyone else hates it. Many a day have I spent bitching to no end with other people on the quality of "The Mysterious Mare Do Well". Well, you know what I do when other people hate an episode that I don't hate? I don't care! Spoilers ahead!
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Okay, so, it's a little later than usual for the uploading of an entry compared to previous schedules, but I couldn't be assed to write a review until now have been spending the past couple of days reviewing the Celestianite bibles for more information about the Crystalling, as well as conducting my own research. There seems to be a great deal of people, Celestianite or otherwise, that believe in the Crystalling and think it's going to tear the fandom apart. And my proposal to stopping this even
Two days ago, I've made the metamorphosis. I have graduated from age 16 to age 17. And I have to say..........
..............I feel exactly the same. Still a pessimistic whiny bitch. GG, I r8 8/8, damn daniel, "The Cutie Pox".
This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen "The Cutie Pox", get a vaccine.
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My birthday gift was my Netflix password, which I found on
:okiedokielokie:
You know, someday, my birthday's not going to be the middle of the goddamned week, and I'm going to be old enough to appreciate that.
Anyways, "Sisterhooves Social". Spoilers ahead.
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So this episode opens up with Rarity in bed..........................great start...................as smoke fills her house. She tumbles downstai
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What is life?
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"Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor." -- Sholom Aleichem
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This quote does not help me, I still do not know who I am anymore. Life is a dream, game, comedy, and tragedy all at the same time, but I am not wise. I'm not a foo-well, actually, yes. But I'm neither rich 'nor poor. So how could I perceive life as all these things and yet...I am not categorized like everyone else in the world is. M
It's February 29th, and you know what that means...
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No, seriously, do you know what that means? 'Cause I don't.
Well, when you figure it out, get back to me. On to "Lesson Zero". Here's an interesting episode that exists. I remember this episode getting a lot of praise back in the day, but now I'm seeing a lot more negative criticism regarding it. And you guys know how much I love reading bitchy negative criticism that isn't my own. So one mission of mine
Previously on My Little Bony: Endlessly Flaccid...
This One Guy: "Never reviewed a season two episode before."
That Same One Guy About Two Minutes Later: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Season two, eh? Never reviewed a season two episode before.
Well, I guess there's a first time for everything. I remember my first time..............................................................
Alright, welcome to the second season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now, it's true, I've never reviewed a season two episode in any respect. I think I reviewed two episodes in season three and most of season four back in the day before my blog was a thing, each of those one-par
Welcome, one and all, to the season one wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!
Well, we're not quite to the actual finale ye-
-oh..wait, shit, we are.
Welcome to the finale!
Now, a couple of things are going to be different in this review and a couple of things need to be said.
Thing that needs to be said #1: Tumblr sucks.
Thing that needs to be said #2: You are not hallucinating, there is now a bar of widgets at the right of your screen. After years of tryi
Welcome, one and all, to the season one wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!
Well, we're not quite to the actual finale yet, but today we're reviewing the second-to-last episode for season one entitled "Party of One!" For many, this is a huge recovery from "Owl's Well That Ends Well", but seeing as I, again, didn't hate that episode, I'm not sure I'll feel the same way. HOWEVER, I do remember really liking this episode, so let's see what goes down!
This is a spoilers revi
The day of reckoning is here! Go on, now, my slave children. Spread the word to the whole internet about Twilight's immortality and the conspiracies of Celestia! The First Church of Cupcakes, the Celestianites, and Rainbow Dash will not be allowed to get away with these crimes against the people! Help me start the next revolution while I...
watch a cartoon.
Ooh. "Owl's Well That Ends Well." Fun!
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What's that?
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People hate this episode?
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Shit, there goes my "42" theory.
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Well, this is the backstory episode, so I assume I'll be able to expose my incredibly well-thought out findings to the world and make Twilight out for the evil immortal being she is. But first, I should say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to Tara Strong.
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Congratulations. You've likely lived half of your life at this point, which means you don't have a whole lot of time left to live. Cheers.
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Alright, so, "The Cutie Mark Chronicles." I'd normal
A bird in the hoof, eh?
I've got a bird in the hoof for you:
There. Great start. Let's go. Spoilers ahead.
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Alright, so, I've learned something recently. Essentially, these last few episodes of season one are way too forgettable. Like, I was struggling to remember what I thought of "Over a Barrel" and "Green Isn't Your Color." And I didn't like either of t
"PrymeStriker, you lazy unequivocal fuck! Why didn't you post a review yesterday like you were supposed to?!"
Because I tripped over a barrel.
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I'll let that sink in a bit.
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So, anyway, now that I have the time to pester myself, I've decided to take on a new episode of MLP with great vigor. One following the amazement of "Green Isn't Your Color" can't be too bad by comp
Holy shit. Even her sticker in "Fall Weather Friends" said 42!
Maybe I'm on to more than I thought?
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Hmmm...we'll see. For now, let's check the episode I have to do today.
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GREEN ISN'T MY COLOR?!
WELL, FUCK YOU, BITCH!
"Green Isn't Your Color" is another episode involving Rarity with a little help Fluttershy and yet another new celebrity. Why do all the Rarity episodes introduce new celebrities? I don't know. Fuck 'em. I've normally been
I HAVEN'T SLEPT ALL WEEK LONG.
Why, PrymeStriker?
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY TWILIGHT IS FUCKING IMMORTAL.
What are you talking about?
YOU CLEARLY HAVEN'T READ MY PREVIOUS REVIEW, WHERE TWILIGHT DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE TWICE.
Why are you talking to yourself?
BECAUSE I'VE KILLED ALL OF MY FRIENDS ALREADY.
And I think I've figured out the answer. If you'd just turn your attention to the chalkboard.
I have discovered that the answer to this en
