Initial Report; 4/5/2014

In this one time special event, we are temporarily returning to cover news of March Madness. Which is, for some reason, still going on in April.

We have reports that the fans are violent and that the moderators are doing all they can to calm the situation. ADHD meds seem to calm the Pinkie fans, and shiny objects have proven successful at distracting the Rarity fans. The rest of the groups are still ravaging everything in their path.

We interviewed several users, and here is what they had to say:

"GO DIE. AJ MASTER RACE!"

"What is March Madness?"

"WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP WHILE HOLDING A MICROPHONE?!"

In an event we did Nazi coming, some Pinkie fans attempted to win using the same method they did to win class president in Middle School, by comparing their opponents to history's worst villains. What the actual fuck?

No sane person survives this event unscathed. Apathy is recommended.

Remain indoors until it's over for your own safety. Do NOT let anybody with a Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, or Pinkie Pie avatar into your house. THIS IS FOR YOUR SAFETY.

Scientists are still hard at work trying to figure out why any sane person would care about a contest pitting fictional candy-colored horses against each other. The results so far are inconclusive. What we do know is that those afflicted with a condition scientifically named "Fanboyism" are extremely irrational and aggressive. Do not approach an afflicted individual.

UPDATE: 4/6/2014

The violence in the streets continues. Riot control has only been somewhat effective. The Status Update section is completely overrun by those afflicted with fanboyism and is to be avoided at all costs, entering this area risks being ranted at or attacked by ravenous fanboys.

The match is close and this has led to an all out war in the forums between the factions. Everybody not affected by this tournament has responded with confusion or disgust.

In response to the high amount of instances of too many fucks being given, Poniverse has rationed the amount of fucks users can give about these candy colored horses. However, it is expected that some will stockpile fucks for later use and could hold out for days.

The Admins could not be reached for comment, but it is assumed that everything that can be done is and that this crisis will be resolved soon.

The scientists have found that the overdramatic bullshit is contagious and as such has recommended putting the March Madness thread in a quarantine until the pathogen causing this wackadiddy tomfuckery can be isolated and destroyed. However, no such action has been taken yet. It is assumed that some kind of Pathogen latches onto the brain of those affected, which would reflect their limited reasoning abilities.

More on this story as it develops.