Entry posted by Fleur-De-Lis
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I sincerely hope you take the time to read through all this. I just felt the need to talk about it, to have some one listen, and hopefully. to make a true friend.
Well I will try to keep this respectably vague for the person, but at the same time. I cannot help but want to talk about it. Some one who was very near and dear to me. Some one whom I cherished as a friend so much so, I wished them well before logging off steam and heading out for the night. I would even go as far as to tell them "Goodnight and sweet dreams ______" We were friends for over 2 years.
What had happened
After about 4 to 5 days, They finally logged onto Wildstar to add me as friends. Hung around for at least an hour, mostly just being away from keyboard, I did my own thing while they did their own thing (it was one person). Then suddenly in Zone chat, I saw what i felt was bad advice, about selling ore straight to vendors since it would amount to more money than what players were paying for in the commodity exchange, especially when adding the broker exchange. I did not pay attention to who said it, but I had simply said that it was not true, and that the advice should be taken with a grain of salt. I then continued to state how platinum ore was going for 20 silver each about 4 or 5 days ago though was now down to 12 silver each, I did some math and discovered it would have otherwise been 2 silver each from the vendor. This was only but a T3 resource (out of 5). The first two which can be mined/gathered from almost anyone who just started the game, so it makes sense those would be going for dirt cheap. But this blog post isn't about explaining circumstances.
I will admit that how it was likely phrased a bit more rude than how I recited it in this blog post. I honestly cannot recall how it was structured when I said it in game, though I am certain it was not that bad, but the reaction was excessively bad. I was removed from friends. both from Wildstar and even steam (I checked after exiting the game half an hour later.) I am deeply saddened by this. As I imagine anyone would be if it happened with some one they held quite dear.
I spoke with a mutual friend (with no response) and told that person to pass along a message for me which was simply "I cared for _____ deeply as a friend, we were friends for years. I am sorry i upset you, I wished you well every night and even said goodnight. But I guess you did not think of me as highly." A message I sincerely hope was passed on. For those who may wonder, wishing a person well, to me, was telling them to have a great day, or a good night, in some cases even to have a wonderful day or a fabulous day, and of course meaning it rather than being empty words.
Epilogue
All in all, I will not try to re-add my friend ... to respect their decision, but at the same time, I wonder if I mattered to them at all for such friendship to have been so nonchalantly tossed aside.I find myself saddened especially by the fact it ended because of such a minor scuffle. Though I doubt the thought has crossed their mind, or maybe in some faint way it had, I simply find myself thinking ... why would you do this to me?
In some way, I hope they forgive my mistake, and will add me again, hopefully soon before I am forgotten. I never wanted to upset or offend anyone, but that is what happened. Like some sort of cruel irony that what you least wanted to happen, had happened.
I do not know what I want from this blog post, though perhaps the closest thing I can find to an answer, is a friend who I can always talk with, maybe about life stuff once in a while, play some games together occasionally, I am even fine with rarely since I understand life doesn't always allow the time to play non-casual games. As I think about it, maybe I would even like re-assurances that its not my fault, that I did not do something wrong. I guess regret is funny that way, thinking "If only I paid more attention" or maybe something more along the lines of, if only I knew .... though I do not blame the other person, I cherished them too much for that. I do not know what to think, not after all this sadness.
I now head to bed, feeling weak and hungry, and saddened over the loss of a person whom I considered a good friend ... I may remedy hunger before going to bed ...
Goodnight everypony, and I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this tale of woe.
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