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In Memory Of

NavelColt

Entry posted by NavelColt

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blog-0382181001364955479.jpgIn 1998, Vermont had a nasty ice storm that slammed much of the state. I was five, and had just recently dealt through my parents' rather bumpy divorce. My mom had been planning to get a cat for a while; she grew up with them in her own house, and now, living alone with me, she wanted to get her own. By a run of chance, we happened to stumble upon a lady who was giving her young cat away, since she was moving away due to complications regarding the ice storm, to a place that didn't allow cats. By luck, we became the new happy owners of Millie.

 

At that point, Millie was already four or five in human years, as she was born in 1994. Today, that makes her nearly nineteen years old, nearly as old as me, as I was born in 1993. Millie has been a consistent part of my entire life, from rigorous and often confusing childhood, through middle and high school. It became increasingly clear through the later years of 2008 through 2011 that Millie's health, along with her age, was deteriorating. I can happily say she was fine with the help of some meds, and for a long time, you wouldn't know she was an old woman, with the way she hunted socks to try and show us humans how to properly catch food and then meow for you to come and fetch it, or how she would leap several feet up onto the kitchen counter and demand fuss from you.

 

Like many cats contract in later years, Millie has had failing kidneys for a while now. Unfortunately, it has come to the point where her weak kidneys cannot keep up with her bodies' demand for water. Clumps of fur, weak limping, dry heaving, the list goes on. While she was still relatively healthy in eating and drinking, it had gotten to a point where my mom was almost afraid to bring her in, for she had a dreadful feeling she knew what the doctor was going to say. Last night, she came into my room and had a talk with me about how she was almost certain it was time to say good-bye, and that she'd make a call the next day, and we'd decide on what to do regarding the doctor's diagnosis.

 

The day after, this afternoon, I sat with a life long friend and watched them die peacefully, as I, my mother and my sister couldn't help but cry uncontrollably, in putting her to sleep.

 

Millie was a beautiful white and greyish Siamese/short hair. She had the most angelic chirping sound a cat could possess to let you know she loved you when you fussed her and gave her your undivided attention. I haven't stopped periodically crying and standing besides myself at the cold reality that after fifteen years of having her chirping at me from her purple bean bag, she's actually gone. To be honest, it felt so very wrong and alien to leave her there at the vets', even though I knew she had already passed away.

 

We're going to have her cremated, and place her ashes above the TV entertainment center, though I'd love to find a special shelf to place where her beanbag used to always be.

 

The 'grieving over a loved one' is a new concept to me, for better or worse. This isn't some big dramatic 'I'm taking time off' sort of deal, as I can't really shift a routine that easily. It will mean that I'm not all too sure how good my mood is going to be for a few days, to a week, maybe more. I've dreaded, and even teared up in the past over this day, and now that its' finally here, I've found I have no more energy to cry here at 10 PM, having started since 4 PM.

 

I only hope she's in a better place.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

millie_by_charkanine-d36rilf.jpg

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Pinkazoid

Aw, I'm sorry :c

 

Must of been worse considering you've had her for so long. My dog died not even a year ago, I cried for hours and I only had her for two years or so, must of been worse for you. I hope she's in a better place :c 

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Scootalove

I'm really sorry for your loss.

 

Losing a pet is like losing a best friend. You just cry when they are gone, and you will always have memories of them. I know, she is in pet heaven now.

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duidamasterXD

Oh my gosh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If you need somebody to talk to, feel free to PM/Skype me. I'm so sorry.

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Twiliscael

You know I'm no good with words, but I feel you.

Losing a pet, especially one that you truly care about is really an awful experience.

 

As much as I hate cliches, don't be cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

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Zygen

I'm sorry to hear that dude, it must be tough. But I'm sure she had a wonderful life she didn't regret in your company, she lived a long and happy life. :).

 

I wish I could relate better, but I really can't, I mean non of my long time pets have really died. I mean my mom had a cat who lived to be like 18 she had for a long while, but I wasn't terribly attached to it. My dog I use to have didn't die we just had to give him away which although sad didn't leave me crying for whatever reason.

 

I wish I could feel for you better, but unfortunately I can't. I hope you feel better. I don't really know much else to say. You did a good job I'm sure of doing your best to prolong her life, so I'm sure you are a great owner.

 

I feel like I'm not really helping, but I do want you to know that I'm sorry to hear about her death. :(

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Yellow Diamond

When my cat, Titus, passed away last month, my dad and I took the time to recall fond memories of him, going so far as to produce an impromptu eulogy. Having read your tale about Millie, and seeing how she so profoundly impacted and defined your life, CD, I feel compelled to share the words we used for Titus, taken from St. Paul's Letter to the Romans:

 

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

 

I think that here Paul touches on the heart of our connection with the whole of creation. Our pets reflect our love, our compassion, our disappointments, and our hopes with profound simplicity. It is through them that we can begin to move beyond ourselves; we come to see love and trust as gifts to be cultivated.

 

So, in short, I believe Millie is in a better place, but she will also continue to occupy a place in your heart. My experience is that the mourning will gradually shift into joy as you remember Millie with fondness. Just as I vividly recall Titus parked at the top of the stairs, you will always have Millie seated comfortably on her purple bean bag.

 

If God is willing, they will be waiting to see us again when the time comes.

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Betez

Pets can be as close to someone as a human. Though I can't say I know your pain (I've never lost someone really close to me before, but I might soon. :( ) I can say I'm sorry for your loss. No matter what, though, she is in a better place.

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Zacharias

I'm really sorry about her, hope you'll feel better soon, just remember the fun things she did in her life and whenever she cheered your family up in times of sorrow.

 

I somewhat know how this feels like, although I've never been close to a pet before. I lost two of my cat friends as a kid, I always played with them when we were visiting my grandparents, or my great-grandma (who also passed away last year). Oscar, the cat my grandparents had was about 19 too when he passed away naturally I believe. Rosalie, my great-grandma's cat was really close to me. I used to play with her all the time, and I always built obstacle courses for her with some kind of reward at the and. It was so great watching her go through everything so passionately. Unfortunately one day, she got run over by a car as I was told. I cried so much when I heard about it. She was about 10 I think, it was a long time ago. Unfortunately my Uncle didn't take care of the place too well because he was getting old too, so the exact place her grave is I can't possibly tell cause raspberry bushes have grown all over the place over the years... ;(

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Shanks

I had to have two of my pets put down both of them dogs the first one was 17 years old had gone blind and slowly became so weak he could barely stand up. The second one was a poodle who had severe lung problems, she would often stay up all night hacking and coughing and nothing I did made it any better. I understand why you wouldn't be in the best of moods it has been one year as of last month since my father died and there has been some days where I have been a bit emotional.

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SCS

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you were able to spend so many years with her. I believe that she is in a better place now. :)

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