CoD Review
(Somebody Requested that I review this game, I would not have normally done so)
Today I'm going to be reviewing what is perhaps my favorite video game of all time (To use as an example of why people today will buy anything regardless of quality), Call of Duty. This is perhaps one of the worst games of all time. It's not a bad game in itself, what really makes it a bad game is how it's rereleased several times a year with minimum changes and people keep buying it.
I'm going to go out and tell you that I dislike Call of Duty before you read any further, so if you're a major hardcore fan of it reading further may put you into fits or spasms that only otherwise happen when you're out of Ritalin, I'd recommend not reading it if you have a short temper and really like the game.
If Call of Duty was released, say, once every three years it would probably actually be a very good game, but let's take a look at why it's not, shall we?
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Graphics
The graphics are at the same time, decent and horrible. They're decent in that they're up to par with what we'd probably expect, however, my problem with the graphics lies in how they barely change from year to year, in fact, the graphical difference is only noticeable if you use incredibly far away titles, it was hard to notice the difference until I started comparing Call of Duty 1 to World At War. That's how slight their graphical changes are.
Even taking into consideration just one of the game's graphics, they're really nothing special. The graphics didn't really innovate anything and all of the newest titles look exactly the same.
5/10
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Gameplay
The gameplay, don't even get me started. The multiplayer gameplay is as frustrating as trying to pack a rabbid racoon into a mini fridge with your bare hands while Hulk Hogan is giving you the Heimlich maneuver. The gameplay has perks, perks seem specifically designed to punish new players by giving old time players cheap tricks. Maybe the perks are the only good thing since they discourage you from buying this horribly frustrating game. If you don't buy it right when it comes out when nobody has those ultra-overpowered perks yet, don't bother, it's not worth it.
This game frustrated me, it's impossible to enjoy. All my losses were soul-crushing, and when I did win it didn't even feel that satisfying. I'm not highly into competitive games as a whole so that may be a bit of bias.
A huge problem the gameplay presents is it's abundance of glitches. Call of Duty has always been a breeding ground for gamebreaking bugs that annoy the hell out of all involved. Even when the game isn't glitching, the Single player is a frustrating and unsatisfying experience with all but a few exceptions (World At War and Modern Warfare 2 had decent singleplayer modes), when it comes to the rest of the series, I wouldn't even bother.
If I had to say something nice about the gameplay it's that it has it's memorable moments, but once more, lots of the game is the exact opposite of memorable.
Zombies are the only good thing about this game's gameplay, and even that could have been released as it's own separate game. When a gimmick is the best part of your game something is terribly wrong. However, in part, the zombies at least partially makes up for the lack of an enjoyable experience in most of the series.
6.5/10
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Story
The main overlying story is based on real life. I could spend all day critiquing how shitty real life is, so I'm just going to skip this part of the review for the most part. I'll say that as far as character development goes it does okay, I didn't particularly feel attached to any of the characters but they did at least have a touch of personality.
8/10
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Controls
Did not find any real problems with these, the game does what it says it does, that's enough for me. They're responsive, well-mapped out on the console, and well, I can't really review the PC controls since you can configure them.
10/10
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Soundtrack
Pretty decent, actually. It fits with the over all theme of the games, and I really didn't have any problem with it. it was varied enough to keep me entertained. the easter egg songs on the zombie maps are a nice touch.
8.5/10
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Realism
I wouldn't normally cover this but I have to because everybody says it's why the game is so good.
No, just no. This game is less realistic than anything I've ever played. Let me explain in detail why.
Besides the real guns and military maneuvers, this game is the most unrealistic portrayal of war I've ever encountered. The characters commit handfuls of war crimes every mission and barring that, if the game really did reflect real war most of the characters would have objectives like guarding the base while nothing happens or reading letters from their family and maybe getting into combat and killing a few people, not gigantic military assaults. Those are quite uncommon in war, that's kind of why when a huge military assault happens it's really big news.
The whole inner workings of the games are unrealistic, but that's actually good in terms other than realism because games are supposed to be played. It's no fun if it's realistic, but people still continue to say that this game has realism.
The guns' clips are too large, at least on the automatics. The full clip of the AK-47, for example, lasts maybe three seconds before needing to reload. I can of course see why they wouldn't make this realistic.
I'm not even going to address the realism of the zombie or competitive modes, that would be a waste of time.
1/10
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Summary
Sorry if the review came off sounding too negative. It's not that I hate Call of Duty, wait, no, that's exactly what it is. I hate Call of Duty because it's an example of how the video game market is decaying. The game itself is not too bad, but it's only decent. It's nothing special. Which is to say it does not deserve to be half as successful as it is because it's not even the best war game there is (That honor goes to Medal of Honor, specifically Rising Sun), yet people throw their money at the game every year like it's some kind of currency black hole.
I'd rather spend my time doing things that aren't playing Call of Duty, that's all I've gotta say. It takes the bad elements of realism and combines them with the bad elements of nonrealism. That's not exactly a formula for a fun game.
It's a game people by and love, never-the-less, and I still don't understand why. If you feel like telling me why you like or don't like the game in the comment go ahead.
It's not a horrible game but it's not a good game either.
This isn't to say you won't enjoy it, this game might make you happier than Men Without Hats dancing if they want to and leaving your friends behind, playing it is really the only way for you to find out. This review is just my opinion.
Overall Score: 5.5/10
Edit: Somebody said I didn't give CoD enough credit. They're right.
Overall Score: -15/10
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