Widdershins

 Well, fair enough to say, Amys, think S.G.B meant to call you the Colonel.  ...and maybe also dead.

  Hoh, Duality! You poor, sweet, ignorant fool! (I'm hot n' I'm grumpy! DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU IN A SWEATY HEADLOCK!!) Of course Dapplewhack's parents aren't dead!

  Allow me to rationalize away all your stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid *cough* your theories, I mean.

  First off, while I think we've probably had an episode about trusting Granny Smith, I don't think we can trust anything she says on anything anymore than we can count on Discord's word. First & foremost, I think Granny is supposed to be chiefly a gag character we're supposed to point at and go "Hah, she old as DIRT!"

   Secondly... Smith (Wait... is her first name actually Granny?) is actually older than the town itself! A point is made of generations, she did business with Filthy Rich's father/grandfather, yet he isn't seen around. Logically speaking, if ponies just up n' didn't die this world would be drenched in ponies. Longer the lifespan, the bigger the populace gets to where it gets progressively harder to not walk into each other. Now, one could argue that her outaging the very buildings themselves doesn't mean much, a town can spring up in maybe only two decades. But, Ponyville has its culture, its traditions so heavily set & han-... hoofed down that they go out of their way to change the seasons by hoof even when there's magic around to act as a suitable replacement, if even it can be argued they even need to do that at all. What, the hibernating critters just going to sleep forever if they don't got a pony to wake them up? A bird can't bloody well build its own bloody nest? Help nature too much and you wind up killing it. My point is, there's been more than enough time for the villagers to get set in their ways, have children who grow up and start their own business which have also prospered since then.

   I theorize that Ponies be like trees. Functionally immortal. They'll keep living unless something gets in the way, which tends to in life. Like, its not unusual for a pony to top 100 easily, beings like Celestia don't age physically so they don't succumb to the weakness of old age that tends to catch your regular pony. Likely because of magic's aid. But still, if you baked Cel-... *cough* If you baked Luna into a mincemeat pie, I doubt she'd spring right back from that.

 Second, "Didn't know how to bring it up" is a cheap cop-out writers trick to basically state that they simply burned their bridges and simply never thought about what to do about AJ's parents. They weren't part of the stories they had planned, so they didn't bother. Simple as that. It's the same deal with Scootaloo's parents and Red's father. They ain't there, because they ain't important. Writers are only human after all, they're allowed mistakes. This is a fandom after all where one gray mare had her lines a little futzed up, the makers at hand thought that it wasn't that big of a deal & worth going back to fix and... look where that turned up. Would you still love Ditzy-Doo if that crux of a moment hadn't come up?

   Third, reminiscence & pride do not denote death. What, you can't miss or be proud of somepony your just not physically around or capable of seeing? One would think in a universe where Granny can pretty much just straight up refuse to die on sheer gumption, any end that the parents would have met would have been huge news.

   Fourthly, who doesn't bring up the good things about people who have passed? If you leave anything out, it's incredibly obvious that in its stead, more sorrow will grow. Not telling their children anything will only leave them to wonder into bad ends and leave them more depressed than anything you could have done. Omission is still a lie, and that's borderline neglect!

   No, I implore you to consider further, what can remove characters that succinctly & without question?

   Intention, is what...

  *pats a piece of paper with the back of his hand*

 Consider what little we have to go on. Assume, what we can of the evidence thus provided. We have one individual who serves as the only conduit for these other two characters. Only one who holds their knowledge, and yet, up until now, she has willingly held back anything. Reluctant. Why, we must ask ourselves? And so, we come to only one conclusion!

 *loudly thumps the defendant's desk with both hands*

  BOTH OF APPLEJACKS PARENTS ARE PEGASAI!

  Oops... wait... gimmie a second...

    GRANNY SMITH IS OSTRACIZING THEIR PARENTS!

  Think about it. The Apple family is an almost violently traditional family. Apples are in their literal names! What would happen if some of their members suddenly decided that farming wasn't what they wanted anymore, or that Granny felt that the one they married had somehow put the thought in their head that there was more to life than apples? It would be a betrayal, shame to everything these ponies stand for. Heck, against the lifelong brands that lay upon their butts!

   Granny don't talk about them because they had the gall to leave the farm. Apples don't leave the farm, they don't think outside the box. We've seen how willfully ignorant AJ can be about doing things different, and that's because Granny raised her that way. Big Mac doesn't speak up because he learned the bad way that when he gets mouthy, he gets wheeled into an operating room's cutting floor! All AJ seems to talk about is how things will reflect on her farm and help the family.... because leaving the farm is a betrayal of the highest order. She left it once, and her family treated it like she was dying. They never even thought that she might change her mind.

   I like to think both of AJ's parents became something like the Wonderbolts, performers,something showy, something completely opposite of farm labor. Also, that first headcannon is no doubt shot, but it is entirely possible (and hilarious) to think that two pegasai got together to make nothing but earth ponies. Which would also kinda prod them into thinking they don't really belong on the farm.

 Nyeeeaaaa And aaalso... The term "Inception" refers to the implanting of ideas into another, not "putting one thing of the same inside another."

Perfect Pear kinda wrecks that headcanon too.

One parent willingly abandoned their family to stay with the Apple family and their farm. Not really likely that they both up-and-left straight after, or that Granny would question their loyalty to the Apple family to such an excommunicating extent if they had done so.

Quote

The term "Inception" refers to the implanting of ideas into another, not "putting one thing of the same inside another."

I know, but internet meme means different thing. So I internet memed to mean different thing.

This is all way over my head. May i still stand here?