Props Valroa

My real interest is wondering about other people's lives. I know what my life experiences have made me into, down to the wire even if I can't describe it. I really wonder how other people's shape their outlook, ideologies, etc and how THEY imagine other people's lives to be. Take that a step further and I wonder how other people's experiences shape their thoughts and how those thoughts differ between different groups of people.

My life, is all my experiences contained within my skull. It's something that can only be expressed in words as I have no other way of expressing it really. I wish that I could keep down my memories into a massive file folder or something all organized between certain areas and time periods within my life. I have dreams that would blow the world away, but I have no way of expressing it other than through words. I've become so articulated over my wording in the past year or so, that will only grow as I understand my own thoughts more and more.

I always get vibes about people, that forms a 'character' of what I imagine that person to be. The more I know someone, the more I am able to predict their actions and their responses to certain ideas and concepts. Seeing random people in the halls at school, girls I like, I always wonder about what they would think of my ideas, outlook, ideology, and what is different, what is similar, etc? How did their experiences shape them, and how did mine shape mine, and how does that interact with each other?

Conscious beings really are a blessing, we can think about this stuff until eternity's end but we'll never fully understand. Yet theres a part of me that does in a weird way. Its hard to express into words but I'd like you all to imagine a ball rolling and hitting pins, like bowling. Those pins were GOING to hit the certain way because of the way the ball was thrown, once the ball is thrown, the destiny of how they all fall is written. But the way you throw it isn't set in stone, once it's path is, it is set is stone unless something else happens.

Experiences, emotions, ideologies, subconscious thoughts blend together to remove free will till the point it is all on autopilot drawing blanks from what you have already drawn that weren't blank. This is all fascinating to me.