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Salacious B. Crumb

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  1. Salacious B. Crumb
    So, I was just reading "The Pixar Theory," and it got me thinking. What other franchises exist in the same universe? Naturally, my thoughts turned to My Little Pony. So, here's the theory. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GBVxRxDIWew It all begins with Transformers. When the eponymous robots crash on Earth, it attracts the attention of the alien race known as the Cobra-La. The Cobra-La want to conquer Earth, because, according to the Transformers Wiki: "Whenever something (or someone) leaves, escapes, or is otherwise ejected from Cybertron, there's a disproportionate chance it will eventually wind up on Earth." So, obviously the Cobra-La want Cybertron technology. But how, you may ask, does this tie in with LPS and MLP. Well, I don't watch LPS, but I have seen bits and pieces. Apparently it stars technicolor, sentient animals alongside humans. Humans who are in possession of advanced robotic tech. I watched a bit of an LPS episode with my little sister, and apparently some chicks have a robot guard for their pet store. So, back to the theory. I theorize that the security robot was created with salvaged Cybertron technology. When the Transformers came to Earth, they emit a special radiation that is harmless to humans, but that mutates animals, making them colorful and sentient. But, years later, these animals have risen up and overthrown the humans, expelled the Transformers and Cobra-La. A formed a new society, called Equestria. The first three generations of My Little Pony take place at roughly the same time. G1 and 2 take place somewhere in Europe, and the human children in G1 were from one of the last human colonies. G3 and My Little Pony Tales take place in abandoned human cities, probably in New Jersey. G4, however, takes place thousands of years after G3. Most animals have devolved back to their original states. Human architecture is completely destroyed, but bits and pieces of their technology still lingers. Mutated ponies are the dominant race. A swarm of alien nanites (I'll call them robochlorian) have made Earth their home, allowing the ponies to manipulate them in return for being able to feed on their planet's minerals. Ponies that can manipulate these nanites have powers such as telekinesis, teleportation, among other things. Mutant wasps roam the wastelands, their wings, limbs and hair-like web secretions slowly decaying due to constant radiation exposure. They feed upon chemicals and pheromones that the mutant ponies emit. Buffalo, zebras, donkeys, cows, sheep, mutant eagles and mutant human-cow hybrids that call themselves minotaurs all possess sentience. But hey, it's just a theory. A show theory!
  2. Salacious B. Crumb
    As Inky continued slithering along with DeadEye, he felt a small tremor below him. "Did you hear that?" he asked DeadEye. But it was to late. suddenly a black creature tunneled up from under the ground, grabbed Inky, and dragged him back to the pit from whence it came. When Inky awoke, he was in a chamber, strapped to a table. The chamber itself was long and the ceiling was high. It was dark, and the walls oozed green liquid. He was surrounded by strange, green, translucent pods. "Inky Brick..." a soft yet commanding voice called. He looked up and saw Changelings. Hundreds of Changelings, buzzing around the chamber. Drones, nurses, and even several Behemoths could be seen, and Inky had no doubt he was inside one of the dreaded Changeling hives. He looked for the voice that had called for him. There she was. A Queen, probably a descendant of Chrysalis, looked upon him. "What do you want with me?" he asked her, secretly hoping not to get an answer. "Ah, yes, welcome to our hive. I am Queen Potendux, Bane of Celestia, and sole ruler of the Changeling Empire," she circled around him, like a shark about to strike it's helpless prey. "and you, are my pawn." "What do you mean?" "What I mean is that you are the first step in my master plan to finally conquer the galaxy. Allow me to explain. In traditional warfare, when the enemy loses a troop, that troop is gone, forever. However, if my new weapon succeeds, we can subtract from the enemy," she paused, "and add to our own." "Brainwashing?" "No, nothing that primitive. Joining is what we call it. Equestria and it's citizens shall join our hive, and the galaxy will be ours."
  3. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky heard the magic fire, and wrapped his tail around himself instinctively. "What's going on out there?! Changelings or rebels?" he asked Dead Eye. "Or pirates? Or maybe even" he gulped, "s-s-slavers. Oh dear, it'd better not be slavers! I've heard rumors of slavers who come from beyond the galactic frontier, in wild space. The hail not from Equestria, nor Aecoria, nor Zebrayik or even from Changeling space." That sounds quite definitely intriguing.
  4. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky quickly complied. "Hey, where the heck are we going? You'd better not push me out an airlock, or something like that!" Inky slithered along as best as he could, since his segway had been quite damaged on the trip to the ship. He hoped that there weren't Changelings out there.
  5. Salacious B. Crumb
    I think it's just that me and so many other bronies have seen so many alicorn Mary Sue's that we associate alicorns with them, but less so after Cadance. Still, Twilight already was kind of a Mary Sue with her magic talent, but her social awkwardness balanced her out. I'm afraid that since Celestio said Twilight had 'learned so much about friendship' that her social awkwardness would dissipate. I mean, come on! She's and alicorn, a master of magic, a good friend, and a national hero of Equestria. Those aren't traits of a Mary Sue at all! PS: Also, I don't think Twilight alone deserved to become an alicorn, since pretty much everything except the finale was a group effort. PSS: It also reinforces the obvious caste system in the show. Unicorns Characters: Rarity, designer of extravagant gem-studded clothes, and Twilight, a master of magic AND a princess. Pegasus Characters: Rainbow Dash, a great athlete and natural warrior, and Fluttershy, a caretaker of animals. Earth Pony Characters: Applejack, a farmer, and Pinkie Pie, a baker. Also, Canterlot is almost exclusively inhabited by unicorns, except for a guard force composed entirely of Pegasi, except for their commander, who of course is a unicorn. Just needed to get that out of my system. (Good grief, this post has become just a criticism of MLP)
  6. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky made a noise that sounded like a mixture between a whistle and a chuckle. "You call yourself a follower of Celestio, one who favors Equestria over any other allegiance, yet you use the tools and tactics of a slaver and a pirate. It's not hard to tell. You're no true-blue Equestrian Law-Enforcement droid, and you and I both know it. But, as I can clearly see, the cards have not been played in my favor. So, yes, it is simple enough."
  7. Salacious B. Crumb
    A nice episode, but the whole thing about Twilight becoming an alicorn/princess, IMHO, SUCKED FRIGGIN BALLS! One does not simply take a character and make him/her a goddess. It ruins EVERYTHING!!! Now my WIP fanfic is ruined! Rant over. PS: *Darth Vader is watching MLP in his meditation chamber* Vader: Finally, the season 3 finale! *watches episode* *exits chamber* *goes to the MLP studio thingy* *strangles episode writer* Vader: Now do you see what happens when you ruin Darth Vader's favorite show! You can't just have the student of an empress become ruler... *later, on Bespin* Vader: Join me Luke, and we can overthrow the Emperor! Sorry if it were long, I'm into Star Wars right now, and I wanted to illustrate my rage, hatred and anger.
  8. Salacious B. Crumb
    "Sorry. I completely understand your favoring of the CoE. Now, excuse me if I ask, but are you malfunctioning? If you are, would you mind if I had a look at the problem? I've worked on some 'bots before, but they were mostly just construction drones with very basic programming. Of course, if you don't trust me, I can understand that." Inky sat up, and waited for a response. (BTW, I've translated your signature into Spanish. Me gusta cafe tazas.)
  9. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky raised an eyebrow at the strange pony. "Oh I think I understand very well. I am an innocent, albeit unlucky, Zebrayik citizen, whose ship was taken for no good reason, and, in an effort to recover it and the rest of my property, tried to blackmail a few of Celestio's minions, who were probably scheming to wipe out all other governments, to clear room for their so-called 'superior' race!" The sea pony was breathing hard, his eyes filled with the rage that comes with extreme frustration and humiliation.
  10. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky stared at the robot's unemotional face. "So, robot, if we're going to be roommates, we might as well get to know each other. I'm Inky Brick, Zebrayik colony architect. And you are?" Inky waited for an answer, and he speculated about the robot. He was probably some form of assassin droid.
  11. Salacious B. Crumb
    As he was dragged along, he decided, once and for all, to end the string of fish jokes. "I am a cetacean, not a fish and most definitely not a mollusk. As he was dragged along, he couldn't help but think. Where would I be now had I just ignored these two? Still on this horribly dry rock. What if I didn't have the propaganda? You'd probably be offworld by now.
  12. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky stared blankly at the stallion for a few seconds, than responded. "Oh, I bought it at a pawn shop in Las Pegasus. Apparently they aren't as tight about Rebels there. I was gonna bring it with me back into Zebrayik territory, maybe hang it up in my apartment. But then I had to make an emergency stop here."
  13. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky was confronted by his decision. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." he thought. He put his fins up in a submissive gesture "Alright fellas, it appears I've gotten a bit ahead of myself he he he..." His mock smile disappeared, and was replaced by a look of concern and fear. "Ah dang. I'm sorry, It's just that, well, my ship was stolen by some stupid Equestrian guards just because I had an itty-bitty piece of Rebel propaganda in it's cargo. Then I heard you guys and, well, he he." He hung his head in shame. "I was desperate. So go ahead. If you ponies really are as zealous, xenophobic and bloodthirsty as the ones I saw cheering for that, Celestio, than I suppose I'm dead anyway. Just, please, make it quick. He put his fins out, and dropped his boxes, the keepsakes shattering and the sapphires spilling.
  14. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky thought hard. He had not retrieved any information of value, at least not to the CoE. Then it occurred to him. "The Equestrian government has no use for this information. But of course, the Empire, on the other fin, would find it very useful. Of course, after I give it to them, I'd be Changeling food in no time." So he decided to give them an ultimatum. He emerged from his hiding place. "Listen up, land-dwellers. I heard everything, and unless you two let me on that ship and set a straight course for Rusager, I hand the information over to the changelings. Deal?" The sea pony was probably dead, as these were dangerous beings. But there was no going back.
  15. Salacious B. Crumb
    As Inky waited for somepony to respond to his message, he noticed the same strange colt he had spotted in the cantina. He looked concerned, and was conversing with a robot. "A roh-bit?" he thought aloud. He hid behind a nearby ship, hoping to pick up any sort of information that could be of any value to the CoE. If nobody would respond to his distress signal, maybe he could trade what intel he could retrieve for his ship. The Coalition weren't as fair to non-ponies as they used to be, but they would go to any length if it gave themselves an advantage against the changelings. Mr. Brick, of all stallions, should know that.
  16. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky moved throughout the ship parking lot, worried out of his mind. His ship had been unrightfully taken by the CoE, and all he had were a few sapphires, some keepsakes, and a medkit. If only he could find somepony with a ship. So, in an act of, in Inky Brick's eyes, extremely low desperation, he sent a message (more like a pop-up ad) to all nearby ship's computers. It read, "Help! I've lost my ship and I need to get off this horribly dry rock! I'm willing to accept passage on any sort of ship. Unfortunately, I'll only be able to pay in a few sapphires, but I could work off the payment, if your ship is in need of hands (or in my case fins)." He sighed, then pressed the "Send" button.
  17. Salacious B. Crumb
    The chaos came so suddenly that it took the sea pony off guard. The flare, the panic, the mass of guards, all seemed slightly suspicious to Inky. He had eventually made his way to The Mantis by now, and he glanced over and saw an old Rebel propaganda poster he had bought at a pawn shop in Las Pegasus. It showed an earth pony, a pegasus, a unicorn and a buffalo, all with blank expressions and white, empty eyes. They had a connected dream bubble, in which was Luna, or more specifically, Nightmare Moon. It had the caption "No mind is safe from Luna's tyranny!" "Oh carp!" Inky yelled a bit to loudly. He realized a bit to late that Las Pegasus is much more accepting of rebels than Canterlot. A guard turned around, and Inky quickly grabbed a box of valuables/necessities, and made himself look inconspicuous. "Look, captain, I think that ship has some rebel propaganda onboard!" The sea pony sadly got a special Zebrayik-only device, and remotely deleted the ship's computer's memory. "Who know's?" he said to himself, "Maybe, someday, I could buy it back from the Coalition. Or steal it." His thought's know turned towards finding new work, came back to the gray and black stallions he had seen in the cantina earlier. They seemed like his type. "I hope I'm right." he thought to himself. "Hey, maybe then I'll have someone to talk to." And with that, he continued on, inconspicuously whistling through his blowhole. He hoped they hadn't left without him.
  18. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky Brick was still on his way to The Mantis when he heard what sounded like a gunshot. He looked up and to the right and saw a red flare in the sky and panicking crowds. He also spied the same black stallion he had seen earlier, trotting away from some ship. "Azalus dopa-meeky karking loca murishani." he whispered to himself. "I need to get a crewmate. Like a buffalo." he thought, "I talk and think to myself way to much."
  19. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky hovered out of the bar, passing by a grey stallion with a target for a cutie mark. "Assassin," he said to himself, "or maybe a hunter." He laughed, remembering the big game hunters that would come to his former home, looking to blast some hydra's brains out. "Home..." He missed it. And he was tired of seeing the equines cheer on they're leader. He looked over, and saw The Mantis was still running. "Why not?" And with that, he started the relatively long journey through the parking lot. He passed another gray colt, except this one had an orange mane. "Hey, didn't he have some purple pony with him?" he asked himself. He shrugged it off. He'd probably bump into her sometime soon.
  20. Salacious B. Crumb
    Inky sat in the cantina, supported by his specialized hover-segway, watching Celestia give her speech. "Preach it, preacha." he sarcastically said under his breath. He decided, simply out of boredom, to go get another ale. As he hovered over to the bar, he noticed a purple mare talking with a gray pegasus. "Hmph. Adventurers. Or smugglers." "Your drink, sir." said the bartender. "Fishy." he added under his breath. "I heard that, you Equestrian zealot."
  21. Salacious B. Crumb
    For me, the episode was pretty good. May favorite two parts are: 1: When Shining A is in his black winter suit. Proves my fanfic in which he becomes Batmane. 2: When the ponies are attacked by King Sombra, aka roaring black smoke monster. Lost anyone?
  22. Salacious B. Crumb
    Favorite 2 things MLP has referenced: Star Trek S1, E1, Luna's crime and punishment are very similar to Khan's from 'Space Seed(TOS)' and Wrath of Khan. Khan attempted to gain control, as did Luna. Also, as Kahn himself said, he was 'marooned for all eternity on the center of a dead planet.' S1, E10, The parasprites in this episode are cute, round, all-consuming reproduction machines. So are the Tribbles from the TOS episode 'The Trouble with Tribbles'. S2, E26, Though this is very vague, the Borg and The Changelings have the same color scheme, black and lime, they are both ruled by queens, and both come from a very distant land. The Lion King S1, E4, When Applejack scares the bunnies into stampeding, they run around a fainted Daisy (coughcoughMufasahackwheese) S1, E11, Near the end, a similarity can be seen to the Circle of Life scene at the beginning of The Lion King. Many different kinds of animals are all walking in t he same direction. The sun has just come up. And then Twilight stands on a cliff that looks a heck of a lot like Pride Rock. S2, E7, Rainbow Dash and the competing pets are in a large ravine. Suddenly, an avalanche comes and traps RD, the stampede of animals rushes by, and she screams for help in a very Simba-esque voice.
  23. Salacious B. Crumb
    Unicorns=Rulers Pegasi=Warriors Earth Ponies= Farmers/Servants It's undeniable, there IS a caste system. BTW, not an original idea. It's from "Dystopia in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
  24. Salacious B. Crumb
    Link to OOC Topic: http://mlpforums.com/topic/35277-celestial-conquest-equestria-fallen/ There are two possibilities: Either we are alone in the universe Or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. Arthur C. Clarke We are here. Why? We have yet to find out. Until then, there are problems to be solved. The Coalition of Equestria is on the brink of total anarchy. After their Zebrayik allies left them, they are near helpless against the advance of the merciless Changeling Empire and the constant growth of the Rebel Fleet. The future is an unpaved road, and somepony needs to pave it.
  25. Salacious B. Crumb
    Pinkie was already relatable, but Cupcakes made her almost an exact copy of me.(I'm NOT a murderer, I just have the creepiest fascination with blood, gore and pumping organs. Meat is just so... delicious.) Cupcakes was hilarious, I laughed the whole way. What am I saying!? It was disgusting, gut-wrenching, mind-blowing HORROR! I hated it! Delicious...
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