I Need The Judging to Begin!

[Countess Noodle 607]

So I have my first OC and I need it judged. I will need constructive criticism and for you tell me if its too cliche or too op.

 

I judged it myself and realized I thought she was great, but only because she was my first OC that Im fully committed to. Also please tell me what kind of RP she could be in. OC is in my SIG. Hold nothing back.

 

 

[Dattebayo 2,850]

I actually kind of like her. She's an a$$hole, but has a reason for being so that's not the generic "herp derp dark past" thing.

I liked the bit about her not being able to consciously do her talent since the first event.

 

I like her backstroy and design (which highlights the whole "I'm a royalty in my head" thing).

I rate this character a "cool" out of "yes".

[Pat.Rio.T. 305]

Seems quite original to me. OP? Nah. Though I find it highly improbable for ladybugs to be physically capable of eating the entire giant spider. Really, what ever Roleplay you want, and that goes for all characters. I avoid grimdarks because I just don't like the idea, but I could still do it. 

[Countess Noodle 607]

 THANK YOU. Even though I said hold nothing back I was still a bit nervous. Thank you for your quick posts.

Edited September 17, 2014 by NoobyBrony

[Mephala 2,635]

It's okay but I don't think that being able to control ladybugs would give her all that big an ego when there are ponies like Fluttercrap who can control every animal, insects/arachnids included; even with parental praise that Cinnamon received for getting it, the fact that she hasn't done it since has to be a bit of an ego flop unless she is in some sort of denial. Also, there haven't been any records of repeated cutie marks on anything besides lazy background characters, so that might need to be changed to something else? Cutie marks are all supposed to be entirely unique to their owner, and if you meant talent, again, there are already ponies like Fluttercrap who can do that and much more.

Also, her name seems kind of random in comparison to her actual self? She doesn't seem frugal, or cinnamony? Don't names usually reflect the personality/abilities/theme of the pony, or encompass their talents? It just seems like you chose a random second word (no offense). First I can sort of understand since she's sort of cinnamon in colour?

What I do like is that she's a bug-themed OC. I don't see enough of them!!! My poor entomologist Bug Buzz was lonely in this world till now. :c

If you want some help, feel free to PM me.

Edited September 17, 2014 by Bubble

[Countess Noodle 607]

 

 

It's okay but I don't think that being able to control ladybugs would give her all that big an ego when there are ponies like Fluttercrap who can control every animal, insects/arachnids included; even with parental praise that Cinnamon received for getting it, the fact that she hasn't done it since has to be a bit of an ego flop. Also, there haven't been any records of repeated cutie marks on anything besides lazy background characters, so that might need to be changed to something else? Cutie marks are all supposed to be entirely unique to their owner, and if you meant talent, again, there are already ponies like Fluttercrap who can do that and much more. Also, her name seems kind of random in comparison to her actual self? She doesn't seem frugal, or cinnamony? Don't names usually reflect the personality/abilities/theme of the pony, or encompass their talents? It just seems like you chose a random second word (no offense). First I can sort of understand since she's sort of cinnamon in colour? If you want some help, feel free to PM me.

 

 

I am planning on a fimfiction for her in the near future that has to do with her name and her family so I apologize. I should post a story of her family history in her bio and until the mlp:fim verse says there isnt documentations for cutiemarks there will be in her backstory. Although I can see where her ability pales in comparison to Fluttershys ability. lol why Fluttercrap. 

[Storm Shine 1,196]

There are ponies like Fluttercrap who can control every animal, insects/arachnids included

Just wanted to point out, that Fluttershy can't really control animals.... She just can understand them, and their thought processes to better convince them to see that she's likely correct, and show them why they would want to do what they say.... kinda like a politician !

 

 

So I have my first OC and I need it judged. I will need constructive criticism and for you tell me if its too cliche or too op.

 

I judged it myself and realized I thought she was great, but only because she was my first OC that Im fully committed to. Also please tell me what kind of RP she could be in. OC is in my SIG. Hold nothing back.

Well, once I've had a bit more Practice, I might see about Drawing this OC... If I do, I'll send a copy of the end result to you for YOUR Criticism  ...

Anyways, as far as the judging of the OC's personality and such.... I think that the OC turned out pretty well. even if a bunch of ladybugs may not normally be able to do something like that, It's good to remember that these were the MAGICALLY ENHANCED ladybugs, magic from a very panicked unicorn filly at that. Totally believable for me, after all just look at what happened to Twilight Sparkle, she panicked, and not only levitated the proctors, but also turned her parents into plants, AND turned baby spike into a REALLY BIG dragon. so yeah, I can believe the magic enhanced ladybugs could kill a giant spider, Especially since it was also caught COMPLETELY off guard. I mean, if your food jumped out of your fridge, or cupboard and started to attack you, would you really be quick to respond? with anything other than panic that is...?

 

Totally understand being a bit of a jerk.. Not only does her cutie mark appear after a life and death situation, but she is also denied the ability to do much of anything regarding her cutie mark, despite having found her Destiny! I mean come on, If you got a cutie mark, but never managed to use anything related to it, how would you feel? that's like Twilight having her horn chopped off after getting Her cutie mark, or Rainbow Dash having her wings splinter beyond repair before or after her first Rainboom, or Fluttershy being recalled to Cloudsdale and being forbidden from going to the ground for some reason..... though Fluttershy might not get jerky... After all ponies are herbivores !

But I like it!

and if you want to go see my OC and leave a comment on that, well that would be just SuperDuperific!

Storm Shine! (http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/storm-shine-r7197)

Stay Safe, Have Fun, and eat CAKE! AND MUFFINS! YAY FOR SWEETS!

Edited September 17, 2014 by Storm Shine