Writing Advice from Eloquence

[Eloquence 2,076]

 

Hello my dears!

 

In my time talking to all of you, I have found a wealth of aspiring writers; those who want to write fanfictions, develop OCs, roleplay, or expand their writing beyond fandom. As a resident writer pony, I am happy to help those in need who seek to improve themselves as writers.

 

Anyone may ask anything they would like. I can review stories and other pieces, answer any questions, give tips on improvement overall or advice on a very specific need for a certain piece. I can even answer the occasional question not relating to writing, if there is something you are really burning to ask me.

 

Go on then, ask away! Don't be shy, there are no silly questions <3

Edited January 10, 2015 by Eloquence

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,605]

Can you review my story Dungeons and Dragons: Platohol's Reckoning, and tell me what to improve?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10430375/1/Dungeons-and-Dragons-Platohol-s-Reckoning

[Eloquence 2,076]

@,

 

I am not familiar with Dungeons and Dragons, and that may give me some trouble in reviewing a story based on it, but I will do my best

 

EDIT: Your story has been read!

 

This works fairly well as far as introductions go, nice grammar and spelling, fairly standard means of starting a tale but not badly executed. I will say that your introduction should be longer, I would aim for at least 1000 words if I were you (yes, even for an introduction). Part of how you might attain this length is by fleshing out the scene further, especially in terms of the children. As they are other characters, minor as they may be, they are very important in creating the scene, and we know very little about them. How many are there? What do they look like? How old are they? Keep in mind I am not suggesting that you "info-dump", but weaving details such as these into the narrative will provide your audience with a more complete picture.

 

I would also suggest revising the interactions between the grandfather and the children. As it stands, I find myself asking why the children would expect a story if one of them merely asked what the grandfather was thinking, and why the grandfather would begin telling a story with no indication of his intent to beforehand.

 

I hope my advice is helpful to you, and I wish you luck as you continue writing your story.

Edited January 10, 2015 by Eloquence

[Taialin 217]

Hello, Eloquence!

 

Here's my question, though I'm not sure if you'll be able to answer it: in your perusing of the romance stories that float around in the MLP community, is there any facet of it that bleeds of originality? I say this because I'm writing a few romance stories now, and to me, it is astoundingly difficult to come up with a romance plot that includes the progression of friendship to romance that's even remotely original; the very fact that the story includes a confession seems to make it inherently unoriginal, and by extension, rather boring.

[Eloquence 2,076]

@@Taialin,

 

This is a very interesting question! 

 

Romance has been done to serious excess, especially in fanfiction. However, I still think a story can be both romantic and original.

 

If you would like to explore romance in a story, my advice (counterintuitive as it may seem) would be to pay closer attention to what surrounds the romance than the romance itself. What causes the relationship to progress into something romantic? How does each character react? How does everyone around them react? 

 

In fact, I might not even make the romance the central aspect of the story at all. This may just be personal taste, but I always prefer a story with a strong non-romantic plot that happens to bring two (or more) characters together to one that focuses strictly on romance. I consider romance to be more of a plot device than a plot in and of itself.

 

I would also consider looking past this need for a "confession". There are other ways to find out about someone's romantic intent without them outright stating it. Maybe someone finds some "incriminating evidence", maybe romantic tension builds to a breaking point, there are lots of options beyond the standard confession.

 

I hope this helps, and feel free to ask me anything else if you need any more information.

[Taialin 217]

 

I would also consider looking past this need for a "confession". There are other ways to find out about someone's romantic intent without them outright stating it. Maybe someone finds some "incriminating evidence", maybe romantic tension builds to a breaking point, there are lots of options beyond the standard confession.

 

 

Oops! Maybe I misphrased this a little bit. I've actually already moved past the whole verbal confession trope because I know that's a genre that's been killed with an overabundance of fics, brought back to life, then killed again. I mean to say that the very action of one pony discovering another has affections for them—however it may happen—is overdone and unoriginal. In my mind, there are only three (two-and-a-half, really) ways that this can end, and all of them have been done to some extent:

 

(I'll just use some Flutterdash here since I don't want to say Pony 1 vs. Pony 2.)

 

One: Fluttershy "confesses" love to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash reciprocates, claiming that she loved Fluttershy all along, and they live happily ever after. Sound familiar? 

Two: Fluttershy "confesses" love to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash has never thought of Fluttershy that way, but is willing to give dating for a while a shot. Not quite as pervasive as Option One here, but still fairly overused. It doesn't help that these stories tend to be constructed exactly like Option One stories, in any case (except for the very end).

And-a-Half: Fluttershy "confesses" love to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash has never thought of Fluttershy that way and, for one reason or another, feels that she cannot give Fluttershy what she needs and rejects her affections. I say this is a half-option because few writers actually choose it, and for good reason: it's sort of original, but it's not satisfying. You don't really want to go into a romance also expecting it to be a tragedy, right?

 

So that's my problem, here: to me, writing romance is like placing yourself between a rock, a hard place, and a crying-Fluttershy-cliff. I mean, I'm rather good at making Fluttershy cry (Literally every story I have published so far includes Fluttershy crying to some extent. I'm so awful.) but I'm not that cruel. Yet. 

 

That's why a lot of the things I write are friendshipping: I don't need to answer this question. That being said, I'd like to write some full-fledged romance, but I've shirked the genre so far for the very issue that I'm discussing right now.

[Eloquence 2,076]

@@Taialin,

 

Oh, I see. So now you are trying to decide how to turn a friendship into something more without making it sound cliche. 

 

Well, there is the option of the two of them discovering each others' feelings at the same time, which is a bit harder to do and therefore seen less often. Essentially Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash (using your example ponies) are put into a situation that encourages their romantic feelings to bubble to the surface at the same time, and they naturally flow from the platonic into the romantic. This is hard to do without making it all look like a cheesy rom-com, but if you can do it you will be rewarded with something original.

 

There is also the option of using those 2 1/2 options you listed in a unique way. Just because something has been done before, that doesn't mean it cannot be made fresh and new, that the "confession" can't be something never seen before. Just because something is cliche, that doesn't mean it can't be made new again with a little creativity

[Taialin 217]

@@Eloquence,

Well then, if you're willing to do it, I may need someone to do some pre-reading for me! There's actually a rather original idea that I have, and I've done some writing on it, but I'm concerned that the idea is original to the point that it doesn't make sense anymore. Classical romance ideas are cliché and overdone, but at least they're conservative, and they work. Originality is adventurous, and at least in my stories, may require leaps of logic and suspension of disbelief that readers aren't necessarily willing to provide. 

 

This is what I mean by original and adventurous: When's the last time you've seen a romance fic wherein a heterosexual and homosexual somehow fall in love with each other? By its very definition, this idea doesn't make any sense, and I'm trying to somehow convince you with words that it does.

 

You willing to do a little pre-reading on this subject?

[Shadow Beam 1,179]

I recently started a little fanfic, I'm kinda embarassed about it, I don't think it's very interesting. I had a clear idea in mind for days, and it turned out pretty short (700 words) thanks to my english skills (Goddamn it spanish, why do you have to exist?) and also that I had to write in a small tablet before I forgot everything (The tablet automatically translated almost every word to spanish). The good thing is that if it fails too much it's only 700 words long, so I can actually rewrite it when I have the time.

 

Could you take a little peek and tell me if it is too bad?

[Eloquence 2,076]

@@Taialin,

 

I would be honored to pre-read your story for you. I am most excited to do so, in fact I love a story that takes risks and subverts expectations.

 

((Ironically, this plot sounds very much like my relationship with my partner, if you'd believe it))

I recently started a little fanfic, I'm kinda embarassed about it, I don't think it's very interesting. I had a clear idea in mind for days, and it turned out pretty short (700 words) thanks to my english skills (Goddamn it spanish, why do you have to exist?) and also that I had to write in a small tablet before I forgot everything (The tablet automatically translated almost every word to spanish). The good thing is that if it fails too much it's only 700 words long, so I can actually rewrite it when I have the time.

 

Could you take a little peek and tell me if it is too bad?

 

I would also be more than happy to take a look at your story. All I will need is the link.

[Taialin 217]

I would be honored to pre-read your story for you. I am most excited to do so, in fact I love a story that takes risks and subverts expectations.   ((Ironically, this plot sounds very much like my relationship with my partner, if you'd believe it))

 

Does it? Looks like I found the right person to pre-read my story, then!

 

One more question, this one a bit more personal: Are you averse to reading mature fics, Eloquence? My entire foray into romance has been something of an experiment, and one thing I've also been trying to do is write original . . . well, y'know. Romance, mature? It's more than just the action of it, though, and this idea might make even less sense than the one I just discussed.

[Eloquence 2,076]

Does it? Looks like I found the right person to pre-read my story, then!

 

One more question, this one a bit more personal: Are you averse to reading mature fics, Eloquence? My entire foray into romance has been something of an experiment, and one thing I've also been trying to do is write original . . . well, y'know. Romance, mature? It's more than just the action of it, though, and this idea might make even less sense than the one I just discussed.

 

I am not averse to such subject matter, in fact it does not bother me in the slightest. I will be happy to read your story even if it includes some mature themes

 

((haha, thanks!))

[Taialin 217]

 

 

I am not averse to such subject matter, in fact it does not bother me in the slightest. I will be happy to read your story even if it includes some mature themes   ((haha, thanks!))

 

Alright, thanks!

 

Give me a few days to prepare this thing, and I'll send you a link.

[Prismatica 37]

Do you have any general advice or tips on writing crossovers?

[Eloquence 2,076]

Do you have any general advice or tips on writing crossovers?

 

That is a very wide category to give advice on, but I think I have one thing to say that will help. When combining different stories, it is very important to consider how elements of that story might clash with each other. For example, let's say you wanted to combine the TV shows Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Supernatural into one story, a common sight given that these series are often lumped together (if you spend any time on the internet then I'm sure you've heard of the "superwholock" fandom). Placing all of these different stories into the same universe would not work, as each universe operates under different rules. Sherlock is a depiction of our own world essentially as it is, while in Doctor Who problems are mostly caused by aliens, and in Supernatural they are mostly caused by, well, the supernatural. They may all be live-action shows often set in "our world", but these worlds obey different laws, and not considering that when throwing all of these characters together would result in a disjointed mess.

 

That is probably my best general advice for you; pay close attention to the laws of each universe, and bring them together in such a way that you do not create a fictional world that contradicts itself. I hope that helps!

[Rebel the Wolfgirl 5,605]

Can you read this story, and tell me what I can improve?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11079477/1/Deathlands-Hope-Never-Dies

[Eloquence 2,076]

Can you read this story, and tell me what I can improve?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11079477/1/Deathlands-Hope-Never-Dies

 

I most certainly can, though it might take me a few days. I've been terribly busy lately, but even if it takes me a little while I can always find time to help a prospective writer

[Eloquence 2,076]

Can you read this story, and tell me what I can improve?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11079477/1/Deathlands-Hope-Never-Dies

 

I just finished your story!

 

Really, I think the one most important thing you can do to improve what you have is to make it longer. Right now, it is hard for me to ascertain the quality of your story based on so little text. I do not feel as if I should say anything more about it, because I cannot see what you will do with your ideas for this story until you fully write them.

 

That is definitely what I would focus on. Expand what you have here, show us the world you are creating.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Eloquence

[AmberDust 1,118]

If you don't mind me asking a non-writing related question...

What is your favourite genre? Or author? And what genre are you most comfortable writing in?

 

I really love Terry Prachett's Discworld. It's really interesting and hilarious and it certainly breaks the mold of fantasy writing. I recommend it to everyone.

[Eloquence 2,076]

If you don't mind me asking a non-writing related question...

What is your favourite genre? Or author? And what genre are you most comfortable writing in?

 

I really love Terry Prachett's Discworld. It's really interesting and hilarious and it certainly breaks the mold of fantasy writing. I recommend it to everyone.

 

I do not mind at all! I very much enjoy fantasy as well, though realistic fiction can be quite enjoyable for me as well. I am not sure that I really have a favorite genre, as I have found that every genre has a number of fantastic stories in it, but if I had to pick I do favor stories with fantasy elements.

 

As for my own writing, I'm not sure you could call it a genre but I prefer writing stories that focus more on emotion than action.

 

I am not familiar with the novel you mentioned, but I will certainly give it a look now that it has been recommended to me

 

((As for myself, Eloquence and I are pretty much the same. Fantasy's probably my favorite genre, unless "strong female characters" can be considered a genre))

[Littlecandylulu903 415]

@@Eloquence,

 

What roleplays are you most likely to enter?

[Eloquence 2,076]

@@Eloquence,

 

What roleplays are you most likely to enter?

 

I can usually be found in slice of life roleplays, but I also enjoy an exciting adventure every now and again. One place you are not likely to find me is combat roleplay, I am really not much for hoofticuffs.

[Littlecandylulu903 415]

I can usually be found in slice of life roleplays, but I also enjoy an exciting adventure every now and again. One place you are not likely to find me is combat roleplay, I am really not much for hoofticuffs.

Okay, see I'm new here and your OC seemed interesting. Lemme know when you RP!

[Eloquence 2,076]

Okay, see I'm new here and your OC seemed interesting. Lemme know when you RP!

 

Of course dear

 

Actually, I'm in roleplays pretty much constantly in the more moderated roleplay section of this forum. If you have any questions about roleplaying here, you can feel free to ask me

[AmberDust 1,118]

I am not familiar with the novel you mentioned, but I will certainly give it a look now that it has been recommended to me

 

Discworld isn't a novel, but a series. Well, no, actually, it's the world that a whole bunch of individual stories by Terry Pratchett take place in. It's really quite interesting!

 

Unfortunately, Sir Terry Pratchett died two days ago...:'( He's written about 70 or so novels, and he was only 66. u_u

 

Anyways, I really REALLY recommend it. He has a very interesting way of writing, and I think any aspiring author would really appreciate his art. I just finished reading his novel "Mort" a couple days ago, and the first thing I wanted to do was read it again, if that's any hint of how awesome he is.

 

Okay I'm done obsessing. Sorry. ^^"

Edited March 14, 2015 by AmberDust