So much hate on Dark/Tainted Mist

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

 

Its sad to see people not understanding that this character is her own, not a sombra copy. If people want to hate the concept, let them; but you never hate the character; the story is what you should be focused on.  Saying m story was like a car wreck in slow motion isn't true, everyone makes mistakes; that person didn't have to go overboard. That is pure hatred of an OC, not feedback, its not deserved. 

 

So here's the story behind them:

 

Tainted gets her amusement by deriving pleasure from others misery and fears, one thing Sombra never did. She toys with her victims, never uses them for personal gain(again not like sombra). She will often when humiliated turn that anger towards a pony of her choice and make them part of the decor; which helps her feel better afterward. She has that air of being a princess but yet isn't one, so she acts as if she is one, she's cruel and never shows compassion or care who she hurts to get her way; she is like a spoiled child. 

 

Dark Mist on the other hand, is more geared towards an introvert, because of how she is treated; so she tries to be alone a; away from those who would harass her. I may not know the proper way to display this; but i can only do so much in such a short time.

 

__________________________________

 

I've tried to find help on fimfiction, but nobody ever wants to do a thing to help. Which is why my story flopped, but i'm proud of what i came up with, it has its originality; it doesn't copy any other fics. People will do anything to shoot down an OC fic. Its so sad that they can't accept it for what it is.

I should have just kept it to myself if i knew people would be so insensitive.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[Black Sabbath 2,488]

Nobody said anything about Dark Mist being a copy of Sombra. Most people probably find this OC unoriginal because of books such as "The strange case of Doktor Jekyll and Mr Hyde". Also, on didn't you say that "what really matters is the grammar and the characters, nothing else" on fimfiction?

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

Yes, but that one comment about  car crash was offensive; i doubt he even thought about that before he said it. My friend died in that fashion; they need to learn not to talk like that. They need to watch what they say around others and take into consideration that a comment such as that can be hurtful.

Nobody said anything about Dark Mist being a copy of Sombra. Most people probably find this OC unoriginal because of books such as "The strange case of Doktor Jekyll and Mr Hyde". Also, on didn't you say that "what really matters is the grammar and the characters, nothing else" on fimfiction?

There is a comment that's fine and one that goes too far, the one who said like a car crash in slow motion needs to watch his mouth. That will easily get him in trouble. 

 

There's nothing unoriginal about her at all; people here love it.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,676]

Forgive me for being blunt but those eyes and the effects really aren't helping. It's easy to see how people get confused.

 

You know, it is often said if not preached not to jump to conclusion but going on experience, I say that black-and-white thinking and jumping to conclusions at the first opportunity is more the norm rather than the exception.

 

Is it right? No. Of course not. But thinking of this in terms of right and wrong is only going to give you a headache and make you lose hair. This is what happens in practice and that's all that matters.

 

As for th fan fic itself, I'm pretty sure it was the writing itself that failed. You should try a different writing style and convey the characters differently. The thing is, you spoil your own story by just telling the audience about the characters instead of just letting their actions speak for them and leave the audience to ask the questions instead of doing it for them.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

Forgive me for being blunt but those eyes and the effects really aren't helping. It's easy to see how people get confused.

 

You know, it is often said if not preached not to jump to conclusion but going on experience, I say that black-and-white thinking and jumping to conclusions at the first opportunity is more the norm rather than the exception.

 

Is it right? No. Of course not. But thinking of this in terms of right and wrong is only going to give you a headache and make you lose hair. This is what happens in practice and that's all that matters.

 

As for th fan fic itself, I'm pretty sure it was the writing itself that failed. You should try a different writing style and convey the characters differently. The thing is, you spoil your own story by just telling the audience about the characters instead of just letting their actions speak for them and leave the audience to ask the questions instead of doing it for them.

That's the only one i know how to do. Unless someone can show me how to do just that; i'd be more than happy to do so.

I might just put this back on fanfiction instead, since they don't care about if it was deleted or a resubmission.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,676]

That's the only one i know how to do. Unless someone can show me how to do just that; i'd be more than happy to do so.

Well... maybe you could try my style of writing: focus exclusively on what they do, what they say and how they express themselves. Actions do speak louder than words.

[Black Sabbath 2,488]

Yes, but that one comment about  car crash was offensive; i doubt he even thought about that before he said it. My friend died in that fashion; they need to learn not to talk like that. They need to watch what they say around others and take into consideration that a comment such as that can be hurtful.

So first it's rude because it's pure hatred of an OC and now it's offensive?

 

I've tried to find help on fimfiction, but nobody ever wants to do a thing to help. Which is why my story flopped, but i'm proud of what i came up with, it has its originality; it doesn't copy any other fics. People will do anything to shoot down an OC fic. Its so sad that they can't accept it for what it is.

I should have just kept it to myself if i knew people would be so insensitive.

By the gods, stop saying that the real reason everybody disliked your story was only becausen it only have OC's in it. People have said why they didn't like story, just like you told them to. Now, you just have to accept it.

[Luna the Great of all the Russias 3,120]

I will start with this post by saying that I have little to no experience in storytelling.

 

In other thread I have said that rating system is quite arbitrary. However, perhaps contradicting myself, despite the flaws in the rating system it still provides at least some sort indication on the quality of the story. I read some of the comments; some simply bashed on the story but some did provide feedback (some vague but still better than nothing). Personally, if everyone who commented said story wasn't good; I think it's good to listen to them. You said that you worked hard on this story and are proud of it; that's good. But don't be so proud that you're unwilling to listen to people who disagree. You say people don't understand so it's your responsibility to do better to explain in story. Apologies if this is stating the obvious but listening to criticism, though may be hurtful, may perhaps be one of the best ways to improve.

 

If you love writing you should definitely continue even if it's highly criticized; you'll no doubt improve and it truly is a shame when people quit their hobbies due to lacking motivation or confidence.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Tsaritsa Luna

[LordSwinton 759]

Where is this story? Could someone give me a link?

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

So first it's rude because it's pure hatred of an OC and now it's offensive?

 

By the gods, stop saying that the real reason everybody disliked your story was only becausen it only have OC's in it. People have said why they didn't like story, just like you told them to. Now, you just have to accept it.

I'm about to report that guy who made that offensive car crash statement, that is insensitive; what about that can't you get? I just want people to show some respect when stating their opinion, not start being snobbish just because i corrected them.

Also i epxlained everything here, so there's nothing more to say.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,676]

I'm about to report that guy who made that offensive car crash statement, that is insensitive; what about that can't you get? I just want people to show some respect when stating their opinion, not start being snobbish just because i corrected them.

How long have you been on the internet? Not a whole lot from what I'm seeing...

 

One of the rules of the internet is that nothing is sacred. People are going to act however they please if they can get away with it.

 

Or maybe I'm just cynical. *shrugs*

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

How long have you been on the internet? Not a whole lot from what I'm seeing...

 

One of the rules of the internet is that nothing is sacred. People are going to act however they please if they can get away with it.

 

Or maybe I'm just cynical. *shrugs*

Its not my fault they act that way, i'm not very good at summaries; so i just try my best to describe what the story is about. I have plenty of motivation. I'm not going to even try to do what they want anymore; its just not worth the stress. If they don't like it, they can move on and stop trying to make my story look like a train wreck.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[Gestum 2,493]

I'm about to report that guy who made that offensive car crash statement, that is insensitive; what about that can't you get?

Good luck with that.

 

You do realize that he wasn't referring to the story, he was referring to the way you acted in the comment section.

[Luna the Great of all the Russias 3,120]

Someone just left an elaborate criticism. Seems it could be quite useful.

 

Just read the entire comment. The user seems to be reasonable in my opinion.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Tsaritsa Luna

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

Good luck with that.

 

You do realize that he wasn't referring to the story, he was referring to the way you acted in the comment section.

I reacted to the way they wanted to be treated, its all fair when they ask for it.

[Gestum 2,493]

I reacted to the way they wanted to be treated, its all fair when they ask for it.

No. They did what you asked them too do. You complained when people didn't comment on why they disliked it. Then you got all defensive and refused to listen to them. What you should have done was to listen to them, and rewrite the story so they would like it.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

No. They did what you asked them too do. You complained when people didn't comment on why they disliked it. Then you got all defensive and refused to listen to them. What you should have done was to listen to them, and rewrite the story so they would like it.

Most of their comments were not well mannered; and how can i when they never mention anything that could be done. I'm not sure what any of it means tbh.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[Gestum 2,493]

Most of their comments were not well mannered; and how can i when they never mention anything that could be done.

Well maybe they would be well mannered of you was it in that first comment you left.

 

They mentioned what was wrong. You didn't listen. What more do you want?

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

It wouldn't hurt them to give just a simple review; it was the only way they would respond at all. Sometimes it takes a little encouragement to make them say a darn word. Sayig they didn't have the time; when i'm sure they did; now they seem to have plenty.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[Luna the Great of all the Russias 3,120]

Well maybe they would be well mannered of you was it in that first comment you left.

 

They mentioned what was wrong. You didn't listen. What more do you want?

I have to agree with this statement because, at least to me, it seemed as if you were being too self-entitled. It's fine to ask for comments, but the tone of the comment was as if you were scolding people which was not good.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

I have to agree with this statement because, at least to me, it seemed as if you were being too self-entitled. It's fine to ask for comments, but the tone of the comment was as if you were scolding people which was not good.

I hate excuses they use for not doing so, if they have the time to read it, they have the time to leave a small piece of advice. I've read every single one, not one of them seemed to point at which point i made the mistakes. If they do that, then i can fix it.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[LordSwinton 759]

If I could get a link to it I would be willing to help, I've helped Ice Blizzard with his.

[Blue Moon 6,345]

Well, to be fair, you did ask for feedback, no matter how harsh it was, so it comes off as rude to scold them for leaving their opinions.

 

Anyway, if you get any criticism that's not constructive, I'd suggest just ignoring it. It doesn't help anyone to reply to them with more rudeness, and it's just not worth your time.

 

 

 

I've read every single one, not one of them seemed to point at which point i made the mistakes. If they do that, then i can fix it.

 

Actually, most of them pointed out the mistakes, some more than others, but I did see some constructive criticism. A common criticism seems to be that it's unoriginal, so if you really want to improve your story, I'd suggest focusing on that.

Edited June 2, 2015 by PathfinderCS
Link to story edited out

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

I'm going to die from embarrassment, geez what am i doing? I tried to make Tainted Mist Intimidating, but seems i failed at that aspect. Curse my own thought processes. And just to be clear, this is in no way a self insert; i never think the way they both do; so any attempts and trying to make it true are invalid.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Candy Star

[LordSwinton 759]

Right off the bat I can say the atmosphere in the beginning is great but it gets neglected as the chapter goes on.

 

Sometimes your sentence structure doesn't suit the mood you are trying to portray. Certain sentences are too long or too short for their situations.

 

Sometimes a comma (,) or full stop (.) is better suited than a (; )

 

The many I's should be capital. And there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors.

 

One of the most blaring problem I'd say is the tense. I believe it's suppose to be present tense but I get a bit of a headache trying to sort it out. I think it's better if you stuck to a past/present mix of tense but stick to past if you aren't good with tenses.

 

The character of Dark Mist seems very passive in her own story and doesn't seen to do much.

 

The dialogue in the story feels a bit jumbled and unnatural, doesn't flow well.

 

You should try using their names less as it gets dizzy especially between Dark Mist and Evening Mist. You could simply refer to then as he or she.

 

Sometimes the tone contradicts with the mood and assumed atmosphere. Evening Mist seemed too calm.

 

That's all I can say for now.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Swinton