Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Zaten 280]

Twilight: Get noscoped, NOOB!

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"I miss Queen Chrysalis"

- Shining Armor

"What's love got to do with it?"

- Cadence

“I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad pony.”

- Celestia

"Blue moon, you saw me standing alone"

- Luna

"I'll sit this one out"

- Rainbow Dash

"Would you just be quiet for a minute?"

- Pinky Pie

"I need a thousand gallons of defoliant...STAT!"

- Applejack

"I baked bear-claws. No, I guess technically, I didn't bake. I ROASTED bear-claws! Do you want BBQ sauce with that?"

- Fluttershy

"Where the heck is that darn Alicorn Amulet?"

- Twilight

Forget it. From now on, everypony can stay naked! See if I care!"

- Rarity

 

 

 

 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: I don't get why every other pony laughed while Flim and Flam kept singing "Acronym of our university." while pointing at me.

Rarity: *Chuckle.* Yes, it's just slang.

Twilight Sparkle: Well what does it mean?

Rarity: Good luck, getting a pony to answer that to you.

 

Neighsay: Princess Twilight, can't stand some competition. You go around flaunting your status of being from the Canterlot upper crust where everything was handed to you. When lowly ponies try to make a bit, you come in to stomp them out. Forshame.

 

Applejack: Look at Trixie, just on stage boasting.

Trixie: If you have a problem with my show, why are you even here? No one is forcing you to watch.

Pony: Yeah, we're getting tired of you Mane 6 always policing us.

Rarity: Oh no, they're rebelling.

 

Rainbow Dash: Screw this, you're all on your own. *Leaves.*

 

Rarity: How clear does a pony have to make it of you, me, and that room right now.

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: Spikey, you're the one that took the amulet.

Rainbow Dash: Traitor! *Attacks Spike.*

Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Get off of Spike!

Rainbow Dash: You're just lucky the princess still cares for your sorry tail.

Spike: Oh, I don't think I can fly anymore.

Rarity: What is going on?

Starlight Glimmer: We did this exercise to have you two get back together.

Gallus: So wait. You manipulated and deceived them to keep them together to maintain what amounts to a status quo. How is that friendship?

Twilight Glimmer: You're expelled Gallus.

 

Edited August 25, 2018 by Singe

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"Twilight, whatever gave you the idea that your school would receive tax exempt status?"

- Celestia

"Attention all students. Due to the "Magic of Taxation", there will now be an across the board 20% increase in tuition!"

-Twilight

"20% increase? That's harsh. Hey wait, why is everypony looking at me like I should say something funny?"

- Rainbow Dash

"Attention all staff. Due to the "Power of Taxation" your staff discount at the cafeteria has been revoked. Have a nice day"

- Twilight

 

 

[Singe 2,111]

Spike: Starlight, I need some help. It's about Rarity.

Starlight Glimmer: So you finally come to terms.

Spike: No, I'm tired of waiting and I want you to use a love spell to compel her to fall in love with me.

 

Rarity: Spikey, no swiping!

 

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: See friends don't have to have things in common to be good friends.

Starlight Glimmer: Come on you two. You don't have to have common interests. Isn't there someone you both like or despise?

Rarity: Well.....

Rainbow Dash: Applejack complains too much and I hate it.

Rarity: Oh yes. I hate that. She's always got something to complain about.

Rainbow Dash: You see that smug look she gives about claiming to always be right.

Rarity: It's like she's asking to be smacked with a hoof.

Starlight Glimmer: Glad we have something in common now. Applejack just won't drop it, she's so stubborn to point until she gets her way or is 3 hoofs in the grave.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, we see another way to have something in common is to rag on the least liked friend of group.

Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Starlight Glimmer: Twilight is just as bad.

Twilight Sparkle: *Heavy sigh.*

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight (Eyepatch): Kept you waiting huh?

Rarity (Planity): *blinks* not at all darling. I mean it's only just an eyepatch right, honestly it really shouldn't take long to...

Twilight puts a hoof to the Rarity's hoof:  Shh, don't talk. First we are going to stun them, then we are going to kick them in the groin a few times, but most importantly they are going to scream for their mamas and beg us to shut down their phoney University.

Rarity: i knew that gifting you that  Timberwolf cub was a bad idea

Twilight's eyes widened: Celestia damnit

Rarity: What?

Twilight: i've should have taken T-Dog  with us on the mission, stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Edited September 2, 2018 by R.D.Dash

[NathanW200 306]

I can't see the mane six ever saying they have love interests for each other even though I have seen a lot of lesbian images of the Mane Six like Pinkie Pie French kissing Rainbow Dash it's made up fan work I would hope the Mane six would have love interests toward male ponies not other female ponies especially each other

Edited August 31, 2018 by NathanW200

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: I've been having a hard time trying to figure out where to send you Starlight.

Spike: That's because you keep having her end up in a grave.

Starlight Glimmer: You have some sick fantasies, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, I know. I've also written down many scenarios. Like one where Rainbow Dash loses a race to Big Mac and she traps him leading to...

Spike: Twilight, we don't have time to hear about your other crazy fantasies.

Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, I don't want to know what happens.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine. Just be careful around Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, they're ticking time bombs that could snap and end you.

 

Edited September 2, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Rarity: Pinkie moved away from Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash: No more constantly having to hang out with her?

Applejack: No more Pinkie trying to muscle her way into my family?

Rainbow Dash/Applejack: We're free! We're free! No more Pinkie! No more Pinkie!

Twilight Sparkle: Hey!

Rainbow Dash/Applejack: She's gone. So sad.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie's sad. So let's throw her a celebration to make her feel better and I'll declare it a special day for her.

Pony: See there she goes again. Making another day for her friends along with throwing a lavish party at the tax payer expense and labor like usual.

Applejack: Twilight I don't know where you got this idea from....

Rarity: Starlight.

Applejack: But we don't throw celebrations for a public nuisance. More than half the town has hearing problems because of Pinkie's playing.

 

Fluttershy: What's wrong Pinkie Pie? Your sensitive little heart can't take some criticism of your sucky playing.

 

Narrator: Here we see Rainbow Dash sitting at a cafe enjoying her first edition Daring Do book that she finally got. A clumsy waiter passes by and spills drink on her book. Rainbow Dash jumps into action attacking the waiter smacking him non-stop with her book. Other ponies try to get in to pull Rainbow Dash off the waiter but she's back on him attacking him mercilessly. Twilight Sparkle is now on the scene to break up the fight. Demanding answers, Rainbow Dash concocts a lie about the waiter making an offensive remark about Princess Celestia. Then Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are at it again attacking the waiter. He won't see the end of his shift this day. 

 

Tirek: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his magic with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

 

Colt: Starlight would you go out on a date?

Starlight Glimmer: A date. Let me guess, this must be another friendship lesson. Twilight put you up to this. Didn't she?

Colt: I don't know what you're talking about.

Edited September 3, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Pinkie Pie: I hope you choke on my jokes.

Rarity: I'm a fashion disaster.

Rainbow Dash: Is this the end of my glory days?

Applejack: I've bitten off more than I could chew.

Fluttershy: I can't go on any further.

Twilight Sparkle: No, I've failed all my friends.

 

Applejack: Pinkie's playing made all my apples explode to applesauce.

Rainbow Dash: Please tell me cider season is still on?

Applejack: I'm afraid not.

Rainbow Dash: I'll put her out of our misery!

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, Rainbow Dash! We made an agreement to not, be violent against each other!

 

Neighsay: I'll admit I was wrong about creatures being a dangerous threat when hell freezes over.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Could you help teach Spike to fly?

Smolder: Sure. *Grabs Spike and tosses him off a cliff.*

Spike: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Twilight Sparkle: Why would you do that?

Smolder: That's how we do it back home.

Rainbow Dash: *Laughs.* Reminds me of how my grandpa tried to teach me to fly. He threw me off the cloud when mom and dad weren't looking.

 

Sunset Shimmer: What is that?

Applejack: It's a horse pill.

Sunset Shimmer: How exactly does a horse take that big pill?

Applejack: Like this.

Sunset Shimmer: Are you kidding me?!

Edited September 5, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Scootaloo: You're just boring now. You bore me.

Rainbow Dash: What? The Wonderbolts are the most professional flying team around. We can't be boring.

Scootaloo: Really? Oh look there's a flight formation. Wow what another flight formation. Another innovative flight formation. Flight formations is all you do.

Rainbow Dash: I can understand that I haven't been as awesome like I use too.

Scootaloo: I've just found an interest in some other ponies.

Rainbow Dash: Are you breaking up with me?

Scootaloo: Let's just say we need some time apart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rainbow Dash: *Crying.* Scoots broke up with me. Nobody loves me. Wah!

Rarity: Is that what I sound like?

Edited September 9, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Trixie: I have one rule. If the pots and pans are a clanking, don't come a knocking.

 

Starlight Glimmer: Trixie you're just as bad at hoarding like Fluttershy does with animals.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia, today I made a new friend. A really boring friend. She would go on and on about boring things. I tried really hard to keep my composure but there is so much a pony can take. So I did the nicest way to handle it. She's currently missing and the authorities have no clue. Your faithful student, Twilight.

Spike: So do you want me to send this one?

Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm going to burn it.

Spike: You really burn a lot letters of failed friendship experiences.

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia doesn't need to know I'm bad at friendship. Just the good ones.

[Singe 2,111]

Neighsay: I'm shutting your school down.

Twilight Sparkle: You can't shut it down.

Neighsay: Really, we'll I guess I can leave it open while over there at that rubble. There can be tombstones that say, 'Here lies Sprinkle Muffin. Thanks a lot Princess of Friendship.' However, I'll give you a chance. I expect those six will be punished.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, they will.

Neighsay: Then their punishment must be befitting of the chaos they caused. This means no months of friendship lessons or writing thousands of times, 'I will not skip class, cause a panic, and try to squash ponies.' You must expel them just like the rules in the EEA book says. You may refuse, then I will have no choice to shut down your school.

Twilight Sparkle: But....

Neighsay: There are no other choices, them or your school. Choose.

Twilight Sparkle: I will not expel them.

Neighsay: Fine. Then by my authority of the EEA your school is shutdown for good.

 

[BlackPony 77]

Gallus: I can't wait for professor Twilight to give us our next assignment!

Ocellus: Why? Work is so boring!

[BloodDrops 762]

 

Season End Spoilers, 

Derpy: "I didn't fly into anything this time" 

Twilight Sparkle: "Cozy Glow Evil? Yeah Right she just has powerful friends"

Cozy Glow: "Friendship Isn't Power. Friendship is Friendship"

[Luigi 7,870]

Big McIntosh: Look! I'm Woody! HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY!

Applebloom: That's not how Tom Hanks sounds at all!

(Big McIntosh and Sugar Belle laugh)

Applejack: Tom Hanks says it like "THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!"

(Big McIntosh, Sugar Belle, and Applebloom laugh)

[O-78 28,607]

Rarity: "I could eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and then vomit up the vowels and consonants separately!"

Applejack: "If you can't learn the language, then it's aboot time you got the fook oota here!"

Twilight (to Spike): "Eat your fucking cornflakes, you cocksucker!"

Celestia: "I want everyone to know it was great being alive and I really enjoyed myself. I especially enjoyed fucking and going to the movies."

Yeah, as awesome as George Carlin was/is/always will be, I can't see too many references to him in FiM.

 

[Luigi 7,870]

Thorax: Well, your highness, I told you attacking Canterlot was a bad idea. What do you have to say for yourself now?

Queen Chrysalis: Only one thing to say, Thorax.

Thorax: And that is?

Chrysalis: SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!

[Will Guide 21,360]

Lightening Dust: Safety First

[Luigi 7,870]

(Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle are playing Dokapon Kingdom)

Rarity: All right, are you getting in the fracas?

(Rainbow spins a number just enough to move to the same spot as Rarity, who is fighting a boss)

Twilight Sparkle: She's there. This gets interesting now.

(Rainbow mistakenly challenges Rarity to a fight instead of the boss)

Rainbow: NO, I DIDN'T WANT TO

Raity: WHY'D YOU PICK ME, RAINBOW??????????

Rainbow: I DIDN'T CLICK IT, I WAS HOLDING THE BUTTON DOWN!!!!

Rarity: Why would you hold it, it's all that counts, Rainbow!

Twilight Sparkle: Just give up.

Rarity! Giving up, I'm not fighting you. Still very upset right now though.

(Rainbow is given the choice to change Rarity's in game name or forgive her. She chooses to change her name)

Twilight Sparkle: Change the name?

Rarity: You can forgive me! There's a forgive option, Rainbow!

Rainbow Dash: Well, this doesn't hurt you.

(Rainbow Dash changes Rarity's in game name to "The Fashionator.")

Twilight Sparkle: (Laughs)

Rarity: The Fashionator? (Rainbow laughs) That is what you interrupt our boss fight for. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR A TURN... (Rainbow is still giggling) BECAUSE YOU NAME ME "FASHIONATOR" BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STOP HOLDING BUTTONS WHEN IT'S NOT YOUR TURN... (Rainbow still giggling) AND WHEN IT IS YOUR TURN, AND YOU DON'T NEED TO PRESS A BUTTON, YOU PRESS A BUTTON!!!!!!!

 

[Singe 2,111]

Rockhoof: Fine. If you won't do it. Then I'll go dig myself a deep hole and make it collapse on me.

 

Applejack: I can't believe Rockhoof is teaching at the school.

Rarity: Yes, then you can invite him over to your home for dinner. We'll be sure to visit you in the hospital tomorrow to check up on that broken hip.

 

Yona: Yona likes new teacher. He smashes good.

Gallus: If you like him so much, why don't you marry him?

Yona: Yona still pondering about that right now.

Gallus: You're kidding?

 

Rainbow Dash: Rockhoof is a hero. He's needs to be doing heroic things. Kinda wish he was around all those past times when we had to deal with this stuff. Smashing Changlings like bugs. Beating up the Storm King. Busting Tirek where it hurts.

 

Spitfire: You're a pony looking for a date and you meet Rockhoof. He's great and you might invite him in for some hot coffee. Well big mistake because you're in a full body wing-and-hoof cast, drinking through a straw!

 

 

Edited September 23, 2018 by Singe

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, could you house Rockhoof for a bit until we figure out something?

Applejack: I can, but Big Mac may feel inadequate around his girlfriend with Rockhoof there.

 

Rockhoof: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Rarity: No, no. It's not your fault. It just means Twilight forgot to mention some things like usual.

 

Gallus: These teachers are weird, but the pony in the jelly took the prize.

 

Rockhoof: I want to turn to stone.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm sure Fluttershy's friend Treehugger can hook you up.

 

Mistmane: I've never worked with crystals before.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, you have something on your nose.

Mistmane: Oh. *Snort.* I just got another inspiration.

[Singe 2,111]

Neighsay: Equestria wouldn't have been facing so many crisis if our princesses were more focused on protecting it than telling us how to feel and think.