Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[HereComesTom 2,268]

Twilight:  I've created a spell that can transmute any substance to a heavy metal called "Uranium"!  Stack all of it over there in that corner, Spike, while I figure out what this thing called "Critical Mass" is...

[Castle Bleck 19,376]

Twilight Sparkle: *Touches any book ever.*

 

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight: "Zecora, there is one thing we never asked you."

Zecora: "That would be?"

Twilight: "Where are you from?"

Zecora: "Wakanda"

 

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

"The truth is, I am Iron Pony!"

- Rarity

 

[HereComesTom 2,268]

Applejack:  Apple Bloom, I never told you this, but Ma died due to complications in childbirth when she had you, so Big Mackintosh and I have secretly been blaming you for her death all your life.  ...Just thought you should know.

[RDDash 19,189]

Granny Smith: "Nopony said that your parents died silly, they are just divorced and that that. That happens sometimes. What do you think we are bucking Disney that we enjoy having children with dead parents?"

[The MegaBrony 219]

Trixie at critical HP: Time to get serious!

Starlight at critical HP: It's not over yet!

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"Oh shit, it's Tirek. Fuck-a you Tirek!"
~ Princess Celestia

"I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did naht! Oh hai, Spike."
~ Shining Armor

"Dudes. I like dudes."
~ Any stallion

[RDDash 19,189]

"I'll follow him to the end of the Equiss", Starlight sobbed. 

"Yes, darling. But Equiss does not have any ends. Celestia fixed that", replied Rarity.

 

[The MegaBrony 219]

Anypony: Sizzling stallions! (A reference to Mega Man's "Sizzling circuits" in the Ruby Spears cartoon)

[RDDash 19,189]

Chrysalis pokes Grogar body, "Is that old goat dead?"

Cozy Glow shrugs her shoulders "I heard him go like Ugh, I am having heart attack! Drops on the floor dead."

Chryssalis turns to Tirek and asks him, "Is that true?"

Tirek looks at her and says, "heck if I know, I am just happy we could finally leave. So pizza?"

Chrysalis blinks for a moment, "Sure."

She trots next to him and then they both turn their heads to Cozy Glow Tirek sighs, "Fine, the pipsqueak can come too."

"Yay friendship!" Cozy Glow grins happily.

[The MegaBrony 219]

Starlight: Hit him with a friendship blast.

Twilight: We just hit him with the biggest friendship blast in the history of friendship. It did nothing.

Gusty: We just need to hold him off until everyone's on board.

Twilight: It won't end there. The longer Grogar's in Equestria, the more powerful he grows. He'll hunt us down. We need to stop him here and now.

Starlight: I'm not doing "Get help". (resurrects Unicron at full power)

Grogar (after all ponies save Twilight board the spaceship): Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me!

Twilight: I know. But he can! (teleports away onto the spaceship)

Unicron: Tremble before me, Equestria! I am your reckoning! (stabs Grogar with a massive sword that also splits the planet in half and blows it up with Grogar in the explosion's epicenter)

 

 

Edited May 23, 2019 by The MegaBrony

[Singe 2,111]

Twilight Sparkle: Welcome to my class, today I'm going to teach you all about friendship.

Student Colt: *Raises hoof.*

Twilight Sparkle: Question?

Student Colt: Can we just cut to the part of the sleep over? I've got my eyes on some ponies I would like to get to know. *Winks at some ponies.*

Twilight Sparkle: Not at this level, a sleep over is more advanced. In your case, very very very advanced.

 

Applejack: Things have been hard for Rarity recently. With her stores closing down because she's redundant in fashion sense and getting caught plagiarizing other fashion designers.

Fluttershy: I told her doing fashion was a bad idea.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Welcome Starlight Glimmer as my new student.

Starlight Glimmer: Yes, I will be a good student. My plan for revenge will be in motion as I eliminate each of your friends one by one in the most horrific way your mind could never imagine. I will continuously bombard you with psychological games to test your limits. Then in the end with you all alone and broken, it will be a delicious sight.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh....

Starlight Glimmer: Just kidding, or am I? 

 

Twilight Sparkle: Nothing can stop me because I have the magic of friendship. That's what I would say, but my friends couldn't bother to stay alive for five more minutes!

 

Edited May 24, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 19,189]

Rarity: I unlocked the unlimited money hack

[The Kaeya Simp 13,989]

Everyone: "Piss off pinkie!"
 

[Flutterstep 47,090]

Fluttershy: Running a business must be hard work. 

Rarity: That’s quite the understatement. Do tell me, darling. What do you do for money? 

AJ: I’d like to know that too. 

Fluttershy: Um... 

*runs away, slams door, starts engine and drives off*

[RDDash 19,189]

Garble: Okay Spike I'll be straight with you, do you even hang out with any guy friends?

Spike: What do you mean, of course I do.

Garble: Every time we see each other you always hang out with girls. Not like that Spike, they are a bad influence on you.

Spike: Oh

[Treeglow Flicker 13,722]

Princess Cadance: I want a divorce!

[RDDash 19,189]

Twilight: "Dear princess Celestia, what the actual hay? I never wanted those stupid wings. You've forced me to do a stupid spell that made my friends lives miserable" 

Celestia: "But that's exactly the point you passed the ultimate test in friendship and.."

Twilight:  "No, you just don't get to do this to me or any creature else!"

***

Twilight "Hey, stay away from Fluttershy!"

Sunset: "Or what?"

Twilight "Or I'll shove you into the locker and leave your sorry ass in there."

Sunset: "Are you out of your damned mind? You will get us both expelled."

Twilight: "Well, good I am not planning to stay here for long"

Edited May 26, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Kion 7,407]

Spike : Im secretly working with Grogar and the rest of the villains.

Rainbow Dash: Slow and steady wins the race 

Pinkie pie: My doctor says I need to  cut back on sugar  and sweets or Ill get cancer. 

Rarity: I buy all my dressing materials from Walmart. 

Sunburst: I wonder if Starlight wants to have babies with me. 

 

Edited May 26, 2019 by Twilight and Starlight

[RDDash 19,189]

Starlight: "We can do this time shenanigans literally forever."

Twilight: "No, what part of immortal pony goddess you don't understand? I can do this thing forever, and you have at best 30-40 years."

Starlight: "Well, um, I didn't think this thing through"

Twilight: "No you didn't."

 

***

Rainbow Dash diary "It's been 100 days ever since everypony became walkers, I don't know how much longer I can take it. Ponyvile Canterlot and Cloudsdale are all gone. It's been lonely."

[The Kaeya Simp 13,989]

Twilight: "I wonder if Rainbow wants my foals"
MEANWHILE, ON A NEARBY CLOUD
Rainbow: "I wonder if Twilight wants my foals... if she could figure a way to make that happen"

Edited May 26, 2019 by Sherbert MGS

[Kion 7,407]

Rainbow Dash: I hate being the fastest pony in equestria. 

Fluttershy: Somepony call an exterminator. 

Starlight: You know I’m getting frickin sick and tired of Twilight always leaving me behind. 

Luna: I hate nighttime.

[The Kaeya Simp 13,989]

Twilight: "I wonder if Starlight wants my foals"
NEXT ROOM
Starlight: "i wonder if Twilight wants to give me foals"

[Kion 7,407]

Starlight: I was much better of a pony when I was Evil than I am now. But I let friendship affect me.

Fluttershy: I think it’s time I kick angel out of my house. 

Sweetie belle: Why Applebloom always get all the attention what about me. 

Grogar: I love  princess Twilight sparkle and her friends.