Need some help here

[Cool Shades 34]

So i'm helping my brother with a fic he's doing on fimfiction called, "Darkness Over Equestria". We've made some ground and made the grammar a little better and so you can see their personalities. But the problem i have is the summary for it, here's what i have:

 

Tamuro finds himself in a dark world, with no memory of how he got there. The only thing he remembers is his name, and where he was from. He meets six ponies, the Equinoxean counterparts of the mane six who serve Queen Black Hole, an Equinoxean counterpart Of Princess Celestia. Little does Tamuro know that an invasion is about to begin, and that he will play a part in the darkest day in Equestria's history.

 

I just need a bit of help figuring out how to put this to make it eye catching.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Cool Shades

[Petrus 696]

You could talk a little more about the Equinoxiean part of the story. I like how there are Equinoxean counterparts but I think if you can, add something else about it. All I know right now is that there is a counter part mane six and counter part Celestia. Other than that it sounds pretty good! Good luck.

[Cool Shades 34]

That i'm trying to get done, but summaries are not my specialty, i have a tiny bit more experience than candy star did, but i'm no genius by any means. I'm happy he is writing again, but just want to make sure everything goes well.

[Brock Obama 298]

That i'm trying to get done, but summaries are not my specialty, i have a tiny bit more experience than candy star did, but i'm no genius by any means. I'm happy he is writing again, but just want to make sure everything goes well.

I'm wrttting a fanfic on fimfiction ( what the name is and what it's about I won't say) also and I encountered the same problem. I feel like I should make it short and sweet but then again I feel like I might have to change it.

[Cool Shades 34]

I just don't want to give too much away.