New OC !

[Lyme Soundstick 266]

My second, and probably last, OC

 

His name is Slei (pronounces slay) Ansuz.  Slei is welsh for sly.

 

The main thing with this pony is he's an anti hero type unicorn who's really good with speech (like silver tongue, befriending ponies etc)

 

here's his Character Bio thing if you want the rest of the details details: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/slei-ansuz-r8665

 

Attached image is him

 

What do you think? Any improvements possibly?

Edited August 3, 2015 by Lyme Soundstick

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

I think the "ruling of Equestria" is what's gonna make this OC unlikable and the fact that he was mocked and all of that. The backstory could use quite a bit of detail as well. I like the design though. 

[Lyme Soundstick 266]

I think the "ruling of Equestria" is what's gonna make this OC unlikable and the fact that he was mocked and all of that. The backstory could use quite a bit of detail as well. I like the design though. 

 

Added some more to the backstory and changed the parts about being mocked to a slightly less aggressive thing and the ruling of Equesria to be less aggressive to.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Added some more to the backstory and changed the parts about being mocked to a slightly less aggressive thing and the ruling of Equesria to be less aggressive to.

 

Actually, you know what I think, I think the fact is...his whole backstory needs to be revamped. It's very confusing and having him wanting to rule over Equestria sadly falls under an OC stereotype. Also, you need to add how he got his cutie mark and what life was like for him as a young colt.

 

As of now, your OC is leaning towards a Mary Sue/Gary Stu...

[Lyme Soundstick 266]

Actually, you know what I think, I think the fact is...his whole backstory needs to be revamped. It's very confusing and having him wanting to rule over Equestria sadly falls under an OC stereotype. Also, you need to add how he got his cutie mark and what life was like for him as a young colt.

 

As of now, your OC is leaning towards a Mary Sue/Gary Stu...

 

Changed the whole backstory, including how he got his cutie mark

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Changed the whole backstory, including how he got his cutie mark

 

Aha! That's what that F stands for "fib"! Another word for lying. Now you're getting somewhere. I think you might be ready to put him to the test in an RP. 

[Lyme Soundstick 266]

Aha! That's what that F stands for "fib"! Another word for lying. Now you're getting somewhere. I think you might be ready to put him to the test in an RP. 

Thanks for the help in making him better

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Thanks for the help in making him better

No prob dude! Now you can post an OOC topic in the RPing section and see if people want to do something with ya!

 

Alternatively, you can find open RPs and join them. Just be sure to sign up in the OOC topic first.